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In-Game newspapers

goatlyonesub17_ESO
goatlyonesub17_ESO
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Cannibal Orc Apprehended by Sentinel Guards
by Joamar Swordarm, reporter for the Sentinel Herald

A few years back, in 2E 582, an orc named Rufo "the eel" Morkul abducted a Redguard woman, Anaj Reraesh, from her home in Sentinel. He took her to his home in Bergama and murdered her. Leaving her body lying on the floor, Morkul briefly visited his wife, from whom he was separated (gee, I wonder why) and, finding her boyfriend there, he stabbed the fellow to death before returning to his own house where he had left the Redguard's body.

Being something of a traditional Orsinium cook, Morkul began carving Reraesh's body into esculent chunks, which he began cooking in his oven. The guards arrived about then on an anonymous tip, and they found certain of the dead Redguard's body parts, such as her ears, boiling in a pot over a stove burner. Perhaps Morkul expected to eat the evidence of his crime.
"Argonians have fat, scaly tails." —Rissa Manyclaws.
"Once upon a time there were three sisters: Delicious, Delightful, and Disgusting. Now, Delicious and Delightful were both very pretty girls..." —Brendalyn Jurarde.
"I smell to the nobility." —Indrasa Avani.
"A bargain with an animal is not a contract made." —Haderus Atrimus.
"Redguard makeup for sale. Free samples. Secret ingredients. Unique application method. Lots of satisfied customers." —The Mudball Goblin (aka, Cognac Vinecroft)
"Your armor looks like underwear." —Shuns-the-Knife.
  • myskyrim26
    myskyrim26
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    Sir Gregory Baserwille from Anvil was exalted to read this. He entrusted me to ask an author to provide more news like that as Anvil is a backwater and Sir Baserwille is looking for some exciting news like that. He also gave me a purse of coins to encourage the author, but I lost all the gold to a Khajiit named Pacrooti. And the leather purse itsef. Oh, that was a gorgeous Banekin skin leather purse worth thrice of gold it contained... How would I return to Sir Baserwille now without another newspaper?!
    Edited by myskyrim26 on December 17, 2018 6:03AM
  • Dr3sden
    Dr3sden
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    What if we could have in game newspapers for guilds maybe pick up at guild house?
  • myskyrim26
    myskyrim26
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    Dr3sden wrote: »
    What if we could have in game newspapers for guilds maybe pick up at guild house?

    If we had authors like the OP it would be a great idea. But what if the newspaper will tell only about hardships that a fair guild faces bribing a trader?
  • MattT1988
    MattT1988
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    What the hell is all this?
  • Dr3sden
    Dr3sden
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    myskyrim26 wrote: »
    Dr3sden wrote: »
    What if we could have in game newspapers for guilds maybe pick up at guild house?

    If we had authors like the OP it would be a great idea. But what if the newspaper will tell only about hardships that a fair guild faces bribing a trader?

    This could inspire more then trade guilds. We could have newspaper guilds and roleplàys have a wait to make small gold maybe selling newspapers? More interactives are always enjoyed by community.
  • myskyrim26
    myskyrim26
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    MattT1988 wrote: »
    What the hell is all this?

    As the title says, a newspaper. Pretty accurate and vivid for things happening in 2E 582. I'd love to receive them in-game!
  • MattT1988
    MattT1988
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    myskyrim26 wrote: »
    MattT1988 wrote: »
    What the hell is all this?

    As the title says, a newspaper. Pretty accurate and vivid for things happening in 2E 582. I'd love to receive them in-game!

    Oh is this a role playing thread? Ok I’ll see myself out then.
    Edited by MattT1988 on December 17, 2018 6:23AM
  • myskyrim26
    myskyrim26
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    MattT1988 wrote: »
    Oh is this a role playing thread? Ok I’ll see myself out then.
    No! No, wait! Wait! I need to tell you something!






    I did some role playing, too!


  • Catsmoke14
    Catsmoke14
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    More from the police blotter, this time the Alinor Superior Tribune:

    A Khajiit variously known as Alqit or Alqit "the Cunning" is being sought on suspicion of petty theft, grand theft - music box, impersonating an agent of the Divine Prosecution, impersonating a "Tank", bank fraud, operating an unlicensed brothel, and diverse crown store gifting scams.

    The suspect is a tiger striped male of medium build and height with an irritating Breton accent.

    Alqit's three wives were apprehended and brought before Justiciar Earwineriel of the Divine Prosecution but little evidence was gathered as a cat fight erupted. Procedures related to witness interrogation are being reviewed.

    The accused felon remains at large and is to be considered armed but not particularly dangerous.
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