Confessions of an ESO Player...Why I took a 2-year hiatus

arena25 · February 2017

Hey, everyone, since I'm growing increasingly depressed...I thought I'd try and get some weight off my back before I go to class today.

Anyway, as some of you forum veterans can gather by looking at my posts up until recently, I took a couple years off ESO due to lack of available disk space and to get a new laptop.

However, those only account for 75% of the reason behind the hiatus. The other 25% was due to one type of monster, commonly seen in later zones and also in Betnikh...wasps.

Now, you may be thinking...Are you crazy, Arena25? How can wasp NPC's force you to take a 2-year hiatus? I'll tell you.

Even though I'm legally an adult now (18 years of age), ever since I was young, I've been afraid of insects. I also had, until recently, a small bout of arachnophobia.

Over my teenage years, I've shaked off ladybugs, flies, and my arachnophobia. But I am still afraid of bees and wasps.

And unfortunately, every time I am forced to fight a wasp, the noises it makes sounds like a real wasp buzzing in my ear. This unfortunately triggers my phobia of stinging insects.

As a result, I have grown afraid of venturing into Betnikh, Deshaan, or other areas where wasp monsters are common, just because I fear of triggering my phobia.

And unfortunately, this is why I have never been able to get the Hero of the Covenant/Pact/Dominion achievements, and probably never will.

I'm not looking for any type of sympathy. I'm just posting this to try and get some weight off my back and hopefully go to college class today with a better attitude than I am currently.

Anyway, I'm off. See you all later.

Signed,
Arena25

ZiRM · February 2017

I'll read that later...

AlnilamE · February 2017

Yikes! That is totally understandable. They are very realistic sounding and they weird me out a bit too.

Have you tried turning off sounds when fighting them? Do you think that could help?

Tempah · February 2017

Wouldn't it be good to kill them in game and try and get rid of your fear? I hate them too in rl but not in game but I might be alot different then you. good luck though.

Hand_Bacon · February 2017

We all have our limitations, good luck with yours.

I never could commit to a number of women I dated that were swimmers. Broad shoulders on a woman...shudders...reminds me of a scary episode of Arliss.

runagate · February 2017

Hand_Bacon wrote: »

We all have our limitations, good luck with yours.

I never could commit to a number of women I dated that were swimmers. Broad shoulders on a woman...shudders...reminds me of a scary episode of Arliss.

One of which being that some people cynically manipulate others with false apologies in a long history of such yet people seem to forget every time.

Turelus · February 2017

Damn that sucks man.

As someone who has (and does) suffer from depression and anxiety I can understand where you're coming from in some regards. I took a break from the game last year for six months because of a lot of things getting to me and ESO no longer working as my relaxing escape (I started taking it all too seriously, especially the cheating/exploiting).

Have you tried speaking to a professional about the phobia and seeing if there is anything they can do to help you out? Not sure where you're from but in the UK you can have free counselling in short weekly phone sessions now free via the NHS (my local one was http://www.steps2wellbeing.co.uk/)

Also if the sound is what triggers it have you tried turning the volume off in these zones to see if you're able to get through just reading the quest texts etc.
Maybe speak to a good friend about coming over yours and clearing the zones for you as well so you can earn the achievements?

DRXHarbinger · February 2017

Why be scared when you can...
Burn
Stab
Bash
Crush
Magic kill
Meteor
Zap
Give them an arrow to the knee
Radiant
Punch
Freeze
Poison
Infect
Have your Bat minions feast on them
Have spiders eat them, Ironic (trapping webs)
Fake Suicide bomb
them all to death...and many many more.

Dhukath · February 2017

With such a serious phobia wasps/spiders, maybe seek outside help either hypnosis, aversion therapy or CBT.

I personally had a very severe fear of horses (related to an incident when a toddler) CBT and AT helped me.

Faulgor · February 2017

arena25 wrote: »

Even though I'm legally an adult now (18 years of age), ever since I was young, I've been afraid of insects. I also had, until recently, a small bout of arachnophobia.

Got nothing to do with being an adult. Wouldn't that be nice if all our fears stopped when we become adults?
Sadly, phobias can develop at any point in your life, but that also means there's no reason to think of it as something immature.

And hell yeah, screw wasps. Once one got stuck in my hair, but I didn't know what it was. So I reached at the back of my head and that little !$@# stung me in the hand. Been incredibly terrified of them ever since; if I know one is around but I can't see it I immediately assume it's sneaking up on me to crawl in my hair, lol.

... that probably doesn't help, sorry.

Jim_Pipp · February 2017

Sometimes it is a priveledge to see the comments that this community make.

