An Open Apology to the Cyrodiil Community

Penitent_Sorc

To all I've Rage-Telled:

I've gone by several names over the years but I know what I was saying made it quite obvious who I was and why it became so enticing. However, that doesn't excuse what I said because a lot of it was just crazy *** from being off my meds. I lashed out at everyone and it wasn't making sense anymore to even myself. At that point I knew something drastic had to take place and I need to be forced from the game. I'm not going to rehash what I said or specifically apologize to certain players because I do not want to reopen any old wounds. I do not wish any physical or mental harm upon anyone nor do I want to cause anymore headaches with the toxicity that was associated with the behavior. I know what I said was terrible, it's been said to me which is why I was such an angry, whiny little crybaby. That's no excuse and I recently had to complete a behavioral management therapy program to even be allowed to continue in my current living situation. Most of you would remember me as the unemployed stoner turbo no-lifer but somehow I'm managing to hold onto a job with a well known company for the first time in my life.

What bothers me the most is that there were some people who genuinely tried to be my friend but I pushed them away because of very real trolling that was and still is occurring in my life. I understand that the damage is done and I'm most likely going to have to walk away from Tamriel with nothing but the experience.

This apology is as much for you, the community, as it is for me. Respond however you need to, I understand the anger I caused completely.

Thanks and regards,

Piwi

Publius_Scipio

I accept your apology

geonsocal

each and every day we have the opportunity to be better than the day before...

keep moving forward...

my father spent the last several years of his life bed ridden...while it was tough to witness - it was also wonderful watching him come to terms with the person he had been (not such a wonderful individual), accept responsibility for his life, and to see him mature, even at age 70...i was very proud of him for being able make those changes...

it's never too late to be a better you...

Kram8ion

There's plenty more fish in the sea who will accept you for who you are

GeorgeBlack

I don't know which names you were behind from.
You seem to have identified your weak and miserable part of yourself, and you want to cast out this creature. That's brave. Forgive yourself first and others might follow.

Be the strongest person you've seen inside you. Be kind to the people that you come across.
Fear nothing and don't despair anymore.
You will become a gift to the world.

Leandor

It takes guts to go ahead and admit failure and take responsibility. Kudos to you.

Aelakhaii_De_Mythos

GeorgeBlack wrote: »

I don't know which names you were behind from.
You seem to have identified your weak and miserable part of yourself, and you want to cast out this creature. That's brave. Forgive yourself first and others might follow.

Be the strongest person you've seen inside you. Be kind to the people that you come across.
Fear nothing and don't despair anymore.
You will become a gift to the world.

If you're kind to people they'll take advantage of you in 99% of the cases.

Be brutal when needed and kind when you can take advantage of someone. Why spend your own money when you can spend someone elses.

Signed Nicolo Machiavelli.





Nah, but good advice. Just don't go around being to nice and smiling all the time.

Hawco10

What’s the most important part of your post you think ? For me it’s you holding on to a job for the first time in your life. That’s reality, that pays bills, that gives you choices and confidence.
The rest is all about some bubble, a game, a meaningless game. Focus on reality, focus on what is real my friend.
Good luck.

Penitent_Sorc

Thank you everyone.

To say that they were minor demons is an understatement. My biggest issue was admitting when I was wrong and I had to take a step back and realize that this time, I was in fact the ***.

Happy Adventuring!

Goshua

It's an MMO, we're all only here for your additional entertainment anyway or you'd be playing a SP game.
Chin up..

Prince_of_all_Pugs

First eso non toxic experience.

Alite

So how's your brother doing?

Vizier

Well said. Good luck with wherever you end up. I'm honestly not familiar with your case but I am heartened to see you as a person take these steps. I wish you the best bud.

Knootewoot

It's a game (or internet) where it is very easy to say things you don't mean without any consequences.

I don't know you, but I'm sure you didn't mean it what you said.

Happy adventuring and don't dwell to much on the past.

Penitent_Sorc

I tried killing myself lastnight. You people are aweful.

tinythinker

Penitent_Sorc wrote: »

I tried killing myself lastnight. You people are aweful.

Keep yourself safe

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

ZOS_GregoryV

Greetings,

This thread has been locked to avoid any possibly baiting, flaming, and trolling. @Penitent_Sorc we will be reaching out to you momentarily.

Thank you for your understanding,
-Greg-