Super Chill TES Discord Server - LGBTQ Friendly!

TheRiversEdge

Do you want a chill place to:

- Casually discuss TES stuff and have some freedom to joke around?
- Enjoy TES discussions in an LGBTQ-friendly space?
- Meet other laid-back TES fans?
- Discuss and share characters?
- Share dumb TES memes?????

Then you have come to the right place! There is definitely a large focus on ESO, but other TES games can be discussed as well. If we get enough members, perhaps we can start holding some casual events as well, both in-game and not. Who knows, maybe it could one day become an entire guild!

But, basically, if your sense of humor is dumb enough to register the below image as funny, we'd love for you to join. Keep in mind though, it's 18+ which should go without saying but, still.

>> JOIN HERE <<

TheRiversEdge

Please ALSO keep in mind that while this server is chill, it can only stay chill if members abide by the rules in the screenshot below:

geonsocal

that's great to see the eso community, provide a community for so many people...

just wondering - what does the q stand for?

Edit: just looked it up...

best of luck and fun

TheRiversEdge

geonsocal wrote: »

that's great to see the eso community, provide a community for so many people...

just wondering - what does the q stand for?

I'm glad!!! And the Q technically isn't an official part of the acronym but it covers a lot of bases so it's used often. It stands for qu*er which is a term a lot of people in the LGBT community have reclaimed for themselves.

117Dios

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

phermitgb

I don't necessarily want to be "that guy", but there's no way around this...

rule II - " ...this isn't the place to vent frustrations or create discourse..."

perhaps you meant "...or create discord..." or start a fight" or whatever - I assume you meant that this was not a place to make people angry or start argumentative attacks

the reason I bring it up, is that "discourse" is just communication, which is actually EXACTLY what it sounds like you created the site for

and yes, I see the irony in using discord to create a discussion area that is not a place to create discord...but still

point being, I appreciate the intent of your discord site, and wish it well - but in the interests of not having someone constantly point out the above questionable grammar, you might want to rewrite that particular word

just trying to help - honest

TheRiversEdge

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

Well, that's because a lot of Discord servers aren't very LGBTQ friendly. This server is labeled as such because myself and many of the other members are part of that community and would like to enjoy a server that isn't riddled with homophobic/transphobic jokes or comments. Some might see this as the opposite of chill, but that's fine. The less homophobic/transphobic behavior we have in the server, the more relaxed of an environment it is. Hope that makes more sense!

brandonv516

"freedom to joke around"

Unless someone is offended in which you have the freedom to leave.

TheRiversEdge

phermitgb wrote: »

I don't necessarily want to be "that guy", but there's no way around this...

rule II - " ...this isn't the place to vent frustrations or create discourse..."

perhaps you meant "...or create discord..." or start a fight" or whatever - I assume you meant that this was not a place to make people angry or start argumentative attacks

the reason I bring it up, is that "discourse" is just communication, which is actually EXACTLY what it sounds like you created the site for

and yes, I see the irony in using discord to create a discussion area that is not a place to create discord...but still

point being, I appreciate the intent of your discord site, and wish it well - but in the interests of not having someone constantly point out the above questionable grammar, you might want to rewrite that particular word

just trying to help - honest

I understand what you're saying, and I do appreciate the suggestion, though the reason I used the term "discourse" is because in most communities I'm in, discourse is a word generally used by others to describe hostile arguments. It's not technically correct, but I think it gets the point across. Of course, friendly debate is 100% welcome. My apologies if that wasn't clear.

TheRiversEdge

brandonv516 wrote: »

"freedom to joke around"

Unless someone is offended in which you have the freedom to leave.

