What do you call a pile of Khajiit?

Rylana · July 2016

Usually a pile of dead khajiit are the zerg of AD nightblades my group just rekt.

Roechacca · July 2016

OP marked for termination.

starkerealm · July 2016

Roehamad_Ali wrote: »

UltimaJoe777 wrote: »

Roehamad_Ali wrote: »

Dats racist

It's only racist if it's untrue and/or insulting, or just plain antagonizing.

Never has this one stole a horse , Roe is innocent of this crime !

At least until they add horse theft into justice system ...

Pacrooti wrote:

Dear friend, you would tell Pacrooti if you thought he was being facetious, would you not? The local innkeeper tells Pacrooti that Pacrooti is not to be trusted, but can't give a good reason why. All Pacrooti has done is sleep in his room and take objects left in the open. He has never once told a lie or attempted an immoral act.

Altaire · July 2016

Best OP post ever, so far.
Will add a JK later so if it's 'FILTERABLE" you get your awesome;)

Altaire · July 2016

Two orcs are walking down a path, They see a wolf licking it's balls.
First orc says to other, "I Wish I could do that".
Second orc says, "Maybe you should try petting it first..."

SantieClaws · July 2016

Khajiit is not a pile. She just looks naturally lumpy when she sleeps yes.

Yours with paws
Santie Claws

logosloki · July 2016

rhapsodious wrote: »

Get out. Right meow.

I love Wood Elf jokes.
A skeleton walks into the tavern and says, "I'd like some rotmeth. And a mop."

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.

Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.

Person One: Ask me if I'm a tree.
Person Two: Are you a tree?
Person One: No.

Q. Which side of a raven has the most feathers?
A. The outside.

Q. What has three heads, is ugly, and smells?
A. My mistake! You don't have three heads!

Q. What's light as a feather, but cannot be held for very long?
A. Breath.

Q. Imagine your boat's sinking in slaughterfish-infested waters. How do you survive?
A. Stop imagining!

Q. Why do thunderbugs eat raw meat?
A. They never learned to cook.

Q. Why do bees buzz?
A. Because they can't whistle.

That Lorebook was the best. I found it at 0100 and immediately started reading it out on teamspeak. It was a goof, a gaff, a spoof and a laugh.

Vangy · July 2016

Three bosmer walk into a restaurant. One walks crawls out thrice as heavy. =X

GreenSoup2HoT · July 2016

THE STAR FARMING BEGINS! YOU HEARD IT FROM ME FIRIST!

Altaire · July 2016

How do you confuse a Altmer? give her a map.
How do you further confuse a Altmer? you unfold it...

UltimaJoe777 · July 2016

GreenSoup2HoT wrote: »

THE STAR FARMING BEGINS! YOU HEARD IT FROM ME FIRIST!

So is that the punchline or what? Another one from me I suppose...

What's black or white but red all over?

That guy you just killed

...Thought I'd say Redguard didn't ya?

thisisScoMan · July 2016

A Nord walks out of a bar.

UltimaJoe777 · July 2016

thisisScoMan wrote: »

A Nord walks out of a bar.

Lies.

Oh wait that's the joke. My bad

starkerealm · July 2016

GreenSoup2HoT wrote: »

THE STAR FARMING BEGINS! YOU HEARD IT FROM ME FIRIST!

I envy you, sir. You can still farm Awesomes. All I can farm are Insightfuls... well, and spam posts that serve no purpose.

Banana · July 2016

Crab pot bait

Ep1kMalware · July 2016

a pile of ***!

I don't like cats

Bad_Company · July 2016

A Nord walks into a tavern.
He sees the most beautiful female orc he has ever seen.
The Nord decides he'll win her heart.
First, he goes to the tailor. Unfortunately he has to wait in line.
He goes to the stables to buy a white horse, but there's a long line and he has to wait.
Then he goes to the flower shop, but again there are many people in line.
He goes back to the female orc and she tells him he has to do one more thing: bring her some punch.
So he goes inside the tavern, but there's no punchline.

