Why am I experiencing more predatory behaviour ingame? Please read

Artanisul · October 27

TheMajority wrote: »

none of this behavior has anything to do with ERP or the roleplay community

this is clearly a bad person who should be reported (and you should of reported them to the guild too because the guild master would probably want to kick them) and also report them to discord instead of deleting your discord account (why would you do that instead of submitting a report and blocking that person?)

ERP community and RP community have consent policies. yeah, there's bad apples around, but those arent roleplayers, those are wolves in sheeps clothing.

im sorry that happened to you but it has nothing to do with ERP. sending unwanted content to a person has not got a single thing to do with ERP.

But sending sleezy coments does. This is the example given.
This is the other end of the spectrum from my previous point in this thread. How about we keep ESO as ESO and not Tinder....

SeaGtGruff · October 27

Artanisul wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

I was approached the other day while doing writs in Vivec. The player started whispering me about how hot my character looked, and other such comments, so I told them to stop harassing me. They asked how that was harassing to which I didn't reply, but thankfully they did stop.

I had to end a friendship, too, because he just wouldn't stop flirting, even after several warnings.

I don't play games to look for virtual dates and I'm really surprised by how many actively erp. But I'm even more surprised that they approach strangers with their advances.

This is the beginning of a story about how we cant compliment other players anymore. Hyper sensitivity is the death of MMos for the casual players.

It's a question of words and phrases. Telling someone their character looks "hot" isn't quite the same as, for instance, telling them that their outfit looks "awesome" or "incredible." If you can't compliment another player's character without bringing the suggestion of sex into it, then it would be better to refrain from complimenting them at all.

vsrs_au · October 27

SeaGtGruff wrote: »

Artanisul wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

I was approached the other day while doing writs in Vivec. The player started whispering me about how hot my character looked, and other such comments, so I told them to stop harassing me. They asked how that was harassing to which I didn't reply, but thankfully they did stop.

I had to end a friendship, too, because he just wouldn't stop flirting, even after several warnings.

I don't play games to look for virtual dates and I'm really surprised by how many actively erp. But I'm even more surprised that they approach strangers with their advances.

This is the beginning of a story about how we cant compliment other players anymore. Hyper sensitivity is the death of MMos for the casual players.

It's a question of words and phrases. Telling someone their character looks "hot" isn't quite the same as, for instance, telling them that their outfit looks "awesome" or "incredible." If you can't compliment another player's character without bringing the suggestion of sex into it, then it would be better to refrain from complimenting them at all.

Agreed. In recent years, I've come to believe the world is split into 2 types of people: those who understand what the various types of harassment mean, and those who don't and who just dismiss any complaints of harassment as someone being "oversensitive". This latter group is generally fond of misusing the past tense of the verb "wake" as an adjective.

SteveCampsOut · October 28

vsrs_au wrote: »

SeaGtGruff wrote: »

Artanisul wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

I was approached the other day while doing writs in Vivec. The player started whispering me about how hot my character looked, and other such comments, so I told them to stop harassing me. They asked how that was harassing to which I didn't reply, but thankfully they did stop.

I had to end a friendship, too, because he just wouldn't stop flirting, even after several warnings.

I don't play games to look for virtual dates and I'm really surprised by how many actively erp. But I'm even more surprised that they approach strangers with their advances.

This is the beginning of a story about how we cant compliment other players anymore. Hyper sensitivity is the death of MMos for the casual players.

It's a question of words and phrases. Telling someone their character looks "hot" isn't quite the same as, for instance, telling them that their outfit looks "awesome" or "incredible." If you can't compliment another player's character without bringing the suggestion of sex into it, then it would be better to refrain from complimenting them at all.

Agreed. In recent years, I've come to believe the world is split into 2 types of people: those who understand what the various types of harassment mean, and those who don't and who just dismiss any complaints of harassment as someone being "oversensitive". This latter group is generally fond of misusing the past tense of the verb "wake" as an adjective.

