Scenes from a pug OR "It's all about me!"

GreasyDave · May 2017

So, way back when we had the double xp last month I was running a random dungeon a day when I could. 10 random dungeons. After the third bizarre encounter I started to write them down. I was kind of collecting them. I just reread what was said in group chat today and laughed. If it hadn't been that half of the pugs had some kind of "drama" I wouldn't bother posting. But rereading made me chuckle so I thought I'd share, "The names have been changed to protect the innocent"

Scene 1: nCoA1

DPS1: tank could you slot a taunt.
Tank: silence

after the 3rd Boss is dead and about to finish the fire atro
DPS2: I'm lagging, I'm going to relog, wait for me
DPS1 starts to type: Please don't, we're almost done, I don't have time to wait........

but DPS2 vanishes before he can press return

Tank who has no taunt finishes Fire Atro and heads off to the final two bosses. DPS 1 sighs

The Razor Master dies.

DPS2 relogs

DPS2: What?! You've killed everything! What is wrong with you people? I specifically asked you to wait! What kind of people are you who ignore requests like that?
DPS1starts to type:... you didn't actually ask, you left without waiting for a reply....

but DPS2 has left group

Scene 2: n CoA1

On the Warden of the Shrine, the healer dies
DPS1 rezzes him. Tank is down. Boss is at 20 percent. Faster to finish BOss than rez tank. DPS 1 and DPS2 finish Boss

Tank: *** group
DPS1: What? Why? What's wrong?
Tank: You didn't help me.
DPS1: How? I don't understand. You are a tank, you taunt. We are DD we kill.

silence - group continues through pledge

Razor Master dies
DPS1: Thanks guys, bye.
Tank: ***
DPS1whisper: That wasn't very polite. Could you tell me what was your problem with the group because I thought it was fine?
Tank whisper: I don't talk to narcissists.
DPS1 whisper: Hey mate, you've got me all wrong. I genuinely don't understand. And I'd genuinely like to know what was wrong. Perhaps instead of calling me an *** and a narcissist, you could explain your problem and we could try to understand each other

silence

Scene 3: nWGT

DPS1: tank can you slot a taunt?
TANK: Oh, sorry guys, I forgot. I was on my other toon yesterday, that's why I have both tank and DPS flagged. But this toon can't tank. Kick me if you want.
DPS1:....

Scene 4: nDC2

DPS1: tank can you slot a taunt?
Tank: What? Oh. OK

Healer :...

Before Grubull

DPS1: Wait, quick check, do you guys all understand the mechanics?
Healer: +
DPS 2 and tank: silence

very low dps from the group -DPS1 is contributing 80 percent on Grubull and his flock. With Grubull at 5 percent and after a couple of minutes of "spinning to win" DPS1 runs out of stam and can't break free from one of Grubull's snares. DPS1 isn't healed and dies. Group wipes.

DPS1: Hey Healer, would it be possible for you to throw me some shards towards the end of the fight? I was running out of stam trying to keep the adds down and couldn't break free.
Healer: lol
DPS1: I don't understand. lol - no shards. Or just lol
Healer: You're kidding
DPS1: No, I'm asking politely for shards
silence..waits...still silent
DPS1: Sorry guys, I've been talking politely in group and the healer can only be rude. I'm not interested in spending time with rude people. I'm out of here. Good luck with the dungeon and have fun.

DPS1 leaves group

Healer whisper: I'm sorry you enjoy playing this game
DPS1 whisper: You're right, I do enjoy playing the game and I'm not sorry about it. I am sorry you needed to be rude in chat though. I asked politely.
Healer whisper: The greedy don't always get what they want
DPS1: What? Do you even know what that means?
Healer: yes.
DPS1 ....

