Aigym Hlervu's Guide to Dunmeri Cuisine. Food, Drinks & Cooking Myths.

Aigym_Hlervu

A GUIDE TO DUNMERI CUISINE. FOOD, DRINKS & COOKING MYTHS

by Aigym Hlervu

INTRODUCTION

Under these sun and skies I greet you warmly, muthsera!
Once slurping that Solitude Salmon-Millet Soup I caught myself thinking: "Damn! Why the Oblivion I eat this Nordic gippo instead of eating my native Dunmeri food?". I also decided to open a restaurant, say "Hlervu's Dunmeri cuisine a la carte Restaurant", at one of my houses in Vvardenfell. What do you think of it? Anyway, we don't live to eat, but we eat to live. The variety of Dunmeri dishes fully describes the variety of our culture. Yes, these days the majority of tamrielics eat common food with no concern of what exactly do they eat. No matter what food it is - it buffs the attributes and the people feel fine. But every food is a cultural feature and not only a mean to buff stats. Sometimes it tells us much more regarding some specific culture than any book can ever describe. Tell me what you eat and I'll tell you what you are. For example that Falinesti Forbidden Fruit dish which is named after a Bosmeri lost city - this entremet type dish consists only of melon, radish and seasoning. An awful and useless meal, I might add.. It's 100% vegetable ingredients, so it is a pure violation of the Green Pact in the Bosmeri diet, thus it is called forbidden. Ah, those Bosmer do not wish neither to think nor to work while they are hungry, though when they're well-fed they just can't work at all. So if you happen to own a Bosmeri slave keep it half-starved to work more and to think less.

FOOD

This Guide is not intended to give you a description of any nutrition facts because they can change due to those strange Nirn-wide phenomenons when your, say, battle hammer was a Volendrung-like weapon yesterday, but today it can't help you to strike a nail into the wall. Food is not an exception here.. There are 277 known recipes of common pan-tamrielic and national dishes overall today. Though some future events might bring us some more recipes, 27 out of those 277 are purely Dunmeri dishes. I think it is a great number. Our dishes consist of seven main types:
seven fruit dishes:
Deshaan Honeydew Hors D'Ouevre,
Redoran Peppered Melon,
Garlic Guar Stuffed Grape Leaves,
Stormhold Baked Bananas,
Kragenmoor Pickled Pumpkin,
Ordinator's Beetle-Cheese Soup
and
House Hlaalu Pumpkin Risotto;
four vegetable dishes:
Balmora Cabbage Biscuits,
Indoril Radish Tartlets,
Vvardenfell Ash Yam Loaf
and
Velothi Cabbage Soup),
two savoury dishes:
Grape-Glazed Bantam Guar,
Ashlander Nix-Hound Chili),
three ragout dishes:
Narsis Bantam Guar Hash,
Necrom Beetle-Cheese Poutine,
Kwama Egg Omelet;
two gourmet dishes:
Vvardenfell Cliff Racer Ragout
and
Ashlander Ochre Mash;
and four meat dishes:
Blacklight Oxen Meatballs,
Curried Kwama Scrib Risotto,
Dunmeri Jerked Horse Haunch,
Kwama Egg Quiche;
as many as three national delicacy dishes:
Lava Foot Soup and Saltrice,
Deregulated Mushroom Stew,
Clockwork Citrus Filet;
and two furnishing dishes:
Clockwork Bowl, Nutriment Paste,
Ashlander Platter, Bread and Cheese.

