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https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/668861

When You Want To Group, Please Ask In A Tell First

RianaTheBosmer
RianaTheBosmer
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I keep getting unprompted group invites and I keep turning them down. If a player sends me a tell and asks for help, I'll be more than willing to do so but I don't accept blanket group invites and I'm sure I'm not the only one...

Remember, send a tell first, ask and I and others like me will probably join your group.
Edited by RianaTheBosmer on May 16, 2014 12:08PM
  • AlienSlof
    AlienSlof
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    I second this.

    If I'm in a public dungeon, then I often do accept grouping invites, as we're obviously all wanting to do the same thing there. However, random group invites when I'm out and about, I decline.

    Not because I'm antisocial, but quite often because I'm exploring. Also, because I prefer to be asked first to make sure we're doing the same quests. Someone grouped outside with me would quickly get bored as I poke into every nook and cranny looking for treasure, mats, quests, etc.

    I only really group regularly with a friend as we made our characters as a pair.
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  • Yankee
    Yankee
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    Pretty much the same. If it is an anchor, dungeon, world boss I will accept. If I am just passing through I decline. Good chance if they whispered me I would miss it anyway as I do not pay much attention to the chat box.
  • Turial
    Turial
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    I keep getting unprompted group invites and I keep turning them down. If a player sends me a tell and asks for help, I'll be more than willing to do so but I don't accept blanket group invites and I'm sure I'm not the only one...

    Remember, send a tell first, ask and I and others like me will probably join your group.

    I have just been in contact with every player in game, they have read the topic but in order not to spam they wanted me to tell you "Ok, the will whisper from now on, no problem."

    :D
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  • vyndral13preub18_ESO
    vyndral13preub18_ESO
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    Id love to see the grouping system they had in Rift show up. If you had yourself set as public group you and your group could run in and press a button and be grouped with those around you. Then if you wanted you could split group and it would return you to your old group. It was a great thing for public events or even daily quest.

    And if you didn't like it, all you had to do was turn public group off. Then grouping acted like most mmos standard grouping.
  • Turial
    Turial
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    Id love to see the grouping system they had in Rift show up. If you had yourself set as public group you and your group could run in and press a button and be grouped with those around you. Then if you wanted you could split group and it would return you to your old group. It was a great thing for public events or even daily quest.

    And if you didn't like it, all you had to do was turn public group off. Then grouping acted like most mmos standard grouping.

    That almost makes me want to play Rift... almost :P I have too many games to play.
    "Neither a 'Borrower nor a Lender' be."
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  • zaria
    zaria
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    Yes in dungeons or while waiting for boss just invite, same if farming in group.
    random invites
    Id love to see the grouping system they had in Rift show up. If you had yourself set as public group you and your group could run in and press a button and be grouped with those around you. Then if you wanted you could split group and it would return you to your old group. It was a great thing for public events or even daily quest.

    And if you didn't like it, all you had to do was turn public group off. Then grouping acted like most mmos standard grouping.
    An excellent idea, it only needs the feature of auto kicking people who have been out of range too long or leave the zone.

    This way you could have dynamic groups of people faming or questing in an area, you just click on a group member to join.
    Grinding just make you go in circles.
    Asking ZoS for nerfs is as stupid as asking for close air support from the death star.
  • Bolo_Bob
    Bolo_Bob
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    i hate having to make new characters because my other character is stuck in group with someone else, wish i could just leave group somehow when i want.
    :astonished:
  • Milrik
    Milrik
    Soul Shriven
    Its polite to ask first before sending an invite both to grouping and guild invites. The worst thing that can happen is that the person says no thank you.
  • reggielee
    reggielee
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    seems an extra step to accomplish the same thing. decline it or not the objective is the same. sending a tell often is ignored due to people not having the chat up or being lost in the constant spam of chat, even guild chat.

    i never send random group invites because I cant be arsed but I dont understand why you have a problem with those that do. i always say ok if someone sends me an invite, they are usually guilds doing mass lvling or grinding and being polite, or random small groups with the same objective. you get an exp boost if grouped i believe, plus added kills to loot. Often times after a grind we exchange friend requests and hook up in guilds.

    they have become my in game friends now

    and bolo, not sure if you were joking or not, but you can leave group anytime, just open your group tab and press x
    Mama always said the fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
  • frozenchicken
    I...disagree with this concept. You are of course in your rights to not accept any invites, but sometimes it can be quite fun to group up with a completely random person. There are benefits to being in a group (+10% xp so long as you do happen to end up questing/fighting in roughly the same area), and the only downside is the fact you'll eventually have to spend all of 5 seconds leaving the group, assuming they don't do it first. Is it guaranteed to be useful? No. But there's nothing really wrong about people making an offer that isn't guaranteed to be useful.
    To put my logic in a simplistic manner-5 seconds to ungroup when you split up is less annoying than the 20 seconds required to send a message. In addition, adding this stipulation discourages grouping in general, and I can't imagine anything worse for this game's health than that.
  • Bolo_Bob
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    ya i was being a goober and attempting humor.

