Just for fun. Popular songs, ESO style.

Squishy · May 2014

"My lovely horse" / " My matriarch" - dedicated to Irish players if there any

-

My matriarch, running through the field
Where are you going, with your big wings flapping in the air?

I want to upragde you with a skillpoint, and use you on mobs
Polish your claws every single day, and bring you to the pet dentist

My matriarch, you're useless no more
Running around with a mob at your back, like a train in the night...

For those unfamiliar with Father ted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg

Squishy · May 2014

"Rosa Helikopter" / " a corrupted texture"

It's a corrupted texture
am I gona have to log?
a corrupted texture
yes, then I will log off so it goes away
a corrupted texture
log so it goes away
a corrupted texture
yes, then I'm loggin away to get to see all ok

laying awake in my bed in the middle of the night and playing with you
i felt that my heals let me down
playing alone in my room only grouping and kitting with you
Ohh I know what i want
I want up to the craglorn one more time

It's a corrupted texture
am I gona have to log?
a corrupted texture
yes, then I will log off so it goes away
a corrupted texture
log so it goes away
a corrupted texture
yes, then I'm loggin away to get to see all ok

getting ready to take aggro, just as good when im heading this way
because i only wanted to see if you already were there
when we kitted the world boss, yes, then you nuked and healed for me
Ohh I know what i want
I want up to the craglorn one more time

It's a corrupted texture
am I gona have to log?
a corrupted texture
yes, then I will log off so it goes away
a corrupted texture
log so it goes away
a corrupted texture
yes, then I'm loggin away to get to see all ok

It's a corrupted texture
am I gona have to log?
travel to you
to you
to you

It's a corrupted texture
am I gona have to log?
travel to you
to you

Im hoping the english translation fits the song

if not, well someone translates it back to swedish

Squishy · May 2014

"Scotty Doesn't Know" / "Zeni doesn't know" - in case there are any doubts, it's not advertising or supporting exploiting

Hey!!!!!!

Zeni doesn't know,
That Molag and me,
Fall off the map every Sundas.

He tells them I'm oped,
But he doesn't know,
Still hes on his knees, and...

Zeni doesn't know, oh.
Zeni doesn't know-oh.
So don't tell Zeni!
Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know.
SO DON'T TELL ZENI!

Squishy says she's out Kitting,
But she's under the map she's not stopping.

Cause Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know.
So don't tell Zeni.
Zeni doesn't knoooooow....
DON'T TELL ZENI!

I can't believe the client's trusting,
While I'm right behind you kitting.

Squishy's got them on the phone,
and she's trying not to 'sploit.
It's a three way call,
and they knows nothing.
NOTHING!!!

Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know,
Don't tell Zeni.
Cause Zenidoesn't know,
Zeni doesn't knoooooow....
SO DON'T TELL ZENI!

We'll put on a show, everyone will go.
Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't knoooooow....

The kitting plot, why not?
It's so cool when under the map.
Their server, is trusting.
Laughing so hard, cuz...

Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know.

I soloed him without sweating.

Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know,
Zeni doesn't know,
Don't tell Zeni.
Zeni doesn't knoooooow....

Zeni will know,
Zeni has to know,
Zeni's gotta know,
Gonna tell Zeni,
Gonna tell them myself.

Zeni has to know,
Zeni has to know,
Zeni has to,
Zeni has to,
Zeni can not go!

Zeni doesn't know,
(Don't tell Zeni )
Zeni doesn't know,
(Don't tell Zeni )
Zeni doesn't know...
Zeni can't go!

Squishy · May 2014

"The Bad Touch" / "The Farm Spot"

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of farming
But there are several other very important differences
Between argonians and animals that you should know about

I'd appreciate your input

Kite baby kite baby give this mob a CC
Me and you do the kind of stuff that angryjoe would yell about
So put your hands down my bags and I'll bet you'll feel runes
Yes I'm Squishy, yes I'm castin' and you're getting two heals up
You've had enough of two-hand swords you want it rough you're out of health
I want you nerfed want you kitting like your life depends on it
Run quicker than 'sploiters never reach an apex just like skooma stock you are inclined
To make me log an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Do it now
You and me baby do nothin' but farming
So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
Do it again now
You and me baby do nothin' but farming
So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
Gettin' wealthy now

