Serjustwhy wrote: »

I am a very shy person. I have always been and always will. Until I can fix this. I am not sure how. I harldy every talk in groups nor make any conversations. I am on ps4 eu sever. I mostly pvp. I have a dc character and started a ep character just recently. I however will be working on my ep character for a while in pvp. I er.. I not sure if I suppose to put this. But I am kinda even more shy towards women then men. ( I really mean no offense. I appoligise if I did) However I want to change who I am. Who I want to become. A person who is not shy of anyone or anything. A person is not afraid to speak up. But it really hard. I have a mic as well. (But hardly never use it) I get hives? Nervous breakdown. Etc. I usually play eso everyday. I will also mostly be playing on my ep character now as well. But will come to my dc character from time to time. Any female gamers who want to help me out or play eso together in ep pact are more then welcome to join me. Just forgive me about me quite. Please let me know. Any males to. With my shyness problem many thanks. i am begging. (Literally) I also forgot to mention I on ps4. European servers. Ebonheart and Daggerfall. Many thanks. Again sorry if I offended. Not mean to. Also is it safe for me to post my psn gamertag here as well?

puffy99 wrote: »

Prabooo wrote: »

DUDE... DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY OF THIS BS... YOU DO NOT NEED ANTIDEPRESSANTS, YOU NEED AYAHUASCA

Well most people don't live in the Peruvian jungle and smash leaves to get their high- hopefully without dying or throwing up.
But to each their own champ.

Alucardo wrote: »

I feel you man. I had serious shyness problems a few years ago. I would literally freeze in front of people, blocking them and everything out. They thought I was insane, but I was just scared to speak.
I do have HFA (High Functioning Autism), so that doesn't help my social awkwardness any either. But you know what? It's not so bad any more.
Funnily enough I chose a job that would absolutely scare the crap out of me (IT support OVER THE PHONE). Over time my peers would tell me how confident I was beginning to sound while on calls, and it got to the point where I'd even have random conversations with the clients. One night I even worked an hour late chatting with some lady after fixing her email.
I'm now working as a software developer for a very small company. They are quite supportive and it's not too bad of a place to work. They're pretty quiet, so I can initiate conversations whenever I'm ready.
I'm by no means a doctor or anything, but like you, I suffered from shyness, and in a bad way. I just wanted to tell you it got better for me, and it can for you too. It's not easy and takes time, but I know you'll beat it. You've already started where I did and tried forcing yourself to speak to people, and I think that's great. Just take it slow and you'll get there eventually.
I just wish I had ESO on the console with mic instead of IT support when I was learning to control it, haha.

Good luck to you man.

Purdomination33 wrote: »

Hey man, I am not a doctor but I have 2 sisters who are in different psychiatric professions. One actually called right after I read your post so I asked her about it. Her specialization is behavioral and psychological testing for children and young adults.

If you are having true panic attacks and physical reactions I think it's safe to say you suffer from more than simply being shy. First, consult your physician (not sure if European medical practices differ) and tell him exactly what you told us. He will likely refer you to a specialist. Most specialists are very good at making you feel comfortable enough to talk about your life in order to make a prognosis. If your day to day life is negatively effected by anxiety, panic attacks, etc., anti-anxiety or anti-depression medication may be recommended. They will also offer ways to minimize the frequency or severity of panic attacks outside of simple medication. Anti-anxiety medications get a bad name because people often abuse them but they were created for a reason and truly help those who need them.

Also, don't forget this is simply a game. Never apologize for speaking up especially if what you have to say is constructive. Get out of the habit of 'hedging your statements' by beginning a sentence with "I am sorry for speaking up but....." or "I know you guys know better than I do but..." Just say what you mean. People will listen. We are all human after-all. Except for Nightblades, they are usually cats so have no soul like most cats. Just sayin.....

