The Children of the Void #Rebuilding

bryanhaas

King Arthur: I am your king.
Peasant Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Peasant Woman: Well, how'd you become king, then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
Dennis the Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis the Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up
Dennis the Peasant: I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: [grabs Dennis] Shut up! Will you shut up?!
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: [shakes Dennis] Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Arthur: Bloody Peasant!
Dennis: Ooh, what a giveaway!

239 now

bryanhaas

Lost our bid this week I will make sure we win it next week.
We do have about 239 members so we can still trade between ourselves until next week.

bryanhaas

Bedevere: How do you know she is a witch?
Peasant: She looks like one.
[Crowd indistinctly shouts]
Bedevere: Bring her forward!
Girl: I'm not a witch.
Bedevere: But you are dressed as one...
Girl: They dressed me up like this. [Crowd murmurs]
Girl: And this isn't my nose. This is a false one.
Bedevere: [inspects the nose and confirms] Well?
Peasant: Well, we did do the nose.
Bedevere: The nose?
Peasant: And the hat. She's a witch!
Peasant Crowd: Burn her!
Bedevere: Did you dress her up like this?
Peasant Crowd: No, no, no! [beat] Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart.
Bedevere: What makes you think she is a witch?
Peasant: Oh, she turned me into a newt!
[Bedevere gives him a disbelieving look]
Bedevere: A newt?
[Silence]
Peasant: Well, I got better.
Peasant Crowd: Burn her anyway!

I make 400k per week anyone who joins I shall share my trading wisdom with you.

bryanhaas

Frenchman: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! [makes taunting gestures at them]
Sir Galahad: What a strange person.
King Arthur: Now, look here, my good man--
Frenchman: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
Frenchman: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

242 members now.

xFLADNAGx

Filthy Kn ig it

xFLADNAGx

There are some who call me....Tim.

bryanhaas

NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Galahad

[boom crash]
[angels singing]

[pound pound pound]
GALAHAD: Open the door!
Open the door!
[pound pound pound]
In the name of King Arthur, open the door!
[squeak thump]
[squeak boom]
ALL: Hello!
ZOOT: Welcome gentle Sir knight, welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
GALAHAD: The Castle Anthrax?
ZOOT: Yes... oh, it's not a very good name? Oh! but we are
nice and we shall attend to your every, every need!
GALAHAD: You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?
ZOOT: The what?
GALAHAD: The Grail -- it is here?
ZOOT: Oh, but you are tired, and you must rest awhile. Midget!
Crepper!
MIDGET and CREPPER: Yes, oh Zoot!
ZOOT: Prepare a bed for our guest.
MIDGET and CREPPER: Oh thank you thank you thank you--
ZOOT: Away away vile temptress! The beds here are warm and soft -- and
very, very big.
GALAHAD: Well, look, I-I-uh--
ZOOT: What is your name, handsome knight?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad... the Chaste.
ZOOT: Mine is Zoot... just Zoot. Oh, but come!
GALAHAD: Look, please! In God's name, show me the Grail!
ZOOT: Oh, you have suffered much! You are delirious!
GALAHAD: L-look, I have seen it! It is here, in the--
ZOOT: Sir Galahad! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our
hospitality.
GALAHAD: Well, I-I-uh--
ZOOT: Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared
to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between
sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to
protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing,
making exciting underwear.... We are just not used to handsome knights.
Nay, nay, come, come, you may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded!
GALAHAD: No, no -- i-it's nothing!
ZOOT: Oh, but you must see the doctors immediately! No, no, please,
lie down.
[clap clap]
PIGLET: Ah. What seems to be the trouble?
GALAHAD: They're doctors?!
ZOOT: Uh, they've had a basic medical training, yes.
GALAHAD: B-but--
ZOOT: Oh, come come, you must try to rest! Doctor Piglet, Doctor
Winston, practice your art.
PIGLET: Try to relax.
GALAHAD: Are you sure that's necessary?
PIGLET: We must examine you.
GALAHAD: There's nothing wrong with that!
PIGLET: Please -- we are doctors.
GALAHAD: Get off the bed! I am sworn to chastity!
PIGLET: Back to your bed!
GALAHAD: Torment me no longer! I have seen the Grail!
PIGLET: There's no grail here.
GALAHAD: I have seen it, I have seen it. I have seen--
GIRLS: Hello.
GALAHAD: Oh--
VARIOUS GIRLS: Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
GALAHAD: Zoot!
DINGO: No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.
GALAHAD: Oh, well, excuse me, I--
DINGO: Where are you going?
GALAHAD: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
DINGO: No! Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!
GALAHAD: What is it?
DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting alight
to our beacon, which, I just remembered, is grail-shaped. It's not the
first time we've had this problem.
GALAHAD: It's not the real Grail?
DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty
person, and she must pay the penalty -- and here in Castle Anthrax, we
have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You
must tie her down on a bed and spank her!
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO: You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you
may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me.
VARIOUS GIRLS: And spank me.
And me.
And me.
DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
GIRLS: Oral sex! Oral sex!
GALAHAD: Well, I could stay a BIT longer.
LAUNCELOT: Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD: Oh, hello.
LAUNCELOT: Quick!
GALAHAD: What?
LAUNCELOT: Quick!
GALAHAD: Why?
LAUNCELOT: You're in great peril!
LAUNCELOT: Silence, foul temptress!
GALAHAD: Now look, it's not important.
LAUNCELOT: Quick! Come on and we'll cover your escape!
GALAHAD: Look, I'm fine!
LAUNCELOT: Come on!
GALAHAD: Now look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
DINGO: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
GIRLS: Yes! Tackle us single-handed!
LAUNCELOT: No, Sir Galahad, come on!
GALAHAD: No, really, honestly, I can go back and handle this lot easily!
DINGO: Oh, yes, he can handle us easily.
GIRLS: Yes, yes!
GALAHAD: Wait! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred and fifty
of them!
DINGO: Yes, yes, he'll beat us easily, we haven't a chance.
GIRLS: Yes, yes.
[boom]
DINGO: Oh, ***.
[outside]
LAUNCELOT: We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril.
GALAHAD: I don't think I was.
LAUNCELOT: Yes you were, you were in terrible peril.
GALAHAD: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
LAUNCELOT: No, it's too perilous.
GALAHAD: Look, I'm a knight, I'm supposed to get as much peril as I can.
LAUNCELOT: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
GALAHAD: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?
LAUNCELOT: No, it's unhealthy.
GALAHAD: Bet you're gay!
LAUNCELOT: No, I'm not.