Love the kind you mop up in one shot and loot
Like the lost catacombs of Stros'mkai only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"
So if I cast on your targeted B5, B-5 I sunk its battleship
Please heal me up I'm Miss Squishy with no automatic trick
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Farm Time" you'll Love it just like that
And then we'll farm it kittin' style so we can both watch "X-Files"

Do it now
You and me baby do nothin' but farming
So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
Do it again now
You and me baby do nothin' but farming
So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
Gettin' wealthy now

You and me baby do nothin' but farming
So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
Do it again now
You and me baby do nothin' but farming
So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
Do it again now
You and me baby do nothin' but farming
So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
Do it again now
You and me baby do nothin' but farming
So let's do it like they do on all youtube Channels
Do it again now

original video for those that never heard this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k&feature=kp

Squishy · May 2014

"Ice Ice Baby" / "Cast Cast baby"

Yo, VIP, Let's nuke it!

Cast Cast Baby, Cast Cast Baby
All right CD, regroup and heal
Cast is back with my brand new skill morphing
Something has just CC'ed me tightly
Sneak like a nightblade daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo – I don't know
Turn on magelights and I'll glow
To the extreme I bash my shield like a vandal
Cast up a ball and wave a staff like a newbie.

Bash, Go rush the target that glows
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a sorc CC
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it, You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye, The squishy don't play
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the batswarm I just cast it

Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma
Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma

Now that the party is kitting
While the heal kicks in, and the healer are castin'
Quick to the point, to the point, no dying
Runnin' around like a zerg's after you
Burning them they ain't quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a crystal
And a hi vet with a morphed inferno
I'm on a roll but not time to go solo
Rollin' in my 5.0
With my armor fixed and my eyes that glows
The maids on standby, Waving just to say, "Hi!"
Did you stop? No – I just kitted by
Kept on pursuing to the next mob
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next zone
That zone was dead

Yo – so I continued to stros'mkai Beachfront Ave.
Girls were hot wearing starters bikinis
Rockman lovers driving the white horsie
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Shay with an axe and Squishy with a staff
Ready for the mobs on the wall
The mobs acting ill because they're so full of "Eight Ball"
Crystal spammed out like a bell
I grabbed my staff– All I heard were shells
Falling on the sandbeach real fast
Jumped on my horse, slapped on the ass (sorry, had to rhym

)
Tailheads to tailheads, the avenue's packed
I'm trying to get away before the spammer spam
Gm's on the scene, You know what I mean
They passed me up, confronted all the bot fiends
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the ban while the GM hammers it

Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma
Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma

Take heed, 'cause I'm a scally poet
Zeni's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town, that created all the ban sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Fast and strong casts that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed, This is a hell of a concept
We make it OP and you get CCed by it
Shay plays on the fade, slice like a nord
Cut like a razor blade so fast, Other DKs say, "damn"
If my cast was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get grouped
Magnetized by the mob while I kick my hot
If there was a problem, Yo – I'll solve it!
Check out the ban while the GM hammers it

Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma
Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma, Cast Cast Baby 'tis skooma

Yo, mer, let's get out of here! Word to egg-mother!

Cast Cast Baby Two HOTs, Cast Cast Baby Two hots Two HOTs
Cast Cast Baby Two HOTs Two HOTs, Cast Cast Baby Two HOTs Two HOTs

Squishy · May 2014

"Gangsta's Paradise" / " WormCult Paradise"

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my zone and realize there's nothin' black
Cause I've been casting and lev'ling so long,
That even my guild thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain't never crossed a mob that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a noob you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you're talking and where you're botting
Or you and your botties might be reported ingame
I really hate to move but I gotta go
As they sneak, I see myself in the mist form' smoke, fool
I'm the kinda G the little newbies wanna be like
On my knees in the shrines saying prayers in the streetlight

Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise

Look at the situation they got me facin'
I can't be a normal one, I was raised by argonians
So I gotta be down with the egg team
Too much prohet's visions watching got me chasing souls
I'm an educated fool with money on my mind
Got my staff in my hand and a glow on my eyes
I'm a castin' argonian set grindin' banger
And my party is down so don't arouse my anger, fool
Death ain't nothing but a wayshrine away,
I'm living life, do or die, what can I say
I'm R10 now, but will I live to see R11
The way things are going I don't know

Tell me why are we so blind to see
That the ones we hurt are you and me

Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise

Power and the money, money and the power
Minute after minute, hour after hour
Cultist's running, but half of them ain't looking
What's going on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin'
They say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to immo me
If they can't understand it, how can they reach me
I guess they can't, I guess they won't
I guess they front, that's why I know they're out of magicka, fool

Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the wormcult's paradise

Tell me why are we so blind to see
That the one's we hurt are you and me
Tell me why are we so blind to see
That the one's we hurt are you and me
[Fade out]

isengrimb16_ESO · May 2014

Ok, I have alcohol, and I'm wanting to write a love song to Sheogorath to the tune of Yazoo's "Only You". Too bad I'm about as creative as a wood tick.

