Apology and request for patience

bellanca6561n · August 2014

One of the finest players in this and other games, as well as an excellent leader on the battlefield is 66 years old. He worked his way through veterinary school by being a professional bull rider. I would put a rodeo rider up against any athlete in any sport in the world. And you don't make enough money to put yourself through a doctoral program more challenging and competitive than that to become an MD in that sport unless you're very good.

And I'm sure many people I am completely unfamiliar with who are technically senior citizens are cleansing battlefields in Cyrodiil of cocky youth. Their situational awareness is often more keen, and their judgement more astute than folks who are teenagers and, thus, don't yet have completely formed brains. That's not a knock on youth. It's just a biological fact.

Thus bad at games and old don't always go together, no more than young and good at games does.

The point is relationships and comradeship. Anything else is just....well....you might as well be playing Call of Duty.....and we're not, thank goodness

Elridge · August 2014

Anastasia wrote: »

Artemiisia wrote: »

I see a guild in the future called Old Hagz

There is an awesome multi-game group called TOG / The Older Gamers I think. I don't know if any are active here since we don't have guild tags etc.

In other games I have seen them active in they have a majority of 40+ folks but also a good mix of other ages and always seem to be the most cheerful and helpful players!

There's also The Old Timers Guild, http://www.oldtimersguild.com/vb/content.php

they were highlighted by ZOS in the guild highlights, from the few of them I spoke to, they seem like a very nice group.

To the OP, keep gaming! Glad to see gamers of all ages enjoying the game. Hopefully the elitists don't ruin them too much for people

Sonja · August 2014

hey Graywolf, if you play on EU server add me @Jovana-M , i have a lovely group of friends and we do everything there is to do in game, everyone are always in good mood, nobody ever rages or insults anyone, so feel free to join us :-)

Natjur · August 2014

I run vet dungs a lot and a few times I have done runs with non English speaking players, which means there is no way to tell them the boss mechanics and we will just wipe a few times until they learn for themselves.

Its a game, and I just go with it. Some players will have lag issues, others just slow response times, its just part of the challenge of group runs.

So if you ever need a healer or tank (V12 Templar) and your on the NA DC server, I will be willing to help.

Insignia91 · August 2014

Here is what you do in a MMO. Someone says mean things to you all you do is laugh and /ignore or if you want you can troll them back with something immature like "Your mom." Depends on my mood in which step I take to keep doing what I do and giving 0 f u c k s what others say/think.

Falmer · August 2014

Trust me, its no great loss. As we get older, we come to realize that a good portion of humanity isn't worth giving them the time of day. Make friends with the people that are worth the effort.

I would take a kind gentle elderly player as a partner over the vast bulk of the raging immature hordes every day of the week.

Sue_D_Nim · August 2014

I can add nothing to what has already been said (re: people can be real tools), but I can tell you a little story. I posted it on another thread recently and I don't want to spam it, but it does seem appropriate to the occasion.

There once was a venerable adventurer in Tamriel who had trudged all over the land looking for a place to call home.

He entered a tavern for a nice drink, sat down, and put his aching feet up on a vacant chair. When he looked around, all he could see were people running back and forth, jumping over the furniture (and over him) like lunatics, and firing off spells until the air was thick with smoke and sparks. Nobody was talking about anything but how badly they could pwn each other, their upcoming trig final, how much they hated each other's race/beliefs/opinions, what they had for sale, and sex. It was too loud, too fast, too nasty, and he crept away.

Some days later, he was welcomed to a community of small, cozy huts surrounding a central bonfire. He dug into a nice meal and listened to the conversation. It was all about babies, shopping, politics, how badly they could pwn each other, who had the best armor and weapons, and what they wanted to buy or sell. The warriors never even sat down, but ran from one battle to the next. He couldn't relate to them, and fell asleep before he finished his leg of skeever.

One day he chanced upon a group of elves, men, orcs, Argonians and Khajiit arguing amongst themselves and hurling insults. They didn't even spare him a glance, they were so absorbed. He listened long enough to realize that for all the violence with which they tried to tear apart each others' arguments, they were really all saying the same thing: that they hated it here, and they weren't too keen on each other, either. He rode on.

