I would have probably written about "cultural differences" now, but I know we're from the same country (or at least I assume that), so... Maybe we have a different definition of politeness.
I'm not talking about being quiet when being abused, and not about just giving in to everything either (you probably know the proverb "Der Klügere gibt nach, bis er der Dumme ist." - translated for the others: "The smartest one gives in until he's the dumb/disadvantaged one")... I don't think that's a solution. No, what I was about was the ability to discuss unemotionally and fact-based. If you utter your opinion calm, but precise and with a certain sternness/gravity (not sure what explains it better in English, sorry), you won't be considered weak. At least I take someone who talks little, but if they say something, it has weight, much more serious than someone who gets completely aggressive and whines like a baby in case of a disagreement. Not sure if it sounds a bit too harsh or cold, I don't think it necessarily has to be like this. There can even be a bit of friendlyness mixed inActually it was just about being... calm and not rude or aggressive.
This and a proverb... that I have to look up in English first... "As one calls into the canyon, so it echoes back." (interestingly, in German it's the same wording but with a forest instead of a canyon
I really related it to general behavior in society rather than the conversational level. Although the transitions here are of course fluid. Even the best arguments, presented calm and emotionless, can bounce off the ego of another person and leave you behind as "the stupid one" (if you do not get involved in the discussion level of the other person).
Interesting, that makes much more sense than our German version with the forest
adriant1978 wrote: »
The golden rule of "treat others as you would like to be treated" is an oldie but a goodie.
It may be a golden rule, but often only in theory in my opinion. Or maybe I see things too negatively.
you have to choose , will you actually play the content or talk with others?
why would anyone join a guild without coop with anyone or being silent and non social?
This is not directed to you specially. Being autistic does not mean you are not responsible for your actions. It has become very popular in this age, to excuse actions, and even play the victim by claiming autism. In reality, people were just being jerks.