Dumb dungeon players (salty rant)

VaranisArano · December 2019

My favorite "Tyler" pictured in comic form by Isriana: https://www.deviantart.com/isriana/art/TESO-Respect-Your-Healers-696152788

Comic under Spoiler for size

max_only · December 2019

You had me up until you said you’re not Jesus. Who am I to believe then????

Tsar_Gekkou · December 2019

Learning how to tank is making me even more aware of how terrible the average dungeon dps is. At least when i'm healing I can be lazy and spam regen while browsing youtube if the group is taking forever to get past 1 add pull, but as a tank I can't watch youtube and spam my skills since I actually have to stay engaged or else even more will go wrong. And then you get the 810CP people who spam a few light attacks, spam a mag skill on a stam character, and then die if something even sneezes in their general direction.

D0PAMINE · December 2019

idk wrote: »

uzi wrote: »

Odovacar wrote: »

idk wrote: »

It does not surprise me anymore when some Tom, ***, or Harry, or Janice (no offense to anyone whose has that as a real name) asks the GF for a random group, gets just what they asked for them comes to the forum to complain about it.

There are ways to ensure you have a decent tank, healer and DPS in your group.

^^^ This!

uzi wrote: »

I am aware, thank you. That is why this is a pointless, "salty rant", and i just wanted to express frustration. Happy new year!

Also, maybe some Bob will pick up something to learn from this post and contribute towards a more tolerable dungeon finder. Happy new year!

Bob does not read the forums (most do not). He is to busy in accounting.

I mean, he has 6 kids to feed.

uzi · December 2019

goldenarcher1 wrote: »

Maybe Bob was trolling you OP?

I have taken that possibility under consideration, but the sheer volume of these Bobs is simply awe-inspiring. Thus it brings me back to the original conclusion. Happy new year!

bluebird · December 2019

VaranisArano wrote: »

My favorite "Tyler" pictured in comic form by Isriana: https://www.deviantart.com/isriana/art/TESO-Respect-Your-Healers-696152788

Comic under Spoiler for size

Lol, that's awesome

Wish all Tylers would receive their just deserts like that! I'll fantasize about this comic the next time yet another uber pwnage leetpro player tries to lecture us based on his vast Alcast-guide knowledge.

KillsAllElves · December 2019

SydneyGrey wrote: »

You could join a dungeon guild and avoid most of these problems. Just sayin'.

That seems to be too hard for some. The op got what he deserved.

Hawco10 · December 2019

I heal in dungeons. Never tanked or done dps. Like most of you, done just about every trial and dungeon out there. I use activity finder if I’m running a normal daily and my guild mates are all busy.
I try my best I heal Bob, Chris etc, but when I read in text the infamous “Healer, what skills you have slotted and what gear do you have ?”
Then that’s my que to sail of into the sunset and wait for some guildes.

akdave0 · December 2019

My greatest foe is not the game, its the sprinting potato under 50 superman, he/she runs into battle before the rest of us have even loaded in. Dies, yells at everyone for being crappy, rage quits. Usually que as a tank. If they do hang around the sprint continues, gets the rest of us locked out of the battle. Wipes, yells.

Moral of the story.
Move as a group, be nice, we will get through it faster as a team, rather than greedy self-serving psychophants.

Iskiab · December 2019

Royaji wrote: »

MartiniDaniels wrote: »

There is nothing worse in ESO as to play as dungeon healer.

Haven't tried tanking, huh?

Agreed. I’ve PvE healed lots of dungeons where I was 60%+ of the group’s dps as the healer. I don’t mind, they were low CP new players and as long as they’re trying it’s fine.

As a tank I’m not familiar enough with the role to design high damage tank specs and do lots of damage while tanking. A low dps group is mind numbing.

erliesc · December 2019

JanTanhide wrote: »

LOL. Good read! I really enjoyed it and I feel ya! I've seen that behaviour too and it's a bit irritating. IDK what to tell ya except it is just the way it is with some players.

I know a few players that are now over CP 1250 and have no Set gear, no rotation and just play for fun. When they run dungeons with us it is quite interesting!

I've probably run only 4-5 4-person regular dungeons. For me it isn't really a pleasant experience. I just follow the leader and try to do as much damage as possible. And avoid dying. My FPS in open areas is usually around 60 to 80....so I'm getting reasonable graphics.

