Midyear Mayhem Humor

SeaGtGruff

Got a funny story? A joke? Share it here!

I'll start it off with a joke.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because my scouting mission objective was on the other side.

ArchMikem

What's the number one profession in the Dominion?

Farmer.

max_only

A joke: AD offense
No joke: AD defense

A tragedy: yellow never pushes red, always waits until blue is busy to attack Nikel, Brindle and Ash.

Oh here’s another joke for pc/na Kaalgrontiid:
Yellow hammer.

Saelent

A joke: My damage...



Vs a glass canon player.

Karmanorway

You are stuck in combat 😅👍

NBrookus

I was questing today in Vlasterus, where I was sharing the town peacefully with about a half dozen AD and a couple of DC slinking around that I probably wasn't supposed to notice.

While talking to an NPC, a 4 man group of DC ran up on full attack. Their tank "taunted me" and they dropped a bunch of ground dots. Um, okay. Despite their vet trial titles and the experienced Lieutenant, they had not learned not to stand in a DK's Standard. Now perhaps they have.

The AD in hiding thanked me for the defense tick.

IndianaJames7

This joke is an oldie but a goodie:

Performance.

Cirantille

Can we talk about funny stuff that happened?

I saw a player meatbagging a door

And 3 players light attacking a ram

I was like aww cute

daemonios

Ported to Carmala to hit Ash, but noticed that bananas were sieging the door. I was alone so thought I'd annoy them a bit then get killed and res somewhere else. Shot them from the balcony, making them leave their sieges for cover and slowing them down, but they finally broke the door and flipped the outpost.

I hid in a corner, expecting them to search for me as they knew I'd been shooting at them from upstairs, but they left immediately. Being inside already I thought I'd try to flip back the outpost, but ran into a lone banana. Now, I don't PvP much and was simply zerging along for the event boxes, but managed to kill the guy and proceeded to attack some guards by the first flag. The banana ressed at the outpost and tried to kill me again, but I went up the stairs to lose the NPCs and killed the guy again. Rinse and repeat, I think I killed him 6 times until a group of DC showed up and flipped the outpost.

I felt bad for the guy, who didn't get to score a win, but have to admit it felt good to wipe the floor with him repeatedly. He was probably a PvEr like me, but it was still a fun few minutes.

max_only

There’s only two factions in Cyrodiil: EP and DC; and EP on alt accounts playing AD.

max_only

2 hours to get into campaign, 7 minute load screens at every rez resulting in death. It’s hilarious! 🤣🤣

SeaGtGruff

Tonight I joined a DC zerg and at one point I decided to man one of the ballistas or whatever they're called. I guess they can run on automatic? But I didn't know that-- and I'm still uncertain about it-- so I was aiming it and firing whenever it was ready.

After we finished destroying the keep's gate, I tried to leave the ballista and go run inside, but I was stuck to the ballista. I was turning it to the left and right as I tried to break free, then I figured maybe I was supposed to click the mouse or something-- and I fired it 90 degrees to the left, right at one of the other ballistas.

Eventually I figured out that I needed to press ALT to stop manning the ballista. Fortunately nearly all of the other players had already run inside the keep and didn't see "the new guy" making a fool of himself.

BoraxFlux

SeaGtGruff wrote: »

Tonight I joined a DC zerg and at one point I decided to man one of the ballistas or whatever they're called. I guess they can run on automatic? But I didn't know that-- and I'm still uncertain about it-- so I was aiming it and firing whenever it was ready.

After we finished destroying the keep's gate, I tried to leave the ballista and go run inside, but I was stuck to the ballista. I was turning it to the left and right as I tried to break free, then I figured maybe I was supposed to click the mouse or something-- and I fired it 90 degrees to the left, right at one of the other ballistas.

Eventually I figured out that I needed to press ALT to stop manning the ballista. Fortunately nearly all of the other players had already run inside the keep and didn't see "the new guy" making a fool of himself.

Sieges must be manned. There is no animation for shooting a siege engine, so it may look as if it runs automatically if another player is activating it. You can stand some distance away to activate it even.

SeaGtGruff

BoraxFlux wrote: »

SeaGtGruff wrote: »

Tonight I joined a DC zerg and at one point I decided to man one of the ballistas or whatever they're called. I guess they can run on automatic? But I didn't know that-- and I'm still uncertain about it-- so I was aiming it and firing whenever it was ready.

After we finished destroying the keep's gate, I tried to leave the ballista and go run inside, but I was stuck to the ballista. I was turning it to the left and right as I tried to break free, then I figured maybe I was supposed to click the mouse or something-- and I fired it 90 degrees to the left, right at one of the other ballistas.