So now you see the most common ingredients we use are melons, saltrice, seasoning, cheese, bananas (if a dish was invented in our Southern regions like Stormhold), pumpkin, tomatoes, greens, flour, radish, potato, poultry, Jazbay grapes, white and red meat, garlic, beets, game and small game, carrots, those rare Frost Miriam plant and perfect roe, scrib jelly, Namira's rot, Imp stool and lemons. As you see it, all the major Dunmeri factions have its signature dish. Though of course it doesn't mean you have to eat that Ordinator's Beetle-Cheese Soup only after becoming an Ordinator (check my guide to become the one here). Those Clockwork City flavorless nutriment paste, fabricant meat, few organic foods harvested at the Everwound Wellspring farm only due to continious sacrifices of the locals, etc. are beyond of my views on Good and Evil. I only hope that fabricated "food" won't become cheaper than that organic one so merchants and food manufacturers will not switch all their assets to produce that dung. Clockwork Citrus Filet's nutriment facts are very high, but this delicacy dish is made of fabricant flesh, perfectly seared and braised in local "fruits". Same story is with that fabricant Deregulated Mushroom Stew. Hm.. I'd better eat that Frosted brain on a stick. It's organic after all: white meat, honey.. Mm, yammy! This list is not final - some recipes like Redoran Cooking Secrets contain some exotic types of ingredients to cook seemingly common dishes like Crab Meat Stew and Frog Muffins. Though I guess you won't try to find any frogs to cook that dish, House Redoran knows not only the ways of killing, but also the ways of cooking.

COOKING MYTH

Do we have any cooking myths? Yes! Some foreign nations say we eat horses. Haha, a nice try to slander there. But an effective one though.. The only known "horse" dish we have is that Dunmeri Jerked Horse Haunch. Yes, it is a meat type dish, but look at its ingredients - radish and seasoning only! Yuck.. Anyway, some may say that horse meat is a "secret ingredient" of that recipe thus it's left unmentioned. But it is not true because three other Dunmeri dishes of that type do have at least red meat or poultry on the list thus representing certain meat ingredients to cook them. Kwama scrib's meat is considered to be a poultry type of meat there, while oxen meatballs are made of red meat. And of course you can't make Risotto without saltrice. Horses are passive animals, thus their meat ought to be white meat. But it is not on the list. Just ask yourself: "If horse meat cooking is so common to Dunmer society, why is there not a single recipe to cook it out there within all the riches of the local cuisine?" I guess the answer is clear. So no horses here until you find a single Dunmer eating it.

Moreover, according to the Ordinator Edict Mandate Twenty-One, creatures' meat cataloged in the Sacred Register of Unclean Beasts is not permitted within Vivec City limits. This list includes many milk-producing beasts, owls, tailless apes, dreugh larvae, and egg-laden crustaceans. Horses are milk-producing animals and thus seem to be considered unclean. So if a merchant does not want to be sentenced to the forfeiture of any Writs of Divine Sanction, fines, and possible corporal reeducation he will not sell it in Vivec City and will submit all the meat he sells for an inspection by a Temple-appointed Dreni'urolan. That Sacred Register of Unclean Beasts might also be the real reason horses are naturally absent in Vvardenfell. That outlanders' fear for us eating their steeds in the streets is nonsense. We are not horse eaters!

ON TO THE DRINKS!

There are 277 known recipes of common pan-tamrielic and national drinks overall today. Morrowind is well known for its traditional alcohol drinks exports of
Greef (a Distillate type of drink),
Sujamma (a Liqueur type of drink),
Shein (a Tincture type of drink),
Flin (a Tincture type of drink)
and Mazte. Though some mazte types like Psijic Sage's Mazte might be brewed outside of Morrowind, it is none the less a Dunmeri national drink. Today we have 14 (!) types only of mazte among those 277 recipes:
Mazte,
Lemon Flower Mazte,
Acai Dry Mazte,
Gossamer Mazte,
Spiced Mazte,
Double Clarified Mazte,
Summer Mazte,
Monkeypants Mazte,
Lusty Argonian Maid Mazte,
Sweet Scamp Mazte,
Blacklight Ginger Mazte,
Necrom Nights Mazte,
Kagouti Kick Mazte,
Psijic Sage's Mazte
and
Kragenmoor Zinger Mazte.
I've said it's 14 types, but mentioned 15 here. Why? All those mazte types are made of rice except that Sweet Scamp "Mazte" which is made of Surilie Grapes, so technically this type of mazte is not mazte at all. It's a counterfeit alcohol product for sure, I do not recommend you to drink. An honorable Dunmer would never drink that booze.