Edit - Werewolf style - ROFLMAO, ROFLASTC, etc.

Edit edit - Together in electric dreams, gads, haven't heard that in a raccoon's age.

Edit edit edit - maybe Only You isn't the right song to start off with, not much to go on there. Still want to write a tribute to Uncle Sheo, though.

Squishy · May 2014

"Only You" Yazoo / "Only you"

@isengrimb16_ESO , hope this is good enough, I'm not familiar with the song or the singer...

Madness is a window above
It's like a story of love
Can you hear sheo?
Became mad yesterday
I'm falling farther away
Want you near me

All needed is the madness you gave
All I needed for another play
And all I ever want
Only you

Sometimes when I think of your name
When it's only a game
And I need sheo
Listen to the words that you say
It's getting harder to think
When I see you

All needed is the madness you gave
All I needed for another play
And all I ever want
Only you
All needed is the madness you gave
All I needed for another play
And all I ever want
Only you

This aint going to take a long time
And where was my mind
Can't think no more (can't think no more)
Wonder if you'll understand
It's just the taste of your cheese
Behind a Greymarch

All needed is the madness you gave
All I needed for another play
And all I ever want
Only you

"only you" - the platters / "only sheo"

Only sheo
can make this realm seem right
Only seho
can make the madness bright
Only sheo and demantia
can thrill me like you do
and fill my mind with cheese from only you

Only sheo
can make this change in me
For it's true
you are my destiny
When you hold my nose, I understand
the magic that you do
You're my dream come true
my one and only prince, only you

Only sheo and demantia
can thrill me like you do
and fill my mind with cheese from only you

Only sheo
can make this change in me
For it's true
you are my destiny
When you hold my nose, i understand
the magic that you do do
You're my dream come true
my one my one my one and dementia

isengrimb16_ESO · May 2014

And I still want that Got Cheese shirt, even if I have to pay $50-75 bucks for a single printing of it. If I have to buy in bulk, too bad, they're all MINE, and I can't be priced on things I like.

isengrimb16_ESO · May 2014

Squishy wrote: »

"Only You" Yazoo / "Only you"

@isengrimb16_ESO , hope this is good enough, I'm not familiar with the song or the singer...

Madness is a window above
It's like a story of love
Can you hear sheo?
Became mad yesterday
I'm falling farther away
Want you near me

All needed is the madness you gave
All I needed for another play
And all I ever want
Only you

Sometimes when I think of your name
When it's only a game
And I need sheo
Listen to the words that you say
It's getting harder to think
When I see you

All needed is the madness you gave
All I needed for another play
And all I ever want
Only you
All needed is the madness you gave
All I needed for another play
And all I ever want
Only you

This aint going to take a long time
And where was my mind
Can't think no more (can't think no more)
Wonder if you'll understand
It's just the taste of your cheese
Behind a Greymarch

All needed is the madness you gave
All I needed for another play
And all I ever want
Only you

"only you" - the platters / "only sheo"

Only sheo
can make this realm seem right
Only seho
can make the madness bright
Only sheo and demantia
can thrill me like you do
and fill my mind with cheese from only you

Only sheo
can make this change in me
For it's true
you are my destiny
When you hold my nose, I understand
the magic that you do
You're my dream come true
my one and only prince, only you

Only sheo and demantia
can thrill me like you do
and fill my mind with cheese from only you

Only sheo
can make this change in me
For it's true
you are my destiny
When you hold my nose, i understand
the magic that you do do
You're my dream come true
my one my one my one and dementia

My reply to this seems to have gotten lost. Bottom line is, I lay down my bow at your feet for your brilliance. It fits.

The Platters one, not so much, but it's funnier than hell, and I enjoyed it.

Kudos!

Now um, Mr Vile, since you beat me to Sheo, and I can't hope to beat that one.

Hmm. (Looking into Tom Smith archives for something to plunder).