Hey, just don't joke at the expense of others' struggles, and you'll be fine! There are plenty of ways to joke around and have fun without being edgy. If you disagree with our rules, you don't need to join.

phermitgb

TheRiversEdge wrote: »

phermitgb wrote: »

I don't necessarily want to be "that guy", but there's no way around this...

rule II - " ...this isn't the place to vent frustrations or create discourse..."

perhaps you meant "...or create discord..." or start a fight" or whatever - I assume you meant that this was not a place to make people angry or start argumentative attacks

the reason I bring it up, is that "discourse" is just communication, which is actually EXACTLY what it sounds like you created the site for

and yes, I see the irony in using discord to create a discussion area that is not a place to create discord...but still

point being, I appreciate the intent of your discord site, and wish it well - but in the interests of not having someone constantly point out the above questionable grammar, you might want to rewrite that particular word

just trying to help - honest

I understand what you're saying, and I do appreciate the suggestion, though the reason I used the term "discourse" is because in most communities I'm in, discourse is a word generally used by others to describe hostile arguments. It's not technically correct, but I think it gets the point across. Of course, friendly debate is 100% welcome. My apologies if that wasn't clear.

no worries - your site, you use the language you want - just offering up a suggestion
and yes, people frequently use the wrong words for particular ideas...and it spreads...and builds...and...

sorry - english major - on an unrelated note, also not for you particularly, just a statement in general...

URBAN DICTIONARY IS **NOT** AN AUTHORITATIVE SOURCE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!!

MinarasLaure

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

Because words like [snip] are used too often, especially in pvp.
Many times they're just random insults cause people run out of "ideas" , and they don't really mean to insult that specific category, but still, it is offensive to lgtbq people.

[Edited for bypassing the filter]

ThinkerOfThings

TheRiversEdge wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

Well, that's because a lot of Discord servers aren't very LGBTQ friendly. This server is labeled as such because myself and many of the other members are part of that community and would like to enjoy a server that isn't riddled with homophobic/transphobic jokes or comments. Some might see this as the opposite of chill, but that's fine. The less homophobic/transphobic behavior we have in the server, the more relaxed of an environment it is. Hope that makes more sense!

It's not just discord servers...

TheRiversEdge

MinarasLaure wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

Because words like [snip] are used too often, especially in pvp.
Many times they're just random insults cause people run out of "ideas" , and they don't really mean to insult that specific category, but still, it is offensive to lgtbq people.
[Edited for bypassing the filter]

^^^^^^^^^^^^ well said

TheRiversEdge

ThinkerOfThings wrote: »

TheRiversEdge wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

Well, that's because a lot of Discord servers aren't very LGBTQ friendly. This server is labeled as such because myself and many of the other members are part of that community and would like to enjoy a server that isn't riddled with homophobic/transphobic jokes or comments. Some might see this as the opposite of chill, but that's fine. The less homophobic/transphobic behavior we have in the server, the more relaxed of an environment it is. Hope that makes more sense!

It's not just discord servers...

Oh definitely not, but I mention Discord servers specifically since that's what's being asked about haha

Stefirex

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

And another troll pops their head in. I get this question daily when I advertise an LGBT Friendly guild. We specify it because people in the real world and in the game can be decidedly ANTI-LGBT Friendly. Specifying it makes certain that you know what's expected of you if you join the guild or this server. Doesn't matter how many times you explain this though, people will still ask the same tired question and wonder why you think they're being rude. If you don't like how a guild, game, Discord, TS or other gathering is advertised. DON'T JOIN IT! It's quite simple really.

xenowarrior92eb17_ESO

@TheRiversEdge I see Sotha Sil did a technological breakthrough... I hope we get new mounts as BMW and Porsche soon!

TheRiversEdge

xenowarrior92eb17_ESO wrote: »

@TheRiversEdge I see Sotha Sil did a technological breakthrough... I hope we get new mounts as BMW and Porsche soon!

L M A O now wouldn't that be something...

Anotherone773

Stefirex wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

And another troll pops their head in. I get this question daily when I advertise an LGBT Friendly guild. We specify it because people in the real world and in the game can be decidedly ANTI-LGBT Friendly. Specifying it makes certain that you know what's expected of you if you join the guild or this server. Doesn't matter how many times you explain this though, people will still ask the same tired question and wonder why you think they're being rude. If you don't like how a guild, game, Discord, TS or other gathering is advertised. DON'T JOIN IT! It's quite simple really.

