Midyear Mayhem Humor

StrandedMonkey

this thread was stolen from me

DarcyMardin

So tonight, I’m doing a town quest because my alliance (DC) only controls about 1/8 of the map and it’s the middle of the night anyway. There’s a yellow standing next to me whom I ignore. They appear to be ignoring me,too.

But then...I’m in the middle of the quest dialogue when I discover I’m under attack. I suck so of course I’ll die very fast...except I don’t. Several seconds go by with the yellow frantically stabbing me with daggers that don’t appear to be doing a lot of damage. I mean, my health is way down, but I should have been flat on my face in the dirt by now — believe me, I have *lots* of experience being killed in Cyrodiil.

Belatedly, I decide to fight back. And WTF, I actually win! Hallelujah—I have finally encountered someone who is even worse at PVP than me!

Ysbriel

daemonios

DarcyMardin wrote: »

So tonight, I’m doing a town quest because my alliance (DC) only controls about 1/8 of the map and it’s the middle of the night anyway. There’s a yellow standing next to me whom I ignore. They appear to be ignoring me,too.

But then...I’m in the middle of the quest dialogue when I discover I’m under attack. I suck so of course I’ll die very fast...except I don’t. Several seconds go by with the yellow frantically stabbing me with daggers that don’t appear to be doing a lot of damage. I mean, my health is way down, but I should have been flat on my face in the dirt by now — believe me, I have *lots* of experience being killed in Cyrodiil.

Belatedly, I decide to fight back. And WTF, I actually win! Hallelujah—I have finally encountered someone who is even worse at PVP than me!

That's my thought every time I win a 1v1

barney2525

Well, its not IN Cyradil, but its during the event

Apparently Cyradil need the Vulkel guard buildings

Ye_Olde_Crowe

I actually killed another player!

To explain things... well, I'm totally useless in PvP so I'm doing scouting missions mostly. This morning, I totally botched my tree snooker move when jumping down a mountain, and I, well, broke my neck when hitting the ground instead of the trees. My ghost got up, dusted itself off, looked around - and in the very same moment, an enemy player came crashing down the very same mountain, hitting the ground right beside me. They had been a tad better at their tree snooker because they didn't die, but were reduced to a very slim strip of health.
Just then I respawned, bashed them with my staff (just once), and they died... my first and only kill during this MM!

LordLomax

barney2525 wrote: »

Well, its not IN Cyradil, but its during the event

Apparently Cyradil need the Vulkel guard buildings

Oooh 😮 minimap wish we had 1 😭

HappyTheCamper

Ysbriel wrote: »

At least it’s a pretty loading screen!

Dark_Lord_Kuro

barney2525 wrote: »

Well, its not IN Cyradil, but its during the event

Apparently Cyradil need the Vulkel guard buildings

We need a lot of material to repair those keep wall and door

TheUrbanWizard

We loadscreen then crash after taking a keep yet we still log back in

SeaGtGruff

I was capturing a resource solo, fighting a guard and a mender inside the tower by the banner. The guard gave me a whack and I went sailing through the tower wall, floating over the banner and out above the open field toward the keep. I knew from experience that all I could do was wait until I finally snapped back to my previous location, but I was worried that the guard would continue to attack me and do damage even though I was supposedly way out over the field. Fortunately my clannfear and nightwing matriarch kept him busy, and I was able to finish him off after I snapped back.

max_only

SeaGtGruff wrote: »

I was capturing a resource solo, fighting a guard and a mender inside the tower by the banner. The guard gave me a whack and I went sailing through the tower wall, floating over the banner and out above the open field toward the keep. I knew from experience that all I could do was wait until I finally snapped back to my previous location, but I was worried that the guard would continue to attack me and do damage even though I was supposedly way out over the field. Fortunately my clannfear and nightwing matriarch kept him busy, and I was able to finish him off after I snapped back.

You met Guard Captain Babe Ruth

Katahdin

Midyear crash-o-rama

The client has crashed more in the last two days than its done since beta

doomette

Me, I’m sure, when I try my first battleground to get the achievement. I’m going to read up on the modes first so I’m not going in completely blind, but to my future teammates: I am so sorry.

barney2525

Ye_Olde_Crowe wrote: »

I actually killed another player!

To explain things... well, I'm totally useless in PvP so I'm doing scouting missions mostly. This morning, I totally botched my tree snooker move when jumping down a mountain, and I, well, broke my neck when hitting the ground instead of the trees. My ghost got up, dusted itself off, looked around - and in the very same moment, an enemy player came crashing down the very same mountain, hitting the ground right beside me. They had been a tad better at their tree snooker because they didn't die, but were reduced to a very slim strip of health.
Just then I respawned, bashed them with my staff (just once), and they died... my first and only kill during this MM!

Good job! Congratulations

Although next time you might want to just kill the character. You will have less police coming to look for you

barney2525

Katahdin wrote: »

Midyear crash-o-rama

The client has crashed more in the last two days than its done since beta

That's because the client has been drinking a lot more than it did during beta

Ascarl

I don t think we need a joke thread. The servers are more of à joke than anything you can write down.

