Apology and request for patience

Ashtaris · August 2014

I understand completely Greywolf. I'm 61 myself and not nearly the gamer I used to be, but I manage to hold my own most of the time. Most of my impromptu grouping I have done with others has been a positive experience. I think people just need to keep in mind it's just a game, people make mistakes, and the real purpose is just to have fun. It's unfortunate that you had that experience, but just know there are a lot of us out there that would prefer to give someone help rather than point out their faults.

Nestor · August 2014

Greywolf46 wrote: »

Yesterday I made the person I was grouped with mad at me. He told me in no uncertain terms that I should not be allowed to play ESO and that “U suck”.

I got the message.

Up front he/she most likely was right, at least from his/her perspective.

If your in the AD, send me a message, I will group with you. I don't need perfection in a group partner, just someone to keep some of the mobs occupied. Helps if you use Siphon with the morph that heals other players. But, you don't even need that.

There are two types of players in this game, those who want maximize their actions and those who want to have fun. I think you will find more of the latter in PvE and more of the former in PvP.

Unless you were getting this guy killed, I see no reason to call anyone out for how they play. As longs as mobs are dieing and I am alive at the end, then the group worked for me. PUG or Formal.

I also tend to not group with people, but just follow along with them. Most of the time, these ad hoc groups works as a formal group would, without the /group chat channel.

So, don't worry about what one person said, and if needed, join a guild that has like minded or like skilled people in it.

Fissh · August 2014

At your age, you should know the demographic you are playing. In other words, you are taking something personally from a snot nosed kid most likely. Though inappropriate, you are old enough to know you are dealing with internet ambiguity and should simply move on from the rudeness. Taking it personal as this, suggests you may not understand this concept yet, and should. I mean that without disrespect, but to help you ignore the immature that treat people as bytes of data. Simply recognize a person that disrespects you, /ignore, and move on to brighter pastures.

Rune_Relic · August 2014

Same reason I only ever join a group when I have absolutely no choice.

What I normally do is hang around and hang back to watch the health of those in trouble and the enemies they face. When I see they are gonna die imminently....that's when I join in to take the pressure off a while and let them get a 2nd wind.

Enemies sure hate a knock down when they are on for a certain kill. lol

You dont have to group to have a great time with others. Don't sweat the school kids with attitude. Plenty of old timers floating around and watching too

You know patience can overcome machismo in this game. Perhaps a different tack would be worth a try if you are struggling with finger speed. Fools rush in has some virtue.

Evergnar · August 2014

Azzuria wrote: »

Anyone that would get bent out of shape over an error in a video game is probably not someone you'd want to maintain a relationship with.

^Simply this. People like him/her are not worth a second of anybodies time. If I had a nickle for every wrong key I've hit I'd buy Zenimax

bluesodafizz · August 2014

I kind of don't understand why the OP posted this...I'm sorry someone was mean to you but just report them like everyone else. Just right click on the name of the people in chat and it takes like a minute.

If I got on here and made a thread every time someone was being a jerk then this forum would be full of nothing but me crying and asking for people to make me feel better.

It's an online game and no matter how old/young you are, how smart you are, what gender or sexual orientation you are people are going to be mean to you. It's just the nature of an online community.

Hadria · August 2014

I hope I make it to old age and continue to play games don't let em get to you. Gamers these days are something else.

Artemiisia · August 2014

one thing that truly gets to me, is when Im going into a solo dungeon and find a person there just sitting and waiting for someone like me to come along so he can actually finish the quest, due to mobs being to hard to handle for him.

This thread has really set my thoughts on people like that, since he could had sat there for a long time waiting, and why is it he didnt ask in chat, if some foolish kid has treated him like crap and made him scared of asking for help in zone. So now he feels he needs to just sit and wait until a friendly soul comes along.

I have on many many times, when people ask for help in zones, even normal quests, they keep dying on, jumped to help.

but still im thinking back to the people sitting "alone in the dark" waiting to be able to progress through Tamiral with some help from time to time, and dont dare to ask for what ever reason I dont know

radiostar · August 2014

Some of these little whippersnappers are just too sexy for their clothes. If they weren't so mean, they'd be hilarious. Don't even let that stop you from getting your fun on and enjoying the game!