Soft drinks are less known outside of Morrowind. We have 4 sorts of tea represented by
Vivec's Gingergreen Chai,
Mournhold Twister,
Telvanni Tea
and
Muthsera's Remorse.
Among those sorts of tea today I'd recommend you to try Muthsera's Remorse for it's bold and earthy taste and Telvanni tea (yes, the Bug Musk perfume is not the only good product our Telvanni kin have invented) for it's invigorating flavor which not only brings you clarity of thought but also restores your stamina.

And finally we have five more drinks we make here:
Narsis Wickweat Ale,
Fyr's Hyperagonal Potation,
Spring-Loaded Infusion,
Clockwork Cup, Recycled Water,
and possibly
Velothi View Vintage Malbec.
Well, there's nothing special with that ale (House Hlaalu has never invented anything outstanding) and Velothi View wine (though I think it's the only non-dunmeri product mentioned here - wines are not Dunmeri featured drinks, though this one resembles that homonymous Velothi part which could be given after the Velothi Mountains instead of the Velothi people), though the wine is hard enough. Recycled water is just.. recycled water.. This water is on the list because nobody recycles water beyond Clockwork City. And that Spring-Loaded Infusion drink.. As all those Clockwork City "dishes" this one is brewed from potable liquids in the Clockwork City. Probably volatile, as the description states it, and quite eye-opening. Well, that's eye-opening for sure, because this "drink" is made of Dwarven Oil and moreover is considered to be a delicacy type of drink!.. Fyr's Hyperagonal Potation is something! I've never thought Divayth's advanced age is based on that hard drinking.

That's all for now. Thanks to everyone who has read it all. Bon appetite to you!

My recently written Guide to Redguard Cuisine is located here, enjoy the reading!
Both paintings made by Igor Levchenko.

Valykc

Great write up but how dare you post something constructive at the current time. We need more annoyed threads about the event failure lmao 😂

Sporvan

Lovely post! :-) I'd love a writeup on all race dishes! Well done and good change from the usual subject matter!

Aigym_Hlervu

Thank you, guys. Which race's cuisine would you wish to read about, @Sporvan? I might make it if I have some time, though I'll have to make a full research from its start, because I'm not as good at cooking those outlander's dishes and almost unfamiliar with that dishes lore .. Dunmeri cuisine has been familiar to me in its basis since TES III, so I just refreshed some aspects of my knowledge before writing this guide . I have too much to share on that matter still, but the Guide is already a wall of text. Still I have to say since the other races' cuisine is familiar to me superficially, I'd like to read a guide to other races' cuisine myself . It's quite interesting.

MartiniDaniels

Oh my, what a thread! I will keep this to read when chewing something ^^

Jaimeh

Cygemai_Hlervu wrote: »

[It's a counterfeit alcohol product for sure, I do not recommend you to drink. An honorable Dunmer would never drink that booze.

Well, there's nothing special with that ale (House Hlaalu has never invented anything outstanding)

Those parts made me laugh! What an excellent post, of course Dunmer would enjoy the fine cuisine.

Ysbriel

Horses are a source of lean protein, meat with radish let alone horseradish is an awesome dish.

Nairinhe

Now I'm hungry

redlink1979

Great post, @Cygemai_Hlervu ! Congrats!

Could you write about the Reguards someday? I'd really appreciate that.

Aigym_Hlervu

redlink1979 wrote: »

Great post, @Cygemai_Hlervu ! Congrats!

Could you write about the Reguards someday? I'd really appreciate that.

Thank you much, Redlink ! I'm not a specialist in the cuisine of Redguards, but I'll try. I'll have to read some books, visit Hammerfell taverns and talk to some locals while I'm online before writing it. So it won't be as fast as I've written this guide. But since Hammerfell is the only country I like after Morrowind, it will be a pleasure to me to visit it again to make such a research. I only hope Redguards' cuisine is rich enough to write a guide to it.