Finally, he reached a lovely village with breathtaking vistas everywhere he turned. People were milling around, talking to each other. Some were gearing up to go into harm's way together, while others had just returned, rubbing Ben-gay and Tiger Balm on their arthritic knees and recounting the day's adventures. Some were trading their handmade goods. Some were nodding off in their rocking chairs by the fire. Some of them had long beards. All of them had wrinkles. He was astonished. The one thing they all had in common was ... they were his age. They understood him and he understood them. They'd been around the block and had the scars and brittle bones to show for it. They were content.

"Welcome," somebody said. He sat down and put his feet up. He exchanged pictures of the grandchildren with the old sellsword next to him, sipped his ale, and sighed. He'd found his home.

Antique Ordinatus Populus just may be your home. Come visit us at http://antique-ordinatus-populus.enjin.com/home and find out. NA server. 40+ only.

tl;dr :
Over 40 and sick of hanging out with the kiddies who make fun of you because they think you're supposed to stop having fun once you're old enough to shave? Crave the company of people your own age? People who know what it's like to play with arthritis and frequent bathroom breaks (lol)? Check out http://antique-ordinatus-populus.enjin.com/home and find your groove, baby.

amm7sb14_ESO · August 2014

I love this OP.

I'm not quite as old - in fact I'm less than half this man's age, and still in peak gaming condition, BUT I am by no means a min / maxer. I build my character to satisfy my entertainment levels, not to satisfy some random gamer's ideas of what my class SHOULD be.

That said, I got whined at in a party tonight running a group dungeon because I wasn't tricked out as a tank just the way they wanted. I'm still building the character. I haven't yet reached all the pre-reqs for all the skills I want. Sorry.

But I know how to tank. And I did a pretty solid job, keeping the mobs off my healer, and the healer did a solid job keeping my health up.

But it set a tone early when this person didn't want me in the group because I wasn't specced out exactly as they wanted, griping that there was no way we could complete the dungeon as we were.

We did. With minimal deaths along the way.

OP, don't know what level you are or what faction, but I'd be happy to run a dungeon with you.

Zabalah · August 2014

Love the OP... can I have this dance?

Xeres14 · August 2014

Although it's a missed opportunity to make a friend I'm unsure if that was a bad thing in this case. Someone getting so bent out of shape over someone's perceived skill in a game may not be the best candidate for "friend material".

Tabbycat · August 2014

I find that guildies and friends are the best people to group up with to do anything. I try to avoid pug-ing as much as possible.

Don't listen to players like the one that went off on you. Just quietly add them to your ignore list and group up with someone else.

kassandratheclericb14_ESO · August 2014

I have a life...too much life sometimes which is why I play these games.

I have to admit this...because of similar issues and fears that many have expressed and because I don't have any friends in this game (with whom I would normally group and be my idiot self)...I have only grouped one single time in this game since launch. Just once. Was in a "solo" dungeon and it was just because the guy was there and nice.

I am absolutely terrified to do a group dungeon. I don't play this game to get chastised. I don't have the most effective build..I know this but I picked it to make me not die in PVE and to have fun. My characters are all "traditional" builds and so no dragon knight with a dress and a staff here. My stop, drop and roll is a bit...awkward to say the least. But I really don't die much and when I do I have plenty of shiny soul gems.

I am not a horrible player by any stretch but I am not perfect and also am not 12. I admit when I make mistakes and do everything I can to do my part. If someone is going to treat me like a child or run through content like their arse is on fire, not bothering to help anyone learn of have a good experience...it makes me not want to group. I understand the basics of my class. But if I were with someone like the OP discusses they would likely invent new curse words just for me.

So I play solo content and hopefully when I get to the Vet content I will have built up my courage and worked it all out, to do some things since I will have to if I wish to continue leveling. I know it is annoying when you only have so much time to play and someone comes along and doesn't know their class. Causing wipes over and over and making it tedious instead of fun. I always learn and am very good once I get some experience...it is getting there that is sometimes hard.

So I hope that when I do I will find some nice folks that are patient and willing to give tips and not just swear at me (and others like me.) The best part of the experience of grouping should not be the end result of the content you are doing. It should be the GROUP and the fun you have playing with someone new. Maybe making a new connection and having some fun. I cross my fingers and now I am going to go play and practice my dodge roll and interrupts.

