Called An Elitist

Pele · June 2017

KochDerDamonen wrote: »

Jeremy wrote: »

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

I understand you meant well but... don't give advice to someone who hasn't asked for it.
Even if they truly need it.

(I just gave you an advice that you haven't asked for and... well, there's a good chance you're not happy about it. Which demonstrates its validity.)

That's good advice, not to give advice unless it's asked for. It's a wise sentiment and we'd all get along better if we followed it. Which is why I never attempt to tell others how to play or what skills they should slot unless they first ask me for my opinion. Otherwise you run the risk of coming off as a jerk.

I will explain the basics of fight if it looks like the group is new and doesn't understand how it works. But that's where it ends.

@Jeremy Orrrr I care more about my groupmates learning, and our ability to enjoy the run, than whether I 'come off as a jerk'

Offense is taken, not given. I'm not an elitist, no matter how many times I get called it for informing my tank that bow spells deal more damage than light attacks.

You're not an elitist. What posters here are trying to tell you is not everyone thinks like you. So, while you might think that imparting your wisdom upon the your pugmates makes a fun run, your pugmates will see you as know-it-all smart aleck elitist instead of the helpful guy you're trying to be.

I've never been called an elitist, and I explain so much that I have macros to copy/paste mechanics into chat. The difference between you and I is I never give advice or instruction unless I'm asked for it or the run is going terribly wrong. In the latter case, it helps that I'm usually the tank, I know my stuff, and my performance speaks way more than anything I could say, so inexperienced players listen when I give advice or mechanics instructions. When I give instructions this way, players aren't offended even though they didn't ask because the advice I gave got us through the run, and I often get asked after the run for more tips and advice.

KochDerDamonen · June 2017

F7sus4 wrote: »

agingerinohio wrote: »

How many times have you been called an elitist?

I'm CP 559 and have been called an elitist 3 times in the past two weeks. Why? For simply explaining mechanics that people are so blatantly trying to ignore.

Good that you're learning how does it look from the other side. Usually it's noobs compaining at the forums about "elitists" that they tell how to play (like... how rude of them to explain s#!t, isn't it?).

Doesn't happen often but apparently people can get offended by random forms of "elitism":
People bringing PvP builds to dungeons with the "leet attitude" about how PvE content is for "shrugs" only to be dying constantly to "non-intelligent" AI (ironically) and providing 10k DPS.

Haha, by the gods. My first DSA run, friend invites a DPS who proceeds to try and bomb mob waves like he was 1vXing then *** and moans about me being an Argonian(way before more recent racials, only had healing received and such) after he dies three times. Insists on inviting his breton friend to heal (while I take over tanking for another friend who was tired of their ***), who proceeds to spam mutagen and battle prayer exclusively. Of course the PvP-DPS never once complains about the stamina they're clearing constantly running out of during this time from lack of shards, and I'm just laughing my ass off.

Huyen · June 2017

I'm nowhere near the elitist player, I'm just an average joe in the game. But last night I got thanked for carrrying a group through normal Imperial City Prison...thats a first for me....There is still hope for Nirn!

adriant1978 · June 2017

Prof_Bawbag wrote: »

From my experience, some people who think they're very courteous when explaining stuff and how it actually comes over is usually two completely different things.

Definitely this. While we weren't there and have no way of knowing whether the OP came off as condescending or the other person was just thin-skinned, as a general rule being skilled at doing something doesn't automatically make you skilled in teaching it to others.

Beardimus · June 2017

It's about perception. Everyone plays for varying reasons, people.dont understand those reasons, and get narky.

Not everyone wants to plough thru content at high speed, not everyone wants to copy some streamers meta build and make it easy.

It's a game, people can choose to play how they want. And those suffering expectations generally rub each other up.

Even on this thread those defending you go on about DPS figure minimums and what is and isn't possible. Some people don't care, they just enjoy a chilled game time. In those conflicts someone telling you what you must or must not do. Or get this skill or get this gear is annoying if people haven't asked for help.....

Cage_Lizardman · June 2017

I've been called a *** in a random vet dungeon for (far too politely) suggesting that people might want to stick to normal if they can't do 10k dps.

That kind of thing does make me feel like I want to exterminate random ethnic groups, so I guess they were right.

The Uninvited · June 2017

Jeremy wrote: »

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

I understand you meant well but... don't give advice to someone who hasn't asked for it.
Even if they truly need it.

(I just gave you an advice that you haven't asked for and... well, there's a good chance you're not happy about it. Which demonstrates its validity.)

