Something disturbing in chat last night

SolarCat02 · February 2017

Tabbycat wrote: »

Yes, OP should report the behavior for obvious reasons.

My personal internet motto is to never take anything anyone says on the internet seriously. (Exceptions of course being people I actually know in real life.)

I don't think that anyone actually intends for someone to harm themselves. At least I should hope not. The thing that people need to keep in mind is you don't know someone's state of mind. They could be dealing with the loss of a loved one, abuse, self esteem issues. They could be suicidal. You don't know. And if you tell them to harm themselves, they may just go and do that.

Do you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you are responsible for the death of another human being?

I didn't think so.

Sadly, for some people that answer is "Yes"...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2016/12/14/health/teen-suicide-cyberbullying-continues-trnd/index.html

Tavore1138 · February 2017

Firerock2 wrote: »

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

Firerock2 wrote: »

You're saying if I have a different opinion on the matter its because I'm ignoring facts, therefore my opinion is flawed and wrong. That's asinine.

Well, there are opinions and there are facts. If an opinion doesn't reasonably fit with facts, it not an opinion anymore, it's simply wrong. It's okay to argue and confront other people's opinions with facts.

I agree that you can argue your opinion with facts but that is not what Molydeus was doing. He wrote off every other opinion by making sweeping statement saying they were ignoring facts if they didn't agree with him. People can view the same event and come up with different opinions. That doesn't mean they are ignoring it.

Saying that your opinion on the matter is right and everyone is else is just ignoring whatever fact (or whatever you believe to be a fact) you may be referring to is not arguing. I don't think rude statements is what drives mass shooters. Bullying, in that context, is far more complex than just saying bad things. That is not what pushes people to such extremes in my opinion.

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

"If an opinion doesn't reasonably fit with facts, it not an opinion anymore, it's simply wrong."

If an opinion doesn't fit reasonably enough with facts, you have to argue why it doesn't. You could be wrong; just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it is wrong. Also opinions don't just stop being opinions.

It is of my opinion that what you say does not fit reasonably well with the facts presented. Therefore your opinion is no longer valid, you are wrong, I am right.- This is not a discussion, or argument. It is an asinine statement.

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

I for one think that bad behaviours can be countered by condemning them, calling them for what they are, and if possible by fighting them.

That's great, how is this relevant to what I said? My statement was in response to the phrase, "Think before you speak". I will say it again, there will always be who do not think before they speak. Life will break you if you can't even deal with a few words that are not nice. The point is to not put so much value in the words. Posting a thread about it is not "fighting" bad behaviors and whatever your "fighting" entails it will never stop people from saying bad things. Unless it involves some 1984 type of sh*t, and that's a different problem.

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

There were times where you'd be safe walking in the streets at any time day or night, simply because there were other people around. People would not get assaulted in the middle of a crowd at midday just because the crowd prefers to look away.

The bystander effect has always been a thing, it is a part of human nature. It is not going away.

In no instance in known history has the world been devoid of suffering and bad people. Whatever your point was with that last paragraph, it didn't really address what I'm saying.

If an opinion doesn't fit with verifiable facts then arguing about it is probably just a waste of everyone's time - the person with the wrong opinion is clearly too stubborn. Without straying too far away from ESO there is a really issue with this view right now where some seem to believe that those that shout the loudest get to define the facts but sadly you can believe that up is down or that the sky is made from tiny pixies... you can express your opinion and argue about it but reality will remain unimpressed. As will those of us that look stuff up.

Get annoyed with the 'it's always been like it' view - because it hasn't, as a species we've generally progressed a lot despite people with that view trying to stop progress at every turn. I tend towards the belief that despite some set backs in the last few years we'll continue to progress and get better in the long term... part of that involves those who care not just giving trolls the freedom to troll but calling them out on it when it crosses the line.