I hope you felt better when you went to class. Reading this thread made me happier.

jaye63 · February 2017

I've been bitten twice by a black widow and was in the desert at night and was jumped on by Tarantulas so I feel your phobia with every spider fight. My comment is usually... why is there always spiders? But I dont let that stop me from smashing them.

Turelus · February 2017

Jim_Pipp wrote: »

Sometimes it is a priveledge to see the comments that this community make.

I hope you felt better when you went to class. Reading this thread made me happier.

I like to believe that no matter how immature, rude and idiotic any community can be when it comes to matters which have effect on our real lives we put it aside and remember we're all humans trying to make it in this wacky world.

I consider myself to be lucky that I spent years as part of the EVE Online community, where they really go above and beyond for one another and even run a program called "Broadcast for Reps (repairs)" which is a community run help line for those who really need someone to talk to.

There have also been several incidents where players have passed away and the community has raise money via funding sites to help them through the hard times. It's truly uplifting to see.

Lynx7386 · February 2017

I'm a huge arachnophobe but I have no problem murdering giant spiders with gusto in games. It's my way of getting revenge on the eight legged freaks

zaria · February 2017

Tempah wrote: »

Wouldn't it be good to kill them in game and try and get rid of your fear? I hate them too in rl but not in game but I might be alot different then you. good luck though.

Might work, I cured my sisters fear for crabs by first finding an very tiny one and then scaled up
Fear for spiders is an more common issue in game.

cpuScientist · February 2017

zaria wrote: »

Tempah wrote: »

Wouldn't it be good to kill them in game and try and get rid of your fear? I hate them too in rl but not in game but I might be alot different then you. good luck though.

Might work, I cured my sisters fear for crabs by first finding an very tiny one and then scaled up
Fear for spiders is an more common issue in game.

My sister cured her crabs in a vastly different way....

Hand_Bacon · February 2017

cpuScientist wrote: »

My sister cured her crabs in a vastly different way....

lmao

Rouven · February 2017

I consider myself lucky of not being afflicted by any condition like this - or at least I have not come across it yet.

I couldn't help but notice that you mentioned the sound though, potentially it could help to turn it off? Listen to music instead.

All the best in your travels!

KaiDynasty · February 2017

You could switch OFF the volume when fighting a wasp ...

esotoon · February 2017

As someone with mild arachnophobia I can sympathise, and as others say, age makes no difference.

If it is the sound that triggers you though, as Rouven suggested, turn the sound off, or at least adjust the settings so the dialogue sound is up, and the other effects are down. Due to other issues, I often play with no sound at all, and it's not really much of a hindrance, especially when you adjust to it. You just have to be a little more observant of your surroundings and your proximitey to mobs, as you pass by. Which is no bad thing to become more skilled in.

Hope your depression eases soon and you are able to explore further afield in Tamriel.

arena25 · February 2017

Faulgor wrote: »

arena25 wrote: »

Even though I'm legally an adult now (18 years of age), ever since I was young, I've been afraid of insects. I also had, until recently, a small bout of arachnophobia.

Got nothing to do with being an adult. Wouldn't that be nice if all our fears stopped when we become adults?
Sadly, phobias can develop at any point in your life, but that also means there's no reason to think of it as something immature.

And hell yeah, screw wasps. Once one got stuck in my hair, but I didn't know what it was. So I reached at the back of my head and that little !$@# stung me in the hand. Been incredibly terrified of them ever since; if I know one is around but I can't see it I immediately assume it's sneaking up on me to crawl in my hair, lol.

... that probably doesn't help, sorry.

I also have been stung once when I was equipment manager for the high school team.

During one summer workout, because of the fact that it was hot and humid and people were drinking Gatorade and then throwing them in the wastebaskets on the sideline, the entire stadium turned into a bee and wasp paradise.

So, after running about and getting footballs to the right places after pre-practice was over, I was out of breath by the time I got a break. I stood up straight and was in the process of placing my hands on my head (which improves respiration/circulation better than bending over, something the Fighters Guild in Auridon needs to learn), when I felt a sharp pain in my right hand.

"Ow!" I checked my hands, and lo and behold...a yellow jacket (which looks like a bee, but is actually a type of wasp) had stung me on the top of my dominant hand and was going for a second sting. Luckily, I swatted it away from my hand (which killed the little %##^) before it stung me a second time.

The rest of the day was miserable. Despite the Benadryl topical cream the trainers applied (due to the medications I take, I cannot take Benadryl orally, I can only use the cream), pain was incredible. And yes, it only served to increase my phobia.