That statement is just as "Dismissive" as the one you're claiming another party makes. It's not that simple and there are people in the middle. The world isn't black and white.

kyle.wilson · October 28

ArchMikem wrote: »

Pelanora wrote: »

Wtheck is an erp guild

Erotic Role-playing.

I'm honestly surprised People can get away with it on ESO without being suspended.

I don't understand why a game rated mature with slavery, assault, murder, drug use, gambling, and a lot of sexual innuendo has a chat system/ forum so heavily policed for even relatively minor things.

I haven't really noticed even basic roleplaying guilds on PCNA in years. Let alone the toxicity being described by multiple people. But, I also do not accept random friend requests or guild invites.

TheMajority · October 28

Artanisul wrote: »

TheMajority wrote: »

none of this behavior has anything to do with ERP or the roleplay community

this is clearly a bad person who should be reported (and you should of reported them to the guild too because the guild master would probably want to kick them) and also report them to discord instead of deleting your discord account (why would you do that instead of submitting a report and blocking that person?)

ERP community and RP community have consent policies. yeah, there's bad apples around, but those arent roleplayers, those are wolves in sheeps clothing.

im sorry that happened to you but it has nothing to do with ERP. sending unwanted content to a person has not got a single thing to do with ERP.

But sending sleezy coments does. This is the example given.
This is the other end of the spectrum from my previous point in this thread. How about we keep ESO as ESO and not Tinder....

sleezy comments has nothing to do with ERP or the RP community, again the real members of that community got a CONSENT POLICY, please actually read before you reply in an uniformed way. sleezy comments are NOT CONSENTUAL or a part of what ERP or RP is.

its NOT A ROLEPLAY to send unwanted comments, it's just BAD MANNERS, do not equate it to RP or ERP if you do not know what it is and don't understand it.

Warhawke_80 · October 28

Block/Report and understand there are a lot of weirdos in any MMO

SeaGtGruff · October 28

SteveCampsOut wrote: »

vsrs_au wrote: »

SeaGtGruff wrote: »

Artanisul wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

I was approached the other day while doing writs in Vivec. The player started whispering me about how hot my character looked, and other such comments, so I told them to stop harassing me. They asked how that was harassing to which I didn't reply, but thankfully they did stop.

I had to end a friendship, too, because he just wouldn't stop flirting, even after several warnings.

I don't play games to look for virtual dates and I'm really surprised by how many actively erp. But I'm even more surprised that they approach strangers with their advances.

This is the beginning of a story about how we cant compliment other players anymore. Hyper sensitivity is the death of MMos for the casual players.

It's a question of words and phrases. Telling someone their character looks "hot" isn't quite the same as, for instance, telling them that their outfit looks "awesome" or "incredible." If you can't compliment another player's character without bringing the suggestion of sex into it, then it would be better to refrain from complimenting them at all.

Agreed. In recent years, I've come to believe the world is split into 2 types of people: those who understand what the various types of harassment mean, and those who don't and who just dismiss any complaints of harassment as someone being "oversensitive". This latter group is generally fond of misusing the past tense of the verb "wake" as an adjective.

That statement is just as "Dismissive" as the one you're claiming another party makes. It's not that simple and there are people in the middle. The world isn't black and white.

Not only are there people in the middle, but there are people of all genders who enjoy being thought of as "hot." Also, it was not so long ago that societal standards about what kinds of behavior are deemed "acceptable" were quite different, at least as portrayed on television, in movies, in print, in song lyrics, etc. It shouldn't be surprising if some people are confused about what's okay and what's not okay these days.

It really boils down to how well you know the person, and if you know whether they'll be offended by a particular compliment or not. If you aren't sure, then you should be careful about what you compliment them on and how you phrase it.

