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Just for fun. Popular songs, ESO style.

  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "My lovely horse" / " My matriarch" - dedicated to Irish players if there any :)
    -

    My matriarch, running through the field
    Where are you going, with your big wings flapping in the air?

    I want to upragde you with a skillpoint, and use you on mobs
    Polish your claws every single day, and bring you to the pet dentist

    My matriarch, you're useless no more
    Running around with a mob at your back, like a train in the night...


    For those unfamiliar with Father ted:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg
    Edited by Squishy on May 25, 2014 10:22AM
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Rosa Helikopter" / " a corrupted texture"

    It's a corrupted texture
    am I gona have to log?
    a corrupted texture
    yes, then I will log off so it goes away
    a corrupted texture
    log so it goes away
    a corrupted texture
    yes, then I'm loggin away to get to see all ok

    laying awake in my bed in the middle of the night and playing with you
    i felt that my heals let me down
    playing alone in my room only grouping and kitting with you
    Ohh I know what i want
    I want up to the craglorn one more time

    It's a corrupted texture
    am I gona have to log?
    a corrupted texture
    yes, then I will log off so it goes away
    a corrupted texture
    log so it goes away
    a corrupted texture
    yes, then I'm loggin away to get to see all ok

    getting ready to take aggro, just as good when im heading this way
    because i only wanted to see if you already were there
    when we kitted the world boss, yes, then you nuked and healed for me
    Ohh I know what i want
    I want up to the craglorn one more time

    It's a corrupted texture
    am I gona have to log?
    a corrupted texture
    yes, then I will log off so it goes away
    a corrupted texture
    log so it goes away
    a corrupted texture
    yes, then I'm loggin away to get to see all ok

    It's a corrupted texture
    am I gona have to log?
    travel to you
    to you
    to you

    It's a corrupted texture
    am I gona have to log?
    travel to you
    to you


    Im hoping the english translation fits the song :) if not, well someone translates it back to swedish :D
    Edited by Squishy on May 25, 2014 10:23AM
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Scotty Doesn't Know" / "Zeni doesn't know" - in case there are any doubts, it's not advertising or supporting exploiting :)

    Hey!!!!!!

    Zeni doesn't know,
    That Molag and me,
    Fall off the map every Sundas.

    He tells them I'm oped,
    But he doesn't know,
    Still hes on his knees, and...

    Zeni doesn't know, oh.
    Zeni doesn't know-oh.
    So don't tell Zeni!
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know.
    SO DON'T TELL ZENI!

    Squishy says she's out Kitting,
    But she's under the map she's not stopping.

    Cause Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know.
    So don't tell Zeni.
    Zeni doesn't knoooooow....
    DON'T TELL ZENI!

    I can't believe the client's trusting,
    While I'm right behind you kitting.

    Squishy's got them on the phone,
    and she's trying not to 'sploit.
    It's a three way call,
    and they knows nothing.
    NOTHING!!!

    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Don't tell Zeni.
    Cause Zenidoesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't knoooooow....
    SO DON'T TELL ZENI!

    We'll put on a show, everyone will go.
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't knoooooow....

    The kitting plot, why not?
    It's so cool when under the map.
    Their server, is trusting.
    Laughing so hard, cuz...

    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know.

    I soloed him without sweating.

    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Zeni doesn't know,
    Don't tell Zeni.
    Zeni doesn't knoooooow....

    Zeni will know,
    Zeni has to know,
    Zeni's gotta know,
    Gonna tell Zeni,
    Gonna tell them myself.

    Zeni has to know,
    Zeni has to know,
    Zeni has to,
    Zeni has to,
    Zeni can not go!

    Zeni doesn't know,
    (Don't tell Zeni )
    Zeni doesn't know,
    (Don't tell Zeni )
    Zeni doesn't know...
    Zeni can't go!
    Edited by Squishy on May 25, 2014 10:23AM
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "The Bad Touch" / "The Farm Spot"

    Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of farming
    But there are several other very important differences
    Between argonians and animals that you should know about

    I'd appreciate your input

    Kite baby kite baby give this mob a CC
    Me and you do the kind of stuff that angryjoe would yell about
    So put your hands down my bags and I'll bet you'll feel runes
    Yes I'm Squishy, yes I'm castin' and you're getting two heals up
    You've had enough of two-hand swords you want it rough you're out of health
    I want you nerfed want you kitting like your life depends on it
    Run quicker than 'sploiters never reach an apex just like skooma stock you are inclined
    To make me log an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

    Do it now
    You and me baby do nothin' but farming
    So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
    Do it again now
    You and me baby do nothin' but farming
    So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
    Gettin' wealthy now

    Love the kind you mop up in one shot and loot
    Like the lost catacombs of Stros'mkai only God knows where we stuck it
    Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
    But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"
    So if I cast on your targeted B5, B-5 I sunk its battleship
    Please heal me up I'm Miss Squishy with no automatic trick
    So show me yours I'll show you mine "Farm Time" you'll Love it just like that
    And then we'll farm it kittin' style so we can both watch "X-Files"

    Do it now
    You and me baby do nothin' but farming
    So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
    Do it again now
    You and me baby do nothin' but farming
    So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
    Gettin' wealthy now

    You and me baby do nothin' but farming
    So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
    Do it again now
    You and me baby do nothin' but farming
    So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
    Do it again now
    You and me baby do nothin' but farming
    So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
    Do it again now
    You and me baby do nothin' but farming
    So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
    Do it again now

    original video for those that never heard this song:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k&feature=kp
    Edited by Squishy on May 25, 2014 2:00PM
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Ice Ice Baby" / "Cast Cast baby"
    Yo, VIP, Let's nuke it!