Eventually I figured out that I needed to press ALT to stop manning the ballista. Fortunately nearly all of the other players had already run inside the keep and didn't see "the new guy" making a fool of himself.

Sieges must be manned. There is no animation for shooting a siege engine, so it may look as if it runs automatically if another player is activating it. You can stand some distance away to activate it even.

Ah, thanks for clarifying! I know that last year when I was helping another player take a keep, he set up three or four ballistas or other siege engines and kept running back and forth from one to the next, firing them. But yeah, tonight it did look like they were operating themselves automatically.

Pauls

Real joke: AD wont do their morning cap

Rake

Mydyear joke?
It is held in january

BoraxFlux

Last Mayhem: We were sieging Sej, was busy firing a ballista when this player put up another one right behind me and complained to me he couldn't aim because I blocked the view.

max_only

So I was riding past a keep and someone tried to gank me off my horse (which never works) he threw everything but the kitchen sink at me. So I dismounted and stood still (happy personality so I was whistling cheerfully). He stopped attacking me and I think he was confused for a second. Then a group of 5 came over the hill from the nearby resource and completely destroyed him. It was hilarious. I didn’t even know those guys were there but the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

SeaGtGruff

BoraxFlux wrote: »

Last Mayhem: We were sieging Sej, was busy firing a ballista when this player put up another one right behind me and complained to me he couldn't aim because I blocked the view.

I think we should be able to put rams behind each other to get a multiplicative effect. (Insert buck-toothed dunce cap icon here.)

Cerotonin

A joke?

People continuing to siege the FD of a keep even though it’s been taken back

Taleof2Cities

PvP Guildmaster: "I thought I just saw my spot in the Cyrodiil queue go up from 49 to 50??"

Guildie: "Stamblade Priority."

Me: "Guild leader buff."

Jaimeh

Zone chat: Home keep UA, full zerg, getting flagged

DC:



Zone chat: 2 EP outside Chalman FD

DC:

JamieAubrey

Not being able to get into Cyro

Sheezabeast

Be me this afternoon: Went to go capture district for Star-Made Knight title. Forget that I have stick horse mount active. I ride around on it. I get zerged down by DC.

Banana

I have experienced no waiting or lag and exceptionally low ping during this event.

dem0n1k

Turned up to Aleswell with my guild... random pugs are at the farm (quite a lot of them!) so we head to the mine side & start seiging north wall outer & inner from the high-ground. We bust in.. go though the open postern, kill the DC inside, flip the flags & repair the walls... the whole time a SEA of EP pugs are seiging the front inner door & not noticing that it's health is not budging because the keep is already red. They were still seiging away happily when my guild rode out of the keep! LOL!

DarcyMardin

The joke is me. I suck at PvP and I almost never go to Cyrodiil. But for some odd reason I love these MM events. I slap on whatever impen armor sets I have stashed away and respec for heals & buffs and slot some immovable portions (that I usually forget to use). Then I join the zerg.

I’m a super easy target because 1. I have no idea what I’m doing, and 2. I throw myself into the fights anyway. It’s a good thing it’s not a *real* battle because some sort of primitive bloodlust comes over me and I have no fear. I’m a walking “come get your free AP here” sign. I laugh when I die, which is all the time, and rush to join the fight again.

If someone attacks me one on one, they are usually running circles around me (literally) while I’m frantically punchIng skills and pots and going, dude, where’s my shield?

I’m probably also one of the idjits meatbagging the door or light attacking the siege engine. Or — this is my favorite — getting proxy detted to death along with about 20 other folks right after capturing a resource. Twice. (I kinda wanna learn how to do that).

Have fun killing me, frenemies!

Cirantille

I play on AD.
So EP capped one of our home keeps.
But I was on second floor.
Then AD came back to Main gate to take it back.
So an EP player came to upstairs, started sieging the breach AD made while her friends downstairs doing the same.
So I put out my siege next to her and started sieging the EP on the yard that are sieging the AD at door.
No one suspected a thing
I guess with the thrill people miss things

ArchMikem

Cirantille wrote: »

I play on AD.
So EP capped one of our home keeps.
But I was on second floor.
Then AD came back to Main gate to take it back.
So an EP player came to upstairs, started sieging the breach AD made while her friends downstairs doing the same.
So I put out my siege next to her and started sieging the EP on the yard that are sieging the AD at door.
No one suspected a thing
I guess with the thrill people miss things

I always get so angry at how oblivious other Reds can be, but that scene wouldve been hilarious if i walked up on it.

SeaGtGruff

That sudden panic attack when you're successfully sneaking through enemy territory on a scouting mission, but suddenly you're detected...

by a mudcrab.

Victor_Blade

No Questing Allowed