Thysbe · October 28

I don´t think personal boundaries are a matter of discussion - if someone is feeling harassed by teabagging they are and this should be respected

whenever I face a predator or stalker (RL or VL) the steps the Op susggested are the only true way:

show the boundaries and tell them to stop (in dubio pro reo assume no evil intentions)
dont respond to them personally in any way after the intial "stop" - block, ignore - zero communication, zero response - dont give them the attention they are craving for
document and report them to authorities if it happens again

ElvenOverlord · October 28

I’ve never experienced this in ESO or FFXIV, surprised at not experiencing this in FFXIV since my first character and main is a Lalafell BM. I’ve played Wow off and on for about 13 years and I’ve experienced creepy erp stuff maybe like 3 times at most. But it’s entirely unacceptable, disgusting and uncomfortable. I feel for anyone who experiences this type of behavior and hope they can get the people doing it blocked/banned so they can enjoy the game in peace.

Vulkunne · October 28

This kind of reminds me of another topic we had going not too long ago about ZOS accessing and evaluating private conversations in-game.

I think the point from that discussion stands here as well. If you're posting anything either on the forums or in-game chat, even if it's a /tell or email or group chat, even if it's intended to be private the rule of thumb here is... the conversation is not private. Regardless of what you intended, it's not necessarily private unless it's done on some medium where privacy is 'guaranteed' or can be a more accessible option.

Remember you and me and the devil makes three so always be careful what you say - anywhere on the internet.

Arunei · October 28

Rowjoh wrote: »

Recent wrote: »

... I noticed this behaviour has got worse and it is spilling out into our eso community. Young kids play eso, they shouldn't but they do... This predatory behaviour is unacceptable.

ESO have flooded the game with fluffy pets, cartoony day-glow mounts, and childish creatures with silly voices in quests (scribing for example) all of which is clearly designed to attract a young audience.

Lolwat? You...aren't being serious, are you? The game having "fluffy" pets means it's targeted to kids, when the main protagonist of the main story is LITERALLY known as, once again, the King of Grape without the g? Because I guess adults don't like cute pets too? Brightly-colored things are meant to only appeal to kids, so I guess adults can't like tie-dye or bright colored drinks? And uh, yes, young creatures tend to be cute, and in plenty of media not meant for kids have "silly voices", because younger animals and people have higher voices. And also...this game is rated M or 18+ and so on, so...it makes no sense to target kids.

Just because something looks a certain way doesn't mean it's targeted to kids. It's like the argument of animated = for kids.

Castagere wrote: »

ArchMikem wrote: »

Pelanora wrote: »

Wtheck is an erp guild

Erotic Role-playing.

I'm honestly surprised People can get away with it on ESO without being suspended.

Wow, I never knew about these types of guilds. How is this possible in ESO? All the more reason to just solo play in mmo's today. Unless you have real-life friends that you can play with.

Because again...it doesn't affect anyone outside the guild. Why should it be anyone else's business what's being done in private between consenting players? It's not affecting you at all. It doesn't affect who you play with, how you complete content, what you can buy or do, none of that. It literally isn't this issue it's being made out to be. I'm a woman, I've been playing this game since closed beta. I've been in dozens of guilds, most of them RP guilds. I've RPed in public hubs for years. And I have NEVER come across this sort of thing, even as a heavy RPer.

Now obviously that's not to say other female players don't have issues, that's a really stupid thing to try and claim. Obviously others have issues, as one person's experience does not an average make. But I also haven't ever heard from the hundreds of people I've RPed with anything about ERP guilds making a bunch of money or ERP guild members harassing people. I HAVE heard of an instance where people were doing <self-snip> like that in public, iirc it was the Evermore hub, but I wasn't there for it. From what I heard people jumped all the hell over them for it. I don't know if the people stopped or left or whatever but trust me, even people who ERP do NOT CONDONE doing stuff like that in public. At all. The only people who do are massive <self-snip> creeps, or 99% more likely trolls, who have no place in this game.

OP really needs to edit their first post because blaming the entire ERP community for one or two people being creeps is just outright misinformation. ERP guilds and ERPers in general had nothing to do with their experience. It's the same as trying to claim all PvPers are toxic because a few were camping a bridge while stealthed or all PvE endgame players are elitist because someone ragged hard on a person's gear. Some ERPers are nasty weirdo creeps, but a majority of them are not.

