I heard an NPC say this....

Potenza

"I need another drink like a head in a hole"

Random statement from a male npc in the streets of Shornhelm outside the Dead Wolf Inn.

While walking through the game I hear all kinds of funny stuff the npc's are saying randomly. This one made me laugh when I heard it.
If you heard anything really funny or interesting that an npc has said, please post it.

Neonisys

I had

Angof Gravesinger

congratulate me on saving the kings life in Coldharbour.

crislevin

I had a headache as big as Cyrodiil

KiroElmarok

Have you heard? Someone saved King Casimir's life!

Rytfield

A dunmer told me to [snip] off once :<

[Moderator Note: Edited per our rules on Cursing & Profanity]

Sorpaijen_ESO

There's a female Dunmer outside Ebonheart, I think, who calls you a netch's fart...

Potenza

"If you were speaking your mind, you'd be speechless right now."

Elsonso

Wow. Who knew the NPCs read the forums!

pinkempyreal

There's a certain NPC guard voice type that when he says (more like yells) the line "For King Casimir! ' I hear a certain curse word... Gets me all the time.

columbineb14_ESO

It's not particular dialogue, but at various places in the world are two NPCs who can't start a fire. You light their campfire for them and they're very grateful. This always cracks me up, mostly because I want to know what was going through the mind of the writer or dev who threw this in.

Sanspoof

KiroElmarok wrote: »

Have you heard? Someone saved King Casimir's life!

Really? You should buy that hero an ale!

psychounz

Neonisys wrote: »

I had

Angof Gravesinger

congratulate me on saving the kings life in Coldharbour.

This happens to me with the recently departed spirits that I need to save, as well. Basically... people who shouldn't be saying, "Yay! You did something amazing in another zone!" are saying... just that XD

esoone

There are 3 women in cyrodiil who have a guy chained and all have lovenotes from him. One is sharpening a blade and they say all kind of epic funy things and the whole scene is very funny.

Orchish

"If you're looking to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat, be happy to cut off your head.

Random comment from a guard. Made me laugh.

Zordrage

the best one i heard sofar from a guard

"I will live forever or die trying"

Lynnarra

"If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."

psychounz

"I'm here to kick ass and eat sweetrolls. And I'm all out of sweetrolls."

merwanoreb17_ESO

pinkempyreal wrote: »

There's a certain NPC guard voice type that when he says (more like yells) the line "For King Casimir! ' I hear a certain curse word... Gets me all the time.

Yeah me too, i always laugh when I hear it

Ulvich

Not long ago I bought an NPC a drink. He replied by saying "I'll be getting thirsty again real soon. And when I do I'll come find you".

nudel

Oh man soo many good ones.

"I like to crush skulls and eat sweetrolls...and I'm all out of sweetrolls."

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

Though my favorite has got to be Yngwie in the Daggerfall Inn. It's not really a random line, but I love it so.

"Innkeep said I was too drunk to drink! How rid...how red...How stupid is that? I do my best drinking when I'm drunk. Ask anyone."

yiasemi

Took off my my breeches to upgrade them at a clothiers bench, feeling as self-conscious as only a Brit can in virtual reality, only for a passing guard to remark that's some weapon you have there or something like.

ZeBlade

In Skyrim the guard would say "let me guess someone stole your sweetrole"

This women says "let me guess you want to buy a sweetrole"

vince131nub18_ESO

there was an elf speaking to one of the tree elemental things
"when you are asked a hard question do you get stumped"
i had to stop and tell myself it is impossible for me to strangle a fictional character
and then i hear "im sure when you set your mind on something you stick with it"
and i lose it alt+f4 /wrist cant live any more. never had an NPC actually lower my intelligence score

SootyTX

Riding through Daggerfall just now and some cheeky bugger dissed my horse!

MasterSpatula

"All Khajiit are grey in the dark." (in AD, not DC)

Oscar Wilde would be proud.

Lynnessa

"If I wanted your opinion, I'd give it to you."

--Bloody Fist

nudel

Heard this for the first time today: "I bet you're all foam and no ale."

Also love when guards say, "War doesn't build character. It reveals it."

Heraclea

Every time I head back to Rivenspire for a bag dump, somebody shouts that one of Santa's reindeer has gone insane.

squeeze

There's

• a female Orc guard in Wayrest who comments on my smell
• a male Khajiit guard in Rawlkha who says my face would sour milk
• a female Bosmer guard in Rawlkha who welcomes me back as long as I do not stay as long...

ArgonianAssassin

"Hey, aren't you the one that exposed that swindler Andarwe? HAH! Ayleid warlord my arse."

twnakita

"The talk of men grates upon my ears. Always comparing swords. One-hand grip, two-handed grip... it's all the same to me. Now if you could show me a beautifully filigreed sheath, that would be a different matter entirely." -Bameli the Pure, a Dark Elf in Ebonheart.