There is so much going on I'm surprised anyone can follow things. Interesting though is the OP explanation of what's going on. I could print that out and use it during a run? LOL If I seem to be lagging some...trust me I'm just reading the instructions.

I do like to some extent doing delves (some even at the 4 person higher levels). I sneak and use invisibility potions...going after skyshards usually....and the typical missions in a delve. The only issues I run into are the few delves where the enemy is crowded around the skyshard...can't do that alone.

This kind of play allows me to think and use some tactics...and I enjoy it...it's a challenge.

ChimpyChumpy · December 2019

Going to admit that I still get hit by one shots in vet dungeons. The telegraphs in this game aren't obvious to me. A boss waves their arm a little and I drop dead 10 meters away.

Some bosses you do have to run, how do you kill the three bosses at the end of volenfell without moving around? Or frostvault just stand in the flame and let the arms hit you? I find it easier to follow behind them and take out adds as I go. Am I missing something there? What about the adds in moon hunter at that sigil stage? keep them on the stairs just let them turn into werewolves as they come down and hope aoe takes them out? I must be missing something. Even on normal these dungeons require some movement.

Or are you talking fungal grotto?

As Dps who pugs only not every healer or tank is great when they are the whole thing is great but you are always wary. I sometimes take the risk of not slotting a heal and die, if only the healer was a pro like you I guess I wouldn't have died? If we don't wipe I can't slot that heal. I apologized once about this while dead and the healer just sulked and left the group.

Raisin · December 2019

ChimpyChumpy wrote: »

Going to admit that I still get hit by one shots in vet dungeons. The telegraphs in this game aren't obvious to me. A boss waves their arm a little and I drop dead 10 meters away.

Some bosses you do have to run, how do you kill the three bosses at the end of volenfell without moving around? Or frostvault just stand in the flame and let the arms hit you? I find it easier to follow behind them and take out adds as I go. Am I missing something there? What about the adds in moon hunter at that sigil stage? keep them on the stairs just let them turn into werewolves as they come down and hope aoe takes them out? I must be missing something. Even on normal these dungeons require some movement.

Or are you talking fungal grotto?

As Dps who pugs only not every healer or tank is great when they are the whole thing is great but you are always wary. I sometimes take the risk of not slotting a heal and die, if only the healer was a pro like you I guess I wouldn't have died? If we don't wipe I can't slot that heal. I apologized once about this while dead and the healer just sulked and left the group.

You stack the three bosses in Volenfell and AOE them. ;p

But keep in mind that the OP specifically talks about DDs running around with bosses when it's not necessary. Not moving because of mechanics. ^^ It's expressed pretty clearly IMO.

ChimpyChumpy · December 2019

Well never saw the three bosses in volenfell get stacked. Should I slot a taunt?

Not sure I would call avoiding aoe and getting hit with attacks "mechanics". Mechanics are killing the spriggans that heal or destroying totems and finding a door through a maze while lighting braziers or picking up a flesh atronach's synergy. So no not clear at all, avoiding damage is not a mechanic.

idk · December 2019

D0PAMINE wrote: »

idk wrote: »

uzi wrote: »

Odovacar wrote: »

idk wrote: »

It does not surprise me anymore when some Tom, ***, or Harry, or Janice (no offense to anyone whose has that as a real name) asks the GF for a random group, gets just what they asked for them comes to the forum to complain about it.

There are ways to ensure you have a decent tank, healer and DPS in your group.

^^^ This!

uzi wrote: »

I am aware, thank you. That is why this is a pointless, "salty rant", and i just wanted to express frustration. Happy new year!

Also, maybe some Bob will pick up something to learn from this post and contribute towards a more tolerable dungeon finder. Happy new year!

Bob does not read the forums (most do not). He is to busy in accounting.

I mean, he has 6 kids to feed.

Exactly and OP gets all worked up because Bob caught unexpected kid agro. At least Bob has his priorities straight.

siddique · December 2019

I had to kill Valkyn Skoria in hm on my tank because all three pads were destroyed and the group couldn't survive beyond that.

Chained it to death, took me about 5 years I think. I'm talking about potato dps running to read the scroll lol

SocialAssassin · December 2019

siddique wrote: »

I had to kill Valkyn Skoria in hm on my tank because all three pads were destroyed and the group couldn't survive beyond that.

Chained it to death, took me about 5 years I think. I'm talking about potato dps running to read the scroll lol

What is "potato DPS"? I am not too familiar with that lingo?

siddique · December 2019

SocialAssassin wrote: »

siddique wrote: »

I had to kill Valkyn Skoria in hm on my tank because all three pads were destroyed and the group couldn't survive beyond that.