Artanisul wrote: »

TheMajority wrote: »

none of this behavior has anything to do with ERP or the roleplay community

this is clearly a bad person who should be reported (and you should of reported them to the guild too because the guild master would probably want to kick them) and also report them to discord instead of deleting your discord account (why would you do that instead of submitting a report and blocking that person?)

ERP community and RP community have consent policies. yeah, there's bad apples around, but those arent roleplayers, those are wolves in sheeps clothing.

im sorry that happened to you but it has nothing to do with ERP. sending unwanted content to a person has not got a single thing to do with ERP.

But sending sleezy coments does. This is the example given.
This is the other end of the spectrum from my previous point in this thread. How about we keep ESO as ESO and not Tinder....

Lmao no, it doesn't. Full stop. Being a creep is in no way shape or form a reflection on ERPers. Just because you don't like something doesn't give you the right to equate it something that's actually bad.

Again, as long as things being done between CONSENTING ADULTS are kept PRIVATE, it is literally not your or anyone else's business or concern. The only time it becomes a problem is when bad actors take explicit stuff public, in spaces where people have NOT CONSENTED to seeing or being involved in it.

And guess what? In cases like that, I'd be willing to bet my entire account that those people aren't actual ERPs or RPers in general, they're trolls doing that stuff to get a rise out of people and make them uncomfortable, and to go out of their way to give actual RPers a bad name.

16BitForestCat · October 28

This isn't an ERP'er problem or a roleplayer problem; it's a jerks ignoring boundaries and consent problem. I don't mind people consensually gettin' frisky in game, in private. But I have no interest at all in "strong sexual content" whether it be offline or online, so I roll my eyes when people start getting "thirsty" with me in chat. If you boundary-ignoring predators would just stop hounding my female Argonian doing writs...and my chubby male balding Nord dancing in the town square (based off a real-life friend who wants to play ESO but doesn't have time)...and my tiny cute nonbinary femme Bosmer soloing world bosses...and stop /hammerlow-ing my male Altmer's crotch when I step AFK...and, most importantly, if you would stop doing these things when I tell you I'm not interested instead of doubling down because you don't care about boundaries or consent, I wouldn't have to keep reporting you.

I shudder at what will happen when I start taking out my Maormer (Altmer) Arcanist more often. She's the only one of my characters who dresses pretty skimpily, but it has nothing to do with being appealing to anyone and everything to do with how she works her sea magic in my headcanon. (In fact, she's extremely antisocial in RP and would probably punch out all the teeth of anyone who hits on her. Maybe even knock out the teeth of anyone who just compliments her, if she's already in a bad mood. I tend to favor friendly characters, so RP'ing one who Chooses Violence has been an interesting experiment. My friends have recently dubbed her "Elven Moo Deng." And they're not wrong.)

The reason I bring this character up is that she's only hostile if I'm roleplaying with people who agreed to it. If a random person comes up to me on that character waiting for a public dungeon boss spawn and says, "Wow, you look really nice!" I'm not gonna have my character start throwing punches. I'm gonna say, "Thank you so much!

" Because it's not RP if everyone involved isn't consenting.

To come back to the boundaries and consent problem: it is not okay to just start sending people naughty content in chat without being sure they're okay with it first. If you don't know if someone is into it, you should go find someone who you know is into it, and leave that other person alone to do their questing and dancing on top of wayshrines in peace. There are communities for finding this kind of thing all over the Internet—I've run across quite a few without even looking over the years—so you have no excuse. And no, "You were doing the sexy male Redguard dance on top of the lamp-post in Belkarth while wearing nothing but your skivvies" is not an automatic invitation to ERP solicitations. Clothing and cosplay are not consent, etc. From what I've seen, some people just love being and looking as silly as possible. Doesn't mean they want to take a text tumble in the sheets with you.