Anyway, I still feel depressed, but at least the sun is shining...even though it will be brief.

Nocturnalan · February 2017

Need a safe place butter cup?

arena25 · February 2017

Rouven wrote: »

I consider myself lucky of not being afflicted by any condition like this - or at least I have not come across it yet.

I couldn't help but notice that you mentioned the sound though, potentially it could help to turn it off? Listen to music instead.

All the best in your travels!

The problem with turning sound off is that some abilities I only recognize by sound (for instance, lurchers make a specific noise every time they cast their specific spell, and unfortunately the radiating dark red lines against a dark green/black body don't contrast well). But I will try that suggestion the next time I'm dealing with wasps.

Now to get some lunch and hope that the next class doesn't break me.

SolarCat02 · February 2017

Good luck with classes!

While I do not have any fears that translate to in-game situations, I understand first hand the impact those sorts of things have in real life. I hope the sound adjustments help.

I don't know if this will help or not, but if the pain of a sting (in real life, of course) is part of your fear, there are these really awesome topical painkillers for stings and such. They are amazing and work instantly.
They are typically small tubes full of green liquid, with an application swab on the end. To use them, you squeeze the middle to snap the divider and get the active ingredients to mix, then apply the swab to the stink. They look like this (linked, because there is a wasp picture on the packaging):
http://sting-kill.com/wp-content/themes/StingKill/images/product-swabs.jpg

roglog · February 2017

I was probably 5 or 6, possibly younger and rolling around on the front lawn playing i felt sharp warm stings, freaked out i run into the house and it was wasp(s), got several bites on my back.
Dunno lucky i guess no phobia arose, really didn't even remember until i read this post, was back out playing within 15 minutes, got some tlc from mom, some ointment, good to go. Thinking about it I'm probably more mindful of bee's, wasps then others seem to be.

HatchetHaro · February 2017

ZiRM wrote: »

I'll read that later...

Completely *** insensitive.
Shame on you.

RoyalPink06 · February 2017

I'm deathly afraid of spiders in real life. Actually bees/wasps too. Plus they are ***. One time my little dog accidently trampled a nest that was in the ground and she got swarmed and stung a bunch of times. She even had 1 or 2 get caught up in the long hair on her ears. She was a miserable pile of puffy moosh for a few days, but thankfully she was okay.

In game, I avoid the spiders as much as possible. Not so much cuz they trigger the fear, but more so because I cannot stand that annoying squealing sound they make. I can actually feel my blood pressure go up when I hear that sound. Most annoying sound ever.

I feel you, my friend, I feel you. The struggle is real. Hope your day gets better

BlackSparrow · February 2017

Ugh, that sucks. If my biggest phobia (fire) was triggered by the game, I wouldn't be able to complete large parts of it either.

Keep plugging along with classes. Reward yourself with a treat afterwards, like ice cream or something. That's what I do to help keep my own Bad Days in check.

UrQuan · February 2017

Hey @arena25 have you thought about grouping up with someone to do those areas? As in: someone who can scout ahead of where you're going and warn you if there are wasps ahead, and kill them before you get there? If you're PC/NA and the timing lines up, I'd be happy to give you a hand by doing this.

Rational or not (and frankly a phobia of wasps is closer to the rational end of the scale than it is to the not rational end), phobias are something to take seriously.

Resfeber · February 2017

Related but not entirely: There were actually quite a few people who were asking about spider replacement mods when Skyrim SE came out. (Aka, people who were crippled by how realistic Skyrim's spiders were but wanted to still play.) This is actually a lot more common than you think, it's just that few people talk about it.

cpuScientist · February 2017

So I wenr out hiking once with a buddy of mine, to this cave that has 5 entrances and the wind blew in really hard and had a pretty sound and lighting yaddah yaddah so it's really neat you can get there through land crappy retain or boat/kyak rough waters and sharp rocks on shore.

We chose to hike it and went through some woods and rambled on rocks in the water. But eventually we came to what we jokingly call a slight incline, it was a steep arse hill that we had to climb so my buddy being a smaller light fellow slinked up quickly me being a bit bigger and taller and inexperienced I tried to get footing and all that, so I grabbed a root from a tree about halfway up and it started to crack, so I let go and when I saw my buddies face it was pure terror, I didn't understand why but when I looked at the root. Mere inches away from where I had my hand on that same root I disturbed was a giant ****ING hornets nest. How I did not hear or see them I don't know. Scared the hell outta me.

I jumped down and went back right there it was a sign lol so now I play ESO to kill hornets and frolick in caves.