CMFan1966 · February 2017

To those who have supported my feelings about this, I thank you. To those who believe I should just let it roll off my back...I appreciate your candor. It would have been easy for me to SAY a lot of things just because you weren't comforting me or coddling me. Because I am a grown woman with grown children and not an adolescent, I am giving you the respect I would hope to receive from any other decent human being.

I am absolutely not looking for pity here. Between 2013 and 2015 I watched my husband die by inches in front of my eyes. My children had to see that. I'm not the only who has gone through that either. There are countless people who lose loved ones every day. Wishing that pain on another human being is one of the worst forms of cruelty I have ever seen. You can rest assured that if I see it again, I will report it. If I can't figure out how to report it, I'll learn.

As I said, I am a grown woman. I am not some little tweener throwing a tantrum. I don't really care what anyone says or thinks of me, but wishing death and grief on a virtual stranger is where I draw the line.

Ojustaboo · February 2017

Ah the good well spoken chat we find in mmos, here's a heavily censored conversation I just had on the EU PC server, bearing in mind, when I went there to kill zombies, there was already 4 people, so I presumed they were in a full group anyway

Person 1 said: Stop killing them so quick you cancerous "c-word"s
F**** hell
People on this game are f***ing autistic man I swear
braindead

To which I replied:
People need to learn how to speak politely, your comments just made me want to kill them quicker

he replied: "my name" you f***ing r**tard
kys

Person 2 replied: Yo f***ers
take it to the f***ing group rather than soloing

Person 1 said: No point saying anything they are brain dead

I responded: A polite request and I would have grouped or whatever, calling us "c-word"s then braindead and you wonder why no one is listening to you

Person 1 then sent me a whisper
Pull the mobs to the pack you f***ing stupid fat fingered r**arded autistic "c-word". it's not hard. It's such a f***ing simple concept my dead granparents could do it

BRogueNZ · February 2017

Jitterbug wrote: »

Mavloc wrote: »

When I was growing up my parent's taught me this valuable lesson:
"Stick and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you"

Apparently a nursery rhyme no longer taught in this day and age.

No, because it's complete and utter bull cookies.

Yes and no, words do and can hurt obviously and verbal- emotional abuse is not any lesser than physical, but the saying means (to me anyway) 'who gives a noddy turd what some clown thinks of you'
Especially coming from anyone who has no other influence on your life and never will

Jitterbug · February 2017

CMFan1966 wrote: »

To those who have supported my feelings about this, I thank you. To those who believe I should just let it roll off my back...I appreciate your candor. It would have been easy for me to SAY a lot of things just because you weren't comforting me or coddling me. Because I am a grown woman with grown children and not an adolescent, I am giving you the respect I would hope to receive from any other decent human being.

I am absolutely not looking for pity here. Between 2013 and 2015 I watched my husband die by inches in front of my eyes. My children had to see that. I'm not the only who has gone through that either. There are countless people who lose loved ones every day. Wishing that pain on another human being is one of the worst forms of cruelty I have ever seen. You can rest assured that if I see it again, I will report it. If I can't figure out how to report it, I'll learn.

As I said, I am a grown woman. I am not some little tweener throwing a tantrum. I don't really care what anyone says or thinks of me, but wishing death and grief on a virtual stranger is where I draw the line.

Well put and good round off to a great thread!

That being said someone should really post a picture of kitten now...

Firerock2 · February 2017

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

Firerock2 wrote: »

It will never stop people from saying bad things. ../...
The bystander effect has always been a thing, it is a part of human nature. It is not going away.

Sorry if I cut through your reasoning... which sums up to "Things are bad, people are bad, life is hard, there's no point doing anything against it because it has always been like that and will always be like that and it's human nature".
Worse even, you seem to imply that any kind of condemning bad attitudes is likely to lead to a "dictatorship of the good".

I not only strongly disagree with both statements (only a minority of people are actually "bad", and a common background for "right" and "wrong" is what makes up a society), but I think this passivity is dangerous. Being "thick-skinned enough to ignore" is no strength and no bravery.
(That being said, I agree that there isn't much anyone can do in the context of ESO, but still... not applauding would already be a start).