But this attitude is defeating the purpose. You want understanding and acceptance but call people trolls when they ask a question and are probably trying to understand. Its hard to be accepting when you dont even understand isnt it? Let's see if i can help you understand.

I am a straight person. I dont care about your sex, sexual preference, race, religion, or favorite food. We just play a video game together. I dont see people of " Race X" advertising "Race X friendly guild/chat/etc." I dont see people of " Religion Y" advertising "Religion Y or friends of religion Y" and i dont see straight people advertising "Straight only".

Why dont i see these things but i always see LBGTQ? And furthermore why should anyone care what your preferences are if we are just playing a game? This is what is confusing to straight people. I mean your purpose could just be interpreted as stirring the pot or even baiting people to react. AKA: your just doing it to cause trouble. Its a legit assumption because some people just feel the need to force their beliefs or preferences on everyone, regardless of what that may be in a variety of categories.


And then @MinarasLaure gave an answer the rest of us can understand. As a straight person i see those words as fairly harmless, though extremely childish. And even then it gets on my nerves to listen to someone attempt to use them as insult. And when use against me i usually just say something funny like " Only with you" and laugh it off.

But it does make sense now why LBGTQ players may want an environment in which they dont have to listen to that crap. I even get tired of it as a straight person. I can imagine its far worse for them. See i understand the premise of these "LBGTQ friendly" organizations in games now. I am no longer Q as in questioning.

No insults needed, no defense or justification just an explanation of the logic behind it was enough. That is all.

datgladiatah

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

Are you LGBT? Most of us just want to be with people like us because people like to think we can all be uniform with the *** homophobic gaming community. Sometimes we don't want be called slurs or be erased in conversations by people who aren't comfortable being open about ourselves. Just some food for thought

datgladiatah

Anotherone773 wrote: »

Stefirex wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

And another troll pops their head in. I get this question daily when I advertise an LGBT Friendly guild. We specify it because people in the real world and in the game can be decidedly ANTI-LGBT Friendly. Specifying it makes certain that you know what's expected of you if you join the guild or this server. Doesn't matter how many times you explain this though, people will still ask the same tired question and wonder why you think they're being rude. If you don't like how a guild, game, Discord, TS or other gathering is advertised. DON'T JOIN IT! It's quite simple really.

But this attitude is defeating the purpose. You want understanding and acceptance but call people trolls when they ask a question and are probably trying to understand. Its hard to be accepting when you dont even understand isnt it? Let's see if i can help you understand.

I am a straight person. I dont care about your sex, sexual preference, race, religion, or favorite food. We just play a video game together. I dont see people of " Race X" advertising "Race X friendly guild/chat/etc." I dont see people of " Religion Y" advertising "Religion Y or friends of religion Y" and i dont see straight people advertising "Straight only".

Why dont i see these things but i always see LBGTQ? And furthermore why should anyone care what your preferences are if we are just playing a game? This is what is confusing to straight people. I mean your purpose could just be interpreted as stirring the pot or even baiting people to react. AKA: your just doing it to cause trouble. Its a legit assumption because some people just feel the need to force their beliefs or preferences on everyone, regardless of what that may be in a variety of categories.


And then @MinarasLaure gave an answer the rest of us can understand. As a straight person i see those words as fairly harmless, though extremely childish. And even then it gets on my nerves to listen to someone attempt to use them as insult. And when use against me i usually just say something funny like " Only with you" and laugh it off.

But it does make sense now why LBGTQ players may want an environment in which they dont have to listen to that crap. I even get tired of it as a straight person. I can imagine its far worse for them. See i understand the premise of these "LBGTQ friendly" organizations in games now. I am no longer Q as in questioning.

No insults needed, no defense or justification just an explanation of the logic behind it was enough. That is all.

If you want to erase our existence because it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to join the discussion. You don't get it because you're not a part of what we experience on a daily basis, especially in the gaming community. Other LGBTQ people would rather be with people like them because we 'get' it, we get each other. Straight people, as you demonstrated, simply don't. We'd rather be seen for who we are and be understood because decades of homophobia and trauma makes us seek out similar companionship.

