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Tired of bugs, bots... Quests? The solution is here!

WilliamTee
WilliamTee
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Introducing the...

Troglodyte Edition.

Only $1000!
  • Includes a max level character with max gear, all skills maxed, a maxed out mount, and bags and bank upgraded to the max!
  • We'll also throw in a pink elephant vanity pet called Maximus!
  • Every in-game achievement is already accomplished, every quest and dungeon completed and all locations unlocked immediately upon entering the game!
  • Equip your limited edition 'Blade of UnoShotto' to insta-gib anyone or anything you meet, no effort or thought required!
  • Make use of your very own 'Ban Hammer' that simply ports any players you don't like the look of to another game instance!



This purchase also includes a non-renewable* 1 month subscription.

*Don't worry, most likely by the end of the second week you'll be bored, lonely and have moved on elsewhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Obviously I jest... But reading these forums I sometimes think this is the solution many of you are looking for.

It is a game in it's infancy. Let it grow, enjoy the bits of it that are working, some of them are pretty awesome and should be more than large enough to entertain you while they work on the less-awesome bits.
  • Diskarma
    Diskarma
    Soul Shriven
    Excuse me but if it's a F2P game ,or a Open-Beta ,then that's okay .but unfortunately I've paid for the full game , not for a 'main-quest-bug-blocks-2weeks-and-no-really-fixing/support' game.
    Yes , it's a good game , but we really need better customer support.
  • Fenbrae
    Fenbrae
    ✭✭✭
    I really want a Blade of UnoShotto.
    Please implement it.
    Currently playing:
    Swims-In-Sap - CP200+ - Argonian Templar

    I like my healing like i like my characters: generic
  • Winter_Tactics
    I want a pink elephant. I shall name him Stampy.
  • stylernaku
    stylernaku
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    Another flame bait dead space thread. Let it die.
  • Jitterbug
    Jitterbug
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    ✭✭
    Lol, made me think of the South Park WoW episode...
    "Now we can finally play the game"
  • Stormynature
    Stormynature
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    I want a petting zoo/trophy room where I can park my novelty pets at a set gold rate per day autodrawn from my bank and thus stop taking up bag space.

    I want ZoS to work in hand with credit card companies to create a system by where multiple purchases of ESO are autoflagged for human player verification.

    I want to be able to give gold to my fiance ingame without a regard to being banned.

    I want blue treasure maps to feel like they are special (they might be at higher levels but definitely not in starting realms).

    I want...so many things...but I will just be happy when everything settles into normal operation and I will only occasionally run into difficulty ingame requiring a customer support request.
    A maxed out luggage draught horse should be allowed to carry a wayshrine
  • WilliamTee
    WilliamTee
    ✭✭✭
    I want a petting zoo/trophy room where I can park my novelty pets at a set gold rate per day autodrawn from my bank and thus stop taking up bag space.

    I think I saw somewhere a mention about implementing something along those lines... Maybe i imagined it?
    I want to be able to give gold to my fiance ingame without a regard to being banned.

    A list of 'risky behaviours' would be very useful actually.

    Where's the line between 'play as you want' and 'exploiting'?

    Not specifics (knowledge of these will just be abused by gold sellers/botters) but a 'here's a heads up that we're aware of this, so y'all better stop doing it' would be pretty handy.
    I want blue treasure maps to feel like they are special (they might be at higher levels but definitely not in starting realms).

    I've been using my CE ones for other alliances in veteran content. Picking up veteran blues instead of lvl 6 blues is quite handy.
    I want...so many things...but I will just be happy when everything settles into normal operation and I will only occasionally run into difficulty ingame requiring a customer support request.

    Here's hoping. :)
    stylernaku wrote: »
    Another flame bait dead space thread. Let it die.

    Thanks for the bump. ;)
  • Cogo
    Cogo
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    I understand that the poster was making a joke and wanted to wake up people who whines about not getting everything all the time.

    Something just hit me.....I think there are a few people who actually LIKE your "suggestion", for real. Why do I say this? Its simular what WoW doing and they gaining players....the wrong kind of lazy moron players but still.

    Great post actually. People who even for a second would be interested of this "pack", should go elsewhere the EsO.

    Thanks for the giggle!
    Oghur Hatemachine, Guild leader of The Nephilim - EU Megaserver
    Orc Weapon Specialist and Warchief of the Ebonheart Pact - Trueflame Cyrodiil War Campaign
    Guildsite: The Nephilim

    "I don't agree with what you are saying, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it"
    -Voltaire

    "My build? Improvise, overcome and adapt!"
  • liquid_wolf
    liquid_wolf
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    I payed for a FINAL PRODUCT!

    What do you mean this game has to GROW and CHANGE!?!?

    VerucaSalt.jpg
  • WilliamTee
    WilliamTee
    ✭✭✭
    Cogo wrote: »
    Its simular what WoW doing and they gaining players....the wrong kind of lazy moron players but still.