:P

Slelis · August 2014

Aw that guy sounds like a real jerk, OP. I'd play with you any day. Don't be so hard on yourself!

Woogawoman · August 2014

+1 for Antique Ordinatus Populus. (NA server. 40+ only.) I love my guild.

DaisyK · August 2014

Man some people forget that it's a game, it's not really life or death

it sucks that you sometimes run into people like that but i've learned to ignore them.. i'd avoid cyrodil though it's full of trolls and big egos.. that's not completely fair there's nice people there too but you just have a bigger chance of 'meeting' a-holes.
I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome so i'm not sharp everytime i play, i can be slow or make mistakes (my first pc game with keyboard + mouse aswell) but i don't care what others say. i'm honest about it and i pay every month too so i'll enjoy it as much as i can damnit! ;p
That does make me more empathic towards other players, i know everyone's different and some have a hard time with things.. that's why sometimes i just offer my help for a few hours and people are always grateful

we're not all ***, just gotta run into the right people ^^
don't worry about it, don't feel bad, and do not feel guilty

zdkazz · August 2014

an individual in my guild(nito) is in his 60s and is absolutly one of the most fun people there is to play with he is a damn good healer and just a good all around person, when im 60 i will still be playing games, keep up te good fight(bet ur better than alot of these teenys lol)

Nestor · August 2014

kassandratheclericb14_ESO wrote: »

I am absolutely terrified to do a group dungeon. I don't play this game to get chastised. I don't have the most effective build..I know this but I picked it to make me not die in PVE and to have fun. My characters are all "traditional" builds and so no dragon knight with a dress and a staff here. My stop, drop and roll is a bit...awkward to say the least. But I really don't die much and when I do I have plenty of shiny soul gems.

Need a Public Dungeon Escort? Reach out to me in the game.

Last night, me and a friend were clearing some Public and Group Dungeons because we had both skipped them earlier. We are a L47DK and L46 Sorc. Easily solo any Group or Public Dungeon in Auridon, but we joined up for grins. One person was standing out side Banished Cells, a L10. Turns out he was new to the game. I invited them to join up as I remember standing outside that place at level 15 hoping someone would ask me to group. No one ever did which is why I had to come back to it later.

Anyway, we go in there and start some battles. The L10 techniques were not that good, and he died a few times. The person chatted that this place might too much. I replied, Don't' stand toe to toe and we will keep you alive. He lasted until the final boss, but died. He also did not have any soul gems so he spawned at the Wayshrine, and of course missed the Achievement and skill point. I chatted back that he needs to go buy some soul gems, kill some mudcrabs and capture some souls so he can resurrect in place and not lose out on rewards from a boss.

Now, I don't think I did anything special, I just think I treated him the way people should be treated in this game. I certainly was no more effort being nice than it would be to be mean.

Rune_Relic · August 2014

I guess it comes down to two mentalities at the end of the day.

There are those who want to fly in and dominate, take the enemy down in record time. They eat though the content and complain there is nothing left as the world passed them by without the slightest glance. Always rushing headlong for the next victim and next battle as that is all that exists for them.

There are those that will simply defend and only strike when there is time to do so without leaving themself open. Patiently waiting for the next opening. Studying the enemy and the environment. They stroll or sneak through the world watching for dangers and inevitably notice the beauty all around them.

The difference is those who want to kill and those you want to stay alive. Which are you ?

Malpherian · August 2014

Don't worry about it OP, Glad you have a game you like and can enjoy, I understand it's not an easy thing for the older crowed to find and adapt to in a Digital world. I'm 30 myself, My first gaming console was an Atari, so young still I suppose, but even in the last 10 years the industry has grown by leaps and bounds.

And in the next 10 years it will grow further still. As long as you can find a nich your set. and don;t let other peoples opinions effect what you think and how you lay or who you are.

The major problem with the world at large is people care too much about what others think, and since humans as a rule are the cruelest creatures to ever walk the face of the planet.... It not a good thing.

Keep playing, Keep having fun and ignore the trolls. They will die out eventually.

kassandratheclericb14_ESO · August 2014

Rune_Relic wrote: »

I guess it comes down to two mentalities at the end of the day.

