I personally haven't played a DK but my friend does and he can engage groups of enemies higher level then him and without trouble always gets out alive with S&B (this is at the 30-40 lvl range).
Your boyfriend should probably read some threads about tanking in ESO since it's not like every other mmo.
If you stand around taking every hit you will have a hard time playing, this goes for all classes.

What I fear the most about the "freedom" of builds is that:
All end content melee dps = medium armor + daggers crit builds
caster = light armor only + destro staff
tank = heavy armor + 1h/s

I fear especially in PvP a few types of builds will quickly be dominant. PvP I can see being more flexible.

Want to play a 2 hander sorc in heavy armor? sounds cool and you CAN, but to compete in DPS you sort of need to switch that out for medium armor and dual wield daggers, too bad
Want to play a battlemage in heavy armor? Too bad you will regen magicka too slow, and you also need a staff to be effective.

TLDR: You CAN make a lot of builds based on cool ideas, but sadly it feels like synergies between armor, weapon and class choices will quickly severely limit non gimped build options.

Content in this game is about how combat works and mechanics. Builds/gear are entirely secondary. You gain far more from learning the combat system and blocking/interrupting/bashing at the right times, and learning boss mechanics, then you do from having a good build.

If you are having issues with solo content, then you simply have not recognized the above. So stop blaming everything else around you, and L2P.

Bow/DK "works", although I wouldn't say it's been the greatest combination ever (seems to work "ok" in PvP though /shrug).

I stacked stamina and some health, and mostly used these:
- poison arrow/bow. Kindof spam it against mages.
- silver bolts->silver shards (this is a 28m knockdown on undead/daedra) [basically works on most things with a 5% chance of hilarity]. This is a "must have".
- arrow spray->bombard (use this against groups of melee to open combat, reapply if necessary).
- stonefist->obsidian shard (this isn't as good as silver bolts and uses magicka).
- dragon blood->green dragon blood (convert magicka to stamina+health).
- magma armour (dawnbreaker looks cool, but it needs fighter's guild 10).

These I did not find remotely useful:
- snipe. Useful in PvP, but in PvE it's mostly pointless. (expand into lethal arrow).
- volley. Too slow.
- obsidian shard etc. You should have enough CC to not need this.
- molten weapons. Works better in a group setting I think.

Use medium (or medium+heavy) armour, stack stamina.

This isn't other MMOs, so don't play it like it is. This is ESO, play it like ESO. Do not fill 5 pure dps skills with a dps ulti and expect to not get your ass handed to you. You need CC, CC is HUGE in this game. You need survivability. You NEED to block, heal and dodge so don't burn your pools on just offence.

If you are running with a healer character and a tank character every second of your game time... fine. Have at it. If not you need to build for solo play.

If you disagree, then you can go waste all your gold on soul gems and repair bills.

Psychic_Kitty wrote: »

The balance is horrible in this game....you get up to high levels and still do the same damage except maybe 5 points more when you reach that level.

Wrong. Progression is not exponential and inflated in ESO (thank the gods), but it is CERTAINLY not a flat line. I'm pretty sure my skills do hundreds of points of damage, from a starting point of around what, 10 damage?

Psychic_Kitty wrote: »

The ultimate show of this games balance system problem was the Tank system...you cant hold the agro and cant sustain the damage enough to protect your friends...and that failing...makes the balance really bad.

Being a tank in ESO does not make you a god. You're not as squishy as other characters, but that doesn't mean you can take on armies. You are required to actually think and select your targets based on priority. The tank keeps the hard hitters away from the party while the DPS clear out the normal mobs. The game isn't doing anything wrong, you are. Play ESO like ESO, not like other games you've played in the past.

Psychic_Kitty wrote: »

And the skill mechanic problems are kind of really noticeable....I mean seriously....when you make a level 50 tincture of health...it needs to heal more then a level 1 version....but no....right now all the difference is that a level 50 potion can only be used by a level 50 player....while level 1s can be used by all.

I am a level 50 alchemist and this is just plain wrong. You don't even know how the tradeskill system works and you are bashing it. Each level of healing potion does more than the last. When you say "level 50 tincture" everyone automatically knows that you don't know what you are talking about, as "tincture" is the title applied to lowbie potions. Level 50 potions are not called tinctures. The only potions that are the same at all levels are the ones that do not deal damage or heal, such as invisibility potions.

Basically everything in your post shows that you either didn't play the game much at all, tried to play it like it was another MMO and refused to adapt, or are purposefully spreading disinformation and negativity.