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ESO in a nutshell ...

SirAndy
SirAndy
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[Me]
An Orc, a Dark Elf and a Khajiit walk into a bar ...

[ESO_Player_1]
Bar? What kind of bar?
'Bar' is not descriptive enough, we need to know more about the bar!
[ESO_Player_2]
Yeah, how many types of drinks do they have? What is the max. occupancy?
How long have they been in business?
[ESO_Player_1]
Exactly, nobody enjoys a bar without knowing those kind of numbers.

[ESO_Player_3]
I've read every book ever published about bars. It makes me feel so much more immersed when i get drunk.
[ESO_Player_3]
I mean, even after i'm completely wasted, it still feels like i'm actually *in* the bar.
[ESO_Player_3]
This place is so much fun, i always get lost just looking at all those different labels on the bottles, don't you agree?
[ESO_Player_3][looks around and realizes nobody is listening]
Oh, ok then ...

[ESO_Player_4]
I think drinking in the bar should be easier. First i have to find a spot to even be able to talk to the bartender. Then i have to wait to get their attention. Then i have to talk to them and order a drink. And they won't give it to me until i pay for it.
Drinking in a bar is way too difficult. It should be a lot easier to get my drink!
[ESO_Player_5]
n00b! l2d! learn 2 drink ...

[ESO_Player_6]
I don't understand why i have to pay for my drinks. They should just give them away.

[LOUD_VOICE_FROM_THE_SPEAKERS]
YOUR FRIENDS JUST FINISHED THE 5 SHOTS OF WHISKEY CHALLENGE!

[ESO_Player_7]
Nobody ever wants to drink outside on the patio. Every time i ask someone to go outside with me they just ignore me and grind their drinks inside.
What's the point of even having a patio?

[ESO_Player_8]
There's a bug in my drink! Someone call the bar owner, i need all the bartenders to stop what they're doing and come over here and get that bug out of my drink now!

[ESO_Player_9][Whispers]
I like your dress, it's pretty. Wanna be my friend?

[ESO_Player_10]
This bar sucks! They don't even have 'Dom Pérignon 46'. Everyone knows that you can't have a successful bar without that.
Mark my words, this joint will be f2d in less than 3 months. Anyways, i'm out.
[ESO_Player_11]
Can i haz your drinks?

[ESO_Player_12]
I've been getting drunk in bars since 1997. And i've been in a *lot* of bars.
That makes me an expert, i know exactly how this place should be run!

[ESO_Player_13]
I'm having trouble getting into this bar. The legal drinking age in the US is too high.
Can we move the bar to the EU?




PS: Edited formatting to make reading a bit easier. I think ...
Edited by SirAndy on August 29, 2014 8:45PM
  • Tarukmockto
    Tarukmockto
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    Wait, so what happened to the Orc, the Dark Elf and the Khajiit?
    NA - DC - DK - PC
  • KitLightning
    KitLightning
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    Wait, so what happened to the Orc, the Dark Elf and the Khajiit?

    They pressed dis button...
    asdf-movie-gif-i15.gif
    ...and walked out of dat bar!

    Though I somehow think this may be a silent protest against all the mindless topics stuff around :/ Not so sure yet :blush:
    Edited by KitLightning on August 29, 2014 7:23PM
    "I'd rather be insane in a sane world, than sane in an insane world!" ~Me
    Warning - This is a spoiler and looking at it for too long may cause irrecoverable eyesight issues.
    ◔̯◔

    MechWarrior: Living Legends – Total conversion modification for Crysis Wars.

    kitlightning.deviantart
  • WldKarde
    WldKarde
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    Well done Sir!
    And well played as well!
    PC NA
    Characters formally known as Veteran 16:
    Wldkarde, Sir WldKarde , Lil-Miss WldKarde,
    Dame WldKarde Stamplar "Master Angler" "Main" ,
    Shady WldKarde, WldKarde"s Bacon, Jaded WldKarde,
    River Wldkarde
    18 Master Anglers so far
    "Dames and Sirs, take my advice, pull down your pants...and slide on the ice!" Slightly adjusted quote of Dr. Sidney Friedman from M*A*S*H
  • Resueht
    Resueht
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    I wish I could give you another awesome; all I can give is one.
    If she doesn't know the pain of cliffracers, she's too young for you.
  • cyqa
    cyqa
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    Wow, that was not what I was expecting when I clicked the thread title! That was very well done and hilarious. 1+ Awesome :p
  • vyndral13preub18_ESO
    vyndral13preub18_ESO
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    Yur stupid, their aren't 13 people left playing ESO!
  • Elad13
    Elad13
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    Zos just announced they have record numbers!!! In the forums.....The game...not so much.
  • KhajitFurTrader
    KhajitFurTrader
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    This is hilarious on so many levels... :D

    [ESO_Player_14] The bartenders so need to dilute the drink the patron over there is drinking! I mean, c'mon, he's drinking it, and I get the headache?? No fair!!
  • SirAndy
    SirAndy
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    Wait, so what happened to the Orc, the Dark Elf and the Khajiit?
    To be continued ... :D
  • RoyMallis
    RoyMallis
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    SirAndy wrote: »
    Wait, so what happened to the Orc, the Dark Elf and the Khajiit?
    To be continued ... :D

    This.
    RoyMallis wrote: »
    A Khajiit, a Dunmer and an Orc walk into a bar.

    The Khajiit says "ouch", the Dunmer ducks and the Orc says "quack".

    Please continue at ESO Joke of the Day.

    I do what I can, when I can, to provide in game help to those seeking it. @RoyMallis
  • Doc_Baconb14_ESO
    Good work OP. This was very well done. Made me happy. I like you.
  • PSLAnimal
    PSLAnimal
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    A Nord, a Breton and an Altmer walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

    Sorry. Couldn't resist.
    Animal (Ask me what the PSL stands for. Go on. Ask.)
    @PSLAnimal on the NA Megaserver
    Making people wonder just what the hell is wrong with me since 1961.
  • dsalter
    dsalter
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    came here to find funny post. wasn't disappointed :D
    PLEASE REPLY TO ME WITH @dsalter otherwise i'm likely to miss the reply if its not my own thread

    EU - [Arch Mage Dave] Altmer Sorcerer
    Fight back at the crates and boxes, together we can change things.

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