    Cast Cast Baby, Cast Cast Baby
    All right CD, regroup and heal
    Cast is back with my brand new skill morphing
    Something has just CC'ed me tightly
    Sneak like a nightblade daily and nightly
    Will it ever stop? Yo – I don't know
    Turn on magelights and I'll glow
    To the extreme I bash my shield like a vandal
    Cast up a ball and wave a staff like a newbie.

    Bash, Go rush the target that glows
    I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
    Deadly, when I play a sorc CC
    Anything less than the best is a felony
    Love it or leave it, You better gain way
    You better hit bull's eye, The squishy don't play
    If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
    Check out the batswarm I just cast it

    Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma
    Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma

    Now that the party is kitting
    While the heal kicks in, and the healer are castin'
    Quick to the point, to the point, no dying
    Runnin' around like a zerg's after you
    Burning them they ain't quick and nimble
    I go crazy when I hear a crystal
    And a hi vet with a morphed inferno
    I'm on a roll but not time to go solo
    Rollin' in my 5.0
    With my armor fixed and my eyes that glows
    The maids on standby, Waving just to say, "Hi!"
    Did you stop? No – I just kitted by
    Kept on pursuing to the next mob
    I busted a left and I'm heading to the next zone
    That zone was dead

    Yo – so I continued to stros'mkai Beachfront Ave.
    Girls were hot wearing starters bikinis
    Rockman lovers driving the white horsie
    Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
    Shay with an axe and Squishy with a staff
    Ready for the mobs on the wall
    The mobs acting ill because they're so full of "Eight Ball"
    Crystal spammed out like a bell
    I grabbed my staff– All I heard were shells
    Falling on the sandbeach real fast
    Jumped on my horse, slapped on the ass (sorry, had to rhym :) )
    Tailheads to tailheads, the avenue's packed
    I'm trying to get away before the spammer spam
    Gm's on the scene, You know what I mean
    They passed me up, confronted all the bot fiends
    If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
    Check out the ban while the GM hammers it

    Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma
    Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma

    Take heed, 'cause I'm a scally poet
    Zeni's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
    My town, that created all the ban sound
    Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
    'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
    Fast and strong casts that you can vision and feel
    Conducted and formed, This is a hell of a concept
    We make it OP and you get CCed by it
    Shay plays on the fade, slice like a nord
    Cut like a razor blade so fast, Other DKs say, "damn"
    If my cast was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram
    Keep my composure when it's time to get grouped
    Magnetized by the mob while I kick my hot
    If there was a problem, Yo – I'll solve it!
    Check out the ban while the GM hammers it

    Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma
    Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma

    Yo, mer, let's get out of here! Word to egg-mother!

    Cast Cast Baby Two HOTs, Cast Cast Baby Two hots Two HOTs
    Cast Cast Baby Two HOTs Two HOTs, Cast Cast Baby Two HOTs Two HOTs
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Gangsta's Paradise" / " WormCult Paradise"

    As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
    I take a look at my zone and realize there's nothin' black
    Cause I've been casting and lev'ling so long,
    That even my guild thinks that my mind is gone
    But I ain't never crossed a mob that didn't deserve it
    Me be treated like a noob you know that's unheard of
    You better watch how you're talking and where you're botting
    Or you and your botties might be reported ingame
    I really hate to move but I gotta go
    As they sneak, I see myself in the mist form' smoke, fool
    I'm the kinda G the little newbies wanna be like
    On my knees in the shrines saying prayers in the streetlight

    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise

    Look at the situation they got me facin'
    I can't be a normal one, I was raised by argonians
    So I gotta be down with the egg team
    Too much prohet's visions watching got me chasing souls
    I'm an educated fool with money on my mind
    Got my staff in my hand and a glow on my eyes
    I'm a castin' argonian set grindin' banger
    And my party is down so don't arouse my anger, fool
    Death ain't nothing but a wayshrine away,
    I'm living life, do or die, what can I say
    I'm R10 now, but will I live to see R11
    The way things are going I don't know

    Tell me why are we so blind to see
    That the ones we hurt are you and me

    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise

    Power and the money, money and the power
    Minute after minute, hour after hour
    Cultist's running, but half of them ain't looking
    What's going on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin'
    They say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to immo me
    If they can't understand it, how can they reach me
    I guess they can't, I guess they won't
    I guess they front, that's why I know they're out of magicka, fool

    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
    Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise

    Tell me why are we so blind to see
    That the one's we hurt are you and me
    Tell me why are we so blind to see
    That the one's we hurt are you and me
    [Fade out]
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • isengrimb16_ESO
    isengrimb16_ESO
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Ok, I have alcohol, and I'm wanting to write a love song to Sheogorath to the tune of Yazoo's "Only You". Too bad I'm about as creative as a wood tick.

