🐟 The Mad Cod Fishy Belt (Mythic – Waist)
“The fish do not judge. They only fall.”
⚙️ Mythic Effect
While equipped in PvP zones (Cyrodiil & Imperial City):
You cannot collect Tel Var Stones
You deal no damage
You take no damage
You cannot capture or contest objectives
When a hostile player attacks you in a PvP zone:
The heavens open, raining spectral fish upon the attacker
Attacker is stunned for 3 seconds
This effect can occur once every 30 seconds per attacker
🌍 Outside PvP Zones
You deal damage normally
You take damage normally
Fish still rain down when you are attacked
(purely visual, no stun — because Sheogorath insists)
🎣 Intended Purpose
Allows non-PvP players to:
Complete fishing achievements
Explore PvP zones peacefully
Exist without being repeatedly farmed
Provides zero combat advantage
Prevents Tel Var abuse entirely
⚖️ Balance & Exploit Prevention
No Tel Var gain while equipped (including passive sources)
Auto-disables damage immunity if Tel Var is gained by any means
Cannot be used to scout, tank, or body-block objectives
Stun has an internal cooldown to prevent griefing
📜 Lore Justification
“Sheogorath decreed that those who fish should not bleed, and those who bleed should perhaps try fishing instead.”
Quest giver is:
A completely sane Argonian
Standing knee-deep in water
Surrounded by fish that are clearly watching you
🧂 Community Reaction Forecast
PvPers: “Why can’t I kill them?”
ZOS: “Because they are fishing.”
Everyone else: equips belt immediately
Final Thought
This version is:
QoL, not power
Funny without being stupid
Impossible to exploit
Extremely ESO