Damn, he did such a good job with Hellraiser, I'm tempted to pay him his $350 to write a Clavicus Vile song. And another $350 for his own Sheo song. But I don't have that kind of money to spare (glum).

swnmcmlxi · May 2014

A very funny thread. I offer this ESOfication of Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb as a tribute:

(Player 1) Hello, is there anybody in there?
Just whisper if you hear me, 'cause I sure would like a friend.
Hell, guys, I mean this is a public dungeon
There are nasty things down there, I don't want to die again!
You there! You! Just give some information, dude,
Just your basic stats, if we solo it will hurt!

(Player 2) I dish out pain, I'm DPS-in'
I kick mob asses to the horizon.
Let them come and come again in waves,
I don't care, I'll just dish out some more damage.
Some levels ago, well, things were different.
Before the respec, this boss just owned me.
I don't like that feeling – AOE –
Never again, perhaps you understand,
Am I gonna be so duped.
I want to be comfortably grouped.

(Player 1) Well now, things are starting to look up here,
I'll just press F – there – and you can just accept.
But hell, man, there's this thing, you know, 'bout healing.
I'm low on potions now – do you think we can pull through?

(Player 3) You'll feel no pain when I'm a-healing.
I'll heal you from here up to the horizon.
You will feel my spells like golden waves.
You will not fall, no, not while I'm still standing.
(Player 1) Oh, this is so great – we are a party now!
Let's party our way all through this cave!
I already see the first mob – over there
To the right – let's take them out!
My courage has recouped
For I have become comfortably grouped.

Squishy · May 2014

isengrimb16_ESO wrote: »

Now um, Mr Vile, since you beat me to Sheo, and I can't hope to beat that one.

Hmm. (Looking into Tom Smith archives for something to plunder).

Damn, he did such a good job with Hellraiser, I'm tempted to pay him his $350 to write a Clavicus Vile song. And another $350 for his own Sheo song. But I don't have that kind of money to spare (glum).

Mr Vile? Tom Smith? *scratches head*

Squishy · May 2014

"Wild Wild West" / " One One Two"
(feat. Dru Hill, Kool Moe Dee)

[Will Smith:]
One One TWO, Group UP, it is craglorn, rough patcher
No you don't wana solo
None of this, sword in this, no bot runnin this,
Dominion soldier, look it's like I told ya
Any damsel that's in distress
Be out of that dress when she meet Razum-dar
Rough neck so go check the nodes and gather
Watch your bag with flax and get a pot in your bag
Swallow your pride, don't let your lip react,
You don't wanna see my cast where my mouse be at,
With all of this, from the start of this,
Runnin the game, Razum-dar tamin the zone so remember the name
Now who ya gonna call?

[Dru Hill:]
Not the G.M.'s

[Will Smith:]
Now who you gonna call?

[Dru Hill:]
(G double E G) *squishy's note: no clue there*

[Will Smith:]
If you have a riff with people wanna bust,
Break out before you get zergrushed at the (One One TWO)
When I log into the (One One Two)
When I stroll into the (One One Two)
When I bounce into the (One One Two) MMO, MMO

[Sisqo:]
We patchin' straight to the One One Two
We patchin' straight to the One One Two

[Will Smith:]
Now, now, now, now once upon a time in the game
Mad man lost his damn mind in the game
Madness, givin' round cheeses, nothin' less
Now I must put his mind to the test (can you feel me)
Then through the shadows, in the saddle, ready for battle
Bring all your adds in, here come the boss
Behind my back, all the riffin' ya did,
Front and center, now where your lip at kid?
Who dat is? A mean elite , bad for your health
Lookin damn good though, if I could say it myself
Told me sheo is a mad man, but I don't fear that
Got mad weapons too, ain't tryin to hear that
Tryin to bring down me, this champion
When y'all clowns gon' see that it can be done
Understand me son, I'm the kittest they is,
I'm the quickest as they is, did I say I'm the kittest they is
So if you barking up the zone chat we comin, don't be startin nothin
Me and my partner gonna test DPS, Madness
Can't stand the heat then get out the One One Two

[Dru Hill:]
We going straight to (when I patch into the) the One One Two (when I stroll into the)
We going straight to (when I bounce into the) the One One Two
We going straight to the One One Two
We going straight to the One One Two