That's good advice, not to give advice unless it's asked for. It's a wise sentiment and we'd all get along better if we followed it. Which is why I never attempt to tell others how to play or what skills they should slot unless they first ask me for my opinion. Otherwise you run the risk of coming off as a jerk.

I will explain the basics of fight if it looks like the group is new and doesn't understand how it works. But that's where it ends.

In a game perhaps, but in real life not giving advice unless it's asked for would get a lot of people killed.

Imagine someone wanting to cross the street and he/she doesn't see a car coming. Oh, too bad they got run over because they didn't ask for advice...

Voxicity · June 2017

Meh, the word elitist has pretty much lost it's meaning in this game. I've been called an elitist many times simply because of my cp level, skins, pvp rank etc. But I'm actually a really calm and casual guy who just plays the game for fun with my wife.

blnchk · June 2017

Manners maketh man and mer, no? Goes for unexperienced players as well as old stagers.

Ballzy321 · June 2017

chances are u came off like a ***. but I wanna know why it bothered u so much to write a forum post about it. Sticks and stones buddy

gepe87 · June 2017

For me an elitist are those guys who blame pugs on pvp, saying that we are trash and to get a guild. Not everyone is able to be on a guild, many with strict rules, language barriers and little patient for new players.

I wish I could do some dung's with you

Some mechanics i still don't get it, and more than half of vet dung I can't complete. Certainly you are not elitist.

Illurian · June 2017

I'm at about the same CP as you are but I haven't been called an elitist yet. When I pug and come to a more complicated boss, I usually start off by asking if everyone knows the mechanics. If I get no response, I always say "it's fine if you don't, but just let me know so I can explain it". I've often had people respond after that saying that they'd appreciate an explanation of the mechanics.

Sometimes I still get no response, so we just start and see how it goes. If we wipe due to mechanics, I explain it regardless.

robvs · June 2017

Surround yourself with other elitist and your problem will be solved.

theher0not · June 2017

Never as far as I can recall.

I will sometimes explain mechanics that I feel like most people are unaware of (or ones that I was unware of the first time I did the dung/trial), but most people I run into seem to not mind it.

Wifeaggro13 · June 2017

agingerinohio wrote: »

How many times have you been called an elitist?

I'm CP 559 and have been called an elitist 3 times in the past two weeks. Why? For simply explaining mechanics that people are so blatantly trying to ignore. Mind you I am very polite each time, I don't mind helping new players learn because I was once there. 2 times in a dungeon on my healer, one of which I had to tank and dd because the rest of the group was incapable to either hold taunt or stop light attacking with bows (vet Blessed Crucible and yes it was pug), another pug vet dungeon trying to explain mechanics and a trial from today. No one knew the mechanics in nMoL and were running around accidentally killing one another. Near full wipe but we managed to res.

Am I to expect this now that I am getting closer to CP cap? Which I still have far to go.... I know people are going to suggest trying guilds for raids and dungeons, but most of the time everyone is already busy or just don't do anything.

most of the end game population moved on from ESO. the ones that exist are isolationists sticking to their small cores. ESO is on its 4 th or 5th population flush maybe more. What makes it worse is those VR dungeons are nothing compared to what they once were in diffculty . the millenials have taken over MMO's lol and corporate america has taken over the development of MMO's .

agingerinohio · June 2017

Tasear wrote: »

never though sometimes... I think my ego's a bit big... but usually deflates before anyone feels my inner monologue.

Maybe you guys... need a warmer touch or a... woman's touch? Maybe it's because I always pick the healer role. People tend to listen to me and work together. At last maybe I simply have more charisma then you

Seriously though, sure sometimes things can go right without a single word, but when things go wrong it's up to someone aka the leader to figure out what to do. On regards to good leadership, it's about how you timing of your advice, feeling of your advice (tone of words), and genuine knowledge or experience.

Random Dungeon Tips

Sometimes you have to know when time and reward isn't worth it, know when to walk away and how to politely say goodbye

There's only a few dugeons that can not be done with bad dps.

There's usually tactics and a burn method for each boss.

Aggro the shield and sword, 2 hander as tank

Dps kill the archers first

Compliment team mates, good fight, good dps, good revcovery, good save, thank you

Be nice, even when things don't work out... who knows you might meet again .

Have fun, when you aren't having fun then walk away

Press x for synergies

floating orbs give you health, magicka or stamina

Synergies can be used every 20 secs.

I am a woman and generally do go with healer role in dungeons. Lol. Sometimes I feel like a cheerleader in the background thowing out heals and buffs with the occasional "good job everyone!" And will even do the occasional cheer emote. It's a nice change up from the occasional bit of negativity that can arise in pugs.

agingerinohio · June 2017

F7sus4 wrote: »

agingerinohio wrote: »

How many times have you been called an elitist?