As to the "bystander" effect, I know some sociologists have theorized it and I don't deny that, but the truth is, our streets and lives used to be much more secure than nowadays - when people felt some responsibility for the common good, instead of cowardly growing a thick skin and minding strictly their own business when they should have helped the weaker ones.

My argument doesn't just sum up to passivity, and I'm not arguing that the majority of people in the world are bad. I never said that at all.

To address the main point, ignoring insults and bad words is a strength. Many times the reason people say such things is to warrant a response from you. The absolute best thing you can do on ESO to deal with little sh*ts like that is to ignore them.

When bad behaviors go beyond words, that's when a response is warranted, in my opinion.

The rest of this response and our discussion seems to go beyond just *** talking on the internet. So the rest of what I say is in reference to life in general and not just harsh statements.

I think condemning, ostracizing, and "fighting" bad attitudes leads to more bad attitudes. I think you give people a reason to behave even worse towards you if you do the same to them. I certainly wouldn't condone their behavior and depending on what that behavior is my response would differ but I wouldn't take up the mindset to "fight" them.

Even if people were more empathetic towards each other in the past (not proven) that doesn't mean you will be saved and protected by others in your life. Teaching others that mindset is not a good idea.

Duragon_Darko · February 2017

@CMFan1966
Normally, a screen shot, then a search on PSN and a complaint to SOE will have them banned. Yes, it's only the internet, and yes, only words, but in today's society all too often this gets overlooked and turns to the wrong path. I commend you for even posting on the forums.

Second, the "sticks and stones" thing, or the "if I had a dollar for every time someone said this" is all old school mentality. Back in the day, their were no mass shootings or bombings every month and suicides was a shocking and rare thing that now have become entirely too common and shrugged off.

In this day and age, I agree, children are VERY soft skinned and VERY protected, but that is a fault of our society not the parents. Too may U-tube, iPad, snapchat, Facebook kids that think that IS their reality and take things way too seriously. Just because YOU understand that it's just words, doesn't mean the children of today understand it. They were never shown any other way.

Flag them, report them, get them banned.

sevomd69 · February 2017

Duragon_Darko wrote: »

@CMFan1966
Normally, a screen shot, then a search on PSN and a complaint to SOE will have them banned. Yes, it's only the internet, and yes, only words, but in today's society all too often this gets overlooked and turns to the wrong path. I commend you for even posting on the forums.

Second, the "sticks and stones" thing, or the "if I had a dollar for every time someone said this" is all old school mentality. Back in the day, their were no mass shootings or bombings every month and suicides was a shocking and rare thing that now have become entirely too common and shrugged off.

In this day and age, I agree, children are VERY soft skinned and VERY protected, but that is a fault of our society not the parents. Too may U-tube, iPad, snapchat, Facebook kids that think that IS their reality and take things way too seriously. Just because YOU understand that it's just words, doesn't mean the children of today understand it. They were never shown any other way.

Flag them, report them, get them banned.

This right here... I for one would prefer that my children not have to go through the bs that some of us went through growing up... like I said before... no matter how people deal with this as adults, when we were children... words did hurt...

anitajoneb17_ESO · February 2017

Firerock2 wrote: »

My argument doesn't just sum up to passivity, and I'm not arguing that the majority of people in the world are bad. I never said that at all.

To address the main point, ignoring insults and bad words is a strength. Many times the reason people say such things is to warrant a response from you. The absolute best thing you can do on ESO to deal with little sh*ts like that is to ignore them.

When bad behaviors go beyond words, that's when a response is warranted, in my opinion.

The rest of this response and our discussion seems to go beyond just *** talking on the internet. So the rest of what I say is in reference to life in general and not just harsh statements.