[Dru Hill:]
[Freestyling]
To any 'sploiters tryin to cheat, thinkin you're bad,
Any draw on Raz best with a pen and a pad,
Don't even think about it, six hots, healin a ton,
10 paces and turn, just for fun, son,
Up till sundown, zergin around,
See where the bad guys are to be found and make 'em lay down,
The defenders of the zone,
Crushin on pretenders in the zone,
Don't mess with us cuz we're in the (One One Two)

[Sisqo:]
We going straight to the One One Two
We going straight to the One One Two
We going straight to the One One Two
We going straight to the One One Two
We going straight to the One One Two
We going straight to the One One Two, come on

(One One Two)
When I roll into the
(One One Two)
When I stroll into the
We loggin' straight to the One One Two (the One One Two)
(One One Two) whoo, uh
(One One Two) ha ha ha ha
(One One Two) uh Dru, Dru
(One One Two) I patch patch it again y'all patch patch it again
(One One Two) ha ha ha ha
(One One Two) Big Raz, Dru Hill, uh
(One One Two) Big Will, Dru Hill ha ha ha ha
(One One Two) the One One Two
(One One Two) uh
(One One Two) one cast
(One One Two) uh,
(One One Two) the One One Two bring in the heat, bring in the heat, what?
(One One Two)
(One One Two) uh can't stop the bumrush
The One One (the One One Two)

isengrimb16_ESO · May 2014

Squishy wrote: »

isengrimb16_ESO wrote: »

Now um, Mr Vile, since you beat me to Sheo, and I can't hope to beat that one.

Hmm. (Looking into Tom Smith archives for something to plunder).

Damn, he did such a good job with Hellraiser, I'm tempted to pay him his $350 to write a Clavicus Vile song. And another $350 for his own Sheo song. But I don't have that kind of money to spare (glum).

Mr Vile? Tom Smith? *scratches head*

Clavicus Vile, the Wishmaster. Daedric prince of wishes. His Skyrim quest was amusing (well, not the quest, just the things he said to me.)

Tom Smith is some yokel from Michigan who writes "filk" songs. "Filk" is a modern sort of folk tune that tends to talk about nerdy things like Star Trek and video games and the Society for Creative Anachronism and stuff like that, as opposed to "folk" music that just whines about how crappy and un-Utopian things are.

"Universal Soldier" and "where have all the flowers gone" are examples of folk.

Leslie Fish and her "Harmless Historical Nuts" who wear boiler plates on their butts, and all that, that's filk.

I love ren faires. Might be the reason I like ESO armour over silly, overdone WoW armour. My hunter should NOT look like a brightly-lit Vorlon with lights on his shoulders and crap.

I think Toronto once had some restaurant that had a medieval theme, with jousting and all that, too. Don't know if it still exists.

Squishy · May 2014

I know who clavicus vile is, but I was confused, because it seemed like you called me MR Vile... and I was very very confused.

Squishy gets confused easily, her egg was dropped a few times.

isengrimb16_ESO · May 2014

Squishy wrote: »

I know who clavicus vile is, but I was confused, because it seemed like you called me MR Vile... and I was very very confused.

Squishy gets confused easily, her egg was dropped a few times.

But you are not vile. ?

Eggs? Wish I could sell my remaining eggs in this dumb country, but that's a different story.

Squishy · May 2014

isengrimb16_ESO wrote: »

But you are not vile. ?

Eggs? Wish I could sell my remaining eggs in this dumb country, but that's a different story.

Depends on who you ask... egg selling is punishable by death.

Squishy · May 2014

"Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air (Theme Song)" / "Eye of the queen"

Now, this is a story about a khajit
The queen got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the eye of a queen called Ayreen

In west stross M'kai born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Clawin' out maxin' levelin' all cool
And all chasing some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of soldiers who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Grahtwood

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my daggers.
I eat my catnip on and said, 'I might as well horse it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking skooma juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Grahtwood living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the eye of the queen

Well, the cart arrived and when I came out
There was a cat who looked like a guard standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sneaked with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cart and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice on the horse
If anything I could say that this cart was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, homes to Grahtwood

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cartie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the eye of the queen

Aeradon · May 2014

@Squishy you're featured on this article. http://m.theepochtimes.com/n3/697446-elder-scrolls-online-craglorn-fans-vent-their-frustrations-with-new-adventure-zone/

Squishy · May 2014

Aeradon wrote: »

@Squishy you're featured on this article. http://m.theepochtimes.com/n3/697446-elder-scrolls-online-craglorn-fans-vent-their-frustrations-with-new-adventure-zone/