I thank you for these suggetions. You are right it is a game. I always feel like I have to appologise. What you say is so true. that is exactly how I been thinking. Thinking everyone is right. Etc... I agree and your right. We are all humans. lol about nightblades. Many thanks

xerasia wrote: »

Hey friend.
Not sure my comment is too helpful as I'm NA/XB1, but I just wanted to add a voice of support. I think it's awesome that you're looking to overcome your shyness and wish you well. You can do it! If you ever end up with an Xbox or I end up with a PS4, I'll hit you up for some chitty-chat. It will get easier, this I promise, as long as you're putting in the effort. You're already showing your strength by confronting the fear and asking for help. Onward!

puffy99 wrote: »

Yep, check out with your doc first and see if xanex or something similar may help.
Nothing like a drug to help mellow you out when your brain wants to go haywire.

This will help you get a leg up on your anxiety situation. I wish I had this when I first started my biz career rather than just trying to "tough it out". If your body mechanics are failing you try to work it out both medically and physically.

As you age it probably wont be a big deal and you will get better at it but why wait for that to occur?
Go for it and GL.

Totalitarian wrote: »

Social issues. I know those well. I've avoided hanging out with friends to be by myself. I've done the equivalent of throwing out the only chance I've had so far at a non-platonic relationship with a woman to be by myself.

What partially changed me from near-antisocial to at least somewhat normal was my final year in High School. I had a small class (10 people) and I grew close to them. Not as if that helped, considering the two above events mentioned happened during that year. Then, going into college, while that helped, my major is small (22 people is my class size and it will decrease, because as it turns out, physics is considered among the most difficult majors).

Can I say that I'm better? Yes. Can I say I am completely different? No.

Playing ESO has helped a lot though. I play on PC, so as it turns out, it is much easier to communicate through text than it is through voice. I still have trouble calling someone on the phone. Still, an improvement none the less.


And, alas, you seem to have problems communicating with women (I assume the opposite gender of yourself, which is always a hard thing to do). Well, you'd fit in great in my physics class. Women are intimidating when you have no experience in talking to them. No matter how nice and open she may seem, if you haven't ever tried to communicate with a woman outside necessary topics, a woman will appear more intimidating than anything on the planet. Of course, once you get past that initial barrier of 'saying something (no matter the topic) to a woman is the scariest thing ever' and you, I kid you not, just do it, you'll find it easier.
Of course, I am talking about any woman, but if it is one you have feelings for, the fear is exponential. Thankfully, as a non-social person, you can probably survive for the rest of your life without a significant other (well, at least I can; I go back and forth between wanting to live in solitude, and not). That's a whole step up. And, thankfully, every passing woman is not a possible partner. Those are the women that are easily approachable for an antisocial. A friendship is much easier to deal with than a romantic partnership and probably (I can't say for certain) less volatile. But women, like all people, vary greatly in personality. So, you either seek a potential female friend out, or let one seek you out. I've had it either way. They provide a different perspective than a male. All you need to do is find one, and this goes for any friend, that has a common link. In my case, all friends in college are related to me by a common major. Of course, however, my female friend always wonders why she has no female friends (I kid you not when I say that all of her friends are men). Oh, and as a side note, many women look at something intellectually. They respect intelligence. You're in intelligent person, and if you don't think so, you're not giving yourself enough credit. Helping someone out with anything is generally enough to build a bridge.

Men, different from women, yet the same in many aspects. Men, thankfully, are more approachable, at least half are. As you can probably assume, friends are generally alike to you in many ways. So you'll often know a potential friend the moment you meet one. The key to emerging from an introverted lifestyle is to do the equivalent of force yourself to communicate, no matter how much it may hurt, it's worth it. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert, but it is very good to possess the social skills to communicate effectively, without fear or worry, to anyone, regardless of gender, or whatever else.

Of course, I may be entirely wrong about my view of your situation. I wrote to you as if you are male, and you may entirely not be. Not as if it matters in the slightest. It is very obvious that you stray from social interaction just from your writing style. Short, rushed. But I do see the informality you used in your post. Very good sign. Your courage (honestly, it's not easy to write a post like yours) in making this discussion, and the fact that you used informal language in it's composition is a very good signal of what is to come, only if you take it, however. You have some kind of connection with all us players of ESO, and I would say that it is analogous to a friendship. You're on the right path, and so long as you put in the effort to stop avoiding social interaction, you'll see yourself improve.

As humorous and stereotypical as it may sound, the secret to being able to talk with men or women (especially women) is essentially to Just Do It!