ZOS_Adrikoth

This is a really awesome post @Cygemai_Hlervu thanks for putting this together and sharing!

Jayne_Doe

Great read! It made me think about the original provisioning recipes, which were actually based on local ingredients.

I remember collecting kwama eggs and scuttle meat for some tasty dishes! Also, sujamma berries and ash millett for refreshing beverages!

I miss my meal of Scuttle Scramble with Ash-Slake Ale!

Varana

Why would eating horse be slanderous? Showing your real-world influence here?

Anyway, this is amazing!

Aigym_Hlervu

ZOS_Adrikoth wrote: »

This is a really awesome post @Cygemai_Hlervu thanks for putting this together and sharing!

All the thanks are to you and your team, @ZOS_Adrikoth. Thank you all for making TES games, for decades of awesome work and for writing such a great lore - this thread would have never existed without it.

Varana wrote: »

Why would eating horse be slanderous? Showing your real-world influence here?

Anyway, this is amazing!

Haha, no! As far as I remember there was a post about 17 years ago on the Internet regarding TES III release: someone asked something like "Why there are no horses in Morrowind?" and the devs said that Vvardenfell's environment is not suitable for them and that Dunmer find horses to be a great dish. Something of that sort of thing.. Anyway, today we see the dev team remembers that thing because we have that Dunmeri Jerked Horse Haunch dish. So I've noticed it and have mentioned it in the guide. Moreover there are some references to horse eating in the games. Our old friend M'aiq the Liar once said: "I do not wish to fight on horseback. It is a good way to ruin a perfectly good horse... which is, to say, a perfectly good dinner." So, it's an old lore feature, no influence IRL here . Thank you for reading!

Taleof2Cities

Very well done, @Cygemai_Hlervu!

Reminds me of the days picking Saltrice and Wickwheat back in ESIII:Morrowind circa 2004.

Cloudtrader

Fun! I always look at the recipes in-game and wonder about how to make them (palatable) in real life.

Aigym_Hlervu

redlink1979 wrote: »

Great post, @Cygemai_Hlervu ! Congrats!

Could you write about the Reguards someday? I'd really appreciate that.

It's done, Redlink. Here it is, thanks for reading and sorry for another wall of text.

Konstant_Tel_Necris

Cygemai_Hlervu wrote: »

INTRODUCTION

Moreover, according to the Ordinator Edict Mandate Twenty-One, creatures' meat cataloged in the Sacred Register of Unclean Beasts is not permitted within Vivec City limits. This list includes many milk-producing beasts, owls, tailless apes, dreugh larvae, and egg-laden crustaceans. Horses are milk-producing animals and thus seem to be considered unclean. So if a merchant does not want to be sentenced to the forfeiture of any Writs of Divine Sanction, fines, and possible corporal reeducation he will not sell it in Vivec City and will submit all the meat he sells for an inspection by a Temple-appointed Dreni'urolan. That Sacred Register of Unclean Beasts might also be the real reason horses are naturally absent in Vvardenfell. That outlanders' fear for us eating their steeds in the streets is nonsense. We are not horse eaters!

Well lore contradicts this, for first dunmers eat horses accordingly to Divayth Fyr

The King, not knowing very well of the Dunmer traditions and culture, offered one of his finest steeds to me when I began my service in Cyrodil. Had this grand beast been found in Vvardenfel, it may very well have been on a spit above a well tendered firepit. However, having been in the service and presence of the Empire these past couple of years, I have grown to appreciate and respect these beasts which are so foreign to me, other than on a plate with fine herbs. I respectfully accepted this gift and promised a good life for it. This "horse", which I titled Xyldan, has since become more than a tool. Xyldan and I have bonded and I am honored to have such a friend as he. I have known many Dunmer who have befriended guar, and for this, I thought them silly. I now understand this bond and it is far from silly. I may be older than many pines of the north, but it is never too late for an old Dunmer to learn and find sense in that of which he never thought so. So then, Xyldan and I now traveled together west, home.
Xyldan and I paid a visit to the local outfitter and stocked up on goods for the remainder of our journey. Xyldan seemed uneasy as he glanced over this new land. I am quite sure the worry was fueled by the hungry look in the eyes of my fellow Dunmer. I am home however, and these are my peoples. They know of me and would not dare make a meal utensil visible in the sights of Xyldan, knowing full well, he is my loyal friend.