Nova Sky · August 2014

bluesodafizz wrote: »

I kind of don't understand why the OP posted this...I'm sorry someone was mean to you but just report them like everyone else. Just right click on the name of the people in chat and it takes like a minute.

If I got on here and made a thread every time someone was being a jerk then this forum would be full of nothing but me crying and asking for people to make me feel better.

It's an online game and no matter how old/young you are, how smart you are, what gender or sexual orientation you are people are going to be mean to you. It's just the nature of an online community.

You can always change the nature of things.

Tandor · August 2014

Rune_Relic wrote: »

Same reason I only ever join a group when I have absolutely no choice.

What I normally do is hang around and hang back to watch the health of those in trouble and the enemies they face. When I see they are gonna die imminently....that's when I join in to take the pressure off a while and let them get a 2nd wind.

Enemies sure hate a knock down when they are on for a certain kill. lol

You dont have to group to have a great time with others. Don't sweat the school kids with attitude. Plenty of old timers floating around and watching too

This is pretty much my approach these days too. In my early MUD and MMO days I was happy to group and guild, but like others here I'm in my 60's and I much prefer these days to take games at my own pace and not have to worry about whether I'm letting anyone else down, while always looking in those games that allow drive-by healing, buffing, and bashing on the mobs to aid those in need.

Greywolf certainly has nothing to worry about, and very likely nothing to apologise for either.

bluesodafizz · August 2014

Nova Sky wrote: »

bluesodafizz wrote: »

I kind of don't understand why the OP posted this...I'm sorry someone was mean to you but just report them like everyone else. Just right click on the name of the people in chat and it takes like a minute.

If I got on here and made a thread every time someone was being a jerk then this forum would be full of nothing but me crying and asking for people to make me feel better.

It's an online game and no matter how old/young you are, how smart you are, what gender or sexual orientation you are people are going to be mean to you. It's just the nature of an online community.

You can always change the nature of things.

Maybe so, but that doesn't change the fact that in the here and now there are a lot of people in online games who are mean. It's not going to just suddenly change in the course of a day, a week, and I highly doubt even by the time this game has expired.

My point is that the OP should just report mean people and move on. There's no need to make a scene of it and flood the forums with posts about negative individuals. This is not really the place to vent about personal interactions with other players. That in itself is fuel for negativity.

Nestor · August 2014

bluesodafizz wrote: »

I kind of don't understand why the OP posted this...I'm sorry someone was mean to you but just report them like everyone else. Just right click on the name of the people in chat and it takes like a minute.

Yes, putting them on ignore is one solution. However this thread is a also a nice way to get people to think about others and their abilities to play a game. Not all of use are keyboard wizards and not all of us are in this game to be the most efficient killing machine on the server.

bluesodafizz · August 2014

Nestor wrote: »

bluesodafizz wrote: »

I kind of don't understand why the OP posted this...I'm sorry someone was mean to you but just report them like everyone else. Just right click on the name of the people in chat and it takes like a minute.

Yes, putting them on ignore is one solution. However this thread is a also a nice way to get people to think about others and their abilities to play a game. Not all of use are keyboard wizards and not all of us are in this game to be the most efficient killing machine on the server.

No, please don't just put them on ignore, please actually report them. That's the only way we can ever hope to police behavior in game is to take the time to report people and not just ignore them.

You're right though, it does suck that people who have handicaps are often left behind in mmos. I, myself, have narcolepsy/epilepsy and often snap into "sleep" while playing, only to wake a few moments later dead. I'm just not sure this kind of post is the best way to go about discussing it. It doesn't seem like a post about handicapped players, it seems like a post about someone being upset that they were talked to in a rude way.

EDIT: Dead in game, not IRL. Sorry lol

Surliman · August 2014

"I'm only thirty and have a tendency to hit the wrong keys at times, one of the reasons I'm worried about the justice system. Can just see myself accidentally using Bitting Jabs on the stable master one day..."

I know, right! I can see myself checking out an adobe and accidently clicking on a strawberry. *sob* Ganked cuz of a strawberry! LOL

There are a lot of guys like the one you encountered. Show them your backside. They aren't worth your time.

Believe me..I have met them. I also play Wow.

Nestor · August 2014

bluesodafizz wrote: »

No, please don't just put them on ignore, please actually report them. That's the only way we can ever hope to police behavior in game is to take the time to report people and not just ignore them.