    Edit - Werewolf style - ROFLMAO, ROFLASTC, etc.

    Edit edit - Together in electric dreams, gads, haven't heard that in a raccoon's age.

    Edit edit edit - maybe Only You isn't the right song to start off with, not much to go on there. Still want to write a tribute to Uncle Sheo, though.
    Edited by isengrimb16_ESO on May 26, 2014 7:33PM
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Only You" Yazoo / "Only you"

    @isengrimb16_ESO , hope this is good enough, I'm not familiar with the song or the singer... :)

    Madness is a window above
    It's like a story of love
    Can you hear sheo?
    Became mad yesterday
    I'm falling farther away
    Want you near me

    All needed is the madness you gave
    All I needed for another play
    And all I ever want
    Only you

    Sometimes when I think of your name
    When it's only a game
    And I need sheo
    Listen to the words that you say
    It's getting harder to think
    When I see you

    All needed is the madness you gave
    All I needed for another play
    And all I ever want
    Only you
    All needed is the madness you gave
    All I needed for another play
    And all I ever want
    Only you

    This aint going to take a long time
    And where was my mind
    Can't think no more (can't think no more)
    Wonder if you'll understand
    It's just the taste of your cheese
    Behind a Greymarch

    All needed is the madness you gave
    All I needed for another play
    And all I ever want
    Only you

    "only you" - the platters / "only sheo"

    Only sheo
    can make this realm seem right
    Only seho
    can make the madness bright
    Only sheo and demantia
    can thrill me like you do
    and fill my mind with cheese from only you

    Only sheo
    can make this change in me
    For it's true
    you are my destiny
    When you hold my nose, I understand
    the magic that you do
    You're my dream come true
    my one and only prince, only you

    Only sheo and demantia
    can thrill me like you do
    and fill my mind with cheese from only you

    Only sheo
    can make this change in me
    For it's true
    you are my destiny
    When you hold my nose, i understand
    the magic that you do do
    You're my dream come true
    my one my one my one and dementia
    Edited by Squishy on May 26, 2014 7:48PM
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • isengrimb16_ESO
    isengrimb16_ESO
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    And I still want that Got Cheese shirt, even if I have to pay $50-75 bucks for a single printing of it. If I have to buy in bulk, too bad, they're all MINE, and I can't be priced on things I like.


    Edited by isengrimb16_ESO on May 26, 2014 8:56PM
  • isengrimb16_ESO
    isengrimb16_ESO
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Squishy wrote: »
    "Only You" Yazoo / "Only you"

    @isengrimb16_ESO , hope this is good enough, I'm not familiar with the song or the singer... :)

    Madness is a window above
    It's like a story of love
    Can you hear sheo?
    Became mad yesterday
    I'm falling farther away
    Want you near me

    All needed is the madness you gave
    All I needed for another play
    And all I ever want
    Only you

    Sometimes when I think of your name
    When it's only a game
    And I need sheo
    Listen to the words that you say
    It's getting harder to think
    When I see you

    All needed is the madness you gave
    All I needed for another play
    And all I ever want
    Only you
    All needed is the madness you gave
    All I needed for another play
    And all I ever want
    Only you

    This aint going to take a long time
    And where was my mind
    Can't think no more (can't think no more)
    Wonder if you'll understand
    It's just the taste of your cheese
    Behind a Greymarch

    All needed is the madness you gave
    All I needed for another play
    And all I ever want
    Only you

    "only you" - the platters / "only sheo"

    Only sheo
    can make this realm seem right
    Only seho
    can make the madness bright
    Only sheo and demantia
    can thrill me like you do
    and fill my mind with cheese from only you

    Only sheo
    can make this change in me
    For it's true
    you are my destiny
    When you hold my nose, I understand
    the magic that you do
    You're my dream come true
    my one and only prince, only you

    Only sheo and demantia
    can thrill me like you do
    and fill my mind with cheese from only you

    Only sheo
    can make this change in me
    For it's true
    you are my destiny
    When you hold my nose, i understand
    the magic that you do do
    You're my dream come true
    my one my one my one and dementia

    My reply to this seems to have gotten lost. Bottom line is, I lay down my bow at your feet for your brilliance. It fits.

    The Platters one, not so much, but it's funnier than hell, and I enjoyed it.

    Kudos!

    Now um, Mr Vile, since you beat me to Sheo, and I can't hope to beat that one.

    Hmm. (Looking into Tom Smith archives for something to plunder).