Chained it to death, took me about 5 years I think. I'm talking about potato dps running to read the scroll lol

What is "potato DPS"? I am not too familiar with that lingo?

Like a couch potato. Not pushing out much. I mean I understand if you are new and your output is like 10k dps or less, but then don't go ahead and read the damn scroll.

JPS · December 2019

I have found all these delightful qualities in one single player named Red-Neck

DLM · December 2019

uzi wrote: »

Let me tell you an example n. 1:

That fleeing dungeon player - let's call them Bob (no offence to any real Bobs)

Okay - so i use the dungeon finder to a normal random dungeon. (excluding DLC dungeons) This happens:

A boss is attacking Bob. Bob starts fleeing and dragging the boss around the area (or kiting, if you like).

Is it the same Bob that shows up at a dragon, have a Fus Ro Dah (cone AOE) on him and make sure to run like a headless chicken to have as many people as possible in the cone?
.

alanmatillab16_ESO · December 2019

While the OP comes across as a bit of a Chad he has a point.

How are players supposed to learn how to block/dodge or get out of the proverbial fire when they could ignore those mechanics as they levelled?

You only have to look at how many stand in front of a dragon in Elswyr or stand in the middle of the field when it takes off to do its strafing run.

That said, if a player does not want to deal with random players with random builds then they should not join up for a random group and join a guild or make a premade group.

Random dungeon does not just mean the choice of dungeon is random.

Taemiru · December 2019

As a former dedicated healer if there is one thing i learned from PuGing veteran dungeons (lets not talk about normals) its this:

Use group finder solo in two cases a) you are able to carry your whole team b) you are prepared to see some questionable plays and actually enjoying watching potatoes in their natural environment.

If those two cases are not something for you then just find a group/join a guild.
Like really, you can have 5 guilds and there is almost no chance that your premade group will have same kind of Bobs, Chrises and Karens.

Let noobs, leeches and people who want challenge in their life enjoy time together being stuck in dlc dungeons for hours and save your mental health

H3IIi0N · December 2019

When I see people flailing all over the place particularly fighting dragons I like to point out that no it doesn’t decrease your aggro while running around still shooting the big baddy.

The other side of the coin. *** know it all group members. The second you do something they don’t consider the “norm” they lose their ***.

It might be something inconsequential. They’re usually someone who probably leads a guild or has a number of sycophants who tag along & repeat what their leader says verbatim.

I run into them infrequently & love to antagonize them.

MellowMagic · December 2019

Every single time I see some casual who got agrod running around trying to kite the boss effectively lowering our dps by half all I can think of is the meme "why are you running, WHY ARE YOU RUNNING"

Rescue78 · December 2019

Starlock wrote: »

Insulting players who fail to meet expectations you likely never communicated to them is...

... well, it says a lot more about the person complaining than anything else. I prefer to run dungeons with folks who aren’t so up tight about it all. This is a game and should be treated accordingly... as something fun above all else. Loosen up. Your blood pressure and mental health will thank you for it.

Maybe you should loosen up and not take his post to heart. It was a funny vent post. I'm guessing you're a Bob.

idk · December 2019

siddique wrote: »

I had to kill Valkyn Skoria in hm on my tank because all three pads were destroyed and the group couldn't survive beyond that.

Chained it to death, took me about 5 years I think. I'm talking about potato dps running to read the scroll lol

I have two experiences in that very dungeon that tops that.

First, I was with a group that could not get past the two mini boss fights just before Valkyn. To many atros has spawned before they could kill the first mini boss and we tried many different strats.

To top that off I was with a group that could not get past Urata. That bosses adds were to much for them.

I used to queue solo as a tank to help out the GF and enjoyed helping players get their first clear on a vet dungeon. But experiences like those two are why I only queue with guildmates. Can help players understand mechanics but cannot help them if they cannot figure out how to do damage.

Runefang · December 2019

idk wrote: »

siddique wrote: »

I had to kill Valkyn Skoria in hm on my tank because all three pads were destroyed and the group couldn't survive beyond that.

Chained it to death, took me about 5 years I think. I'm talking about potato dps running to read the scroll lol

I have two experiences in that very dungeon that tops that.

First, I was with a group that could not get past the two mini boss fights just before Valkyn. To many atros has spawned before they could kill the first mini boss and we tried many different strats.