I think condemning, ostracizing, and "fighting" bad attitudes leads to more bad attitudes. I think you give people a reason to behave even worse towards you if you do the same to them. I certainly wouldn't condone their behavior and depending on what that behavior is my response would differ but I wouldn't take up the mindset to "fight" them.

Even if people were more empathetic towards each other in the past (not proven) that doesn't mean you will be saved and protected by others in your life. Teaching others that mindset is not a good idea.

I'm glad I over-generalized your point of view then.

I agree with you that once a behaviour has been "diagnosed as bad", the "what to do next" is subject to discussion and must be done carefully, else it may generate an escalation of "bad".
Specific to cyber-bullying, the "don't feed the troll" strategy generally proves to be efficient. Also, as a general rule, it is recommended to "avoid attacking the attacker, but fortify the victim instead". I do hope that some comments in this thread have been comforting for the OP.

Finally, I'm not saying that you should expect other people to come to your rescue in life - because it's true that they might not come at all. But that's not a reason for not rescuing others when appropriate. I don't tell children to expect protection FROM others, but I do tell them to protect others.

Coakknows · February 2017

We must protect the children!!!

But.... not too much, eh.

No children were hurt in the making of this thread.

Robisok74 · February 2017

The people that write these types of things are cowards that hide behind keyboards and would never have the balls to say it to someones face. Take some solace OP that they probably live a very sad existence....

Zyrudin · February 2017

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

1. Stop spreading the idea that it is unavoidable
2. Point at them loudly - by which I mean naming and shaming
3. Counter the "bad people are strong and cool" mentality that's spreading like wildfire
4. Stop laughing at such things
5. Ban them and their friends from our guilds and friends. If there's one thing that those people fear, it's loneliness and lack of audience.

In general, you point out the main issue here: violence is the only language a bully understands and utilizes. It is a fact as old as the world and not only human but of nature.
Shaming, banning, isolating are all forms of violence that can register on a real, actual bully.

It reminds me of when I was a kid and there was this other kid that kept calling me names. I wouldn't do anything and would hold it inside until I came back home, where I would cry to my mother.

My mother would soothe me and tell me it would be alright.

One day my father saw me crying and asked what happened. I explained. He then, in his calm way, told me: "Listen, you are going to go where you normally go. When that kid badmouths you, you immediately smack him. If you don't and come back home crying, then I will be the one smacking you. Your choice."

The next day I went to school, the guy was there, he called me names, I remembered what my father said, so I went up to him and threw a right hook straight to the teeth. He spat out a (milk) tooth... and never bothered me again. Ever.

Both my parents have already passed away, but I still always remember my father with more admiration for his lessons than my mother for her soothing, when I was growing up.

To the OP I have to say: If you want to do something about and feel it is justified, report it. It might not be adequate to you to use the forums to look for some kind of comfort, confirmation or acceptance, because you will always find among this thread something that will make you feel the way you feel, even if people are "soothing". As my personal story above tried to show, it is best to learn a harsh lesson than to get an inconsequential hug that keeps everything the same as before.

anitajoneb17_ESO · February 2017

Zyrudin wrote: »

The next day I went to school, the guy was there, he called me names, I remembered what my father said, so I went up to him and threw a right hook straight to the teeth. He spat out a (milk) tooth... and never bothered me again. Ever.

Both my parents have already passed away, but I still always remember my father with more admiration for his lessons than my mother for her soothing, when I was growing up.

You're being quite unfair to your mother imho, but hey...

I'd take your "testimony" with a grain of salt here. It worked because you were, physically, the strongest one. But if he had fought back or been stronger, you might just as well been the one spitting a milk tooth there.
If things had escalated, you might just as well have been both expelled from school - both griefer and victim.
In our societies where "justice" is delegated to the authorities, making justice yourself can get you punished rather than your griefer, and end up in jail. So yeah... be cautious.
Also, some people are, by nature, not "attackers". Whenever they should or could attack in self-defense, they simply can't. They're victims nonetheless...