There are those who want to fly in and dominate, take the enemy down in record time. They eat though the content and complain there is nothing left as the world passed them by without the slightest glance. Always rushing headlong for the next victim and next battle as that is all that exists for them.

There are those that will simply defend and only strike when there is time to do so without leaving themself open. Patiently waiting for the next opening. Studying the enemy and the environment. They stroll or sneak through the world watching for dangers and inevitably notice the beauty all around them.

The difference is those who want to kill and those you want to stay alive. Which are you ?

I disagree. When I play in groups (in the past) I don't do either. I try to help take the boss down (or whatever) and I am not afraid of dying (and I always have soul gems.) At the same time I know sometimes discretion is the better part of valor and going in trying to wafflestomp everything won't always work.

I could give a rat's behind about record times, achievements, being on leader boards and all that. That is not why I play games. Some do and more power to them. I play to make things fun, to be interesting and in some ways as an escape of the daily life I live.

And to @Nestor,

Thank you for your kind offer.

rotiferuk · August 2014

Greywolf46 wrote: »

Yesterday I made the person I was grouped with mad at me. He told me in no uncertain terms that I should not be allowed to play ESO and that “U suck”.

I got the message.

Up front he/she most likely was right, at least from his/her perspective. I am most certainly not the gamer I used to be. But I hold my own, most of the time. There are moments when my fingers seem to have a mind of their own and refuse to hit the proper key. This always happens at the most inopportune times as well.

I plead guilty for being human and foible.

I am 68 years old and enjoy the game. I will make more mistakes playing it than I used too when I was playing the FPS Duke Nukem on the TEN, Total Entertainment Network, more years ago that I care to remember. Yet, somehow I managed to level my nightblade and partially figured out how to play the class effectively, at least for me.

So at the same time I plead guilty for not being the very best nightblade in the game; I ask for patience and a request to keep the game in perspective. Interpersonal relations are far more important that loot, level, or skill. At least they are in my life. If you take the time to get to know me you may find that I am not a bad sort and that am semi-worthy to play the game.

What is really bothering me about this experience is that I missed an opportunity to make a new friend, instead I made an enemy, strictly by accident. For even now I am not sure what I did or did not do to warrant such venom. I was not given a chance to redeem myself. I even followed this person and helped him/her kill a World Boss; but never got an acknowledgement.

I appreciate the medium provided here to voice this.

Thank you

You should have told then to bu@@er off at the very least.

Anyway, I'm also in my sixties and thoroughly recommend using an Xbox360 controller. You should PM the poster who originally suggested it. Also, if you have not yet reached Vet level (or have a low level alt) I suggest you give the non-Vet PvP a go. I'm playing this on the NA server with the AD. It's brilliant fun, I have been in some great random groups and had some epic battles. No one is going to have a go if you get killed, just bring plenty of siege weapons and forward camps.

laurajf · August 2014

kassandratheclericb14_ESO wrote: »

I have a life...too much life sometimes which is why I play these games.

I have to admit this...because of similar issues and fears that many have expressed and because I don't have any friends in this game (with whom I would normally group and be my idiot self)...I have only grouped one single time in this game since launch. Just once. Was in a "solo" dungeon and it was just because the guy was there and nice.

I am absolutely terrified to do a group dungeon. I don't play this game to get chastised. I don't have the most effective build..I know this but I picked it to make me not die in PVE and to have fun. My characters are all "traditional" builds and so no dragon knight with a dress and a staff here. My stop, drop and roll is a bit...awkward to say the least. But I really don't die much and when I do I have plenty of shiny soul gems.

I am not a horrible player by any stretch but I am not perfect and also am not 12. I admit when I make mistakes and do everything I can to do my part. If someone is going to treat me like a child or run through content like their arse is on fire, not bothering to help anyone learn of have a good experience...it makes me not want to group. I understand the basics of my class. But if I were with someone like the OP discusses they would likely invent new curse words just for me.

So I play solo content and hopefully when I get to the Vet content I will have built up my courage and worked it all out, to do some things since I will have to if I wish to continue leveling. I know it is annoying when you only have so much time to play and someone comes along and doesn't know their class. Causing wipes over and over and making it tedious instead of fun. I always learn and am very good once I get some experience...it is getting there that is sometimes hard.