To top that off I was with a group that could not get past Urata. That bosses adds were to much for them.

I used to queue solo as a tank to help out the GF and enjoyed helping players get their first clear on a vet dungeon. But experiences like those two are why I only queue with guildmates. Can help players understand mechanics but cannot help them if they cannot figure out how to do damage.

My first, and last, time tanking in the group finder was on Urata. I wasn't even aware the adds healed her until then.

Huyen · December 2019

uzi wrote: »

Every day i'm astonished by the raw dullness of these players.

And no, i'm not talking about being a noob. I know what a noob is because i was a noob when i started playing this game. I tolerate noobs 100% and give them friendly advice and help them out if they need. I tolerate their lack of dps, lack of gear and lack of skill. I tolerate their ignorance of boss and dungeon mechanics and i'm always patient to explain any dungeon mechanic. Heck, i even like noobs, as most of them are humble and sincere and willing to learn the game.

I'm talking about something else. I'm talking about common freaking sense and basic god damn brain functions.

And I speak about them as players, not people, because i'm really starting to doubt if they're people at all. They could be bots just as well. They could also be chimpanzees, for all i know.

Let me tell you an example n. 1:

That fleeing dungeon player - let's call them Bob (no offence to any real Bobs)

Okay - so i use the dungeon finder to a normal random dungeon. (excluding DLC dungeons) This happens:

A boss is attacking Bob. Bob starts fleeing and dragging the boss around the area (or kiting, if you like).

This may happen because of several different reasons:
1. The tank is a pseudo tank (or a fake tank, if you like) and doesn't taunt the boss, and eventually the boss will attack Bob.
2. Bob is the tank and is a real, legit tank who taunts, but does this behaviour anyway.
3. The real tank is afk or dead or whatever for whatever reason.
4. The boss ignores taunts. There are many of this kind of bosses out there, and also bosses who have a specific ability that doesn't care about the taunt.
5. The tank is unable to taunt (has no stamina, is cc'd or just forgets the taunt - which shouldn't happen often but may happen because of bad build, being a noob, or for any understandable reason)

My only conclusion of why they do this, is that they fear of being damaged. But why? This behaviour is extremely inconvenient and irritating.
- You're super hard to kill in non-dlc normal dungeons by any boss
- Even if your health is super low and insufficient, in normal dungeons as a healer i can still keep you alive and make sure you don't die
- Despite anything, you should be prepared to go to dungeons with the capability of equipping a self heal skill and sufficient health and some potions, and these things aren't even necessary if the team has a real healer (and the team indeed does in about 99% of times in my cases)
- Even if the tank is a fake tank, there is absolutely no excuse for this behavior. ZERO EXCUSE.
- This behaviour makes everything tremendously more difficult and tremendously slower and tremendously more irritating
- Just god damn stand there, hold block and simultaneously do what you need to do (heal, taunt or attack or whatever)
- Usually Bob is also jumping while falling back, dodge rolling, doing light attacks and doing pretty much everything else he is supposed to do : BLOCKING AND STANDING STILL, thinking he is a pro ninja or something. HE ISN'T.
- Bob drags boss away from the Ultimate AoE attack i just cast. FREAKING STOP IT FOR HEAVENS SAKES. Why? Does he not pay attention to the game at all? AT ALL?
- Bob, and sometimes the rest of them will all run around the place like crazy, for absolutely no reason, avoiding all attempts from me to do group AoE heals.
- Bob isn't a noob. He is high level, could even be champs 810, may have good gear and good dps.
- I try to advice via the chat but there is no response. I try again to talk sense but it's like talking to a brick wall. He doesn't understand, care, pay attention, or just isn't capable of comprehending the advice and/or his behaviour.
- This behavior is so common and so annoying it makes me want to quit the dungeon and not to play the game altogether.
- Even noobs understand the concept of block, but Bob doesn't. Right mouse button. I suggest going through the tutorial again if this is difficult to comprehend.

Example n. 2:

Stands-in-red - let's call them Chris (no offence to any real Chris)

This guy.

So, i go to a pledge with dungeon finder or by manually forming a group. Or any vet dungeon for any reason.

Boss does an AoE attack. Chris doesn't care. He stands in it. So i have to burst heal him repeatedly or he dies. Or he just dies anyway because it's a delayed insta-kill attack.