Not my best quote in all fairness :S

I added my own comment on their page to clarify a few things though, problem with quotes, is they are out of context

"User" Squishy??? Squishy is proud to be quoted, even if not one of her best quotes, but being a called USER? I'd settle for Argornian "the Argonian squishy" *pouts* how dare you call me a user? *double pouts*

I would also like to state I'm not angry at ESO , slightly disappointed maybe, but definitively not angry. I only quit, because after having finished the game (all quests on all factions), I ran out of solo content, so no point in sticking to the game, since I am allergic to Zerging and grinding. Just wanted to make that clear, as my quote made me sound angry, while I am not angry at all, and had a pretty good time in ESO, well, some issues here and there, but the game is quite ok all in all, even with its flaws

And thank you for pointing out the site quoting me

.

Aeradon · May 2014

Lol. So you're waiting for more solo content to be released?

isengrimb16_ESO · May 2014

I'm sure they'll cycle around to some eventually.

Patience is a virtue long discarded by the wayside in modern, throw-away culture.

Squishy · May 2014

"My Name Is" / "My name is"

[Chorus: x2]
Hi! My name is... (what?) My name is... (who?)
My name is... [scratches] scally Squishy
Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (what?)
My name is... [scratches] Scally Squishy

Ahem... excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the group for one second?

[Eminem:]
Hi kids! Do you like kitting? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me kite Nine mobs sole through each one of my instance? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'sorc and get killed lot more that your class is? (Huh?)
My gem's dead weight, I'm trying to get my gem charged
But I can't figure out which mob group I want to soultrap (Ummmm...)
And Dr. Dre said, "My Squishy you a caster!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face white? Girl you vampire!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I played my original game from the bed on a sega
Got Leveled up and ripped so many mobs off
And trapped her so hard I knocked her soul backwards like Kris Kross
I drank a fat pound of ale and fell on my ass
Faster than a fat loot who droped down too fast
C'mere Raz! (Squishy, wait a minute, that's my man dog!)
I don't give a damn, God sent me to report the bots off!

[Chorus]

[Eminem:]
My Khajiit teacher wanted to flunk me in eggin' High
Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five
I smacked him in his face with an ultimate, chased him with a healer
And slapped his butt with a group of casters(Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the ale club, had my jerkin zipped up
E'ed the bartender, then clicked my mouse on the quest cup
Mounted argonians runnin' over pedestrians
In a zerg group while they screaming at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my girl does more dps than I do (Damn!)
I told her I'll level up to be a famous kitter
Make a thread about solo kitting and name it after her(Oh thank you!)
You know you blew it when the mobs rush your stands
And try to nuke your group like some screaming Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at Worm Castle asked for my autograph
(Girl, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Tharn, thanks for the support, WORTHLESS!'

[Chorus]

[Eminem:]
Stop the tape! This egg needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Kite that!)
I'll have to be carried outdside the dungeon and rezed back to tank(Huh yup!)
Am I coming or going? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of skooma - dare me to tank? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a purple in years, and my palms are too clawy to hide (Whoops!)
Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll kite anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
How you gonna breast feed me mom? (Wah!)
You are an argonian! (Wahhh!)
I lay awake and log-in in the bed
With a heavy armor chest on and shoot that mob in the head (BANG!)
I'm castin' mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I sold his loot, to this alt I had

[Chorus]

Squishy · May 2014

"Men In Black" / "Bots in rags"

Hohh!

Oh no the bots are back
It's the B.O.T's, uh, here come the B.O.T's
Damn bots are back, bots are back
They won't let you gather

Nah nah nah.
The bad guys dress in rags, remember that
Just in case we ever face to face and make contact
The title held by them, B.O.T

Means what you think you saw, you did not see
So don't blink be what was there is now gone
The rag suits with the four strikes on
Walk under the ground, bot in silence

Thieves of extra-nodes no violence
But yo we ain't on no zenimax' list
They straight don't exist - no names and no fingerprints
Saw somethin' strange, watch your back

'Cause you never quite know where the B.O.Ts are at
Uh, eh

Oh no the bots are back, Bots in rags
Tamriel worse looters.