I'm CP 559 and have been called an elitist 3 times in the past two weeks. Why? For simply explaining mechanics that people are so blatantly trying to ignore.

Good that you're learning how does it look from the other side. Usually it's noobs compaining at the forums about "elitists" that they tell how to play (like... how rude of them to explain s#!t, isn't it?).

Doesn't happen often but apparently people can get offended by random forms of "elitism":
DD standing in red AoE getting 1-shotted. Blamed "elitist" healer that tells him to move away and that 1-shots are impossible to heal and should be avoided instead. DD leaves group and trash-talks the healer on priv.

Fake-tank in Medium Armor with 2-hander and DW. vCOS pug. After being told that this isn't going to work he goes with STFU etc. and votes to kick the "elitist" healer who dared to notice him.

People bringing PvP builds to dungeons with the "leet attitude" about how PvE content is for "shrugs" only to be dying constantly to "non-intelligent" AI (ironically) and providing 10k DPS.

And fake-healers being DDs that slot backbar Restoration Staff with Mutagen. If you tell them it's maybe not healing that you want to see, but buff/debuff work, you're likely to earn "elitist" tag.

The list could be longer, but I don't want to waste more of your time and/or trigger TLDR mode.

Yes, everything you listed. Lol. As my healer and DD I have experienced all of the above.

Kali_Despoine · June 2017

An 'Elitist' is someone who thinks that if you don't have BiS gear your just trash.

I was called an elitist once by a Guild Leader while I was setting up a progression group to get them through vet trials.
Which none of them have ever beaten before.
These guys spent months farming for great gear if not BiS.
They all worked on their builds and loadouts so to get the most bang for our buck.
He asked me why he was not invited and I said
"Are you going to go full dps or remain that healer/dps sorc build?
Cause I'm not trying to waste time but teach your guild mates how to do this end game content."
He then proceeded to call me an elitist and a day later blew up on discord.
He also put me in a quagmire rank. lol
I answered this by leaving his guild and joining an end game guild that a friend invited me to months before.
Where it might be 1 or 2 players whom have never run vet trial.
I always try to help out with players who don't know the mechanics.
I have taught a level 10 no cp pug tank how to run WGT so I don't think of myself as an elitist but a realist.

GreenhaloX · June 2017

agingerinohio wrote: »

How many times have you been called an elitist?

I'm CP 559 and have been called an elitist 3 times in the past two weeks. Why? For simply explaining mechanics that people are so blatantly trying to ignore. Mind you I am very polite each time, I don't mind helping new players learn because I was once there. 2 times in a dungeon on my healer, one of which I had to tank and dd because the rest of the group was incapable to either hold taunt or stop light attacking with bows (vet Blessed Crucible and yes it was pug), another pug vet dungeon trying to explain mechanics and a trial from today. No one knew the mechanics in nMoL and were running around accidentally killing one another. Near full wipe but we managed to res.

Am I to expect this now that I am getting closer to CP cap? Which I still have far to go.... I know people are going to suggest trying guilds for raids and dungeons, but most of the time everyone is already busy or just don't do anything.

Nahh, bruh.. you're not an "elitist" simply because you're trying to explain something, mechanics or whatever to others. Doesn't matter what level they are, some could be just hard-headed or stubborn. These are real people, mind you, who brings into this game their real life's personality (or personalities.) Not saying you're doing it, but elitist is just cancerous for this game. They are slamming/bashing others on their setup/build/playstyle and who thinks he or she or their build/setups are better than anyone else. They will taunt, shame or banter on others just to display how good they think they are. Elitist, generally, will not run any dungeon or trial with lower level toons or any toon they feel the setup/build is not up to their specification or liking. They will also, generally, just kick, if they could, any lower level toon on the spot before anything begins while bashing them as well. Well, these are my views, of course, and does not reflect any other good people/gamers of ESO.

DeadlyRecluse · June 2017

Explaining mechanics is the opposite of elitist...

I would describe either kicking people who don't know mechanics or insisting on burning past mechanics rather than playing them as elitist.

Explaining mechanics, unless you come across as condescending, just seems normal. I know when I start a dungeon with one or more people I haven't run with before, I tend to ask if everyone knows the fights, I'll throw a quick and dirty explanation in chat while we clear the last couple trash packs before each boss, if necessary. I'll only get more detailed if we wipe a few times.

agingerinohio · June 2017

GreenhaloX wrote: »

agingerinohio wrote: »

How many times have you been called an elitist?