Reporting them for rude or insensitive behavior is a tough nut to crack. I am a moderator on another forum that you may know about, and we see reports on people acting rudely. We go an look at the threads and more often than not, we don't see rudeness but something else like losing a debate or people not worshiping their point of view. We do see the flames (and when we do, the banhammer comes whistling down and they get time off the boards). Ironically, it is usually someone not involved in the conversation that reports the flaming.

I don't know if the chat logs are even kept in this game for any length of time, if at all. So, there may be no way for a GM or a Moderator to even look at the context of the situation and make a disciplinary decision that makes sense for the situation.

smeeprocketnub19_ESO · August 2014

Having experienced playing with older gamers and approaching middle age myself, I would say it's not a problem with reaction time that can be frustrating for me, it's more a problem with not "getting" what needs to be done. I find myself having to explain things several times, and then explain them again. This isn't always true, but people that weren't raised on video games or computers tend to have a problem with this, so it's not even necessarily age.

It's not just age though. I have this friend that is very very good at pvp. Sometimes we'll group. It doesn't matter what we are doing, he'll have something he'll want me to do and I'm totally ready, so we engage, ALWAYS my bar is flipped, or I get bugged or something goes wrong where I screw up completely. The fact that he has been patient and nice every time really amazes me and I often imagine him wanting to reach through the screen and shake me.

I blame my own slow reaction time on the left-handed setup that is necessary to function, personally. You have to really twist your fingers around to do just about anything.

I kind of advise against using a controller. It might help but it has massive limitations. A mouse/keyboard user will always have the advantages in a game like this. Plus, it's a real pita to type.

IrishGirlGamer · August 2014

Artemiisia wrote: »

one thing that truly gets to me, is when Im going into a solo dungeon and find a person there just sitting and waiting for someone like me to come along so he can actually finish the quest, due to mobs being to hard to handle for him.

~ snip ~

but still im thinking back to the people sitting "alone in the dark" waiting to be able to progress through Tamiral with some help from time to time, and dont dare to ask for what ever reason I dont know

I just wanted to say that's an excellent post.

The_Tip · August 2014

Sorry for your experience. Unfortunately in this day and age people do and say things behind the digital veil and believe there is no consequence or repercussion's. That persons opinion shouldn't mean much considering they're so classless to begin with though. I'd have blocked them lol.

coryevans_3b14_ESO · August 2014

I'll think of this if I start feeling impatient and hopefully be less so.

ThoradinBloodfire · August 2014

You're alright. hang in there. Keep hitting the "H" key and get back on that horse. You're getting better, and forget the haters.

Melian · August 2014

That kind of behavior is self-perpetuating and drags the whole community down. It doesn't make anyone play better, it's just taking your frustrations out on someone else. The players who make the effort to be positive, constructive and helpful are the truly admirable ones, and not those who lash out. Even if they are good at the game - they're bad for the game. I'd definitely rather be grouped with someone like you than like him.

AlyennahsCrafting · August 2014

Just wanted to say, there is no need to feel you have to defend yourself against people like that. Just move on, level up, pwn everything at veteran rank 12, win the game, have fun.

Anastasia · August 2014

Artemiisia wrote: »

I see a guild in the future called Old Hagz

There is an awesome multi-game group called TOG / The Older Gamers I think. I don't know if any are active here since we don't have guild tags etc.

In other games I have seen them active in they have a majority of 40+ folks but also a good mix of other ages and always seem to be the most cheerful and helpful players!

Esha76 · August 2014

I would say the problem is a mix of contributors such as, but not excluded to, kids being raised by negligent parents, negligent kids not listening to good parents, mental and personality disorders (treated and especially untreated), traumatic life experiences, poor ego and self esteem issues, on top of the fact this kind of treatment conditions others to do it themselves. And, much like the old Simpsons episode with the elephant, "... Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks--Stop that, Mr. Simpson."

Despite how so many people think one should process an experience like this, some people do need to come to a forum to vent, and seek others who are experiencing the same unpleasantness. It is a perfectly logical and therapeutic way to process unpleasant situations within said community, regardless of one's opinion if such a thread is warranted or not.