    Hmm... truthfully I can understand where wow are coming from with the 'free' 90 with WoD... It's a daunting experience to draw new players to the game when they have a full 100 levels to work through...

    There are a lot of flaws with it too: people won't understand either the dynamics of the game, nor their class... but still. It's only the one character... except that they're going to sell extra 90s in the store too?

    yeah, you're right, that is worrying... :(
    but as we're seeing, perhaps that reflects the reality of the modern gaming market?

    Some people clearly want the sort of instant gratification more commonly found in console games.

    It's this attitude, represented by many that have purchased this game due to their familiarity with the TES franchise thanks to it's leap onto consoles, that fails to comprehend that with PC games, as mentioned above, purchasing the game doesn't actually buy you a 'completed product'.

    There's a reason the console version comes out much later.
  • Jenasy
    Jenasy
    ✭✭✭
    Am i the only one who has not run into that many game stopping bugs?. Ive had a few here and there? But i don't see all these problems... Granted i am taking my time so maybe by the time i get to certain quests they are fixed. I do most if not all the quests in an area. I do have some lag issues but its more of an issue with my crappy video card... Most annoying bugs were fixed with a relog..

    For those of you who want a seamless game. I suggest maybe not playing it right @ launch :).. Also lvl slow so things get fixed before you get there.

    I also think alot of ppl don't realize that Customer Support has millions of tickets and issues to deal with.. Not to mention for every bot report i am sure there are 10 wrong ones... I don't think Customer Support sucks I just think there is human limitations here :) Mostly cuz all the issues these bots and exploiters have caused. Every MMO has these issues crop up.. This does not mean the game sucks and I am maybe one of the few that think they are working hard to make this the best game it can be :)

    Loved the post, btw Made me laugh :)
  • WilliamTee
    WilliamTee
    ✭✭✭
    This has actually made me think...

    The idea of a 'ban hammer' that ports players to another instance might be a rather cunning way of handling botters and gold spammers.

    All that happens when their accounts are suspended is they cancel payment/use stolen credit cards to set up more accounts for 'free'.

    They're right back with a new account within hours.

    HOWEVER, if rather than banning them they were all just ported and locked into the same game instance as one another....?

    They could spam one another to their hearts content, farm the same bosses and cancel out one another's loot (only so many people can do enough damage to a boss to get loot at any one time)... never actually reaching their intended audience, or obstructing real players.

    ESO gets their subs... we get left alone.

    Call the instance Cheesemongers Hollow.
  • knaveofengland
    knaveofengland
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    oh my hornets nest , send them to planet zog
  • Lovely
    Lovely
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    why is this in Customer Support? What is your issue?
  • Stormynature
    Stormynature
    ✭✭✭
    Lovely wrote: »
    why is this in Customer Support? What is your issue?

    Customer support has become to a degree the default General Discussion area however the intent of the OP is fairly clear with the following excerpt
    It is a game in it's infancy. Let it grow, enjoy the bits of it that are working, some of them are pretty awesome and should be more than large enough to entertain you while they work on the less-awesome bits.

    You might consider that the OP is simply saying "relax, don't start another thread about bots (or similar controversy) we already have an overwhelming supply of them."
    A maxed out luggage draught horse should be allowed to carry a wayshrine
  • reggielee
    reggielee
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    hate to say it but this would absolutely work and satisfy all those short attention span impulse buying losers who have to cheat at everything in life. they would buy it directly and the gold farmers would move on
    Mama always said the fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
  • WilliamTee
    WilliamTee
    ✭✭✭
    Damn, that's a good point.

    It should come with a 'TamEx Gold Card' giving you 1,000,000 gold to save you having to look 'elsewhere' for easy coinage.
  • ANewShadeRep88_ESO
    WilliamTee wrote: »
    Introducing the...

    Troglodyte Edition.

    Only $1000!
    • Includes a max level character with max gear, all skills maxed, a maxed out mount, and bags and bank upgraded to the max!
    • We'll also throw in a pink elephant vanity pet called Maximus!
    • Every in-game achievement is already accomplished, every quest and dungeon completed and all locations unlocked immediately upon entering the game!
    • Equip your limited edition 'Blade of UnoShotto' to insta-gib anyone or anything you meet, no effort or thought required!
    • Make use of your very own 'Ban Hammer' that simply ports any players you don't like the look of to another game instance!



    This purchase also includes a non-renewable* 1 month subscription.

    *Don't worry, most likely by the end of the second week you'll be bored, lonely and have moved on elsewhere.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Obviously I jest... But reading these forums I sometimes think this is the solution many of you are looking for.

    It is a game in it's infancy. Let it grow, enjoy the bits of it that are working, some of them are pretty awesome and should be more than large enough to entertain you while they work on the less-awesome bits.

    Or I could just play this until May 27th and then play Watch Dogs and if I beat that/get bored, play Wildstar until September when Destiny comes out. Problem solved. xD
  • WilliamTee
    WilliamTee
    ✭✭✭
    As long as you don't count being many $$$ out of pocket as a problem... :/

    Can you be my sugar daddy?
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