Chet Bot strikes again.

Yours with paws
Santie Claws

Why not play a game with them?

Simply take random sentences from places such as news reports, classic novels, improv comedy or memes such as "who was phone" or even make up your own and submit them into support tickets and see what they come back with. No-one reads the damn things until you post your complaint on here so it'd be essentially having some cheap fun with their bots. Can post the results in a thread to see who got the most obscure response.

I am going to go a different route and show you the good side of it.

This was when I was on PC a little over a year ago. Enjoy the wall of words!!!

My first ticket for help:

Hello,

I really do not know what category to put this under. Maybe operator head space. Last night some fellow guildies and I conquered Dragon Star Arena, yea I know it it like 6 months late but still. We got it done. Well designed by the way, it was a blast to run through.
But I digress and back to the reason for this email. After beating the last boss and being lifted higher then my fear of heights ever allowed me to go, I mean white knuckling hold on my computer chair out of fear of you suddenly dropping me to my death out of some sick joke.. ok back on track, seriously this time.
I opened the final reward chest when it teleports you back and received a Ring of the Healer. I linked it in my guild chat and group and we were all excited. I don't think I put it in my inventory before I walked out of the arena. Yes, shocking I know, a player of my magnanimous stature messing up is kind of a myth, like a unicorn or a Cleveland Browns Super Bowl Ring.
I honestly know that there might not be anything you can do for me, but I figured I could try. I appreciate your time in reading this, and I hope you got a good laugh, I am sure these are not always enjoyable. If there is nothing I can do I understand, it was a simple mistake.
Thank you and KCCO!!!

Zenimax Responce:

First of all, congratulations for beating DSA! Then, I'm sorry to hear you forgot your ring in the final chest.

I'm sending you this email to let you know I've sent you the item by in game mail, so you should find it for your next login in game. I couldn't let someone of your magnanimous stature without his reward, especially after you lived an awful moment spent soaring up endlessly!

Please note that that kind of item restoration is given only exceptionally and that we won't always be able to grant another one.

Please reply to this ticket if you have any other questions and we will respond to you as soon as we can.

Warm Regards,
Damien, from The Elder Scroll Online team


I hope this gives you a laugh. I continue to play this game because of their support. Keep it up!!!

ThePaleItalian wrote: »

I am going to go a different route and show you the good side of it.

This was when I was on PC a little over a year ago. Enjoy the wall of words!!!

My first ticket for help:

Hello,

I really do not know what category to put this under. Maybe operator head space. Last night some fellow guildies and I conquered Dragon Star Arena, yea I know it it like 6 months late but still. We got it done. Well designed by the way, it was a blast to run through.
But I digress and back to the reason for this email. After beating the last boss and being lifted higher then my fear of heights ever allowed me to go, I mean white knuckling hold on my computer chair out of fear of you suddenly dropping me to my death out of some sick joke.. ok back on track, seriously this time.
I opened the final reward chest when it teleports you back and received a Ring of the Healer. I linked it in my guild chat and group and we were all excited. I don't think I put it in my inventory before I walked out of the arena. Yes, shocking I know, a player of my magnanimous stature messing up is kind of a myth, like a unicorn or a Cleveland Browns Super Bowl Ring.
I honestly know that there might not be anything you can do for me, but I figured I could try. I appreciate your time in reading this, and I hope you got a good laugh, I am sure these are not always enjoyable. If there is nothing I can do I understand, it was a simple mistake.
Thank you and KCCO!!!

Zenimax Responce:

First of all, congratulations for beating DSA! Then, I'm sorry to hear you forgot your ring in the final chest.

I'm sending you this email to let you know I've sent you the item by in game mail, so you should find it for your next login in game. I couldn't let someone of your magnanimous stature without his reward, especially after you lived an awful moment spent soaring up endlessly!

Please note that that kind of item restoration is given only exceptionally and that we won't always be able to grant another one.

Please reply to this ticket if you have any other questions and we will respond to you as soon as we can.

Warm Regards,
Damien, from The Elder Scroll Online team


I hope this gives you a laugh. I continue to play this game because of their support. Keep it up!!!

There are ACTUAL HUMANS who work at ZO$!?! This is very insightful, thank you.

We had an issue getting the dungeon finder to queue our usual group of four after the Thieves Guild update. Only one of us was VR16, so we needed the scaling if we wanted helm drops for our VR16 member. We could get it to work with three of us, but not all four for some reason. The ticket started out promising after the initial false start, but I lost faith after my detailed response to questions was answered with an unrelated tutorial about how to avoid the scaling.
I have omitted some of the text (intros, the more technical details, etc) for the sake of some semblance of brevity, but I have not edited any of the actual words.


Me:
Before the Thieves Guild update, our four-person dungeon group could scale dungeons to VR16 using the group finder. We have not discovered how to do this after the update. How do we scale it to VR16 so everyone gets decent drops? We are hunting for a monster helm for our highest ranking member, and the lack of scaling has made this impossible.

ZOS:
I am sorry to hear that you recently had an issue with the group finder. The Grouping tools were not removed, in fact they were expanded quite a bit in the last patch, however they are now in a new section called Activity Finder.

Me:
I have been using the Activity Finder.
I used to be able to scale dungeons to VR16 using the old group finder even when we had four people from my guild.
The activity finder no longer seems to do this.

HOW DO I SCALE A DUNGEON TO VR16 WITH A GROUP OF FOUR PEOPLE I KNOW SO PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT LEVELS CAN HELP MY VR16 GUILDMATE GET A VR16 HELM DROP?