Narrative Interlude 2


NARRATOR: Sir Launcelot had saved Sir Galahad from almost certain
temptation, but they were still no nearer the Grail. Meanwhile,
King Arthur and Sir Bedemir, not more than a swallow's flight away,
had discovered something. Oh, that's an unladen swallow's flight,
obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallow's flights
away -- four, really, if they hadn't a cord of line between them.
I mean, if the birds were walking and dragging--
CROWD: Get on with it!
NARRATOR: Oh, anyway, on to scene twenty-four, which is a smashing
scene with some lovely acting, in which Arthur discovers a vital clue,
in which there aren't any swallows, although I think you can hear a
starling -oolp!

250 members now

bryanhaas

We are now back in Windhelm, shenanigans to resume shortly.

bryanhaas

OLD MAN: Ah, hee he he ha!
ARTHUR: And this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the grail?
OLD MAN: Ha ha he he he he!
ARTHUR: Where does he live? Old man, where does he live?
OLD MAN: He knows of a cave, a cave which no man has entered.
ARTHUR: And the Grail... The Grail is there?
OLD MAN: Very much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge
of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.
ARTHUR: But the Grail! Where is the Grail!?
OLD MAN: Seek you the Bridge of Death.
ARTHUR: The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Grail?
OLD MAN: Hee hee ha ha!

Only 2,000 gold required to trade.

fbmattibbotteb17_ESO

PSN: ASTARTRADER

bryanhaas

fbmattibbotteb17_ESO wrote: »

PSN: ASTARTRADER

Invite sent.

bryanhaas

HEAD KNIGHT: Nee!
Nee!
Nee!
Nee!
ARTHUR: Who are you?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say... Nee!
ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: The same!
BEDEMIR: Who are they?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Nee, Pen, and
Nee-wom!
RANDOM: Nee-wom!
ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say Nee demand a sacrifice!
ARTHUR: Knights of Nee, we are but simple travellers who seek the
enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'nee' again to you if you do not appease us.
ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?
HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: A what?
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We shall find a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will
never pass through this wood alive!
ARTHUR: O Knights of Nee, you are just and fair, and we will return
with a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.
ARTHUR: Of course.
HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.
ARTHUR: Yes.
HEAD KNIGHTS: Now... go!