On this forum or ingame, where words are the only means available, this could lead to an escalation where all parties get banned.

So yeah the "what to do" is tricky and case-by-case. But I think that sticking together on the victim's side (and not praising of fancying the attacker for being "strong" or "funny", and not giving him excuses) is something that can be applied universally.

Darth_Apache · February 2017

Being born in 91 during the portion where internet wasn't as big as it is today; AOL ruled the inter -web and computers werent in every home yet. Around 96, 97 is when we got our first computer and it was a big deal. They had chat rooms within AOL and the amount of crap you'd find in those you see in YouTube comments and other forums like Reddit etc.

It's always been around. Just because I'm told that "mass shootings" and what not aren't as common as they are today doesn't mean I necessarily believe it.

I believe the media coverage and power of social media has just enabled a more worldwide view of these instances. Meaning, people can see the news a HELL of a lot faster than before.

Human Nature has stayed the same and is getting worse with this mentality of safe space and "don't hurt my feelings".
LAME.

I digress...seeing someone post something in chat like "go kill yourself" is not a direct threat and if someone so weak willed were to actually do it because someone told them to...for this I have no words.

Sorry for your loss OP but if it really does cause an issue for you we have reporting function available to us. Use them without remorse.

Just don't let this create a mentality of "the government should intervene" like most people do nowadays.

Stay Strong.

MythicEmperor · February 2017

Lokey0024 wrote: »

Mavloc wrote: »

When I was growing up my parent's taught me this valuable lesson:
"Stick and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you"

Apparently a nursery rhyme no longer taught in this day and age.

At the time of this nursery rhyme, children and young adults had distinctly different social circles and limited type of anonymity. I just wish parents where smart enough to use keyloggers on their childrens computer to moniter it.

Keyloggers? What is wrong with privacy?

Anyways, if something on the internet truly bothers someone of any age, the solution is simple: turn it off. Guess what? Its not real. There is a power switch. You can escape it.

'Cyberbully awareness' devalues real harassment, which is inescapable. You cannot turn real life off, which leads to real problems, so stop making problems where there are none.

Zyrudin · February 2017

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

You're being quite unfair to your mother imho, but hey...

I'd take your "testimony" with a grain of salt here. It worked because you were, physically, the strongest one. But if he had fought back or been stronger, you might just as well been the one spitting a milk tooth there.
If things had escalated, you might just as well have been both expelled from school - both griefer and victim.
In our societies where "justice" is delegated to the authorities, making justice yourself can get you punished rather than your griefer, and end up in jail. So yeah... be cautious.
Also, some people are, by nature, not "attackers". Whenever they should or could attack in self-defense, they simply can't. They're victims nonetheless...

On this forum or ingame, where words are the only means available, this could lead to an escalation where all parties get banned.

So yeah the "what to do" is tricky and case-by-case. But I think that sticking together on the victim's side (and not praising of fancying the attacker for being "strong" or "funny", and not giving him excuses) is something that can be applied universally.

I wasn't physically stronger at all, I was made emotionally stronger by my father's words, though, while the kid was caught off-guard and understood I wasn't prey anymore, so he moved to other pastures (or learned his lesson, I don't know).

By the way, I do not think the OP was a victim here, just an unwilling spectator.

Sheezabeast · February 2017

I really believe the only thing worse than cyber bullying is not standing up for someone being cyber bullied. I bet that person being told those things would have loved to have had someone defending them.

Darth_Apache · February 2017

Zyrudin wrote: »

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

You're being quite unfair to your mother imho, but hey...

I'd take your "testimony" with a grain of salt here. It worked because you were, physically, the strongest one. But if he had fought back or been stronger, you might just as well been the one spitting a milk tooth there.
If things had escalated, you might just as well have been both expelled from school - both griefer and victim.
In our societies where "justice" is delegated to the authorities, making justice yourself can get you punished rather than your griefer, and end up in jail. So yeah... be cautious.
Also, some people are, by nature, not "attackers". Whenever they should or could attack in self-defense, they simply can't. They're victims nonetheless...