    Damn, he did such a good job with Hellraiser, I'm tempted to pay him his $350 to write a Clavicus Vile song. And another $350 for his own Sheo song. But I don't have that kind of money to spare (glum).
    Edited by isengrimb16_ESO on May 26, 2014 9:04PM
  • swnmcmlxi
    swnmcmlxi
    Soul Shriven
    A very funny thread. I offer this ESOfication of Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb as a tribute:
    (Player 1) Hello, is there anybody in there?
    Just whisper if you hear me, 'cause I sure would like a friend.
    Hell, guys, I mean this is a public dungeon
    There are nasty things down there, I don't want to die again!
    You there! You! Just give some information, dude,
    Just your basic stats, if we solo it will hurt!

    (Player 2) I dish out pain, I'm DPS-in'
    I kick mob asses to the horizon.
    Let them come and come again in waves,
    I don't care, I'll just dish out some more damage.
    Some levels ago, well, things were different.
    Before the respec, this boss just owned me.
    I don't like that feeling – AOE –
    Never again, perhaps you understand,
    Am I gonna be so duped.
    I want to be comfortably grouped.

    (Player 1) Well now, things are starting to look up here,
    I'll just press F – there – and you can just accept.
    But hell, man, there's this thing, you know, 'bout healing.
    I'm low on potions now – do you think we can pull through?

    (Player 3) You'll feel no pain when I'm a-healing.
    I'll heal you from here up to the horizon.
    You will feel my spells like golden waves.
    You will not fall, no, not while I'm still standing.
    (Player 1) Oh, this is so great – we are a party now!
    Let's party our way all through this cave!
    I already see the first mob – over there
    To the right – let's take them out!
    My courage has recouped
    For I have become comfortably grouped.
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    Now um, Mr Vile, since you beat me to Sheo, and I can't hope to beat that one.

    Hmm. (Looking into Tom Smith archives for something to plunder).

    Damn, he did such a good job with Hellraiser, I'm tempted to pay him his $350 to write a Clavicus Vile song. And another $350 for his own Sheo song. But I don't have that kind of money to spare (glum).

    Mr Vile? Tom Smith? *scratches head* :confused:
    Edited by Squishy on May 27, 2014 7:42AM
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Wild Wild West" / " One One Two"
    (feat. Dru Hill, Kool Moe Dee)
    [Will Smith:]
    One One TWO, Group UP, it is craglorn, rough patcher
    No you don't wana solo
    None of this, sword in this, no bot runnin this,
    Dominion soldier, look it's like I told ya
    Any damsel that's in distress
    Be out of that dress when she meet Razum-dar
    Rough neck so go check the nodes and gather
    Watch your bag with flax and get a pot in your bag
    Swallow your pride, don't let your lip react,
    You don't wanna see my cast where my mouse be at,
    With all of this, from the start of this,
    Runnin the game, Razum-dar tamin the zone so remember the name
    Now who ya gonna call?

    [Dru Hill:]
    Not the G.M.'s

    [Will Smith:]
    Now who you gonna call?

    [Dru Hill:]
    (G double E G) *squishy's note: no clue there*

    [Will Smith:]
    If you have a riff with people wanna bust,
    Break out before you get zergrushed at the (One One TWO)
    When I log into the (One One Two)
    When I stroll into the (One One Two)
    When I bounce into the (One One Two) MMO, MMO

    [Sisqo:]
    We patchin' straight to the One One Two
    We patchin' straight to the One One Two

    [Will Smith:]
    Now, now, now, now once upon a time in the game
    Mad man lost his damn mind in the game
    Madness, givin' round cheeses, nothin' less
    Now I must put his mind to the test (can you feel me)
    Then through the shadows, in the saddle, ready for battle
    Bring all your adds in, here come the boss
    Behind my back, all the riffin' ya did,
    Front and center, now where your lip at kid?
    Who dat is? A mean elite , bad for your health
    Lookin damn good though, if I could say it myself
    Told me sheo is a mad man, but I don't fear that
    Got mad weapons too, ain't tryin to hear that
    Tryin to bring down me, this champion
    When y'all clowns gon' see that it can be done
    Understand me son, I'm the kittest they is,
    I'm the quickest as they is, did I say I'm the kittest they is
    So if you barking up the zone chat we comin, don't be startin nothin
    Me and my partner gonna test DPS, Madness
    Can't stand the heat then get out the One One Two

    [Dru Hill:]
    We going straight to (when I patch into the) the One One Two (when I stroll into the)
    We going straight to (when I bounce into the) the One One Two
    We going straight to the One One Two
    We going straight to the One One Two

    [Dru Hill:]
    [Freestyling]
    To any 'sploiters tryin to cheat, thinkin you're bad,
    Any draw on Raz best with a pen and a pad,
    Don't even think about it, six hots, healin a ton,
    10 paces and turn, just for fun, son,
    Up till sundown, zergin around,
    See where the bad guys are to be found and make 'em lay down,
    The defenders of the zone,
    Crushin on pretenders in the zone,
    Don't mess with us cuz we're in the (One One Two)

    [Sisqo:]
    We going straight to the One One Two
    We going straight to the One One Two
    We going straight to the One One Two
    We going straight to the One One Two
    We going straight to the One One Two
    We going straight to the One One Two, come on