Scene 5: nFG2

DPS1: Tank could you slot a taunt.
silence...no taunt
DPS1 leaves group

Scene 6: vCoH1 hm

Tank is taunting red. Blue is running round focused on DPS2. Blue kills DPS2. DPS1 tries to rez DPS2 but is caught by blue. Healer isn't rezzing -busy dodging blue and healing tank

DPS1: (waiting for a rez or the wipe): Hey tank, could I suggest you try taunting the blue? If you taunt him and lead him over to the side out of range of red, we can kill him in peace. Or group them together, I don't mind- just keep him aggroed.
silence
healer dies
tank dies
TANK: pft idiot
DPS1: who me?
TANK: fkn noob!
DPS1: What?
TANK: fkn rez! fkn res scrub!
silence
TANK: fkn noob ruin mi run!

Group rezzes. Tank goes back to taunting red. DPS1, DPS2 and healer concentrate on taking down blue before he kills them

DRXHarbinger · May 2017

Wonder which dps you were in all that lol. Just another day in tamriel by the sounds of it.

Fishoscandi · May 2017

Horrible experience... but it was very funny and fun to read

IronCrystal · May 2017

You clearly have problems with tanks :P

kylewwefan · May 2017

Feels like every bad pug I've ever been a part of.

Healer is prolly laughing at shard request because not a Templar healer.

Even groups with other 600cp have had issues. Likely from them trying to level up skill lines and using wonky ass rotations. In truth, I've done the same thing.

Ran into players that claim food is for wimps. It's bad run or healer because they have to use potions. The guy that spams caltrops and then Bow light attacks. Surprised you didn't see anyone using siege shield.

IronCrystal · May 2017

As far as the shards comment, I've found some healers at lower levels who believe their purpose is to give minimal healing, but also be doing damage as well. So they don't slot abilities like repentance and shards because they aren't good for doing damage in their opinion.

Enslaved · May 2017

I figured it out. OP is a tank.

Magdalina · May 2017

I can share some too XD

Vet WGT, Planar boss, wiped because tank got portals and was light attacking them to death:
"Tank, could you please slot some dps?"
"Sorry bye" *tanks quits group*

Vet DC2, tank is kiting the kwama boss all over the room, hence effectively halving the dps.
Me(magsorc):"Tank, could you please not move the boss out of my dots?"
Tank:"how about I do what I need to tank and u do what u need to dps"
Me:"But I'm a magsorc. Most of my damage comes from ground aoe dots, it means my dps drops like twofold as you move the boss. Besides, there's no need to move it at all"
Tank:"lol it's not a trial buddy no one cares about ur dps"

Vet WGT, Planar, repeated wipes because healer is not closing portals:
Me:"Healer, can you get some dps?"
*silence*
Me:"Healer, you need to focus on killing portals when your screen gets white. You need to slot some dps for that."
*silence*
Me:"Okay, let's try again, and remember, do close the portals"
*wiped to ogrims and stuff because healer never closed the portals again*
Me:"Healer do you speak English?"
*silence*
*tank pulls, try again, portals, wipe*
Me:"Okay I'm sorry but I'll have to call it I'm afraid. Have a good one."
SUDDENLY healer:"Sorry english not my first language"
*me quits group*

Vet WGT, a dps has 14k health
Me:"Dps 1, your health is kinda low, looks like your food is down"
Dps 1:"Pfft this health is enough to complete all the vet trials in this game, not to mention dungeons!"
Me:"Okay, if you say so..."
*dps 1 dies in first 15 seconds of the fight, one shot by the very first boss' aoe*
Dps :"Omg guys so sorry! My food ran out!"
Me:"....but I told you it did..."
Dps:"Yea but I thought you were talking about something else!"

Vet CoA2, Titan boss, a dps has 14k health(a different one

).
Me(healer):"Your health is kind of low for this."
Dps:"I have all gold bis gear and I'm that guy that believes health should not matter for a dps"
Me:"Okay if you say so"
*dps 1 dies in the first 15 seconds of the fight, one shot by the very first boss fire aoe*
Me:"You may want to eat a different food"
*me resses, dps 1 dies again 5 seconds after the res, dps 2 does what looks like a proud ~4k dps, tank is trying to die nonstop(and that's before atros even spawn), atros spawn, we wipe overwhelmed by the damage as no one is killing things*
*dps 1 drops group in proud silence*