Samadhi

TheRiversEdge wrote: »

geonsocal wrote: »

that's great to see the eso community, provide a community for so many people...

just wondering - what does the q stand for?

I'm glad!!! And the Q technically isn't an official part of the acronym but it covers a lot of bases so it's used often. It stands for qu*er which is a term a lot of people in the LGBT community have reclaimed for themselves.

In Canada, it has been extended to LGBTQ2
in order to include a traditional classification of individuals from First Nations
known as "two spirited"

Do not use Discord much, but may very well look into joining
thank you for sharing

Anotherone773

phermitgb wrote: »

madchuska83 wrote: »

I'm going to start a straight white male friendly guild and advertise it as such. Think that'd go over well?

on a totally philosophical note...

when people describe a service, organization, site, whatever - as being specifically "group" friendly - does that mean that it is inherently UN-friendly to all other groups?

Or only that all other groups are assumed to receive "friendly" treatment and that the specified group is generally assumed to be a category that finds un-friendly reception by default, and so you have to specify that your particular organization is friendly to that particular group?

I feel like I explained that poorly

as an example - "gay" groups are generally expected to sometimes be the subjects of prejudice, which is why various sites/organizations had to describe themselves as being "gay" friendly - it was already assumed that those groups were, for example, white friendly, black friendly, male/female friendly, etc...(I'm guessing)

but, you could very easily assume that it's the other way around - that any group describing itself as "group" friendly is inherently UN-friendly (or at least doesn't guarantee friendly reception) to other groups

not making a judgement either way - just curious which way people swing - are non-specified "friendly" groups EX-clusionary, or IN-clusionary?...

From my experience LBGTQ people in real life are quite friendly towards straight people, in fact they are almost always more friendly than straight people and not because they are hitting on you which is an absurd assumption that straight people have as if a straight person hits on every person of the opposite sex.

But anyway, the wife and i have been to LBGTQ nightclubs and i found them to be accepting and friendly even though we were obviously straight. Actually my wife prefers to go to LBGTQ nightclubs because the people there are more "lively". They are more fun and give it a more club like atmosphere.

Though on the internet, they seem a bit more hostile... but doesnt everyone?

Samadhi

Anotherone773 wrote: »

Stefirex wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

And another troll pops their head in. I get this question daily when I advertise an LGBT Friendly guild. We specify it because people in the real world and in the game can be decidedly ANTI-LGBT Friendly. Specifying it makes certain that you know what's expected of you if you join the guild or this server. Doesn't matter how many times you explain this though, people will still ask the same tired question and wonder why you think they're being rude. If you don't like how a guild, game, Discord, TS or other gathering is advertised. DON'T JOIN IT! It's quite simple really.

But this attitude is defeating the purpose. You want understanding and acceptance but call people trolls when they ask a question and are probably trying to understand. Its hard to be accepting when you dont even understand isnt it? Let's see if i can help you understand.

I am a straight person. I dont care about your sex, sexual preference, race, religion, or favorite food. We just play a video game together. I dont see people of " Race X" advertising "Race X friendly guild/chat/etc." I dont see people of " Religion Y" advertising "Religion Y or friends of religion Y" and i dont see straight people advertising "Straight only".

Why dont i see these things but i always see LBGTQ? And furthermore why should anyone care what your preferences are if we are just playing a game? This is what is confusing to straight people. I mean your purpose could just be interpreted as stirring the pot or even baiting people to react. AKA: your just doing it to cause trouble. Its a legit assumption because some people just feel the need to force their beliefs or preferences on everyone, regardless of what that may be in a variety of categories.


And then @MinarasLaure gave an answer the rest of us can understand. As a straight person i see those words as fairly harmless, though extremely childish. And even then it gets on my nerves to listen to someone attempt to use them as insult. And when use against me i usually just say something funny like " Only with you" and laugh it off.

But it does make sense now why LBGTQ players may want an environment in which they dont have to listen to that crap. I even get tired of it as a straight person. I can imagine its far worse for them. See i understand the premise of these "LBGTQ friendly" organizations in games now. I am no longer Q as in questioning.

