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When guild mates go bad
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paulychan✭✭✭✭It's ok. My magsorc runs dest mastery and IA. People say "oh that's a horrible build" then I melt stuff and they look down at their junk and see how small it is4 -
Tan9oSuccka✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭GusTheWizard wrote: »You could’ve just said politely that you like your build and you’re not changing it, if he leaves that’s his problem but he could’ve just said okay that’s fine, you never know what could happen when you’re polite.
I have given advice to many people men and women and it’s usually well received by guys but 70% of the women think I’m “mansplaining” to them all the things wrong with their build (the only reason I have to give them advice is because I’m the raid leader in my guild) if you don’t want advice just tell him, don’t just assume he’s “mansplaining” to you because you’re a girl he could just be trying to help you because you’re a guild mate
I’m really done with these posts with women womensplaining all the things that guys do to them that are wrong, get over yourself.
Mansplaining is a thing. I’ve heard it, and most guys don’t even know they do it.
I see it every day at work and yes, even in the game.12 -
mairwen85✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭GusTheWizard wrote: »You could’ve just said politely that you like your build and you’re not changing it, if he leaves that’s his problem but he could’ve just said okay that’s fine, you never know what could happen when you’re polite.
I have given advice to many people men and women and it’s usually well received by guys but 70% of the women think I’m “mansplaining” to them all the things wrong with their build (the only reason I have to give them advice is because I’m the raid leader in my guild) if you don’t want advice just tell him, don’t just assume he’s “mansplaining” to you because you’re a girl he could just be trying to help you because you’re a guild mate
I’m really done with these posts with women womensplaining all the things that guys do to them that are wrong, get over yourself.
I have taken much advice over the years, from men and women. I've rarely been spoken about (not to) in the 3rd person when in a conversation -- regardless. This thread is not about sexist attitudes, any reference to that aspect has been removed by the mods, let's not go back over that.
The point is that you are absolutely right, and your attitude is on point. But there are people, who assume that because they have read or heard something, they have the right to dismiss all else and impose their views.
That's not what you are doing, but there are people who do this -- never mind the gender of the person they press their critique and information on.Edited by mairwen85 on December 4, 2018 4:05PM0 -
Bouldercleave✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭I HIGHLY welcome any and all constructive criticism with anyone that I group with.
Which is why I run solo 100% of the time. That way I'm always my own worst enemy...5 -
Trinity_Is_My_Name✭✭✭✭✭
✭Interesting...I swear I saw this EXACT scenario recently on a Console Streamer on Twitch. The Streamer was a Mag Sorc using dual Inferno Staves. I don't remember his gear but I can tell you he was destroying everything in Vet Mazzatun. He and the Tank were the last one standing on boss fights most of the time.
So the Tank decides to lecture the Sorc Streamer about him using Inferno staves on his Mag Sorc. This was in open voice on the PS4 so everyone could hear (he probably should have turned that off his Stream).
I swear what you described is what happened to this guy and he was doing most of the damage and staying alive while the others could not. Strange how some can lock on to a belief and still believe they are correct when their own eyes just saw how the Mag Sorc performed over and over.
Short end of it was the other DPS left the group at Xal-Nur boss blaming this Mag Sorc for inadequate DPS when it was just the other way around. So the Streamer is wearing a Dro Mathra (spelling...sorry guys) skin and he invites another Dro Mathra skin wearer in that he runs Trials with. They continue the dungeon destroying everything easily in Vet. Tank guy never admitted he was incorrect.
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DMuehlhausen✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭Good on you.
I enjoy being laughed at as a Nord Magplar Healer. It shuts them up when they get their no death speed run and never really dropped below 90% health.1 -
Danksta✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭GusTheWizard wrote: »You could’ve just said politely that you like your build and you’re not changing it, if he leaves that’s his problem but he could’ve just said okay that’s fine, you never know what could happen when you’re polite.
I have given advice to many people men and women and it’s usually well received by guys but 70% of the women think I’m “mansplaining” to them all the things wrong with their build (the only reason I have to give them advice is because I’m the raid leader in my guild) if you don’t want advice just tell him, don’t just assume he’s “mansplaining” to you because you’re a girl he could just be trying to help you because you’re a guild mate
I’m really done with these posts with women womensplaining all the things that guys do to them that are wrong, get over yourself.
I see no need to be polite to someone that suggests Silks of the Sun for a Mag Sorc. The guy clearly has no business giving advice yet is giving it to people that aren't asking for it. Now I'm someone that has no problem giving advice to people about their builds but if you're going to do that you should know if that person wants your advice, you should know at least basics for builds (not just regurgitating something you read/heard), you should know how the build applies to the content the person is doing, and so on.