Vet Arx, last boss, I notice healer has 13k health:
Me:"Healer, your food seems down"
*silence, tank pulls, healer dies within first 15 seconds, we wipe because it is a pretty heal intensive fight*
Me:"Healer, do you need food? I have some"
*silence, tank pulls, healer dies within 20 seconds, gets ressed, insta dies again, wipe*
Me:"Healer, do you speak English? You really need more health for this"
*silence*
*me gives up, slots Twilight for heals and proceeds*
*pull, healer dies, I heal with Twilight, we eventually make it with healer being perma dead pretty much(every time they got ressed they'd die right after)*
After the fight is over, I try to trade the healer and give them some food thinking maybe they don't speak English but they should understand this, but they decline the trade and say "no ty, I have food in bag". Speechless, I drop the group.

Vet WGT, tank pulls second crem guard(in the corridor where you can skip one and just pull the other) at the same time, dies, other dps dies, me and healer shield and finish them off.
Me:"No reason to pull them all at the same time"
*tank runs off and proceeds to pull both the crem guard and the titan miniboss before Planar boss, dies, wipe*
/facepalm

ofSunhold · May 2017

IronCrystal wrote: »

As far as the shards comment, I've found some healers at lower levels who believe their purpose is to give minimal healing, but also be doing damage as well. So they don't slot abilities like repentance and shards because they aren't good for doing damage in their opinion.

Pity the newbie healer, they get conflicting advice/demands at every turn.

* Dungeons don't really require healers, they're all facerolls, you should DD so we can go faster.
* Your job is to heal, stop trying to DD.
* Your job is to keep the tank alive.
* Stop focusing on the tank.
* Don't res, the DDs should do it, then the tank, never the healer.
* Res is the healer's job.
* Stop buffing and heal, we can buff ourselves better anyway.
* Stop healing and buff, we can heal ourselves just fine.
* Repent as soon as possible
* Repent is for emergencies only
* Don't slot repent unless a stamina DD or tank specifically asks you to

No clue why any heals would be so pissy about a polite request for shards, but I'm sure they think they have a good reason.

Seriously ZOS, make a dungeon tutorial.

Zyrudin · May 2017

I think the real question is how can you run into so much trouble with a group in normal CoA 1, which is one of the easiest dungeons in the game, easier even than some type I dungeons in the alliances first regions?

I think normal CoA I should be used as a sort of template for players who are new to dungeons to try out their roles under guidance. It is almost impossible to mess it up even if the group just has a minimal knowledge of each respective role.

zaria · May 2017

Lol, my pugs has mostly gotten well except a few
Had an tank in nCoA2 who had a one hand sword and nothing in off hand,
that is rare outside the starting island and he was level 42,

Else it has been the weak group in veteran dungeons.

zaria · May 2017

ofSunhold wrote: »

IronCrystal wrote: »

As far as the shards comment, I've found some healers at lower levels who believe their purpose is to give minimal healing, but also be doing damage as well. So they don't slot abilities like repentance and shards because they aren't good for doing damage in their opinion.

Pity the newbie healer, they get conflicting advice/demands at every turn.

* Dungeons don't really require healers, they're all facerolls, you should DD so we can go faster.
* Your job is to heal, stop trying to DD.
* Your job is to keep the tank alive.
* Stop focusing on the tank.
* Don't res, the DDs should do it, then the tank, never the healer.
* Res is the healer's job.
* Stop buffing and heal, we can buff ourselves better anyway.
* Stop healing and buff, we can heal ourselves just fine.
* Repent as soon as possible
* Repent is for emergencies only
* Don't slot repent unless a stamina DD or tank specifically asks you to

No clue why any heals would be so pissy about a polite request for shards, but I'm sure they think they have a good reason.
Seriously ZOS, make a dungeon tutorial.

Lot of this is situation determined, generally healers job is prioritized 1) keep all alive 2) resources and buffs 3) do damage.
So in an setting where group takes lots of damage you don't deal damage as you are busy healing and watching health.
Same with res, you can res if you mostly deal damage, if busy healing DD res.

blacksghost · May 2017

"Seriously ZOS, make a dungeon tutorial."