On this forum or ingame, where words are the only means available, this could lead to an escalation where all parties get banned.

So yeah the "what to do" is tricky and case-by-case. But I think that sticking together on the victim's side (and not praising of fancying the attacker for being "strong" or "funny", and not giving him excuses) is something that can be applied universally.

I wasn't physically stronger at all, I was made emotionally stronger by my father's words, though, while the kid was caught off-guard and understood I wasn't prey anymore, so he moved to other pastures (or learned his lesson, I don't know).

By the way, I do not think the OP was a victim here, just an unwilling spectator.

I don't believe people know what emotional strength is these days.
There is an entire movement for "Safe Space"...pushing legislature to make people stop being "mean".

I agree with you; the strength that a mother and father can give to you emotionally can go a long way. Also the damage they can do; in this case looking inward and seeing yourself as more than who they were can really take you far. I'm a living testament of the latter.

Kudos to your pops.

Jeremy · February 2017

FrostFallFox wrote: »

Mavloc wrote: »

When I was growing up my parent's taught me this valuable lesson:
"Stick and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you"

Apparently a nursery rhyme no longer taught in this day and age.

Telling someone to kill them self is FAR from telling someone their face looks funny. Apparently manners and understanding other people was never taught to you.

But Mavloc never said telling someone to kill themselves is the same as telling them that their face looks funny. So I believe your post is misrepresenting what he was saying.

His point was words cannot hurt you unless you allow them too - especially on a video game where you have to option to simply ignore the poster. So there is no need to report people or waste the valuable time of ZOS employees who could be doing something more productive like fixing bugs.

Just put the poster on ignore and move on. This shouldn't even be an issue.

Coakknows · February 2017

As Larkin put it, "They [censored] you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do."

Jeremy · February 2017

Sheezabeast wrote: »

I really believe the only thing worse than cyber bullying is not standing up for someone being cyber bullied. I bet that person being told those things would have loved to have had someone defending them.

No one needs to defend them. They can do it themselves by simply ignoring the poster. Problem solved.

Waffennacht · February 2017

I feel for you OP. Just know there are people who care.

starkerealm · February 2017

Zyrudin wrote: »

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

1. Stop spreading the idea that it is unavoidable
2. Point at them loudly - by which I mean naming and shaming
3. Counter the "bad people are strong and cool" mentality that's spreading like wildfire
4. Stop laughing at such things
5. Ban them and their friends from our guilds and friends. If there's one thing that those people fear, it's loneliness and lack of audience.

In general, you point out the main issue here: violence is the only language a bully understands and utilizes. It is a fact as old as the world and not only human but of nature.
Shaming, banning, isolating are all forms of violence that can register on a real, actual bully.

It reminds me of when I was a kid and there was this other kid that kept calling me names. I wouldn't do anything and would hold it inside until I came back home, where I would cry to my mother.

My mother would soothe me and tell me it would be alright.

One day my father saw me crying and asked what happened. I explained. He then, in his calm way, told me: "Listen, you are going to go where you normally go. When that kid badmouths you, you immediately smack him. If you don't and come back home crying, then I will be the one smacking you. Your choice."

The next day I went to school, the guy was there, he called me names, I remembered what my father said, so I went up to him and threw a right hook straight to the teeth. He spat out a (milk) tooth... and never bothered me again. Ever.

Both my parents have already passed away, but I still always remember my father with more admiration for his lessons than my mother for her soothing, when I was growing up.

To the OP I have to say: If you want to do something about and feel it is justified, report it. It might not be adequate to you to use the forums to look for some kind of comfort, confirmation or acceptance, because you will always find among this thread something that will make you feel the way you feel, even if people are "soothing". As my personal story above tried to show, it is best to learn a harsh lesson than to get an inconsequential hug that keeps everything the same as before.