    honestly there are some wierdo's out there, but from what i seen is most people usually send group invites if you look like you are doing the same thing or same quest.

    i send random invites to people near me if they look like they are doing the same thing as me or if i think i might be hogging all the loot by killing groups of enemies fast.
    sometimes it looks like someone else might not be getting hits on stuff or doing enough damage to get loot.
    so i send invites to be nice, as in "hey group with me and we all will get loot guaranteed!!", even tho i dont send a tell 1st.

    basically if they kill the same groups of enemies as me or kinda follow me around when im killing, then i pop an invite.

    but also, i dont expect that player to bound forever to me and its okay for either player to say "well, im done here good luck and have fun, Bye".
    without the expectations of friend invites or being stuck following one or the other around all day in agony.

    anywho just my thoughts, could say more but starting to feel like a grouping counselor :wink:
  • Gedalya
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    Agreed. However I've only had a few random invites. BTW, if anyone wants to play together just message me; my guild is casual and open to all mature people.
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  • RubyTigress
    RubyTigress
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    Bolo_Bob wrote: »
    i hate having to make new characters because my other character is stuck in group with someone else, wish i could just leave
    group somehow when i want.
    :astonished:

    You can. Open the party panel, and the command to leave the party is right there. I think the default keybinding is P.

    *eta and i see you were joshing after all. :) well played.

    Edited by RubyTigress on May 16, 2014 2:40PM
  • jimbomobo
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    Agreed. Annoying when this happens - best to send a /w first so you know what your are grouping for.
  • Cogo
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    I agree. Actually people who does that risk to get on my ignore list. Like someone said, the exception is anchors and World bosses.

    You can not blame anything on a single reason, but I think a huuuuuuge reason for this out of the blue invitation comes from WoW, where it's not just common, but how most people "recruit" to their guild. just invite without a word. That habit have spread to group invites. I REALLY hope that horrible addon that sends autoinvites to everyone on the server without a guild will NEVER be seen in ESO. The 5 guild and phasing technology may protect us from this.

    Also, to be fair, it could be a kid who simply don't know better then ask first, but mostly its "normal" players.

    I still have no clue why some people do this. I would never, ever ask anyone to join me doing anything unless I spoke to em first. Could be an 4arse as far as I know. Maybe even don't have time for a dungeon and have to leave after 15 mins in.....
    Edited by Cogo on May 16, 2014 3:41PM
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  • Azzuria
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    Not anti-social, just not open to random invites. Call it once-bitten-twice-shy, but I have had very bad experiences with random invites and just don't want to deal with them any longer.

    Send me a quick /tell and, who knows, random RP may happen. I'm always open to that. Spontaneous RP in a delve or out in the world makes the game all that much more fun for me.

    But random invites seem more like attempts at intrusion and I don't need the extra XP enough to deal with them.
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  • RianaTheBosmer
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    I am far from anti social. I am my guild's rp officer but honestly, I am in the middle of combat and it pops up. I don't like that at all.
  • kirnmalidus
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    It may be polite to ask before sending a group request, but there is no reality within which your wanting to be messaged first will equate to it actually happening in most cases. It's not like everyone who plays the game will read this post, and even if they did most people won't listen.

    If I'm running through an area fighting some mobs, and someone jumps in and we end up fighting alongside each other for a few encounters and are clearly headed towards the same objective I may send them an invite. I don't think this is especially rude if we've already basically been grouped without the formality.

    If you get requested at an inconvenient time you can just ignore the request or close it, it's not such a big deal and it goes away on it's own eventually. Remember it's possible one of your friends or guildmates is requesting you to join their group and they are in a different zone and don't know you are fighting at the moment.
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  • RianaTheBosmer
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    This post is for new players so...take that for what it's worth. New players come here and read it and some will do it, some will not, but it's nice if they do. They wouldn't get turned down so much. One more thing, yesterday, I got 5 requests from the same person, which I denied 5 times. If this person would have asked and told me what they needed help with, I might have helped. Those who want to send blanket invites are going to justify it. Those of us who don't want blanket invites are going to say stop doing it.
    Edited by RianaTheBosmer on May 16, 2014 5:43PM
  • demendred
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    Yea, blind invites are kinda rude. Much like those who blind invite you to a guild, or try to send you a friend request.
    Edited by demendred on May 16, 2014 5:44PM
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  • Coggage
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    I never PUG so I use an addon that autodeclines group invites and guild invites.
  • DenverRalphy
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    Blind Invites have always been bad etiquette in MMOs. Unfortunately a large portion of the playerbase ignores etiquette. It's considered bad form, simply because it forces a player to acknowledge every request coming through when they may not wish to be bothered.