Katahdin

barney2525 wrote: »

Katahdin wrote: »

Midyear crash-o-rama

The client has crashed more in the last two days than its done since beta

That's because the client has been drinking a lot more than it did during beta

They NEED to fix this, this is BS. I crash, log in, crash on loading screen, Client is logged in, client is logged in (NO I AM NOT!!!), Client is logged in

FINALLY GET IN, Crash as sooon as I get near almost any sized battle

It sucks and as much as I love MM event, if this is the best it can do< I hope they never have another one again

LarsS

Server will be fixed with next update 😂

Hapexamendios

Ysbriel wrote: »

Mine usually has a message across the top.

JumpmanLane

I go to the gate to turn in a bounty quest in order to start another bounty quest. A fool (Zone Nit Wit, you know the type), says, “Crush Lane (my toon’s name) is at the gate. I was like, “YOU’RE at the gate, dummy!”

Like wtf does that even mean ANYWAYS. The fool whispered me later on asking for a camp. Mind you I don’t know this fool from Adam. I told him, “Fool, I don’t carry camps for people like you. If you got time to type silly stuff in ZONE, you got time to KITE...better than you kited.”

He told me I was rude lol. I was like, “All right, all right, where are you dead?” I found him and tbagged him. Then I left

doomette

JumpmanLane wrote: »

I go to the gate to turn in a bounty quest in order to start another bounty quest. A fool (Zone Nit Wit, you know the type), says, “Crush Lane (my toon’s name) is at the gate. I was like, “YOU’RE at the gate, dummy!”

Like wtf does that even mean ANYWAYS. The fool whispered me later on asking for a camp. Mind you I don’t know this fool from Adam. I told him, “Fool, I don’t carry camps for people like you. If you got time to type silly stuff in ZONE, you got time to KITE...better than you kited.”

He told me I was rude lol. I was like, “All right, all right, where are you dead?” I found him and tbagged him. Then I left

Your style of PVP is not mine (I’m faaaar more carebear) but your posts are always entertaining, and I mean that non-snarkily.

rwil213

Was sneaking into Vlastarus while EP and AD were fighting. Thought it would be a good idea to rest and recover stam in this tent behind some rocks. Found out quickly the tent was actually an EP forward camp after about 8 people spawned on me. Good times. 🤦‍♂️

SeaGtGruff

I was supposed to capture Blue Road Lumber Mill, so I made my way there. I was about to go racing up to the tower when I saw that an EP player was already trying to capture it, so I went into sneak, turned around, and looked for a place to hide.

Just then another EP player comes racing over the hill on their mount, and practically tramples me, but I stay hidden. So I head for the nearest tree and start hugging it. I might add that I'd summoned my clannfear and nightwing matriarch before I saw the first EP player, and I decided not to dismiss them.

As I'm hugging the tree, a bunch of EP come running away from the lumber mill, chased by a bunch of AD. They're duking it out, and they're headed away from me, but I figure there's a good chance they'll carry the fight back in my direction, so I figure the best thing to do is to queue for Imperial City, then queue back to Cyrodiil so I can turn in the scouting mission I'd done before heading to Blue Road Lumber Mill.

The prompt pops up, and I accept. I can hardly see anything around me, but suddenly I'm being attacked, stabbed over and over again with Aedric Spear or whatever. I can't tell if it's AD or EP, but I figure it's AD. I can't do anything, but my character is grabbing his head and screaming. This goes on and on for several seconds-- I can just imagine the players, "Why! Won't! You! DIE!!!" Then I materialize in the Imperial City Sewers, only slightly less than full health.

Whew!

AgentZenish

Getting disconnected at a BRK fight on Laat

aaisoaho

A proud banana here, the peak of humor for me is: "Burma safe"/"is burma safe".

JumpmanLane

doomette wrote: »

JumpmanLane wrote: »

I go to the gate to turn in a bounty quest in order to start another bounty quest. A fool (Zone Nit Wit, you know the type), says, “Crush Lane (my toon’s name) is at the gate. I was like, “YOU’RE at the gate, dummy!”

Like wtf does that even mean ANYWAYS. The fool whispered me later on asking for a camp. Mind you I don’t know this fool from Adam. I told him, “Fool, I don’t carry camps for people like you. If you got time to type silly stuff in ZONE, you got time to KITE...better than you kited.”

He told me I was rude lol. I was like, “All right, all right, where are you dead?” I found him and tbagged him. Then I left

Your style of PVP is not mine (I’m faaaar more carebear) but your posts are always entertaining, and I mean that non-snarkily.

I unno, I'm jus' a lil' Lane. I try!

spartaxoxo

I was in battlegrounds for under 50s. An enemy player that was very low level kept trying to heal me to death, even though i was ignoring him, while strafing back and forth. I just grabbed his relic and left.

HappyLittleTree

Want to hear a joke?:
My PVP skills

gepe87

Killing that bomblade and get his and my group mates tel var in imp city