Well, it's nice to know you learned that violence is an appropriate response to harsh language. Because that never escalates the situation beyond your ability to control it.

Takes-No-Prisoner · February 2017

ZiRM wrote: »

I've seen many disturbing things while playing MMO's and on the internet in general. I would of reported it.

^^^

Just because it was not directed at you does not mean you shouldn't report it if it made you feel disturbed. By all means do so.

Jeremy · February 2017

Zyrudin wrote: »

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

1. Stop spreading the idea that it is unavoidable
2. Point at them loudly - by which I mean naming and shaming
3. Counter the "bad people are strong and cool" mentality that's spreading like wildfire
4. Stop laughing at such things
5. Ban them and their friends from our guilds and friends. If there's one thing that those people fear, it's loneliness and lack of audience.

In general, you point out the main issue here: violence is the only language a bully understands and utilizes. It is a fact as old as the world and not only human but of nature.
Shaming, banning, isolating are all forms of violence that can register on a real, actual bully.

It reminds me of when I was a kid and there was this other kid that kept calling me names. I wouldn't do anything and would hold it inside until I came back home, where I would cry to my mother.

My mother would soothe me and tell me it would be alright.

One day my father saw me crying and asked what happened. I explained. He then, in his calm way, told me: "Listen, you are going to go where you normally go. When that kid badmouths you, you immediately smack him. If you don't and come back home crying, then I will be the one smacking you. Your choice."

The next day I went to school, the guy was there, he called me names, I remembered what my father said, so I went up to him and threw a right hook straight to the teeth. He spat out a (milk) tooth... and never bothered me again. Ever.

Both my parents have already passed away, but I still always remember my father with more admiration for his lessons than my mother for her soothing, when I was growing up.

To the OP I have to say: If you want to do something about and feel it is justified, report it. It might not be adequate to you to use the forums to look for some kind of comfort, confirmation or acceptance, because you will always find among this thread something that will make you feel the way you feel, even if people are "soothing". As my personal story above tried to show, it is best to learn a harsh lesson than to get an inconsequential hug that keeps everything the same as before.

This is not a good comparison.

Children who are bullied at school can't just simply put their bullies on ignore. They are obligated to attend school and usually have to endure the abuse.

You were lucky this bully stopped messing with you after you punched him as well. Some bullies would have hit back and you might have wound up in the hospital. This is especially the case if it was a much older kid (who are often times the bullies). So I don't really think turning our schools into Fight Club is the answer either.

Darth_Apache · February 2017

Jeremy wrote: »

Zyrudin wrote: »

anitajoneb17_ESO wrote: »

1. Stop spreading the idea that it is unavoidable
2. Point at them loudly - by which I mean naming and shaming
3. Counter the "bad people are strong and cool" mentality that's spreading like wildfire
4. Stop laughing at such things
5. Ban them and their friends from our guilds and friends. If there's one thing that those people fear, it's loneliness and lack of audience.

In general, you point out the main issue here: violence is the only language a bully understands and utilizes. It is a fact as old as the world and not only human but of nature.
Shaming, banning, isolating are all forms of violence that can register on a real, actual bully.

It reminds me of when I was a kid and there was this other kid that kept calling me names. I wouldn't do anything and would hold it inside until I came back home, where I would cry to my mother.

My mother would soothe me and tell me it would be alright.

One day my father saw me crying and asked what happened. I explained. He then, in his calm way, told me: "Listen, you are going to go where you normally go. When that kid badmouths you, you immediately smack him. If you don't and come back home crying, then I will be the one smacking you. Your choice."

The next day I went to school, the guy was there, he called me names, I remembered what my father said, so I went up to him and threw a right hook straight to the teeth. He spat out a (milk) tooth... and never bothered me again. Ever.

Both my parents have already passed away, but I still always remember my father with more admiration for his lessons than my mother for her soothing, when I was growing up.