No insults needed, no defense or justification just an explanation of the logic behind it was enough. That is all.

Thank you for taking the time to write up a look in to why there is struggle to communicate and comprehend at times
and thank you for taking the time to reflect and recognize the struggles of others

not directly related to LGBT struggles
but a somewhat relevant video regarding the impact of another word that is thrown around to 'insult' people
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz6xw6mHFV4

Recremen

phermitgb wrote: »

madchuska83 wrote: »

I'm going to start a straight white male friendly guild and advertise it as such. Think that'd go over well?

on a totally philosophical note...

when people describe a service, organization, site, whatever - as being specifically "group" friendly - does that mean that it is inherently UN-friendly to all other groups?

Or only that all other groups are assumed to receive "friendly" treatment and that the specified group is generally assumed to be a category that finds un-friendly reception by default, and so you have to specify that your particular organization is friendly to that particular group?

I feel like I explained that poorly

as an example - "gay" groups are generally expected to sometimes be the subjects of prejudice, which is why various sites/organizations had to describe themselves as being "gay" friendly - it was already assumed that those groups were, for example, white friendly, black friendly, male/female friendly, etc...(I'm guessing)

but, you could very easily assume that it's the other way around - that any group describing itself as "group" friendly is inherently UN-friendly (or at least doesn't guarantee friendly reception) to other groups

not making a judgement either way - just curious which way people swing - are non-specified "friendly" groups EX-clusionary, or IN-clusionary?...

Some folks think that mentioning LGBTQ+ is inherently hostile to straights, somehow. For these people, anything that acknowledges that minorities exist is considered an attack. I'm not saying that's what the person you're responding to believes, but it's at the very least probably coming from an adjacent mindset.

Anotherone773

datgladiatah wrote: »

Anotherone773 wrote: »

Stefirex wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

And another troll pops their head in. I get this question daily when I advertise an LGBT Friendly guild. We specify it because people in the real world and in the game can be decidedly ANTI-LGBT Friendly. Specifying it makes certain that you know what's expected of you if you join the guild or this server. Doesn't matter how many times you explain this though, people will still ask the same tired question and wonder why you think they're being rude. If you don't like how a guild, game, Discord, TS or other gathering is advertised. DON'T JOIN IT! It's quite simple really.

But this attitude is defeating the purpose. You want understanding and acceptance but call people trolls when they ask a question and are probably trying to understand. Its hard to be accepting when you dont even understand isnt it? Let's see if i can help you understand.

I am a straight person. I dont care about your sex, sexual preference, race, religion, or favorite food. We just play a video game together. I dont see people of " Race X" advertising "Race X friendly guild/chat/etc." I dont see people of " Religion Y" advertising "Religion Y or friends of religion Y" and i dont see straight people advertising "Straight only".

Why dont i see these things but i always see LBGTQ? And furthermore why should anyone care what your preferences are if we are just playing a game? This is what is confusing to straight people. I mean your purpose could just be interpreted as stirring the pot or even baiting people to react. AKA: your just doing it to cause trouble. Its a legit assumption because some people just feel the need to force their beliefs or preferences on everyone, regardless of what that may be in a variety of categories.


And then @MinarasLaure gave an answer the rest of us can understand. As a straight person i see those words as fairly harmless, though extremely childish. And even then it gets on my nerves to listen to someone attempt to use them as insult. And when use against me i usually just say something funny like " Only with you" and laugh it off.

But it does make sense now why LBGTQ players may want an environment in which they dont have to listen to that crap. I even get tired of it as a straight person. I can imagine its far worse for them. See i understand the premise of these "LBGTQ friendly" organizations in games now. I am no longer Q as in questioning.

No insults needed, no defense or justification just an explanation of the logic behind it was enough. That is all.

If you want to erase our existence because it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to join the discussion. You don't get it because you're not a part of what we experience on a daily basis, especially in the gaming community. Other LGBTQ people would rather be with people like them because we 'get' it, we get each other. Straight people, as you demonstrated, simply don't. We'd rather be seen for who we are and be understood because decades of homophobia and trauma makes us seek out similar companionship.