I'm CP 559 and have been called an elitist 3 times in the past two weeks. Why? For simply explaining mechanics that people are so blatantly trying to ignore. Mind you I am very polite each time, I don't mind helping new players learn because I was once there. 2 times in a dungeon on my healer, one of which I had to tank and dd because the rest of the group was incapable to either hold taunt or stop light attacking with bows (vet Blessed Crucible and yes it was pug), another pug vet dungeon trying to explain mechanics and a trial from today. No one knew the mechanics in nMoL and were running around accidentally killing one another. Near full wipe but we managed to res.

Am I to expect this now that I am getting closer to CP cap? Which I still have far to go.... I know people are going to suggest trying guilds for raids and dungeons, but most of the time everyone is already busy or just don't do anything.

Nahh, bruh.. you're not an "elitist" simply because you're trying to explain something, mechanics or whatever to others. Doesn't matter what level they are, some could be just hard-headed or stubborn. These are real people, mind you, who brings into this game their real life's personality (or personalities.) Not saying you're doing it, but elitist is just cancerous for this game. They are slamming/bashing others on their setup/build/playstyle and who thinks he or she or their build/setups are better than anyone else. They will taunt, shame or banter on others just to display how good they think they are. Elitist, generally, will not run any dungeon or trial with lower level toons or any toon they feel the setup/build is not up to their specification or liking. They will also, generally, just kick, if they could, any lower level toon on the spot before anything begins while bashing them as well. Well, these are my views, of course, and does not reflect any other good people/gamers of ESO.

The only time I have asked someone what gear they were wearing was a very squishy "tank" with low hp. He said he was wearing the defiler set and didn't know what he should wear. He appreciated my suggestions thankfully. I also run with lower levels all the time. More times that not it's a good experience and we all have fun.

DjMuscleboy02 · June 2017

Depends on the environment. 9/10 I couldn't care less about wiping but that doesn't mean I won't laugh about it if I see someone doing some stupid ***.

Axoinus · June 2017

agingerinohio wrote: »

How many times have you been called an elitist?

I'm CP 559 and have been called an elitist 3 times in the past two weeks. Why? For simply explaining mechanics that people are so blatantly trying to ignore. Mind you I am very polite each time, I don't mind helping new players learn because I was once there. 2 times in a dungeon on my healer, one of which I had to tank and dd because the rest of the group was incapable to either hold taunt or stop light attacking with bows (vet Blessed Crucible and yes it was pug), another pug vet dungeon trying to explain mechanics and a trial from today. No one knew the mechanics in nMoL and were running around accidentally killing one another. Near full wipe but we managed to res.

Am I to expect this now that I am getting closer to CP cap? Which I still have far to go.... I know people are going to suggest trying guilds for raids and dungeons, but most of the time everyone is already busy or just don't do anything.

ESO is a pretty complex game and has a high number of casuals. How things work in ESO, can get overwhelming. I remember a lot of stuff sounding liker gibberish when I first started. Also, just to explain the mechanics requires an understanding of jargon that a lot of new players don't have. Understanding the mechanics does not instantly making you good at executing on them.

So keep I mind...you might just be an elitist.

josiahva · June 2017

Never that I can recall and I pug Vet DLC dungeons daily. So much in fact that I have a prepared script for every important boss that explains the mechanics.

LiquidPony · June 2017

Just about any time I bring up the words "target skeleton" or "DPS test" on the forums I get called an elitist, or toxic, or something worse.

Tasear · June 2017

agingerinohio wrote: »

Tasear wrote: »

never though sometimes... I think my ego's a bit big... but usually deflates before anyone feels my inner monologue.

Maybe you guys... need a warmer touch or a... woman's touch? Maybe it's because I always pick the healer role. People tend to listen to me and work together. At last maybe I simply have more charisma then you

Seriously though, sure sometimes things can go right without a single word, but when things go wrong it's up to someone aka the leader to figure out what to do. On regards to good leadership, it's about how you timing of your advice, feeling of your advice (tone of words), and genuine knowledge or experience.

Random Dungeon Tips

Sometimes you have to know when time and reward isn't worth it, know when to walk away and how to politely say goodbye

There's only a few dugeons that can not be done with bad dps.

There's usually tactics and a burn method for each boss.

Aggro the shield and sword, 2 hander as tank

Dps kill the archers first

Compliment team mates, good fight, good dps, good revcovery, good save, thank you

Be nice, even when things don't work out... who knows you might meet again .

Have fun, when you aren't having fun then walk away

Press x for synergies

floating orbs give you health, magicka or stamina

Synergies can be used every 20 secs.