    (One One Two)
    When I roll into the
    (One One Two)
    When I stroll into the
    We loggin' straight to the One One Two (the One One Two)
    (One One Two) whoo, uh
    (One One Two) ha ha ha ha
    (One One Two) uh Dru, Dru
    (One One Two) I patch patch it again y'all patch patch it again
    (One One Two) ha ha ha ha
    (One One Two) Big Raz, Dru Hill, uh
    (One One Two) Big Will, Dru Hill ha ha ha ha
    (One One Two) the One One Two
    (One One Two) uh
    (One One Two) one cast
    (One One Two) uh,
    (One One Two) the One One Two bring in the heat, bring in the heat, what?
    (One One Two)
    (One One Two) uh can't stop the bumrush
    The One One (the One One Two)
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • isengrimb16_ESO
    isengrimb16_ESO
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Squishy wrote: »
    Now um, Mr Vile, since you beat me to Sheo, and I can't hope to beat that one.

    Hmm. (Looking into Tom Smith archives for something to plunder).

    Damn, he did such a good job with Hellraiser, I'm tempted to pay him his $350 to write a Clavicus Vile song. And another $350 for his own Sheo song. But I don't have that kind of money to spare (glum).

    Mr Vile? Tom Smith? *scratches head* :confused:

    Clavicus Vile, the Wishmaster. Daedric prince of wishes. His Skyrim quest was amusing (well, not the quest, just the things he said to me.)

    Tom Smith is some yokel from Michigan who writes "filk" songs. "Filk" is a modern sort of folk tune that tends to talk about nerdy things like Star Trek and video games and the Society for Creative Anachronism and stuff like that, as opposed to "folk" music that just whines about how crappy and un-Utopian things are.

    "Universal Soldier" and "where have all the flowers gone" are examples of folk.

    Leslie Fish and her "Harmless Historical Nuts" who wear boiler plates on their butts, and all that, that's filk.

    I love ren faires. Might be the reason I like ESO armour over silly, overdone WoW armour. My hunter should NOT look like a brightly-lit Vorlon with lights on his shoulders and crap.

    I think Toronto once had some restaurant that had a medieval theme, with jousting and all that, too. Don't know if it still exists.

    Edited by isengrimb16_ESO on May 27, 2014 8:29AM
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    I know who clavicus vile is, but I was confused, because it seemed like you called me MR Vile... and I was very very confused.

    Squishy gets confused easily, her egg was dropped a few times.
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • isengrimb16_ESO
    isengrimb16_ESO
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Squishy wrote: »
    I know who clavicus vile is, but I was confused, because it seemed like you called me MR Vile... and I was very very confused.

    Squishy gets confused easily, her egg was dropped a few times.

    But you are not vile. ? :)

    Eggs? Wish I could sell my remaining eggs in this dumb country, but that's a different story.
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    But you are not vile. ? :)

    Eggs? Wish I could sell my remaining eggs in this dumb country, but that's a different story.

    Depends on who you ask... egg selling is punishable by death.
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air (Theme Song)" / "Eye of the queen"

    Now, this is a story about a khajit
    The queen got flipped-turned upside down
    And I'd like to take a minute
    Just sit right there
    I'll tell you how I became the eye of a queen called Ayreen

    In west stross M'kai born and raised
    On the playground was where I spent most of my days
    Clawin' out maxin' levelin' all cool
    And all chasing some b-ball outside of the school
    When a couple of soldiers who were up to no good
    Started making trouble in my neighborhood
    I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
    She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Grahtwood

    I begged and pleaded with her day after day
    But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way
    She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my daggers.
    I eat my catnip on and said, 'I might as well horse it'.

    First class, yo this is bad
    Drinking skooma juice out of a champagne glass.
    Is this what the people of Grahtwood living like?
    Hmmmmm this might be alright.

    But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
    Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
    I don't think so
    I'll see when I get there
    I hope they're prepared for the eye of the queen

    Well, the cart arrived and when I came out
    There was a cat who looked like a guard standing there with my name out
    I ain't trying to get arrested yet
    I just got here
    I sneaked with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

    I whistled for a cart and when it came near
    The license plate said fresh and it had dice on the horse
    If anything I could say that this cart was rare
    But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, homes to Grahtwood

    I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
    And I yelled to the cartie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
    I looked at my kingdom
    I was finally there
    To sit on my throne as the eye of the queen
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Aeradon
    Aeradon
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    People keep telling me they're gonna buy me an ale. They never do.

    There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's culture. And the Elves.