276 Members and a trader in Windhelm.

bryanhaas

We have a trader in Craglorn, rent is 2k currently.

bryanhaas

NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Launcelot.

FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
ERBERT: What, the curtains?
FATHER: No, not the curtains, lad. All that you can see! Stretched
out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom,
lad!
HERBERT: But, Mother--
FATHER: Father, I'm Father.
HERBERT: But Father, I don't want any of that.
FATHER: Listen, lad. I've built this kingdom up from nothing. When
I started here, all there was was swamp. All the kings said I was
daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same,
just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one.
That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down,
fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up.
An' that's what your gonna get, lad -- the strongest castle in these
islands.
HERBERT: But I don't want any of that -- I'd rather--
FATHER: Rather what?!
HERBERT: I'd rather... just...
[music]
...sing!
FATHER: Stop that, stop that! You're not going to do a song while
I'm here. Now listen lad, in twenty minutes you're getting married to
a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
HERBERT: But I don't want land.
FATHER: Listen, Alex,--
HERBERT: Herbert.
FATHER: Herbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we
can get.
HERBERT: But I don't like her.
FATHER: Don't like her?! What's wrong with her? She's beautiful,
she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land.
HERBERT: I know, but I want the girl that I marry to have...
a certain... special...
[music]
...something...
FATHER: Cut that out, cut that out. Look, you're marryin' Princess
Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea. [smack] Guards! Make sure
the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get 'im.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get 'im.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
FATHER: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure 'e doesn't
leave.
GUARD #1: And you'll come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him
entering the room.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room, yes.
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right. Oh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if we...
FATHER: Yes, what is it?
GUARD #1: Oh, if-if, oh--
FATHER: Look, it's quite simple.
GUARD #1: Uh...
FATHER: You just stay here, and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room.
All right?
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER: N- No no no. You just keep him in here, and make sure--
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, we'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had
to leave and we were--
FATHER: No, no, just keep him in here--
GUARD #1: Until you, or anyone else,--
FATHER: No, not anyone else, just me--
GUARD #1: Just you.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
FATHER: Right?
GUARD #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: What?
FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes, make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y'know, it
seemed a bit daft, me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
FATHER: Right.
[starts to leave]
Where are you going?
GUARD #1: We're coming with you.
FATHER: No no, I want you to stay 'ere and make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
HERBERT: But, Father!
FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on! And no singing!
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Oh, go get a glass of water.

305 members now trader in Craglorn.

bryanhaas

LAUNCELOT: Well taken, Concorde!
CONCORDE: Thank you, sir! Most kind.
LAUNCELOT: And again... Over we go! Good. Steady! And now, the big
one...Ooof! Come on, Concorde!
[thwonk]
CONCORDE: Message for you, sir.
[fwump]
LAUNCELOT: Concorde! Concorde, speak to me! "To whoever finds this
note, I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to marry
against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am
in the tall tower of Swamp Castle." At last! A call, a cry of
distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy Grail!
Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.
CONCORDE: Actually, I think I'm all right to come with you--
LAUNCELOT: No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help as
soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own
particular... (sigh)
CONCORDE: Idiom, sir?
LAUNCELOT: Idiom!
CONCORDE: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Farewell, sweet Concorde!
CONCORDE: I'll-uh, I'll just stay here, then, shall I, sir? Yeah.

Have a trader in Craglorn where will we be in the morning?

bryanhaas

In Vulkel Guard Outlaw Refuge this week.

Seepuh

Great guild leader

bryanhaas

Seepuh wrote: »

Great guild leader

Why thank you Seepuh, you are a great gm as well.
https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/180229/80-spots-afk-na-no-recurring-fee-trade-guild#latest

meno460

Psn De_460
Vet 5
Daily player

sunskater

PSN: Sunskater

Hi...I'm an active player seeking an invite. Thank you in advance.

Best, it.

bryanhaas

sunskater wrote: »

PSN: Sunskater

Hi...I'm an active player seeking an invite. Thank you in advance.

Best, it.

Invite sent.

bryanhaas

STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.

What is your name?
What is your favorite color?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen african swallow carrying half an empty coconut shell?

bryanhaas

bryanhaas wrote: »

STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.

What is your name?
What is your favorite color?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen african swallow carrying half an empty coconut shell?

The answer is the question and the question is the answer. The answer is the question of the question, once you know that question you will know the answer, which is a question.

bryanhaas

Got our trader in Vulkel guard.