Now your situation as a raid lead is different. I've been in that position before and people will run what I tell them to or I'll find someone else that will. But for a random guildie to run pledges with, there's no need for that. Not everyone is interested in min/maxing and it's not needed to complete any content in this game.BawKinTackWarDs PS4/NA3 -
starkerealm✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Clearly someone has been reading alcastHq and misinterpreted the word beginner; whereas there it is used to mean 'not farmed from a trial', my guildie decided it meant trash
People misreading and misinterperting @Alcast seems to be a theme. The guys who were running Acuity + Mother's Sorrow still crack me up.2 -
Hoolielulu✭✭✭✭✭starkerealm wrote: »
People misreading and misinterperting @Alcast seems to be a theme.
Hm. Maybe I'm one of those people. On my main I've worked to follow those builds for my stamblade and I guess they've been satisfactory...though I've been winging it with my magDK (in fact I don't even know what his hodgepodge consists of off the top of my head) and his strength has been surprising. He takes down bosses faster than my main, which I admit does make me sad. I want to start breaking her out of her mold but I'm stuck in the mindset that she HAS to be an Alcast build.0 -
Chicharron✭✭✭✭✭
✭starkerealm wrote: »Clearly someone has been reading alcastHq and misinterpreted the word beginner; whereas there it is used to mean 'not farmed from a trial', my guildie decided it meant trash
People misreading and misinterperting @Alcast seems to be a theme. The guys who were running Acuity + Mother's Sorrow still crack me up.
Totally.
Every now and then someone asks me:
random dungeoun guy: Your healer is very good, what Alcast guide did you use?
me: ...
virtual or real, i hate sheep.4 -
xxthir13enxx✭✭✭✭✭
✭Tan9oSuccka wrote: »GusTheWizard wrote: »You could’ve just said politely that you like your build and you’re not changing it, if he leaves that’s his problem but he could’ve just said okay that’s fine, you never know what could happen when you’re polite.
I have given advice to many people men and women and it’s usually well received by guys but 70% of the women think I’m “mansplaining” to them all the things wrong with their build (the only reason I have to give them advice is because I’m the raid leader in my guild) if you don’t want advice just tell him, don’t just assume he’s “mansplaining” to you because you’re a girl he could just be trying to help you because you’re a guild mate
I’m really done with these posts with women womensplaining all the things that guys do to them that are wrong, get over yourself.
Mansplaining is a thing. I’ve heard it, and most guys don’t even know they do it.
I see it every day at work and yes, even in the game.
Heh yes I’ve witnessed a few of the scenarios and the best example was a friend of mine working in the Oilfield...she works with Hydraulic Pumps n such and is in her late 20’s. She came to a service call in the field and the Consultant went on a rant explaining to her how the pump was under performing and how she needed to fix it by doing such n such with the timing on n on. And every time she tried to cut in on the convo...he’d just go off again...so she waited patiently while he told her how to do her job n finally he looks at her n says ..well you better get to it...time is money...
She just says “ya sounds like your such n such valves not fully open...” walks over...opens valve there ya go...
They had closed it to fix a leak and never fully opened it back up...
Best part...as part of her billing is a Service Report.
Problem : Hydraulic Pump underperforming
Solution : Open Valve
Tools Used : Hand
Charge : $1000+ dollars...
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Jameliel✭✭✭✭✭
✭There's always that one dude who wants to tell you what you should run. If they love their ideas so much, they should run it themselves and leave it at that.0 -
Curtdogg47✭✭✭✭Anyone that starts handing out advice when no one aske for it, is most likely full of ***! Or simply just regurgitating crap some streamer or youtuber who they feel is the only source for builds said!
Respect to you for being a woman and a gamer! seriously I don't know how you ladies put up with some of the creeps and *** in this game! And most of you tend to do handle it with more class than most of us could muster up!
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Kilnerdyne✭✭✭✭✭Look mommy! I had a unconstructive social experience & have come to the forums to black sheep someone in the hopes of gathering sympathy to make me feel better!
Salt, is a way of life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KquFZYi6L0 3 -
Radiance✭✭✭✭✭
✭I try to take it as Constructive Criticism especially when I see someone outperforming me.
I am usually reluctant to lead but as I am max CP and run Random Normal Dungeons on my alts, I have taken more of a leadership/ coaching role, I try to teach mechs to prepare the nubs for Vet dungeons and basic role mechanics like Blocking and taunting for tanks, Orbs for healers etc. Sometimes people are wearing Heavy armor or something that doesn't compliment their Attribute Build or something very simply fixed or that they should really know or be made aware of it they don't...
When people offer me insights, I don't always immediately act on them but still take note of them. I'm usually just too lazy to go collect a new set that may not work as well for me... Which is really just me being too pig-headed to learn a new, sometimes better way to do things because I already know mine works...1 -
GusTheWizard✭✭✭✭
Mansplaining is a thing to the point womansplaining is...Tan9oSuccka wrote: »
Mansplaining is a thing. I’ve heard it, and most guys don’t even know they do it.
I see it every day at work and yes, even in the game.