In the OP's process here, despite the attitudes of at least two individuals in this thread, his post has been highly productive and positive for his situation. By venting his experience here in this forum OP has had more than several people, not only relate to this ongoing problem, but then also reach out to him and offer to include him their gaming. Including a guild offer if I recall correctly. That's evidence of a pretty damn successful post. So anyone who feels they are so superior to tell OP he shouldn't be starting this thread, or how he should feel about being spoken to in such a disrespectful manner.... Take a wild guess which orifice in which you can shove your option.

Marthea · August 2014

Seems to me that there are many more of us older players than there used to be as we started many years ago and have aged as we continued to play. I think a good number of us can definitely related to your post. I know I could on many levels. Sometimes I feel like I don't "fit in". Sometimes I feel like I'm just not as sharp as I used to be. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll be judged before given a chance to prove myself. And sometimes I'm afraid I won't measure up. But then I remind myself that when it all comes down to it, it's only a game and it's about having fun first and foremost. Don't be discouraged. There are plenty of people playing that are right on par with you and completely understand, and there are plenty of people playing that would think you play just fine and would be more than happy to make a new friend.

P.S. Feel free to friend me or send me a whisper in game and say hi.

kijima · August 2014

To the OP, you sir have made my day. You now have 40 awesomes for your original post.

You could be my wingman anytime.

Nickers · August 2014

this thread = WIN! my hope for humanity in cyberspace has been restored.... for the time being. Good to know at 4o I still have a healthy 20+ years of gaming left in me.

RSram · August 2014

My character is a Sorcerer build with light armor, so I like to size up the opposition. I prefer to take out the NPC's that use ranged weapons first because they always kick my *ss when I ignore them. But this usually doesn't work welI with the younger players who are hell bent on eating soul gems like crystal meth addicts.

I had an instant where another player and I tried to take on an anchor at VR5. The problem I had with this guy is that he just jump in the middle of a mob with little or no warning or strategy, like a gnat high on cocaine. All hell broke loose and several times I had to bail or die; why, because I like my shiny soul gems. They are so shiny and glow in the dark..., huh..., OK... back on topic:

Of course we died several times. After the fight I commented on how tough the fight was and he cursed at me and said I was nothing and did nothing, even though there were numerous dead NPC's glowing green waiting for me to loot.

Afterword it hit me; when he was in trouble, I wasn't there to help him and that was a big deal for him. I now keep a better eye on my follow players, and yes I have had to occasionally eat one or more of my shiny soul gems, but hey it keeps the kids happy.

The moral of the story is: there is none. Get a life, touch a real woman, walk outside, stretch those diabetic legs; It's only a game and the cake is a lie, the cake is a lie, the cake is a....

poodlemasterb16_ESO · August 2014

stefan.gustavsonb16_ESO wrote: »

The most fun I have had so far in this game was when four absolutely clueless people, myself included, tried to do Selene's Web a dozen times and failed miserably each time. We died horribly and shamefully on most encounters before we slowly learned, or sometimes just got lucky, and we laughed.

The point of this game is to have fun, not to treat it like a job. Some people just fail to understand that, and I stay away from them. Fortunately, the majority of players in ESO seem to be nice people.

To make an analogy, I like to ride my bike from time to time for leisure. If someone on the road told me that my posture, pedalling and breathing technique sucked and that I should not be allowed on a bicycle because I will never be fast enough to compete, I would rightfully tell them that their elitism was misplaced, insulting and pathetic, ask them to understand that not everyone has the time, desire or ability to become a professional cyclist, and remind them that most people ride a bike for entirely different reasons.

Keep sucking. Have fun. Hope to meet you in the game some time.

There are several sides to this. I ride my bike sometimes, I mainly hike in my mountains these days, and when I do it steadily I get strong. My technique is pretty good, the bike is set up well, and I benefit from this. There is a guy here who rides his bike everywhere and he has zero technique. He literally puts his heels on the pedals and has the seat way down. He has to walk it up little hills that I destroy simply by standing up and hammering for 30 sec or so. He should be much stronger than I am simply because he uses it all the time. He is not. Poor technique is why.

I'm nearly 68 and I am rocking this silly game. It's my first MMO and I have learned to play it pretty well. My Vampire Witch solos + dungeons, that 8 - 10 man groups, above her level. She is facerolling Coldharbour at the moment I am not even using my Ulimates much. Mostly for giggles. She pops Devouring Swarm and spam Impulse for laughs. The bosses mostly go down so easy I never get to the Ultimate. There are a couple that are a bit harder but it's a bit disappointing.