As someone who has never played any computer games before I too wish someone would make a Dungeon Tutorial, Joe Bloggs (aka the likes of me) often has no real clue what is expected of us. This is why I personally avoid going anywhere with anyone but the guy I started this game with...We might not be getting stuff right but at least no one is around to sneer at us while we do it all so horribly wrong.

Zyrudin · May 2017

blacksghost wrote: »

"Seriously ZOS, make a dungeon tutorial."

As someone who has never played any computer games before I too wish someone would make a Dungeon Tutorial, Joe Bloggs (aka the likes of me) often has no real clue what is expected of us. This is why I personally avoid going anywhere with anyone but the guy I started this game with...We might not be getting stuff right but at least no one is around to sneer at us while we do it all so horribly wrong.

https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/333429/undaunted-academy#latest

ofSunhold · May 2017

blacksghost wrote: »

"Seriously ZOS, make a dungeon tutorial."

As someone who has never played any computer games before I too wish someone would make a Dungeon Tutorial, Joe Bloggs (aka the likes of me) often has no real clue what is expected of us. This is why I personally avoid going anywhere with anyone but the guy I started this game with...We might not be getting stuff right but at least no one is around to sneer at us while we do it all so horribly wrong.

Been there.

I think it sucks that so many people feel this way, and just giving more information is such an easy fix.

We'd all be better off without this sink-or-swim crap.

If you want to do group content, find a nice guild. There are tons of people who've been playing for a while who enjoy helping people figure all of that out.

KingYogi415 · May 2017

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to tank!

Rickter · May 2017

Im going with: "it's all about me"

1. you labelled yourself as "DPS 1" see? put yourself first
2. you called people "mate" thats narcissist 101

Silver_Strider · May 2017

This is why I made my NB capable of every role. I see someone slacking, I switch some things around and get stuff done. Only exceptions being WGT as that's a team effort on Planar Inhibitor and CoS because there isn't enough Git Gud pots in the world to make people understand basic mechanics.

Tasear · May 2017

I have clanfeer for such situations and encase.

:'( why is rough on the pinion boss for most healers

Blackheart is the worst...You can carry as Healer till last boss.

Tasear · May 2017

blacksghost wrote: »

"Seriously ZOS, make a dungeon tutorial."

As someone who has never played any computer games before I too wish someone would make a Dungeon Tutorial, Joe Bloggs (aka the likes of me) often has no real clue what is expected of us. This is why I personally avoid going anywhere with anyone but the guy I started this game with...We might not be getting stuff right but at least no one is around to sneer at us while we do it all so horribly wrong.

Fool! You must speak to the right God's. @ZOS_GinaBruno please... Look at this.

Resipsa131 · May 2017

zaria wrote: »

Lol, my pugs has mostly gotten well except a few
Had an tank in nCoA2 who had a one hand sword and nothing in off hand,
that is rare outside the starting island and he was level 42,

Else it has been the weak group in veteran dungeons.

Challenge accepted, I once tanked Maw of the Internal in Sabatons (because doing it nude would be obscene) but never have a tanked a dungeon without a shield.

What I get annoyed with is the tagging yourself as a tank and then not tanking. Sure you and I can probably roll vWGT with 4 DPS but the level CP100 that have little dungeon knowledge are going to get messed up getting hit by things that ought to be taunted and tanked. You can slot a s/b and taunt things and stay alive if you're that good. I never rage at people that don't understand because typically you can over come those mechanics with people willing to listen but tank slotters are the worst.

Kodrac · May 2017

Magdalina wrote: »

I can share some too XD

/facepalm

LOL This is why I stay as far away from group finder as possible. I don't need keys that badly.

/console

LadyLavina · May 2017

This is why I stopped doing dungeons via group finder (and basically in general). So many people just do whatever they want/disregard what's actually needed/irrationally think they're the best and then get mad/blame the group when things don't work out.