To the OP I have to say: If you want to do something about and feel it is justified, report it. It might not be adequate to you to use the forums to look for some kind of comfort, confirmation or acceptance, because you will always find among this thread something that will make you feel the way you feel, even if people are "soothing". As my personal story above tried to show, it is best to learn a harsh lesson than to get an inconsequential hug that keeps everything the same as before.

This is not a good comparison.

Children who are bullied at school can't just simply put their bullies on ignore. They are obligated to attend school and usually have to endure the abuse.

You were lucky this bully stopped messing with you after you punched him as well. Some bullies would have hit back and you might have wound up in the hospital. This is especially the case if it was a much older kid (who are often times the bullies). So I don't really think turning our schools into Fight Club is the answer either.

Here's the thing...teach them when they are young to stop bullying. By the time they(bully and bullied) hit High School you have two people who know the affects and consequence of bullying. Here you kill 2 birds with 1 stone. You lose a bully and you lose the victim and you just have two people.

FrostFallFox · February 2017

Titansteele wrote: »

FrostFallFox wrote: »

Honest question, to everybody defending the "sticks and stones" idea, do you think it's okay to tell someone to end their life?

It's obviously not and that's why these things should be reported. This isn't just about "err muh gerd triggered!" it might just be the thing that pushes people with existing mental illnesses to kill them self.

No I do not, if this was aimed at me in any way then please read my posts again as you have missed important messages.

No, this was not aimed at anybody in particular. Sorry if you wish it was. @Titansteele

Koensol · February 2017

notimetocare wrote: »

lol... Cyber bullying... I remember when bullying broke bones...

Seriously though, what happened to teaching kids to have a thick skin? Sure it is pretty messed up to say these things, but what real harm has been done? Only eay someone gets hurt is by hurting themselves, and if someone saying stuff like this makes someone hurt themselves they need far more help that a report button.

FloppyTouch wrote: »

notimetocare wrote: »

lol... Cyber bullying... I remember when bullying broke bones...

Seriously though, what happened to teaching kids to have a thick skin? Sure it is pretty messed up to say these things, but what real harm has been done? Only eay someone gets hurt is by hurting themselves, and if someone saying stuff like this makes someone hurt themselves they need far more help that a report button.

But feeling where hurt! They need hugs and kisses and told everything is going to be okay that bad man is going to get a bann hammer thrown at them

Seriously guys? People like you are the reason many gamers get the label of 'social nitwit'. Can't believe there are actually still people who are this freaking clueless. People kill themselves over being bullied relentlessly. Do you really think people would actually KILL themselves, if the words, feelings of inferiority and rejection didn't hurt them to the bone? Who the f are you to judge these people for apparently being 'soft skinned'. Yea, colour me triggered.

Darth_Apache · February 2017

Koensol wrote: »

notimetocare wrote: »

lol... Cyber bullying... I remember when bullying broke bones...

Seriously though, what happened to teaching kids to have a thick skin? Sure it is pretty messed up to say these things, but what real harm has been done? Only eay someone gets hurt is by hurting themselves, and if someone saying stuff like this makes someone hurt themselves they need far more help that a report button.

FloppyTouch wrote: »

notimetocare wrote: »

lol... Cyber bullying... I remember when bullying broke bones...

Seriously though, what happened to teaching kids to have a thick skin? Sure it is pretty messed up to say these things, but what real harm has been done? Only eay someone gets hurt is by hurting themselves, and if someone saying stuff like this makes someone hurt themselves they need far more help that a report button.

But feeling where hurt! They need hugs and kisses and told everything is going to be okay that bad man is going to get a bann hammer thrown at them

Seriously guys? People like you are the reason many gamers get the label of 'social nitwit'. Can't believe there are actually still people who are this freaking clueless. People kill themselves over being bullied relentlessly. Do you really think people would actually KILL themselves, if the words, feelings of inferiority and rejection didn't hurt them to the bone? Who the f are you to judge these people for apparently being 'soft skinned'. Yea, colour me triggered.