    Help make this compilation complete!
    Compilation of Ideas and Suggestions
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    Aeradon wrote: »

    Not my best quote in all fairness :S

    I added my own comment on their page to clarify a few things though, problem with quotes, is they are out of context :)
    "User" Squishy??? Squishy is proud to be quoted, even if not one of her best quotes, but being a called USER? I'd settle for Argornian "the Argonian squishy" *pouts* how dare you call me a user? *double pouts*

    I would also like to state I'm not angry at ESO , slightly disappointed maybe, but definitively not angry. I only quit, because after having finished the game (all quests on all factions), I ran out of solo content, so no point in sticking to the game, since I am allergic to Zerging and grinding. Just wanted to make that clear, as my quote made me sound angry, while I am not angry at all, and had a pretty good time in ESO, well, some issues here and there, but the game is quite ok all in all, even with its flaws :)

    And thank you for pointing out the site quoting me :).
    Edited by Squishy on May 28, 2014 10:00AM
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Aeradon
    Aeradon
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Lol. So you're waiting for more solo content to be released?
    People keep telling me they're gonna buy me an ale. They never do.

    There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's culture. And the Elves.

    Help make this compilation complete!
    Compilation of Ideas and Suggestions
  • isengrimb16_ESO
    isengrimb16_ESO
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'm sure they'll cycle around to some eventually.

    Patience is a virtue long discarded by the wayside in modern, throw-away culture.
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "My Name Is" / "My name is"

    [Chorus: x2]
    Hi! My name is... (what?) My name is... (who?)
    My name is... [scratches] scally Squishy
    Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (what?)
    My name is... [scratches] Scally Squishy

    Ahem... excuse me!
    Can I have the attention of the group for one second?

    [Eminem:]
    Hi kids! Do you like kitting? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
    Wanna see me kite Nine mobs sole through each one of my instance? (Uh-huh!)
    Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
    Try 'sorc and get killed lot more that your class is? (Huh?)
    My gem's dead weight, I'm trying to get my gem charged
    But I can't figure out which mob group I want to soultrap (Ummmm...)
    And Dr. Dre said, "My Squishy you a caster!"
    Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face white? Girl you vampire!"
    Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
    Cause I played my original game from the bed on a sega
    Got Leveled up and ripped so many mobs off
    And trapped her so hard I knocked her soul backwards like Kris Kross
    I drank a fat pound of ale and fell on my ass
    Faster than a fat loot who droped down too fast
    C'mere Raz! (Squishy, wait a minute, that's my man dog!)
    I don't give a damn, God sent me to report the bots off!

    [Chorus]

    [Eminem:]
    My Khajiit teacher wanted to flunk me in eggin' High
    Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five
    I smacked him in his face with an ultimate, chased him with a healer
    And slapped his butt with a group of casters(Owwwwwwww!)
    Walked in the ale club, had my jerkin zipped up
    E'ed the bartender, then clicked my mouse on the quest cup
    Mounted argonians runnin' over pedestrians
    In a zerg group while they screaming at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
    Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
    I just found out my girl does more dps than I do (Damn!)
    I told her I'll level up to be a famous kitter
    Make a thread about solo kitting and name it after her(Oh thank you!)
    You know you blew it when the mobs rush your stands
    And try to nuke your group like some screaming Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
    This guy at Worm Castle asked for my autograph
    (Girl, can I get your autograph?)
    So I signed it: 'Dear Tharn, thanks for the support, WORTHLESS!'

    [Chorus]

    [Eminem:]
    Stop the tape! This egg needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
    Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
    I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Kite that!)
    I'll have to be carried outdside the dungeon and rezed back to tank(Huh yup!)
    Am I coming or going? I can barely decide
    I just drank a fifth of skooma - dare me to tank? (Go ahead)
    All my life I was very deprived
    I ain't had a purple in years, and my palms are too clawy to hide (Whoops!)
    Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
    I spit when I talk, I'll kite anything that walks (C'mere)
    When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
    How you gonna breast feed me mom? (Wah!)
    You are an argonian! (Wahhh!)
    I lay awake and log-in in the bed
    With a heavy armor chest on and shoot that mob in the head (BANG!)
    I'm castin' mad (Arrrggghhh!)
    And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
    Tell him that I sold his loot, to this alt I had

    [Chorus]
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Men In Black" / "Bots in rags"
    Hohh!

    Oh no the bots are back
    It's the B.O.T's, uh, here come the B.O.T's
    Damn bots are back, bots are back
    They won't let you gather

    Nah nah nah.
    The bad guys dress in rags, remember that
    Just in case we ever face to face and make contact
    The title held by them, B.O.T

    Means what you think you saw, you did not see
    So don't blink be what was there is now gone
    The rag suits with the four strikes on
    Walk under the ground, bot in silence

    Thieves of extra-nodes no violence
    But yo we ain't on no zenimax' list
    They straight don't exist - no names and no fingerprints
    Saw somethin' strange, watch your back

    'Cause you never quite know where the B.O.Ts are at
    Uh, eh

    Oh no the bots are back, Bots in rags
    Tamriel worse looters.