Oho oho oho
Oh no the bots are back, Bots in rags
They won't let you gather

Aha, aha
Now, From the deepest of the darkest night
On the horizon, bright light enters sight tight
Cameras zoom, on the offending boom

But then like BOOM ragged bots fill the room up
With the quickness, no talk with the witnesses
Exploiters, bad botters
Vivid looting turn to fantasies

Ain't no BOT's, can I please
Get what we see, that's they way we kick it
D'ya know what I mean
I see my report finger get wicked on ya

They're your first, last and only cause of offense
They are the worst scum of the universe
So you fear them, report them
If you ever get near them, go report them, they're useless

B.O.T's freezin' up all the flack
What's that stand for? Bots are back

The Bots are back
The Bots in rags

Let me see ya don't tp away from me
don't tp away from me
don't tp away from me
Come on, let me see ya just glide to me

Just glide with me
Just glide with me
Come on, let me see ya take a walk to me
Just walk to me

Take a walk to me
Come on, and make your neck work
Now freeze

Ohhhhhhhhoh

Oh no the bots are back, Bots in rags
Tamriel's offenders. Ohh, Ooohh
Oh no the bots are back, Bots in rags, Bots in rags
They won't let you gather. Oh nohh

Alright report it
Let me tell you this in closing
I know they might seem imposing
But trust me, if they ever show in your section

Believe me, it's for your own protection
'Cause zeni see things that you need not see
And they be places that you need not be
So go on with your life

Forget that patchin' note
Show hate to the rag suits, cause
That's the bots In...
That's the bots In...

Here come the Bots In rags, here they come
Tamriel's exploiters. Tamriel's exploiters
Here come the Bots In rags, oho, here they come
They won't let you gather. Won't let you gather

Here come the Bots In rags, ohh, here they come
Tamriel's exploiters. Oho oho oho.
Here come the Bots In rags
They won't let you gather

Squishy · May 2014

Not One Of Us (lion king) / Not One Of Us (clavicus vile /barbas)

Deception
Disgrace
Evil as plain as the mask on his face

Deception (An outrage!)
Disgrace (For shame!)
He asked for bargain the moment he came

Deception (An outrage!)
(He can't change his deals)
Disgrace (For shame!)
(You know these Daedra types)
Evil as plain as the mask on his face
(See you later, talking barbas!)
Deception (An outrage!)
(Just leave us alone!)
Disgrace (For shame!)
(Barbas, go back in the statue!)
He asked for trouble the moment he came
(See you later, talking barbas!)

Born in grief
Raised in hate
Helpless to defy his fate
Let him run
Let him live
But do not forget what we cannot forgive

And he is not one of us
He has never been one of us
He is not part of us
Not our kind

Clavicus lied to us
Now we're not so blind
For we knew he would do what he's done
And we know that he'll never be one of us

He is not one of us

Deception

Disgrace

Deception

Disgrace

Deception

Sorry, running out of inspiration there

Squishy · May 2014

"Without Me" / "Without me" , my goodbye song, dedicated selfishly to myself

[Intro (Obie Trice)]
"Obie Trice/Fake Name No Gimmicks"

two argonian girls go 'round the Hissmir, 'round the Hissmir, 'round the Hissmir
two argonian girls go 'round the Hissmir, 'round the Hissmir, 'round the Hissmir

Guess who's gone, gone away
Squishy's gone, tell a swain
Guess who's gone,
guess who's gone,
guess who's gone,
guess who's gone
guess who's gone
Guess who's gone...

[Verse 1]
I've created a monster, 'cause this website is quoting squishy online
they say anger I'm chopped liver
well if you want anger, this is what I'll give ya
a little bit of mead mixed with some hard whiskey
some skooma that'll jumpstart my heart quicker than a
shock when I get shocked back in cyrodiil by the ma-ges when I'm not cooperating
when I'm kitting the zergrush while they're sieging (hey!)
you waited this long now stop debating 'cause I'm gone,
I'll be back one day not raging.

I know that you are a maid Ms. Lifty but your master's heart problem's complicating
So the big Zeni will let me be or let me be me so let me see
haven't tried to shut me down on EGG-TV but it'll feel so empty without me
So come on sing, kiss on your cheeks hug that,
juice on your lips some on your jerkin and get ready 'cause Leroy's about to get runnin'
I just finished all my vet zones
THANK YOU ZENI!

Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
'Cause it feels so empty without me
Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
'Cause it feels so empty without me

[Verse 2]
Little daedric imps feeling rebellious
embarrassed, their party get one shot by squishy
they start feeling like nerfed trash mobs, helpless,
'til someone comes along while they're questin' and yells " SQUISH' !!??!"
Argonian lady, body is scaly, lift her tail in position, de-botting the noob zones a sweetie
so just let me revel and bask, in the fact that I got everyone missing my tail
and it's a disaster such a catastrophe for you to see so very little of my tail
you ask for me?
Well I'm gone [batman sound]
kill your vile emperor solo kill him and then I'm gonna
enter in and up under your skin like a skinthief
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since tanking
Grouping up with your kid's party and healing
Testing "Attention Please" feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
'Cause it feels so empty without me
Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
'Cause it feels so empty without me

[Verse 3]
A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go *** for tat with anybody who's botting this mob, that zone.
In the craglorn you can get your tail kicked
Worse than them original vet zones contents,and Molag
you are mean to a lady, you five thousand years old bald headed demon fear me
You don't know me, you're too old let go its over, everyone kills you all solo
Now let's go, just give me the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I've been dope, suspenseful with the keyboard ever since
Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the quest just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm just questin', but its just me I'm just awesome
Though I'm not the first king of dark sorcery
I am the worst thing since Aquilarios, to do Black Magic so selfishly
and use it to get myself wealthy (Hey)
there's a concept that works
20 million other sorcerers emerge
but no matter how many fish in the sea it'd be so empty without me

Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
'Cause it feels so empty without me
Now this looks like a post from me so everybody just follow me
'Cause we need a little pretty squishy,
'Cause it feels so empty without me

(Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la... la la la) [2x]
"Kids"

Squishy · March 2015

"Let it go / It is free." - let's mark my return, since the game is free, and my forum account is automatically turned on, with a little song everypony knows...

The drinks flows on our lips tonight
Not a subscription to be seen
A kingdom, a community,
And it looks like I'm the queen.

My banker is howling like this swirling storm outside
Couldn't pay it in, heaven knows I tried!

Don't let me pay, don't let me sub
Be the good dev you always have to be
Conceal, don't charge, don't let me pay
Well, now it's free!

It is free, it is free
Don't have to pay anymore
It is free, it is free
Come back and play the game!

I don't care
That they ain't goin' to pay
Let the haters rage on,
The trolls never bothered me anyway!

It's funny how some time
Makes everything go free
And the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all!

It's time to see what I can do
To test the forums and see it through
No fee, no sub, no cash for me It's free!

It is free, it is free
I am on the forums again
It is free, it is free
You'll see me here again!

Here I am
Maybe I'll stay
Let the haters rage on!

My power flurries through the air into your chest
My soul is spiraling in rezzing markers all around
And one hotkey push casts that icy blast
I'm never paying it,
The past is in the past!

It is free, it is free
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
It is free, it is free
That subscription is gone!

Here I stand
In the forums all day
Let the haters rage on,
The trolls never bothered me anyway!

Squishy · March 2015

"What does the fox say?" / "What does the guar say?"

Scamp goes reeuurr, egg goes squish.
Boar goes burf, and rat goes squeek.
Fox goes bark. Frog goes Yack, and the slaughterfish goes gniack.
Trolls say Errk and nymph go weee, and the warith goes Hoo Hoo Hoo.
But there's one sound that no one knows...
WHAT DOES THE GUAR SAY?

Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
Hatee-hatee-hatee-***!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-***!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-***!
WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Joff-tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
WHAT THE GUAR SAY?

Big brown eyes, roundy nose, chasing imps, and looking cute.
Pretty claws, up the hill, suddenly you're standing still.
Your scales are red, so beautiful, like an angel in disguise.
But if you meet a WE-er-wolf, will you communicate by mo-o-o-o-orse, mo-o-o-o-orse, mo-o-o-o-orse?
How will you speak to that WE-er-wolf, WE-er-wolf, WE-er-wolf?
WHAT DOES THE GUARSAY?!

Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!
Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!
Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!
WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
A-hee-ahee ha-hee!
A-hee-ahee ha-hee!
A-hee-ahee ha-hee!
WHAT THE GUAR SAY?
A-oo-oo-oo-ooo!
Woo-oo-oo-ooo!
WHAT DOES THE GUAR SAY?!

The secret of the Guar, ancient mystery.
Somewhere deep in the woods, I know you're hiding.
What is your sound? Will we ever know?
Will always be a mystery what do you say?

You're my guardian angel hiding in the woods.
What is your sound? (A-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum a-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum)
Will we ever know? (A-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum)
I want to, I want to, I want to know! (A-bubu-duh-bubu-dwee-dum)
(Bay-buh-day bum-bum bay-dum)