    By nature, I always decline blind invites by default. You want to group with me? Send me a message. If I'm up for it, I will respond. If not, I have the choice to politely decline or just ignore it.
  • Sarenia
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    I don't personally agree with the OP. When I'm out and about, I would much rather see blind invites than the antisocial behavior that most exhibit.
    Id love to see the grouping system they had in Rift show up.

    I agree, Rift's public grouping system was definitely something worth mimicking in ESO. Manually sending/accepting every group invite needs to go the way of the dinosaur. Designated "public group" areas with a "auto join public groups" option is far more seamless and elegant.

    That, along with the option to enter public dungeons as a group (or solo if not in a group) would do wonders for this game, in my opinion.
    Edited by Sarenia on May 16, 2014 6:37PM
    [beta_group_85b_9]
  • redwoodtreesprite
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    Still can't figure out how to leave a group lol. Sometimes the game just disbands your group when you log back in, sometimes two of my characters are shown in group when me and my hubby start adventuring.

    But I also prefer a tell before an invite if it isn't something like an anchor. I usually don't want to group if I am just running around trying to get crafting mats before the bots do and taking out mobs in the way.

    Thing is, with anchors and such, you don't even have to group. When it comes to a boss with some strategy, I don't mind grouping, as it helps to be able to use group chat.
  • RianaTheBosmer
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    Sarenia wrote: »
    I don't personally agree with the OP. When I'm out and about, I would much rather see blind invites than the antisocial behavior that most exhibit.

    It's not anti social to not accept or like blind invites. Anti social is dragging a mob with you and leaving someone there to get killed. It's not using the proper MMO etiquette.
  • Csub
    Csub
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    I never tried but can you still get invitee if you set your status to DND at the Social panel?
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  • Sarenia
    Sarenia
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    Sarenia wrote: »
    I don't personally agree with the OP. When I'm out and about, I would much rather see blind invites than the antisocial behavior that most exhibit.

    It's not anti social to not accept or like blind invites. Anti social is dragging a mob with you and leaving someone there to get killed. It's not using the proper MMO etiquette.
    No, by anti-social I'm referring to the utter lack of interest in interacting with anybody else that is commonly exhibited in this, and other MMOs. Being furious about group invites is just one facet of this convoluted tapestry.

    To preemptively bypass any sort of semantics arguments, I would simply urge one to objectively observe behavior as they play the game. Unless they're playing a different game then me, one would probably find socialization to be generally shunned. Just take a look at all the discussions on the forum here about people helping others, and having the person run off without so much as a "TY".

    This isn't a matter of opinion. It's a fact that many people are vehemently anti-social in MMOs, and that won't change from forum posts.
    Edited by Sarenia on May 16, 2014 8:37PM
    [beta_group_85b_9]
  • Sarenia
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    @redwoodtreesprite‌
    Still can't figure out how to leave a group lol.
    Hit 'P' by default to open the Party window, and disband the group, or leave it from there. 'P' > 'X' should do this rapidly for you.
    Edited by Sarenia on May 16, 2014 9:55PM
    [beta_group_85b_9]
  • RianaTheBosmer
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    Sarenia wrote: »
    No, by anti-social I'm referring to the utter lack of interest in interacting with anybody else that is commonly exhibited in this, and other MMOs. Being furious about group invites is just one facet of this convoluted tapestry.

    Who is furious? To suggest proper etiquette is not anger. That's just ridiculous. People should ask. Also doesn't mean we're not interested in interacting, I'm a guild RP officer. I interact all the time.
  • Sarenia
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    To suggest proper etiquette is not anger. That's just ridiculous. People should ask.
    Disagreement with your viewpoint isn't intrinsically ridiculous.

    Some etiquette is universal. Releasing bowel gases at the dinner table is seen as rude in most parts of the world, for example. Spamming a forum board or bringing up politics is seen as poor etiquette on most forums as well.

    Other things are not inherently "proper" etiquette just because we say so. There are many people who want to group up with people for a common goal, without bothering to sit there and type up a greeting, conversation, and goodbye just for 5 minutes at a Dolmen or in a public dungeon.

    Now, you could try to force me and others to believe your idea of etiquette is the one true way, or you might recognize that the group confirmation dialogue serves a purpose -- if you don't want to join random groups in the world, decline them.

    You could probably even devise an addon to automatically decline all group requests, unless the sender's name is in a stored list of allowed inviters.

    Personally, I'm hoping ZOS sees Rift's public group method for the wonderful design it is and incorporates it, so we can have the best of both worlds.


    Edited by Sarenia on May 16, 2014 11:25PM
    [beta_group_85b_9]
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