- This is all the more strange because Bob and Chris can be the same person. IT MAKES NO DAMN SENSE. Why are you suddenly standing in lethal poison when you were evading normal boss attacks?
- I get that kiting in vet dungeons may sometimes be necessary but if you have a proper healer and you come prepared for the dungeon, kiting is still no excuse in most cases.
- If there is a pool of red - step out of it. And it doesn't mean you have to kite and be Bob as well.
- Does Chris ever pay attention to his heath bar? Might explain why Bob is afraid of boss attacks because he thinks it's going to hurt him but in reality only takes a fraction off his health.

Example n. 3:

Why is everyone dying? - let's call them Karen (no offence to any real Karen)

Vet dungeons. Or even normal dlc dungs. This is mostly boss mechanics, but really it has more to do with common sense than understanding any specific mechanic.

This happens:

Boss starts a special attack to take down a random player. Karen does nothing. The result being the random player is now dead. This could be bashable attack (like Ibomez in Imperial City Prison) or another mechanic (like Malubeth in Wayrest Sewers where you have to activate the altars). Some bosses even literally give you READABLE TEXT INSTRUCTIONS to follow such as "ally is cocooned" and then "press X to free cocooned ally".
- Without even knowing the boss' mechanics, it should be pretty damn obvious that in veteran dungeons, boss preparing a special attack doesn't mean any good.
- The tutorial taught you to bash. Did you forget how to do it or do you just not care?
- I give Karen advice in the chat, hopes being that she's just not paying enough attention to the game and thus made a mistake. No response. No change in behaviour. She repeats it over and over despite me trying to tell instructions. I can't really tell if Karen is a human or just a bot programmed to follow a certain protocol.
- In Malubeth, Karen keeps attacking the boss, being completely oblivious to the fact that the boss is currently immune to damage. A fellow teammate is being prepared for a FREAKING DINNER. Any bells ringing?
- I guess it's too much to ask for to listen to what other players are trying to tell you. Use google translate if you don't understand English.
- This behaviour is extremely frustrating and is a waste of everyone else's time

All in all:

Pro tips for Bobs, Chrises and Karens:
- Pay attention to the game
- Go to dungeons prepared
- Don't kite the boss unless the mechanic requires it (at least in normal dungeons)
- Don't stand in red
- Make sure you have sufficient health when going to dungeons (recommend at least 18k health for veteran dungeons)
- Pay attention to your health bar (and preferably stamina/magicka bars as well)
- If you go for vet dlc dungeons, check google for mechanics in advance
- Bash whenever boss is preparing a special attack
- Look at the chat every now and then, preferably often.
- Especially look at the chat if you keep freaking dying over and over
- Block if you're being attacked by boss. You can even cast most spells WHILE blocking.
- I'm a healer, not Jesus - I can heal and buff you but I don't have a spell that protects you from stupidity
- If you are a healer, invest in some extra health and protection if you worry about being one shotted by dungeon bosses

Phew! There you go! Please excuse my rant, just want to express my frustration.

Happy New Year for everyone, even Bobs, Chrises and Karens.

Couldnt agree more as tank. To many Bobs, Chrisses and Karens out there ruining dungeons for me. And no, im not a pro player either, this is common sense.

Aznarb · December 2019

Just stop pug and find friend.
That what I did and now I'm happy.

Most people playing this game are very bad and don't want to learn (no offense, your choice)
I've try to explain at so many player, only very few of them listen and take care of advice, even fewer of these /w me at the end for more advice.

I'm a healer main since I start playing MMORPG and it's 1st game I saw a general level that low..
Some blame dev cuz overland content and normal DG are too easy, maybe, but that not a reason, I've do the same normal and overland when exploring the game and didn't end like this.
And I've seen many 810+ who struggle in non-dlc normal (was sad and hilarious at the same time)

I was sick to see useless and fake tank so I made one, then I was seek of bad DPs so I made one too, but then the healer was atrocious so I get back on my healer.

Finding a friendly guild filled with people who want to improve (we've all level disparity) is way more fun.
If I use DG finder is really cuz I've no choice and I'm ready to leave as soon as I see the group is bad.
Idc about called elitist or whatever fancy word bad player love, but I don't want to wast my time or being frustrated anymore in a game I love because of a bunch of guys who didn't carry their weight.

Aluluei · December 2019

Raisin wrote: »

My name is Karen Chris-Bob and first of all how dare you.

ROFLOL! I'm dying here! Must be the damn healer's fault...