Nestor · May 2017

This is why I group with my Guildmates

LadyLavina · May 2017

Nestor wrote: »

This is why I group with my Guildmates

Indeed. Nestor, wise as always lol

Tommy_The_Gun · May 2017

Ok.. but what did you except ? To find a "good" players via group finder ? xD

Magdalina · May 2017

Tommy_The_Gun wrote: »

Ok.. but what did you except ? To find a "good" players via group finder ? xD

Well it is actualy entirely possible to find good and even great players pugging from boredom, but groups/attitudes like this can only loower their quantity unfortunately. Personally I'd expect 4 people understanding they've entered a group activity and trying to behave accordingly - talk over the strat if they fail, listen to advices, try to pay attention to things they're doing wrong/can do better in order for their group to succeed. Take notes of things like how a 16k person survives where they die with 40k health and try to improve. I'd also expect people to have some very basic understanding of the role they queued for - such as healers to have at least one healing ability sotted, tanks have a taunt and use it to keep agro on boss, dps do damage(ideally aoe on multiple enemies and single target skills on single targets, preferably something more than 5k dps).

But this is not what I expect anymore. At this point I just expect some lulz, and they deliver alright

ParaNostram · May 2017

I've always said, if anything kills this game it'll be toxic players.

vyndral13preub18_ESO · May 2017

zaria wrote: »

ofSunhold wrote: »

IronCrystal wrote: »

As far as the shards comment, I've found some healers at lower levels who believe their purpose is to give minimal healing, but also be doing damage as well. So they don't slot abilities like repentance and shards because they aren't good for doing damage in their opinion.

Pity the newbie healer, they get conflicting advice/demands at every turn.

* Dungeons don't really require healers, they're all facerolls, you should DD so we can go faster.
* Your job is to heal, stop trying to DD.
* Your job is to keep the tank alive.
* Stop focusing on the tank.
* Don't res, the DDs should do it, then the tank, never the healer.
* Res is the healer's job.
* Stop buffing and heal, we can buff ourselves better anyway.
* Stop healing and buff, we can heal ourselves just fine.
* Repent as soon as possible
* Repent is for emergencies only
* Don't slot repent unless a stamina DD or tank specifically asks you to

No clue why any heals would be so pissy about a polite request for shards, but I'm sure they think they have a good reason.
Seriously ZOS, make a dungeon tutorial.

Lot of this is situation determined, generally healers job is prioritized 1) keep all alive 2) resources and buffs 3) do damage.
So in an setting where group takes lots of damage you don't deal damage as you are busy healing and watching health.
Same with res, you can res if you mostly deal damage, if busy healing DD res.

Really I think this is why a lot of pugs fail. Because this isn't just a healer thing. Everyone in the group needs to adjust to what the group is doing. And in most fail pugs people would rather fight about it, then adjust and get it done.

Phinix1 · May 2017

I agree, there is something really strange with this game and the random finder. Tanks almost NEVER taunt, and there are more derpers than in WoW's random dungeon finder and that game is for cartoon cows!

Maybe you are playing during "digital daycare" hours?

EDIT: This is not about simply not knowing dungeon mechanics either. I always happily explain those. This is about people refusing to respond in chat, queuing as tank then not tanking, or healer and not healing, or just spamming light attack and not using any abilities, or dying to the same thing more than 10 times in a row when people have politely explained mechanics and they can't even bother to type anything in chat.

Politeness goes both ways.

Bouldercleave · May 2017

GreasyDave wrote: »

So, way back when we had the double xp last month I was running a random dungeon a day when I could. 10 random dungeons. After the third bizarre encounter I started to write them down. I was kind of collecting them. I just reread what was said in group chat today and laughed. If it hadn't been that half of the pugs had some kind of "drama" I wouldn't bother posting. But rereading made me chuckle so I thought I'd share, "The names have been changed to protect the innocent"

Scene 1: nCoA1

DPS1: tank could you slot a taunt.
Tank: silence

after the 3rd Boss is dead and about to finish the fire atro
DPS2: I'm lagging, I'm going to relog, wait for me
DPS1 starts to type: Please don't, we're almost done, I don't have time to wait........

but DPS2 vanishes before he can press return

Tank who has no taunt finishes Fire Atro and heads off to the final two bosses. DPS 1 sighs

The Razor Master dies.