So I hope that when I do I will find some nice folks that are patient and willing to give tips and not just swear at me (and others like me.) The best part of the experience of grouping should not be the end result of the content you are doing. It should be the GROUP and the fun you have playing with someone new. Maybe making a new connection and having some fun. I cross my fingers and now I am going to go play and practice my dodge roll and interrupts.

:P

Whoa...are you me? Did I sign up under a different user name and post this without knowing it? LOL.

Seriously, I could have written this word for word (except I'm not a Dragon Knight). It was a pleasure to read and be able to understand exactly what you mean and how you feel and have someone else put into the words everything I have always felt when playing MMOs.

kassandratheclericb14_ESO · August 2014

[quote="laurajf;1181259"

Whoa...are you me? Did I sign up under a different user name and post this without knowing it? LOL.

Seriously, I could have written this word for word (except I'm not a Dragon Knight). It was a pleasure to read and be able to understand exactly what you mean and how you feel and have someone else put into the words everything I have always felt when playing MMOs.[/quote]

YAY! I am so glad that we are not alone. I play at least one of every class on NA. Feel free to say hi and maybe we can go stomp and die on a few things. lol

I plan to make some on EU when I can so wherever you are (and any other like minded folk) well..there you are? ha ha

I also am going to do some RP soon so if anyone is up for that too.

*grin*

Sighlynce · August 2014

Breg_Magol wrote: »

Stick at it pal. I'll group with you anytime. But be prepared ... I'm probably suckier than you!
We should all group up us oldies ... Feel free to friend me @Breg_Magol‌ .. Cheerio!

LOL you are probably going to be friended a lot !!! 50 here and would love some not so 'Awesomely awesomest players ever to play an MMO' players to do dungeons etc !

Sometimes those 'Awesomest' players really aren't so awesome

JD2013 · August 2014

Some people are just a-biscuits. Sadly MMO's attract a few of them. If ever you pop by the EU server, come say hi to me!

Raash · August 2014

Im so sorry, but I have a hard time believing that so many, especially here on this forum, are really 50+ years old. Most likely BS =/

yiasemi · August 2014

I'm 48 and a nightblade for my many sins and occasionally, believe it or not, need to team up. If you see someone of any race called Yiasemi or any version of then take pity, for despite power gaming with dual wield, medium armor and nightblade everything, she feels it in her fingers now and then. Some of those bosses need a helping hand. EU server. NIce thread. But most people here are nice. The ones who run without stopping to look at the view or read stuff, well, wags finger, shame on you.

kassandratheclericb14_ESO · August 2014

Raash wrote: »

Im so sorry, but I have a hard time believing that so many, especially here on this forum, are really 50+ years old. Most likely BS =/

I never said I was 50, I am 43 in september though since I have three teenagers I sometimes feel much older.

And who are you to call BS? You don't want to be helpful then go find another thread to poop in.

Nestor · August 2014

yiasemi wrote: »

I'm 48 and a nightblade for my many sins and occasionally, believe it or not, need to team up. If you see someone of any race called Yiasemi

I think we have pugged a couple of times. I know I have seen you in the game. Occam Razor (NB), Occam Craftalt (Sorc) or Kees vaan Loo-Macklin (DK) are the handles

Thechemicals · August 2014

Sorry you went through that. I joined a casual guild to learn some of those interpersonal ingame skills you speak of. Its tough for me though, im very fast and quick when it comes to games.

Unfortunately i tend to be impatient towards players behind the power curve and even less patience for ones who dont listen, especially when on teamspeak and still dont listen. A couple of weeks ago i played with a guild in a vr dungeon and realized many weaknesses and bad reaction time from them. I was able to "play-up" to provide what they lacked but at one point someone in teamspeak made some bad calls. He was wrong and to refrain from telling him and everyone that they arent up to par- i simply called it. As much as i tried to mask my true thoughts about the whole thing, i sensed they knew anyway and likely did not feel so great about it.

It took a lot out of me to hold back and not comment on what they were doing wrong and to send the one party member a video on the boss fight to show he was wrong. Im a power gamer and have been all my life. Ive competed in local,regional, tourneys and even was invited to singapore for some finals. I dont take the game seriously because in a week i could uninstall eso and not think twice about it, but i do play hardcore. Its my only mode and if my comments dont *** off or hurt someones feelings, eventually my play style does.