ZOS:
Insert intelligent questions about the details of the issue, trying to identify the root cause. This was a really long email with all sorts of requests for information, some related to the issue and others just in case it pertained. <I was really getting hopeful here!>

Me:
We have a usual dungeon group, ranging from VR6 VR16 (VR6, VR8, VR10, VR16). We are trying to run Wayrest Sewers scaled to VR16 so our highest ranking member can get the helm for his gear set. Unfortunately with the changes to Activity Finder our options seem to be... <snip>

ZOS:
Hello,
As part of the larger overhaul, when using the Group Finder to complete group dungeons, all groups members are now scaled up to Veteran Rank 16, along with the dungeons themselves. Scaling everything to a uniform level helps to improve queue times by allowing players of all levels and alliances to play together.
Keep in mind, a dungeon scaled to Veteran Rank 16 is not necessarily a "veteran dungeon". Veteran dungeons contain different quests, bosses, loot, and stories to that of their non-veteran counterparts, regardless of level scaling. Veteran Rank players can choose between normal or veteran modes from the Group Finder.
If you prefer to avoid level scaling, that can be done as well. If you bypass the Group Finder and create a group by inviting players directly, the group members will not scale at all, and the dungeon itself will scale to the group leader's level.
If you have any more questions/comments/concerns please let us know and we will do our best to help you.

Thank you for contacting us!

Me:
I WANT dungeon scaling and I WANT to pick all four people in the group.
How do I do BOTH?

ZOS:
Thanks for contacting The Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited. Group dungeons scale differently, depending on whether or not the Group Finder tool is used.

When forming a group with the Group Finder tool, all group members scale to max level, allowing players of all levels and alliances to play together.
Players in the dungeon will scale to Veteran Rank 16.
Enemies in the dungeon will scale to Veteran Rank 16.
Loot will scale to player level.
When forming a group without the Group Finder tool (manually inviting players), dungeons scale to the level of the group leader with some caveats:
Dungeon scaling is determined by the group leader upon the group entering the dungeon. This scaling does not change if the level of the group leader does or the group changes leaders after it enters the dungeon.
Dungeons do not scale past Veteran Rank 12 at this time with some exceptions: Veteran City of Ash, White-Gold Tower, and Imperial City Prison.
Item drops also scale either to the level of the monster or to the receiving player character, whichever value is lower.
The following group content does scale:
Group Dungeons
Veteran Dungeons
The following group content does not scale:
Delves
Craglorn Delves
Overland Content
Public Dungeons
Trials
Please let me know if you have any questions. Thanks for your continued interest and support!

Me:
So what you are saying us that if I want to run a dungeon, scaled to VR16, with four people of my choosing, this is now impossible with the new updates?

We used to be able to do it in the old system.

Please add this ability back into the game. We really enjoyed being able to run dungeons with the guild where everyone got useful drops for their level! And now you broke that.

ZOS:
We are genuinely interested in your feedback!
<link to forums, etc>

The rest of the ticket is me trying to slog my way through their help desk to actually get a forum account set up.

My favorite is when you report a player for using a known exploit or cheat in PVP and they tell you to ignore them....

ThePaleItalian wrote: »

I am going to go a different route and show you the good side of it.

This was when I was on PC a little over a year ago. Enjoy the wall of words!!!

My first ticket for help:

Hello,

I really do not know what category to put this under. Maybe operator head space. Last night some fellow guildies and I conquered Dragon Star Arena, yea I know it it like 6 months late but still. We got it done. Well designed by the way, it was a blast to run through.
But I digress and back to the reason for this email. After beating the last boss and being lifted higher then my fear of heights ever allowed me to go, I mean white knuckling hold on my computer chair out of fear of you suddenly dropping me to my death out of some sick joke.. ok back on track, seriously this time.
I opened the final reward chest when it teleports you back and received a Ring of the Healer. I linked it in my guild chat and group and we were all excited. I don't think I put it in my inventory before I walked out of the arena. Yes, shocking I know, a player of my magnanimous stature messing up is kind of a myth, like a unicorn or a Cleveland Browns Super Bowl Ring.
I honestly know that there might not be anything you can do for me, but I figured I could try. I appreciate your time in reading this, and I hope you got a good laugh, I am sure these are not always enjoyable. If there is nothing I can do I understand, it was a simple mistake.
Thank you and KCCO!!!

Zenimax Responce:

First of all, congratulations for beating DSA! Then, I'm sorry to hear you forgot your ring in the final chest.

I'm sending you this email to let you know I've sent you the item by in game mail, so you should find it for your next login in game. I couldn't let someone of your magnanimous stature without his reward, especially after you lived an awful moment spent soaring up endlessly!

Please note that that kind of item restoration is given only exceptionally and that we won't always be able to grant another one.

Please reply to this ticket if you have any other questions and we will respond to you as soon as we can.

Warm Regards,
Damien, from The Elder Scroll Online team


I hope this gives you a laugh. I continue to play this game because of their support. Keep it up!!!

I have had similar responses from support. It seems to be 50/50 though. Half the time, it is the best support in any mmo, but then the other half it sinks to the bottom to be the worse support. There does not seem to be an in-between.

Back when Cyrodiil was being invaded by cheat engine meteors I filed a report saying one person is flying around Cyrodiil casting dozens of meteors on my head . They said I should be putting them on ignore if I did not like their behavior . So I put them on ignore and tried ignoring their flying and meteors but it did not work . So I wrote new report saying this one is ignoring players meteors but is still dying from meteors on ignore . Customer service recommended I put them on ignore again . It took a week for them to realize ignoring players does not stop them from using meteors cheat .