DPS2 relogs

DPS2: What?! You've killed everything! What is wrong with you people? I specifically asked you to wait! What kind of people are you who ignore requests like that?
DPS1starts to type:... you didn't actually ask, you left without waiting for a reply....

but DPS2 has left group

Scene 2: n CoA1

On the Warden of the Shrine, the healer dies
DPS1 rezzes him. Tank is down. Boss is at 20 percent. Faster to finish BOss than rez tank. DPS 1 and DPS2 finish Boss

Tank: *** group
DPS1: What? Why? What's wrong?
Tank: You didn't help me.
DPS1: How? I don't understand. You are a tank, you taunt. We are DD we kill.

silence - group continues through pledge

Razor Master dies
DPS1: Thanks guys, bye.
Tank: ***
DPS1whisper: That wasn't very polite. Could you tell me what was your problem with the group because I thought it was fine?
Tank whisper: I don't talk to narcissists.
DPS1 whisper: Hey mate, you've got me all wrong. I genuinely don't understand. And I'd genuinely like to know what was wrong. Perhaps instead of calling me an *** and a narcissist, you could explain your problem and we could try to understand each other
silence

Scene 3: nWGT

DPS1: tank can you slot a taunt?
TANK: Oh, sorry guys, I forgot. I was on my other toon yesterday, that's why I have both tank and DPS flagged. But this toon can't tank. Kick me if you want.
DPS1:....

Scene 4: nDC2

DPS1: tank can you slot a taunt?
Tank: What? Oh. OK
Healer :...

Before Grubull

DPS1: Wait, quick check, do you guys all understand the mechanics?
Healer: +
DPS 2 and tank: silence

very low dps from the group -DPS1 is contributing 80 percent on Grubull and his flock. With Grubull at 5 percent and after a couple of minutes of "spinning to win" DPS1 runs out of stam and can't break free from one of Grubull's snares. DPS1 isn't healed and dies. Group wipes.

DPS1: Hey Healer, would it be possible for you to throw me some shards towards the end of the fight? I was running out of stam trying to keep the adds down and couldn't break free.
Healer: lol
DPS1: I don't understand. lol - no shards. Or just lol
Healer: You're kidding
DPS1: No, I'm asking politely for shards
silence..waits...still silent
DPS1: Sorry guys, I've been talking politely in group and the healer can only be rude. I'm not interested in spending time with rude people. I'm out of here. Good luck with the dungeon and have fun.

DPS1 leaves group

Healer whisper: I'm sorry you enjoy playing this game
DPS1 whisper: You're right, I do enjoy playing the game and I'm not sorry about it. I am sorry you needed to be rude in chat though. I asked politely.
Healer whisper: The greedy don't always get what they want
DPS1: What? Do you even know what that means?
Healer: yes.
DPS1 ....

Scene 5: nFG2

DPS1: Tank could you slot a taunt.
silence...no taunt
DPS1 leaves group

Scene 6: vCoH1 hm

Tank is taunting red. Blue is running round focused on DPS2. Blue kills DPS2. DPS1 tries to rez DPS2 but is caught by blue. Healer isn't rezzing -busy dodging blue and healing tank

DPS1: (waiting for a rez or the wipe): Hey tank, could I suggest you try taunting the blue? If you taunt him and lead him over to the side out of range of red, we can kill him in peace. Or group them together, I don't mind- just keep him aggroed.
silence
healer dies
tank dies
TANK: pft idiot
DPS1: who me?
TANK: fkn noob!
DPS1: What?
TANK: fkn rez! fkn res scrub!
silence
TANK: fkn noob ruin mi run!

Group rezzes. Tank goes back to taunting red. DPS1, DPS2 and healer concentrate on taking down blue before he kills them

So you were the Tank, right?