https://www.imperial-library.info/content/return-fellow-scholar

For second, guars are milk-producing animals,

"Guar (g'war): The domesticated guar represents milk, meat, leather, and transport for Vvardenfell's settled Velothi ranchers and Ashland nomads. In its natural state, the aggressive and territorial wild guar is hunted for meat and hides, and the larger feral tiger guar is a highly prized game animal for noble huntsmen."

https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Guar
https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/2yw91f/lorebits_from_the_very_old_morrowind_website/

From other side I understand why Mandate Twenty-One restrict dunmers from such traditional culinary, as Vivec include additional meanings into "milk" like "fathers milk-fingers" for example while Temple just accept its literal description as one truth.

Path

Woah. Nice!

WiseSky

@Cygemai_Hlervu
Wow great work

bearbelly

Awesome write-up! There are quite a few recipes here that I didn't know existed. I have some work to do.

Would love to see a similar write-up for Nord culture.

Aigym_Hlervu

Konstant_Tel_Necris wrote: »

Cygemai_Hlervu wrote: »

INTRODUCTION

Moreover, according to the Ordinator Edict Mandate Twenty-One, creatures' meat cataloged in the Sacred Register of Unclean Beasts is not permitted within Vivec City limits. This list includes many milk-producing beasts, owls, tailless apes, dreugh larvae, and egg-laden crustaceans. Horses are milk-producing animals and thus seem to be considered unclean. So if a merchant does not want to be sentenced to the forfeiture of any Writs of Divine Sanction, fines, and possible corporal reeducation he will not sell it in Vivec City and will submit all the meat he sells for an inspection by a Temple-appointed Dreni'urolan. That Sacred Register of Unclean Beasts might also be the real reason horses are naturally absent in Vvardenfell. That outlanders' fear for us eating their steeds in the streets is nonsense. We are not horse eaters!

Well lore contradicts this, for first dunmers eat horses accordingly to Divayth Fyr
...
For second, guars are milk-producing animals,
...
From other side I understand why Mandate Twenty-One restrict dunmers from such traditional culinary, as Vivec include additional meanings into "milk" like "fathers milk-fingers" for example while Temple just accept its literal description as one truth.

Yeah, I'm aware of it. And thanks to the Inquisitor Nivos Uveran, the 21st Mandate formulation refering to the Sacred Register of Unclean Beasts says the list includes many milk-producing beasts, but not all of them. Of course, horses might be excluded from the list as well as guars are, but the difference is that we do have several guar meat dishes there while not a single horse meat dish is present. So, we might be supposed to eat it in the lore, though we still don't eat it in the game actually. At least today. I hope sometimes the lore and the game design teams cooperate a bit stronger, so some day we could read that Sacred Register as an in-game book and try that horse meat in a certain provisioning recipe. I think the easiest way is to add a single, say, white meat ingredient to that Dunmeri Jerked Horse Haunch to make it a horse haunch actually. Anyway, the devs have already done an awesome work, I think they know it better than me and it's up to them to decide how the things should be arranged there. I'm just a guest in the world they have created .

Thank you all guys! Have a good day there!

emilyhyoyeon

Cygemai, I always love your cultural posts. and the art you used is AMAZING I love the style so much

Aigym_Hlervu

emilyhyoyeon wrote: »

Cygemai, I always love your cultural posts. and the art you used is AMAZING I love the style so much

Thanks much, Emily! The art is magnificent indeed. A very talented artist Mr. Levchenko is. He has painted many pictures of various styles and themes - Dunmeri pictures are just a small part of them. Here is a link to his "Deviant Art" gallery if you'd like to see more of his works. And here are some more pictures he has created:

Davadin

NOW DO NORD.