    Oho oho oho
    Oh no the bots are back, Bots in rags
    They won't let you gather

    Aha, aha
    Now, From the deepest of the darkest night
    On the horizon, bright light enters sight tight
    Cameras zoom, on the offending boom

    But then like BOOM ragged bots fill the room up
    With the quickness, no talk with the witnesses
    Exploiters, bad botters
    Vivid looting turn to fantasies

    Ain't no BOT's, can I please
    Get what we see, that's they way we kick it
    D'ya know what I mean
    I see my report finger get wicked on ya

    They're your first, last and only cause of offense
    They are the worst scum of the universe
    So you fear them, report them
    If you ever get near them, go report them, they're useless

    B.O.T's freezin' up all the flack
    What's that stand for? Bots are back

    The Bots are back
    The Bots in rags

    Let me see ya don't tp away from me
    don't tp away from me
    don't tp away from me
    Come on, let me see ya just glide to me

    Just glide with me
    Just glide with me
    Come on, let me see ya take a walk to me
    Just walk to me

    Take a walk to me
    Come on, and make your neck work
    Now freeze

    Ohhhhhhhhoh

    Oh no the bots are back, Bots in rags
    Tamriel's offenders. Ohh, Ooohh
    Oh no the bots are back, Bots in rags, Bots in rags
    They won't let you gather. Oh nohh

    Alright report it
    Let me tell you this in closing
    I know they might seem imposing
    But trust me, if they ever show in your section

    Believe me, it's for your own protection
    'Cause zeni see things that you need not see
    And they be places that you need not be
    So go on with your life

    Forget that patchin' note
    Show hate to the rag suits, cause
    That's the bots In...
    That's the bots In...

    Here come the Bots In rags, here they come
    Tamriel's exploiters. Tamriel's exploiters
    Here come the Bots In rags, oho, here they come
    They won't let you gather. Won't let you gather

    Here come the Bots In rags, ohh, here they come
    Tamriel's exploiters. Oho oho oho.
    Here come the Bots In rags
    They won't let you gather
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭

    Not One Of Us (lion king) / Not One Of Us (clavicus vile /barbas)

    Deception
    Disgrace
    Evil as plain as the mask on his face

    Deception (An outrage!)
    Disgrace (For shame!)
    He asked for bargain the moment he came

    Deception (An outrage!)
    (He can't change his deals)
    Disgrace (For shame!)
    (You know these Daedra types)
    Evil as plain as the mask on his face
    (See you later, talking barbas!)
    Deception (An outrage!)
    (Just leave us alone!)
    Disgrace (For shame!)
    (Barbas, go back in the statue!)
    He asked for trouble the moment he came
    (See you later, talking barbas!)

    Born in grief
    Raised in hate
    Helpless to defy his fate
    Let him run
    Let him live
    But do not forget what we cannot forgive

    And he is not one of us
    He has never been one of us
    He is not part of us
    Not our kind

    Clavicus lied to us
    Now we're not so blind
    For we knew he would do what he's done
    And we know that he'll never be one of us

    He is not one of us

    Deception

    Disgrace

    Deception

    Disgrace

    Deception

    Sorry, running out of inspiration there :)
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Without Me" / "Without me" , my goodbye song, dedicated selfishly to myself :)

    [Intro (Obie Trice)]
    "Obie Trice/Fake Name No Gimmicks"


    two argonian girls go 'round the Hissmir, 'round the Hissmir, 'round the Hissmir
    two argonian girls go 'round the Hissmir, 'round the Hissmir, 'round the Hissmir

    Guess who's gone, gone away
    Squishy's gone, tell a swain
    Guess who's gone,
    guess who's gone,
    guess who's gone,
    guess who's gone
    guess who's gone
    Guess who's gone...

    [Verse 1]
    I've created a monster, 'cause this website is quoting squishy online
    they say anger I'm chopped liver
    well if you want anger, this is what I'll give ya
    a little bit of mead mixed with some hard whiskey
    some skooma that'll jumpstart my heart quicker than a
    shock when I get shocked back in cyrodiil by the ma-ges when I'm not cooperating
    when I'm kitting the zergrush while they're sieging (hey!)
    you waited this long now stop debating 'cause I'm gone,
    I'll be back one day not raging.

    I know that you are a maid Ms. Lifty but your master's heart problem's complicating
    So the big Zeni will let me be or let me be me so let me see
    haven't tried to shut me down on EGG-TV but it'll feel so empty without me
    So come on sing, kiss on your cheeks hug that,
    juice on your lips some on your jerkin and get ready 'cause Leroy's about to get runnin'
    I just finished all my vet zones
    THANK YOU ZENI!


    Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
    'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
    'Cause it feels so empty without me
    Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
    'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
    'Cause it feels so empty without me

    [Verse 2]
    Little daedric imps feeling rebellious
    embarrassed, their party get one shot by squishy
    they start feeling like nerfed trash mobs, helpless,
    'til someone comes along while they're questin' and yells " SQUISH' !!??!"
    Argonian lady, body is scaly, lift her tail in position, de-botting the noob zones a sweetie
    so just let me revel and bask, in the fact that I got everyone missing my tail
    and it's a disaster such a catastrophe for you to see so very little of my tail
    you ask for me?
    Well I'm gone [batman sound]
    kill your vile emperor solo kill him and then I'm gonna
    enter in and up under your skin like a skinthief
    The center of attention back for the winter
    I'm interesting, the best thing since tanking
    Grouping up with your kid's party and healing
    Testing "Attention Please" feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
    here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
    A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

    Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
    'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
    'Cause it feels so empty without me
    Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
    'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
    'Cause it feels so empty without me

    [Verse 3]
    A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go *** for tat with anybody who's botting this mob, that zone.
    In the craglorn you can get your tail kicked
    Worse than them original vet zones contents,and Molag
    you are mean to a lady, you five thousand years old bald headed demon fear me
    You don't know me, you're too old let go its over, everyone kills you all solo
    Now let's go, just give me the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
    I've been dope, suspenseful with the keyboard ever since
    Prince turned himself into a symbol
    But sometimes the quest just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me
    So this must mean I'm just questin', but its just me I'm just awesome
    Though I'm not the first king of dark sorcery
    I am the worst thing since Aquilarios, to do Black Magic so selfishly
    and use it to get myself wealthy (Hey)
    there's a concept that works
    20 million other sorcerers emerge
    but no matter how many fish in the sea it'd be so empty without me

    Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
    'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
    'Cause it feels so empty without me
    Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
    'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
    'Cause it feels so empty without me

    (Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la... la la la) [2x]
    "Kids"
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "Let it go / It is free." - let's mark my return, since the game is free, and my forum account is automatically turned on, with a little song everypony knows... :smiley:
    The drinks flows on our lips tonight
    Not a subscription to be seen
    A kingdom, a community,
    And it looks like I'm the queen.

    My banker is howling like this swirling storm outside
    Couldn't pay it in, heaven knows I tried!

    Don't let me pay, don't let me sub
    Be the good dev you always have to be
    Conceal, don't charge, don't let me pay
    Well, now it's free!

    It is free, it is free
    Don't have to pay anymore
    It is free, it is free
    Come back and play the game!

    I don't care
    That they ain't goin' to pay
    Let the haters rage on,
    The trolls never bothered me anyway!

    It's funny how some time
    Makes everything go free
    And the fears that once controlled me
    Can't get to me at all!

    It's time to see what I can do
    To test the forums and see it through
    No fee, no sub, no cash for me It's free!

    It is free, it is free
    I am on the forums again
    It is free, it is free
    You'll see me here again!

    Here I am
    Maybe I'll stay
    Let the haters rage on!

    My power flurries through the air into your chest
    My soul is spiraling in rezzing markers all around
    And one hotkey push casts that icy blast
    I'm never paying it,
    The past is in the past!

    It is free, it is free
    And I'll rise like the break of dawn
    It is free, it is free
    That subscription is gone!

    Here I stand
    In the forums all day
    Let the haters rage on,
    The trolls never bothered me anyway!
    Edited by Squishy on March 18, 2015 7:10AM
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
  • Squishy
    Squishy
    ✭✭✭
    "What does the fox say?" / "What does the guar say?"
    Scamp goes reeuurr, egg goes squish.
    Boar goes burf, and rat goes squeek.
    Fox goes bark. Frog goes Yack, and the slaughterfish goes gniack.
    Trolls say Errk and nymph go weee, and the warith goes Hoo Hoo Hoo.
    But there's one sound that no one knows...
    WHAT DOES THE GUAR SAY?

    Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
    Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
    Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
    WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
    Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
    Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
    Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
    WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
    Hatee-hatee-hatee-***!
    Hatee-hatee-hatee-***!
    Hatee-hatee-hatee-***!
    WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
    Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
    Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
    Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
    WHAT THE GUAR SAY?

    Big brown eyes, roundy nose, chasing imps, and looking cute.
    Pretty claws, up the hill, suddenly you're standing still.
    Your scales are red, so beautiful, like an angel in disguise.
    But if you meet a WE-er-wolf, will you communicate by mo-o-o-o-orse, mo-o-o-o-orse, mo-o-o-o-orse?
    How will you speak to that WE-er-wolf, WE-er-wolf, WE-er-wolf?
    WHAT DOES THE GUARSAY?!

    Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
    Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
    Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
    WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
    Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!
    Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!
    Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!
    WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
    A-hee-ahee ha-hee!
    A-hee-ahee ha-hee!
    A-hee-ahee ha-hee!
    WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
    A-oo-oo-oo-ooo!
    Woo-oo-oo-ooo!
    WHAT DOES THE GUAR SAY?!

    The secret of the Guar, ancient mystery.
    Somewhere deep in the woods, I know you're hiding.
    What is your sound? Will we ever know?
    Will always be a mystery what do you say?

    You're my guardian angel hiding in the woods.
    What is your sound? (A-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum a-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum)
    Will we ever know? (A-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum)
    I want to, I want to, I want to know! (A-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum)
    (Bay-buh-day bum-bum bay-dum)
    "In 2014, a possible bot was sent to coldharbour by a military GM for a crime she didn't commit. This argonian promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Ebonheart underground. Today, still wanted by the developers she survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a bot problem, if no one else can bite you, and if you can find her....maybe you can hire The SQUISHY."
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