In fact you’re womansplaining to me right now about what mansplaining is, I know what “mansplaining” is. But in the future let’s just say one person is explaining to another person and avoid this whole argument.Edited by GusTheWizard on December 4, 2018 5:26PM8 -
starkerealm✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Chicharron wrote: »starkerealm wrote: »Clearly someone has been reading alcastHq and misinterpreted the word beginner; whereas there it is used to mean 'not farmed from a trial', my guildie decided it meant trash
People misreading and misinterperting @Alcast seems to be a theme. The guys who were running Acuity + Mother's Sorrow still crack me up.
Totally.
Every now and then someone asks me:
random dungeoun guy: Your healer is very good, what Alcast guide did you use?
me: ...
virtual or real, i hate sheep.
It's even funnier if you know that healing is not his thing. If I remember correctly, he, only started healing because he was tired of getting fake healers in PUGs.0 -
Inarre✭✭✭✭✭
✭I find quite often it's the people who insist on offering unsolicited advice actually are the ones that have absolutely no clue and shouldn't be giving advice at all......
Your "friend" falls into this group quite neatly.1 -
starkerealm✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Hoolielulu wrote: »starkerealm wrote: »
People misreading and misinterperting @Alcast seems to be a theme.
Hm. Maybe I'm one of those people. On my main I've worked to follow those builds for my stamblade and I guess they've been satisfactory...though I've been winging it with my magDK (in fact I don't even know what his hodgepodge consists of off the top of my head) and his strength has been surprising. He takes down bosses faster than my main, which I admit does make me sad. I want to start breaking her out of her mold but I'm stuck in the mindset that she HAS to be an Alcast build.
Legitimately, Alcast's builds have a very high skill floor. NBs have an insane skill ceiling. Combine that, and you have a class that is extremely hard to run, from a builder who specializes in high skill builds. No shame if it's underperforming for you.
To be fair, I'm taking about the guys who skim his builds, and try to copy them without actually reading (or understanding) how it works.2 -
mairwen85✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭@GusTheWizard
I don't want to derail this thread, but there is a difference. Mansplaining is quite different to explaining. There is a tone and verbosity to it that men don't use when explaining or clarifying information to other men. I'm sure the same is likely true of 'womansplaining' in your experience.
Not all men do it, and it's rarely done with intentional malice or patronising intent. As a woman who works in the tech industry, a male dominated industry, I encounter it often enough to know the difference. Its one of those funny differences between our genders we can and should laugh about. Just as my original use of it was not meant to offend, but did apparently....
But, again, that aspect of this discussion has been removed from the context, and I don't fancy the trouble going over it again will create, nor the attitudes that will attract. I apologise for bringing that subtext into the thread in the beggining. It's gone, let's move on.
Sorry to womansplain
Edited by mairwen85 on December 4, 2018 5:44PM4 -
idk✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Silks of the Sun on a magsorc *facepalm* that guy truly cant teach you anything.
If someone comes up to me and tells me what to do in an online game unless I ask them specifically for advice -> /ignore and move on.
I would have to say this since Silks only affects fire abilities and Sorcs cannot be all fire. BSW affects all abilities equally.
Also, Jullianos is not a bad set. The difference between it and BiS is fairly narrow.
The person that was lecturing you has no clue.0 -
Abigail✭✭✭✭✭From another time in my life, long ago, there were two kinds of people in my world -- dirtbags and d.ouche.bags. The dirtbags were the ones living the life 24/7; but there were always d.ouche.bags around, they liked talking about it and especially loved dispensing advice, you just never found them roped in.Edited by Abigail on December 4, 2018 5:56PM1
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starkerealm✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Silks of the Sun on a magsorc *facepalm* that guy truly cant teach you anything.
If someone comes up to me and tells me what to do in an online game unless I ask them specifically for advice -> /ignore and move on.
I would have to say this since Silks only affects fire abilities and Sorcs cannot be all fire. BSW affects all abilities equally.
Also, Jullianos is not a bad set. The difference between it and BiS is fairly narrow.
The person that was lecturing you has no clue.
There is no BiS in ESO, and this topic kinda proves that point.
Silks (and the other mono-damage sets) only really excell when you're sticking to just that damage type. The mono-skill line sets are, almost universally worse. Juli and Hunding's do not care. They'll always deliver. This means they work in far more situations, and offer much more flexibility. There is no mono-damage set that would benefit the build in this case. The damage sources and types are mixed. For that setup, Juli is probably the best choice in the game.
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Rake✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭guildie badmouth you to its friend so u come here and do the same but with entire forum. Cool story, bro4 -
therift✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭mairwen85 wrote: »
"Clearly someone has been reading alcastHq and misinterpreted the word beginner; whereas there it is used to mean 'not farmed from a trial', my guildie decided it meant trash"
An awful lot of people behave as if Alcast founded a new religion with himself as head, even though he frequently states his advice is nothing more than his (experience-based) opinion.
For the Disciples of Alcast, everything that passes his lips is added to the Gospel. To doubt, to contradict, or to interpret differently is heresy.
Avoid these people like a contagious skin disease.
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This discussion has been closed.