I am a woman and generally do go with healer role in dungeons. Lol. Sometimes I feel like a cheerleader in the background thowing out heals and buffs with the occasional "good job everyone!" And will even do the occasional cheer emote. It's a nice change up from the occasional bit of negativity that can arise in pugs.

haha, o.O I feel like this sometimes too.

We deserve a

P.S Thanks for getting my sense of humor.

Riptide · June 2017

You know, I've been playing these games from the get. I was a beta tester for Ultima Online to give an idea. Been in so many groups and dungeons that I'm embarassed. And I mean, I'm direct to the point of brash - and will poke fun of anyone, and do. I've lived years at a time on pvp only servers, minmax like mad, etc. I get playing hard.

I don't recall one time, ever, being called an elitist. Or being kicked from a group. Oh some forum warrior may have hinted at it here and there but its silly. I help people. I'll laugh at them, but I'll stop, take some time, and then laugh at us both together.

You gotta be cool, else what the heck is all this for? Save your most serious side for when you are on the clock.

Thinking about it, I don't think I've ever once initiated a vote to kick anyone from a group - in any game in my life. Its just funny even the most wackadoo of people. Sometimes its the most funny

anitajoneb17_ESO · June 2017

The Uninvited wrote: »

Jeremy wrote: »

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

I understand you meant well but... don't give advice to someone who hasn't asked for it.
Even if they truly need it.

(I just gave you an advice that you haven't asked for and... well, there's a good chance you're not happy about it. Which demonstrates its validity.)

That's good advice, not to give advice unless it's asked for. It's a wise sentiment and we'd all get along better if we followed it. Which is why I never attempt to tell others how to play or what skills they should slot unless they first ask me for my opinion. Otherwise you run the risk of coming off as a jerk.

I will explain the basics of fight if it looks like the group is new and doesn't understand how it works. But that's where it ends.

In a game perhaps, but in real life not giving advice unless it's asked for would get a lot of people killed.

Imagine someone wanting to cross the street and he/she doesn't see a car coming. Oh, too bad they got run over because they didn't ask for advice...

Giving advice in real life without being asked to is exactly as hurtful and useless as it is in a game - even though, as you mention, i may have further consequences. People who aren't ready to listen will not listen, it's as simple as that.
Many people die from smoking in spite of having been bombarded with "advice" about it on a daily basis for all their lives
Many people die in a car crash because they did not listen to their friends telling them they'd had too much to drink and they should sleep on the couch or take a cab home.
The planet is dying (and humankind along with it) in spite of countless people telling the world all the time to produce less and consume less.
And so on.

That's for useful and appropriate advice, but there's also useless and inappropriate "advice".
How would/do you react if a perfectly stranger in the street gives you "advice" on how to get dressed properly and assort colors ?
How would/do you react if a colleague explains you how to "work better", without you having asked anything ?

Giving advice without being asked may be a dilemma in rather rare situations where something important is at stake, but otherwise, it's really better to hold off. Especially in a video game, since nothing is important in a video game.

uzbachchi · June 2017

Never been called one once. I don't tell other people how to play. If they don't know mechanics or if they queued as a tank or healer without actually tanking or healing and we start wiping all over the place, I'll just leave and queue for a different dungeon.

The one time I said something to a healer that wasn't healing, they told me not to draw aggro. Kinda hard not to when the tank isn't tanking and the boss keeps coming after me as the DPS doing the most damage. So I left them there and found another group.

I'm not going to aggravate myself by trying to explain stuff to people that don't care to listen.

Kurkikohtaus · June 2017

Kali_Despoine wrote: »

An 'Elitist' is someone who thinks that if you don't have BiS gear your just trash.

While there are jerks in the game as those described above, more often than not I have seen the flipside of this issue. An elitist is what scrubs call players who are:

higher cp
geared
know the tactics
point out flaws when the group encounters problems

In-group chat in the middle of a dungeon run is not a medium that is conducive to getting to know someone, having a pleasant chat and perhaps working out a strategy to meet the end-goal, all the while not hurting the entitled sensitivities of the scrub.

Dying by standing in red or ignoring a crucial boss mechanic? I will point it out.
Using a bow with mostly light attacks with no other weapon equipped? I will point it out.
Sub cp160 on a dungeon that requires high dps? (CoA II, Darkshade 2 ...) I will point it out

I will not be rude or belittle you, but I will succinctly point out the problem and the possible solutions. If the person is a noob (in the desirable sense), he will WANT to learn and will take the comments as intended. If the person is a scrub, he is already playing with a pre-installed set of failure-alibis to begin with and will call you elitist no matter how you phrase your concerns.