Your post tells me you immediately see all straight people as hostile to you. Read my post again, carefully. Nothing hostile in it. Then read my other post below that one. If i wanted to "erase" your existence, why would i willingly go with my wife to an LBGTQ nightclub?

If you want people to tolerate you, you have to start by tolerating them. That is a two way street. If you treat all straight people with hostility not only do you make them react in a hostile way but you set a bad example and defeat your goal of acceptance. How can i accept someone who is being hostile to me for no apparent reason?

Rohamad_Ali

TheRiversEdge wrote: »

Do you want a chill place to:

- Casually discuss TES stuff and have some freedom to joke around?
- Enjoy TES discussions in an LGBTQ-friendly space?
- Meet other laid-back TES fans?
- Discuss and share characters?
- Share dumb TES memes?????

Then you have come to the right place! There is definitely a large focus on ESO, but other TES games can be discussed as well. If we get enough members, perhaps we can start holding some casual events as well, both in-game and not. Who knows, maybe it could one day become an entire guild!

But, basically, if your sense of humor is dumb enough to register the below image as funny, we'd love for you to join. Keep in mind though, it's 18+ which should go without saying but, still.

>> JOIN HERE <<

That photo is from Black Desert Online community member isn't it ? CM Cool or something I think . You photoshop over his pic looks like .

Earrindo

I have never comprehended why people with no interest or connection to the LGBTQ+ Community feel such a need to post in threads like this.
I am hardly an SJW, nor do I have any particularly extreme viewpoints, but as a qu**r person who has played MMOs for 17 years, being a part of any minority in an MMO social environment can be incredibly frustrating.
People don't start LGBTQ+ Friendly guilds or forums to exclude the white cishet men who play MMOs. That is entirely not the point at all.
Those people don't *need* a safe space to chat and hang out. Nothing that gets said casually can touch a part of their identity and make it feel less than, or gross, or unacceptable.
Anyone in a minority group however does not have this luxury.

When folks go out of their way to create and try to maintain a space like the OP is doing, it is nothing against the straight white male gamers. It truly isn't.
It also isn't *for* you either. Join, by all means, chat, hang out, whatever. But unlike in 99% of other social settings in MMOs, when you offend someone's sense of self or identity, we don't have to just be quiet and take it. We can get rid of you to maintain our sense of safety and power.

It's great that so many gamers these days are "allies" or friendly or whatever. But I have to doubt the sincerity of your claims when you come into a thread like this, clearly not directed at you at all, and fire off projectiles at the OP. The fact that *you* are friendly doesn't mean everyone else is, so why are you making a fuss? Let us have a place to chat and hang out without ever feeling threatened.
What on earth could allowing that cost you personally? I am genuinely curious.

To the OP:
It always warms the cockles of my heart to see that the LGBTQ+ community has places to go to chat. Well done, and I wish you tons of luck!

datgladiatah

Anotherone773 wrote: »

datgladiatah wrote: »

Anotherone773 wrote: »

Stefirex wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

And another troll pops their head in. I get this question daily when I advertise an LGBT Friendly guild. We specify it because people in the real world and in the game can be decidedly ANTI-LGBT Friendly. Specifying it makes certain that you know what's expected of you if you join the guild or this server. Doesn't matter how many times you explain this though, people will still ask the same tired question and wonder why you think they're being rude. If you don't like how a guild, game, Discord, TS or other gathering is advertised. DON'T JOIN IT! It's quite simple really.

But this attitude is defeating the purpose. You want understanding and acceptance but call people trolls when they ask a question and are probably trying to understand. Its hard to be accepting when you dont even understand isnt it? Let's see if i can help you understand.

I am a straight person. I dont care about your sex, sexual preference, race, religion, or favorite food. We just play a video game together. I dont see people of " Race X" advertising "Race X friendly guild/chat/etc." I dont see people of " Religion Y" advertising "Religion Y or friends of religion Y" and i dont see straight people advertising "Straight only".