Gulkrim-mur

bryanhaas wrote: »

Trader in Vulkel guard outlaw refuge this week.
5,000 gold required to trade, members who remain at 4+ weeks paid have access to free crafting services (with your mats) 9 trait light, heavy armor, woodworking and Psijic Ambrosia.

Guild bank open to proven members.

We also have some master crafter's in all of the professions.

We are part of an alliance with The Lords of Twilight:
http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/207687/the-lords-of-twilight-a-d-ww-vamp-we-have-a-trader-w-facebook-group-and-psn-community/p1

https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/180229/80-spots-afk-na-no-recurring-fee-trade-guild#latest

The 5k gold is a weekly price rea right?

bryanhaas

DrInsanity666 wrote: »

bryanhaas wrote: »

Trader in Vulkel guard outlaw refuge this week.
5,000 gold required to trade, members who remain at 4+ weeks paid have access to free crafting services (with your mats) 9 trait light, heavy armor, woodworking and Psijic Ambrosia.

Guild bank open to proven members.

We also have some master crafter's in all of the professions.

We are part of an alliance with The Lords of Twilight:
http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/207687/the-lords-of-twilight-a-d-ww-vamp-we-have-a-trader-w-facebook-group-and-psn-community/p1

https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/180229/80-spots-afk-na-no-recurring-fee-trade-guild#latest

The 5k gold is a weekly price rea right?

Yes. Once a month I will be going to a higher traffic area.

bryanhaas

DrInsanity666 wrote: »

bryanhaas wrote: »

Trader in Vulkel guard outlaw refuge this week.
5,000 gold required to trade, members who remain at 4+ weeks paid have access to free crafting services (with your mats) 9 trait light, heavy armor, woodworking and Psijic Ambrosia.

Guild bank open to proven members.

We also have some master crafter's in all of the professions.

We are part of an alliance with The Lords of Twilight:
http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/207687/the-lords-of-twilight-a-d-ww-vamp-we-have-a-trader-w-facebook-group-and-psn-community/p1

https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/180229/80-spots-afk-na-no-recurring-fee-trade-guild#latest

The 5k gold is a weekly price rea right?

Invite sent last night.

bryanhaas

LAUNCELOT: Ha-ha! etc.
GUARD #1: Now, you're not allowed to come in here, and we're-ugh!
LAUNCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant Sir Launcelot
of Camelot. I have come to take -- oh, I'm terribly sorry.
HERBERT: You got my note!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, I got A note.
HERBERT: You've come to rescue me!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, no, you see...
HERBERT: I knew that someone would, I knew that somewhere out there...
there must be...
[music]
...someone...
FATHER: Stop that, stop that, stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
HERBERT: I'm your son!
FATHER: No, not you.
LAUNCELOT: I'm Sir Launcelot, sir.
HERBERT: He's come to rescue me, father.
LAUNCELOT: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
FATHER: Did you kill all the guard?
LAUNCELOT: Uh..., oh, yes. Sorry.
FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each.
LAUNCELOT: Well, I'm awfully sorry, I'm -- I really can explain everything.
HERBERT: Don't be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot, I've got a rope all ready!
FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.
FATHER: I can understand that.
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Hurry!
FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I really didn't mean to...
FATHER: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!
LAUNCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?
FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost
me a fortune!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north
from Camelot, when I got this note, you see--
FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.
FATHER: Pretty nice castle, Camelot. Uh, pretty good pig country....
LAUNCELOT: Yes.
HERBERT: Hurry, I'm ready!
FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?
LAUNCELOT: Well, that's, uh, awfully nice of you.
HERBERT: I am ready!
[starts to leave]
LAUNCELOT: --I mean to be, so understanding.
[thonk]
HERBERT: Oooh!
LAUNCELOT: Um, I think when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit,
uh, sort of carried away.
FATHER: Oh, don't worry about that.
HERBERT: Oooh!
[splat]

272 Members

Clint09

I am looking for someone to help with increasing my Enchanting skill line. I have a lot of crafting material but need someone else with a lot to craft and trade and then extract if anyone is interested.

bryanhaas

Clint09 wrote: »

I am looking for someone to help with increasing my Enchanting skill line. I have a lot of crafting material but need someone else with a lot to craft and trade and then extract if anyone is interested.

Did you try joining the PSN community yet? Try that and maybe contact Chazataur he may have some alts to level.