Pre buff with beckoning armor to help pull in ranged adds. Use agony totem on trash to fear them, which will buy you some time to finish grouping adds. Damage dealers should make quick work of the adds you have grouped up the stragglers you might need to range taunt.
how the heck am i suppose to taunt everything? its madness.
You can't! I(NB tank) only taunt bosses and boss level adds. For trash I use an aoe to get their attention and trap them with caltrops. If your group rush in before you and draw all the aggro to themselves, it's not your fault.
You aren't really supposed to taunt everything. You taunt the bosses (obviously) and the most dangerous of the ads - it's usually the biggest, meanest looking guy(s). If it's humanoid, it probably has either a shield or a 2h. They usually also have the fancier healthbar (not like a boss one, but fancier than a normal mob). Most everything else you just pull in and CC for convenience, your group really shouldn't die if you don't taunt every single one of the 15 trash archers/mages/swordsmen/etc. If your group does die, your group is doing something wrong. If your group insists that you should be taunting every single one of the 15 mobs, your group doesn't understand how ESO dungeons work.