The Gold Road Chapter – which includes the Scribing system – and Update 42 is now available to test on the PTS! You can read the latest patch notes here: https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/656454/

Best ESO ...Jokes..Memes

  • Solace of Shadows
    An Orc, Kajiite, Altmer, Dunmer, Bosmer, Redguard, Imperial, Nord, Argonian and Breton all walk into a bar.

    Only the Bosmer walks out. Ten arrows lighter.
    Solace In Shadows is my name in the realm of Tamriel. If you disagree with my words or disparage my sentiments, then face me on the battlefield and you can kiss my axe.
  • Vyperia
    Vyperia
    ✭✭✭
    An Orc, Kajiite, Altmer, Dunmer, Bosmer, Redguard, Imperial, Nord, Argonian and Breton all walk into a bar.

    Only the Bosmer walks out. Ten arrows lighter.

    Why ten? Must have been one large Orc
    PC EU - CP 810+ - @Vyperia

    Vyperia - Stamsorc EP
    Aela Of Rorikstead - Stamdk EP
    Fireya at-Rusa - Stamden DC


    XB NA - CP 500+ - GT Vyperia

    Aleri Telvanni - Magsorc AD
  • PhatGrimReaper
    PhatGrimReaper
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Working as intended!
    Fat Grim Reaper - (m)Dragon Knight AR28
    F G R Junior - Templar AR26
    This One Had Name Changed - Nightblade AR19
    Fat Grim Streaker - Sorcerer AR15
    M12-GM - Guardians of the Twelve-GM - Crown Store Heroes - ETU
    RÀGE - R.I.P
  • Solace of Shadows
    An Orc, Kajiite, Altmer, Dunmer, Bosmer, Redguard, Imperial, Nord, Argonian and Breton all walk into a bar.

    Only the Bosmer walks out. Ten arrows lighter.

    Why ten? Must have been one large Orc

    He was! He needed all ten! But when he fell he crushed the Altmer. A Redguard jumped in front of the Kajiite, spinning his two swords in an awesome display of skill. The Kajiite nodded, very impressed by the display then pulled out a crossbow and shot the swordsman in the face. The Imperial ran at the Dunmer, double handed sword held high to strike but slipped in a puddle of mead and fell on his own sword. The Argonian stabbed the Dunmer with a poisoned knife but died with the Breton as he threw a fireball at the Kajiite, at too close range.

    The Bosmer did the sensible thing and hid.

    The Nord started it all but died of alcohol poisoning.
    Edited by Solace of Shadows on February 18, 2016 1:18AM
    Solace In Shadows is my name in the realm of Tamriel. If you disagree with my words or disparage my sentiments, then face me on the battlefield and you can kiss my axe.
  • The_4O4
    The_4O4
    ✭✭✭
    Soon
  • DrizztWulfgar
    DrizztWulfgar
    ✭✭
    awesome Jokes...keep them coming
  • Solace of Shadows
    Okay.
    What do you call an angery Orc?



    A redundant statement.
    Solace In Shadows is my name in the realm of Tamriel. If you disagree with my words or disparage my sentiments, then face me on the battlefield and you can kiss my axe.
  • Tyrion87
    Tyrion87
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    ✭✭
    Natch Potes!
  • Tyrion87
    Tyrion87
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    ✭✭
    Oh, and this one has already come to my mind:

    All four: sorcerer, dragonknight, templar and nightblade took a trip to Imperial City.
    Only the first three were seen wandering around the districts.
    Where is the nightblade?
    .
    ..
    ...
    ....
    Under the cloak.
    Edited by Tyrion87 on February 19, 2016 1:18AM
  • ArrerBoy
    ArrerBoy
    ✭✭✭
    What did the Falmer say before it died to a rampaging Nord?

    "I did not see that coming."
  • Pensola
    Pensola
    ✭✭✭
    I found this when reading "World of Tamriel Book 1: The Land":

    Q: Which side of the bird has the most feathers?
    A: The outside.

    Being a lover of puns, this fell right at home with me! XD
  • FleetwoodSmack
    FleetwoodSmack
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Have you heard the one about the spriggan?
    Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies!
  • DrizztWulfgar
    DrizztWulfgar
    ✭✭
    NO
  • Lil_Willie
    Lil_Willie
    ✭✭✭
    ESO.
  • Cadbury
    Cadbury
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    I don't know, but please stop nerfing my class :( .
    Edited by Cadbury on February 26, 2016 9:45AM
    "If a person is truly desirous of something, perhaps being set on fire does not seem so bad."
  • Solace of Shadows
    A vampire walks into a bar full of Nords and challenges each of them to a drinking contest.





    The Nords lose.

    THE END!
    Solace In Shadows is my name in the realm of Tamriel. If you disagree with my words or disparage my sentiments, then face me on the battlefield and you can kiss my axe.
  • jarnkoldur
    jarnkoldur
    ✭✭✭
    What do you call...

    An Altmer within the woods? A wood elf!

    An Altmer in the dark? A dark elf!

    An INTELLIGENT Altmer in the dark? A dwarf!

    A Bosmer standing on top of a table? A high elf!

    A Khajit in the summer who's pouncing around the top of a structure with a tin roof? A skooma addict.

    A Khajit who fell into a body of water? Grumpy cat.

    An Orc at a tavern? A deterrence.

    An Orc and a few drinks? A mistake.

    An Orc and several more drinks? Whatever she wants you to call her, you're the one who got drunk and married her stupid!
    "And when the truth finally dawns, it shall dawn in fire!"
  • DrizztWulfgar
    DrizztWulfgar
    ✭✭
    Nice jokes.... how about some meme's for eye candy
Sign In or Register to comment.