Why dont i see these things but i always see LBGTQ? And furthermore why should anyone care what your preferences are if we are just playing a game? This is what is confusing to straight people. I mean your purpose could just be interpreted as stirring the pot or even baiting people to react. AKA: your just doing it to cause trouble. Its a legit assumption because some people just feel the need to force their beliefs or preferences on everyone, regardless of what that may be in a variety of categories.


And then @MinarasLaure gave an answer the rest of us can understand. As a straight person i see those words as fairly harmless, though extremely childish. And even then it gets on my nerves to listen to someone attempt to use them as insult. And when use against me i usually just say something funny like " Only with you" and laugh it off.

But it does make sense now why LBGTQ players may want an environment in which they dont have to listen to that crap. I even get tired of it as a straight person. I can imagine its far worse for them. See i understand the premise of these "LBGTQ friendly" organizations in games now. I am no longer Q as in questioning.

No insults needed, no defense or justification just an explanation of the logic behind it was enough. That is all.

If you want to erase our existence because it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to join the discussion. You don't get it because you're not a part of what we experience on a daily basis, especially in the gaming community. Other LGBTQ people would rather be with people like them because we 'get' it, we get each other. Straight people, as you demonstrated, simply don't. We'd rather be seen for who we are and be understood because decades of homophobia and trauma makes us seek out similar companionship.

Your post tells me you immediately see all straight people as hostile to you. Read my post again, carefully. Nothing hostile in it. Then read my other post below that one. If i wanted to "erase" your existence, why would i willingly go with my wife to an LBGTQ nightclub?

If you want people to tolerate you, you have to start by tolerating them. That is a two way street. If you treat all straight people with hostility not only do you make them react in a hostile way but you set a bad example and defeat your goal of acceptance. How can i accept someone who is being hostile to me for no apparent reason?

"I am a straight person. I dont care about your sex, sexual preference, race, religion, or favorite food. We just play a video game together. I dont see people of " Race X" advertising "Race X friendly guild/chat/etc." I dont see people of " Religion Y" advertising "Religion Y or friends of religion Y" and i dont see straight people advertising "Straight only"."

This is the definition of "erasure". We are all varied, different, and unique people. You don't get to remove our identity for your political convenience. This is what i mean by erasing our existence. And you going into a gay club doesn't just make you an ally. For all I know you're harassing all the men that think you're there for them and make the mistake of hitting on you when you're clearly uncomfortable with the idea of us having safe spaces for 'us'. How would I know? It's the internet and you just made a bunch of very ignorant statements and you label it as genuine curiosity. What's that concept called? Pretty sure it's a form of gaslighting because it tricks people into answering a question they're not even interested in.

"Why dont i see these things but i always see LBGTQ? And furthermore why should anyone care what your preferences are if we are just playing a game? This is what is confusing to straight people. I mean your purpose could just be interpreted as stirring the pot or even baiting people to react. AKA: your just doing it to cause trouble. Its a legit assumption because some people just feel the need to force their beliefs or preferences on everyone, regardless of what that may be in a variety of categories."

It's really not up to you to understand because you aren't listening, but I did explain it in my previous post. Now you're complaining about me being hostile. I just don't get it. You ever get death threats, slurs thrown, and your entire life thrown up on a whim in federal legislature? It's something you either get or you don't. We're allowed our LGBT guilds and groups without it being needlessly questioned by straight people who are so overtly upset at us making groups around our community that they derail the entire thread over their mood. It's straight up unnecessary and you don't need to do this.

Anotherone773

@datgladiatah i will try to help you understand.

datgladiatah wrote: »

This is the definition of "erasure". We are all varied, different, and unique people. You don't get to remove our identity for your political convenience. This is what i mean by erasing our existence.

No that is the definition of an example. From what i understand of what you wrote in reply, you are offended by my use of generic terms for "minorities", which by the way are only minorities, usually, in certain parts of the world.

The reason i used generic names for examples is not to erase anything, but to prevent offense to anyone. I could specify a minority of some type for my part of the world( though if this the majority in your part of your world it may puzzle you) but if i did that then i would be singling out another minority, it just wouldnt be yours. So while you may not be offended by the use of the minority i use as example because it doesnt apply to you, someone of that minority may be offended by the use of it in that way.