Duiwel · July 2016

@Lord_Draevan

Lord_Draevan wrote: »

Here's a conversion of an old Lord of the Rings joke from wwwaaayyy back in the day:

A Dominion army is marching off to battle when they pass Blue Road Keep. They hear a shout from within:

"One Pact soldier is worth ten Dominion soldiers!"

Enraged, the Dominion general immediately sends his ten best over the wall. There's the sound of an intense battle, then silence. Then from the keep:

"One Pact soldier is worth a hundred Dominion soldiers!"

The Dominion general sends a hundred more troops over the wall. Again there's the sounds of a fierce battle, then silence. Someone within laughs and cries out:

"One Pact soldier is worth a thousand Dominion soldiers!"

Infuriated, the general sends in all his remaining troops, leaving only himself outside. After several minutes, a single wounded Dominion soldier comes crawling out. The Dominion general runs over to him and asks:

"By the Eight, what happened in there?"

The soldier utters with his dying breath:

"It...was a trap... there were... TWO of them!"

I laughed so hard mate

Shader_Shibes · July 2016

A pile of Khajiit.

starkerealm · July 2016

"Lazy."

BruhItsOver9000 · July 2016

You want to hear the best joke...

NO ETA

tinythinker · July 2016

What do you call a Nord and his Dark Elf friend?

Dumb and Dunmer

BruhItsOver9000 · July 2016

tinythinker wrote: »

What do you call a Nord and his Dark Elf friend?
Dumb and Dunmer

Lmao, more dude post more. Here have my awesome.

altemriel · July 2016

"that skooma hit the khajiit took was way too huge"

PS4_ZeColmeia · July 2016

A hungry Khajiit breaks into an Argonian house, and chokes on one of its eggs. How is the death deemed by the cornor?

An Eggxecution

What do you call a group of nords that getting together?

A mead up

What's a cool Altmer called?

Dunmer

How can you tell the difference between a male and female Orsimer?

Just look for the one that's not fugly, um wait...

Actually_Goku · July 2016

What do you call a dead Altmer Prince?

You can put your own Naemon it.

What do Khajiit use to drive to work?

A Razum-car.

How do I know the Queen likes girls?

Ayrenn it by her.

Rohamad_Ali · July 2016

Ep1kMalware wrote: »

a pile of ***!

I don't like cats

Sweet mother , sweet mother , send your child unto me ...

Saoirse_Siobhan · July 2016

Gave this joke a Tamrielic twist :

A Khajiit and a Wood Elf Walk up to a market stall.

The Khajiit whisks three rabbit pasties into his pocket with lightning speed.
The baker doesn't notice.

The Khajiit says to the Wood Elf:
"You see how clever this one is? You will never beat that!"

The Wood Elf says to the Khajiit:
"Watch this, a Wood Elf is always cleverer than a Khajiit."

He says to the baker,
"Give me a rabbit pasty, I can show you a magic trick!"

The baker gives him the pasty which the Wood Elf promptly eats.
Then he says to the baker:
"Give me another pasty for my magic trick."

The baker is getting suspicious but he gives it to him. He eats this one too.

Then he says again:
"Give me one more pasty... "

The baker is getting angry now but gives him one anyway. The Wood Elf eats this one too.

Now the baker is really mad, and he yells:
"And where is your famous magic trick?"

The Wood Elf says:
"Look in the Khajiit's pocket!"

Birdovic · July 2016

Roehamad_Ali wrote: »

UltimaJoe777 wrote: »

Roehamad_Ali wrote: »

Dats racist

It's only racist if it's untrue and/or insulting, or just plain antagonizing.

Never has this one stole a horse , Roe is innocent of this crime !

At least until they add horse theft into justice system ...

Grand Theft Horse: Tamriel?

dodgehopper_ESO · July 2016

Roehamad_Ali wrote: »

UltimaJoe777 wrote: »

Roehamad_Ali wrote: »

Dats racist

It's only racist if it's untrue and/or insulting, or just plain antagonizing.

Never has this one stole a horse , Roe is innocent of this crime !

At least until they add horse theft into justice system ...

This reminds me of the skyrim intro, 'You'll never get me!' :P