How long did it take you to achieve 'real friends'?

AndrewQ84 · March 2017

Best advice I can give is join a guild that fits what your goals are in game and get active in it. I don't know if you RP or not, but the majority of my friends in game came from RP guilds and random RP events that I joined out of a whim. Matter of fact, my girlfriend (who I have known since pretty much release of ESO) I met in game through a random RP event my guild was holding at the time.

flguy147ub17_ESO · March 2017

NewBlacksmurf wrote: »

flguy147ub17_ESO wrote: »

NewBlacksmurf wrote: »

To be fair.....

On PC I played from closed beta to almost one full year after PC launch. Other than ppl on the forums, I never gained actual friends but added ppl to my friends lists and very rarely played together after we met doing a quest or dungeon.

On Xbox one....waaay different. I have over 250 new friends but I'd say I have about 10 real friends I'd say took....what 1 day and others....a week but we linked up after one brief interaction

Because we have voice chat by default and our network extends outside of the bounds of one game, there are ppl who no longer play ESO who I play other Xbox one games with.

I'd say the difference is PC is absent of human voice in the default game.

Man i am the opposite, i played PC at launch and met many people. Been on Xbox about a month and half, joined multiple guilds and even posted looking for a guild with no luck. My experience is console users dont come from MMOs and understand what a guild should be like. But again i may have just had bad luck so far. Hopefully i can find a great guild eventually cause i hate doing new harder content in a pug cause i dont know the mechanics well yet.

@flguy147ub17_ESO

Are you talking to ppl or just using text chat and the forums?

Might I suggest to search for Xbox clubs and use voice chat. A lot of ppl have text chat off and MANY ppl never use forums.

There are hundreds of thousands of good ppl and many great guilds on consoles which are run pretty tight however one example I have is an active guild who primarily tries to use text chat, Guild announcements and an external website Guild Launch.

That model isn't one that will lead to much success even tho it has over 400 members, it's one where if u log in once every 3 months you won't get kicked but rarely has over 50 online at a time

In contrast another guild I joined is a VERY young group of folks who use a Xbox Club as their guild page.

They use the Xbox LFG for guild events, raids, dungeons. They use the club page for activity info and in general update the guild announcements weekly ingame but it refers ppl back to the club page.

They have over 180 ppl online even on weeknights but only 250 total members while the club has around 1,000 members cause guilds are very limiting

All of that to say....be mindful and open to doing things very differently on Xbox than what was done on PC.

Only had my Xbox since November. Have never used the Xbox clubs. And yeah i dont want one of those 500 person guilds that constantly send random invites. I am also use to guild websites and stuff from PC. I know its different and i am sure there are great guilds out there. I am a MMO Vet so i should be able to pick up mechanics of some of the newer content very quickly but hate running new dungeons without people i know cause i have to learn the fights and dont think people stop to verify all that at the beginning of boss fights. Maybe they do in trials but i have played MMOs where every single raid boss, the leader stops and goes over the strats for the fights. It takes less than 60 secs to to do but seems like people are in such a rush in this game. More so than any game i have played. I will eventually find me a good guild though i am sure.

geonsocal · March 2017

KingYogi415 wrote: »

Stay away from pvp and join a guild.

Cheers!

this is too funny - i was about to suggest jumping in to PvP and joining a PvP guild...

my experience has been that the tightest most cohesive guilds are folks whom go to battle together...

edit: oh yeah, try checking out the guild recruitment section of the forums...

Katahdin · March 2017

kissesandbunnies wrote:

Katahdin wrote: »

Join a guild and get involved with the events they run. Be active. Do stuff with people in the guild. Join their teamspeak/discord. Talk in guild chat.

Being a girl, I have always avoided actual 'talking' on games. I've done it a few times and I always got a not-so-amusing comment and players wanting to talk to me-because I'm a girl. It always made me uncomfortable.

I understand where you're coming from. I am a girl and it used to make me uncomfortable too. I've come across some cretins in other games, but so far people in ESO have been fine, probably because there are alot of females playing ESO.

d0e1ow · March 2017

I understand you, OP. I wish I had friends like that in this game as well. My one true friend in gaming plays WoW, and I don't think she'd come over to this game. I still enjoy WoW off and on, but after more than a decade I can't stick around for super long stints anymore and inevitably find my way back here.

I'd love to learn dungeons and trials and how to PvP better. Heck, I still really have no clue what I'm really "supposed" to be doing past level 50. I'm pretty clueless! I'm also pretty much alone though so it's hard. I'm one of those people who is shy in groups and doesn't really reach out easily, but once you get to know me I never shut up.

I'm happy having one or two good friends in a game that I spend most of my time with and am perfectly content to be that silent person on Discord when it comes time for the big group stuff. I would just look at the guild listings, but to be honest with you the best friends I have made in these games have been purely by chance. There is never a guarantee that joining a guild will create a blossoming relationship with someone. A lot of guilds may be nice, but may also just be a means to an end game wise. My true friendships have always been organic, not forced instances of "add me!" or people adding me over something gameplay related.

Idk. You can't really force friendships. As I get older I cherish those interactions far more than I do things like gear, being the best, having prestige. Sure, all that is nice, but nothing can beat having one or two truly decent people in your life who can stave off the loneliness of life. For a lot of us introverts that means someone we connect with online.

I will add this too and I know it risks being flamed... but for religious reasons I tend to only want to really get to know women as well. That adds in an extra dimension of complexity for me. I'm not rude to guys or anything, but I wouldn't ever let my guard down with them like I would with a fellow woman. I was actually in a guild of women back when the game launched, but sadly it died. Such is the way of the MMO.

Darkestnght · March 2017

Don't need any don't want any.

MasterSpatula · March 2017

I'm still in contact with some of my guildies from Star Wars: Galaxies, which I played for two years.

I'm way past two years in ESO, and I don't really feel I have a personal relationship with anyone. That says something about the nature of both games--and probably about how I've changed in the last 10 years or so.

rotaugen454 · March 2017

I've been playing ESO since beta. Might get around to making a friend someday. Naaaaah....

thenc · March 2017

I'll be your friend!

yodased · March 2017

If you want friendly people to do dungeons with and make houses and things, hit me or @heroofnone up. We have the technology and cookies.

Danikat · March 2017

I don't play ESO frequently enough to really get to know many people but I've made good friends in other games. For a while I actually lived with my guild leader, we met through the game and then became real-life friends.

I think it's much easier to make friends if you join a small guild with shared interests. Being in a guild means you can talk to each other no matter what you're doing and if it's a small one it's easier to get to know each other because you'll always be talking to the same few people. (And shared interests are important because you can't really get to be friends with people if you don't have much in common - I mean you're all playing the same game so that's a good start but if one of you only does dungeons and trials, someone else only does PvP and someone else is always questing you're not going to have much cross-over.

Of course you can do the same with adding people to your friends list and then chatting to them but personally I find it's easier to keep conversations going in a group.

HeroOfNone · March 2017

Dungeon finder, inviting random folks to a group, running with folks in PVP, these are all ice breakers to get yourself talking and socializing. Once you start you need to cultivate it with folks you get along with, that share interests. You have a leg up in that we all like video games and probably TES as well.