You see for people that are of the majority, it really feels like a no win situation. We go out of our way not to offended and you get offended we are trying not to offend by not singling anyone out. How can i win but to just ignore you? That's not really what you want is it to be ignored, is it? You make accepting very exhausting when you see an underlying or hidden motive for everything.

datgladiatah wrote: »

It's really not up to you to understand because you aren't listening, but I did explain it in my previous post. Now you're complaining about me being hostile. I just don't get it. You ever get death threats, slurs thrown, and your entire life thrown up on a whim in federal legislature? It's something you either get or you don't. We're allowed our LGBT guilds and groups without it being needlessly questioned by straight people who are so overtly upset at us making groups around our community that they derail the entire thread over their mood. It's straight up unnecessary and you don't need to do this.

I understand now, you are being hostile to me because im straight and you see all straight people as bad. Makes perfect sense. Well, im not in THAT group of straight people. STOP STEREOTYPING ME. The first part of my first post set up for the second part of the post. The second part is more important than the first. Ill repost it here. Please read it this time around.


And then @MinarasLaure gave an answer the rest of us can understand. As a straight person i see those words as fairly harmless, though extremely childish. And even then it gets on my nerves to listen to someone attempt to use them as insult. And when use against me i usually just say something funny like " Only with you" and laugh it off.

But it does make sense now why LBGTQ players may want an environment in which they dont have to listen to that crap. I even get tired of it as a straight person. I can imagine its far worse for them. See i understand the premise of these "LBGTQ friendly" organizations in games now. I am no longer Q as in questioning.

No insults needed, no defense or justification just an explanation of the logic behind it was enough. That is all.

If you feel the need to continue to be hostile to me, that is a personal problem you need to work on. Try not treating everyone outside of LBGTQ as a threat, you will have more friends and fewer enemies and that is always a good thing.


@TheRiversEdge : my apologies for getting a bit off track. The LBGTQ online community doesnt seem to be as friendly and accepting of straight people as the real life ones ive met. I honestly expected more, but im seeing a lot of bitter LBGTQ people here and there is enough bitterness in this game with elitists. I do wish you the best of luck and hope maybe people learn to be a little more accepting and that goes for everyone regardless of your "features", preferences,opinions, etc.

TheRiversEdge

Earrindo wrote: »

I have never comprehended why people with no interest or connection to the LGBTQ+ Community feel such a need to post in threads like this.
I am hardly an SJW, nor do I have any particularly extreme viewpoints, but as a qu**r person who has played MMOs for 17 years, being a part of any minority in an MMO social environment can be incredibly frustrating.
People don't start LGBTQ+ Friendly guilds or forums to exclude the white cishet men who play MMOs. That is entirely not the point at all.
Those people don't *need* a safe space to chat and hang out. Nothing that gets said casually can touch a part of their identity and make it feel less than, or gross, or unacceptable.
Anyone in a minority group however does not have this luxury.

When folks go out of their way to create and try to maintain a space like the OP is doing, it is nothing against the straight white male gamers. It truly isn't.
It also isn't *for* you either. Join, by all means, chat, hang out, whatever. But unlike in 99% of other social settings in MMOs, when you offend someone's sense of self or identity, we don't have to just be quiet and take it. We can get rid of you to maintain our sense of safety and power.

It's great that so many gamers these days are "allies" or friendly or whatever. But I have to doubt the sincerity of your claims when you come into a thread like this, clearly not directed at you at all, and fire off projectiles at the OP. The fact that *you* are friendly doesn't mean everyone else is, so why are you making a fuss? Let us have a place to chat and hang out without ever feeling threatened.
What on earth could allowing that cost you personally? I am genuinely curious.

To the OP:
It always warms the cockles of my heart to see that the LGBTQ+ community has places to go to chat. Well done, and I wish you tons of luck!

THIS ^^^^^^^^ And that said, I am not excluding ANYONE except for bigots and creeps t b h. If you're cis/straight??? feel free to join so long as you aren't bigoted and are willing to listen to us if something makes us uncomfortable.