LGBT+ guilds

Grandchamp1989

Massacre_Wurm wrote: »

Grandchamp1989 wrote: »

My experience with the internet is a bit different. I have lost people to deadly diseases and when people casually say that the game or experience is pure 'Insert disease' it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

Mee too and i couldnt care less because i understand concept of metaphor. And the whole "you cant joke about X" or "casually talk about X" is just absurd. Should i be a drama queen each time people around me "casually" talking about drinking because my grandfather was alcoholic and died at 56 ? I will never understand this.

You don't always choose what affect you, friend. Maybe your experience didn't affect you as much? Maybe you're better at coping? Maybe you're ignoring it? Maybe you don't read more into it? Maybe a lot of things... Who knows?

People don't have your life or your experiences and you don't have theirs. Traumatic experiences hits us differently. One soldier might get PTSD from one tour in Iraq while another Soldier withstand a full career 50+ years in the army and still be fully functioning. Same with first responders, police etc.

For me I think it's a tasteless methaphor as you call it. That's my values and I try to avoid conversations when people speak in that manner. That's my choice and my right. Do you have to agree? You absolutely don't have to. But recognizing life experiences affect us differently I think is a good start.

Nyladreas

Massacre_Wurm wrote: »

Grandchamp1989 wrote: »

My experience with the internet is a bit different. I have lost people to deadly diseases and when people casually say that the game or experience is pure 'Insert disease' it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

Mee too and i couldnt care less because i understand concept of metaphor. And the whole "you cant joke about X" or "casually talk about X" is just absurd. Should i be a drama queen each time people around me "casually" talking about drinking because my grandfather was alcoholic and died at 56 ? I will never understand this.

Thank you for posting this. Finally someone who isn't brainwashed.

Chaos2088

So.... as a gay man reading this. I agree that sometimes you come across some nasty people who are homophobic, being in a guild that doesn’t tolerate that at all is important.

But I’m my experience being in this game in 5/6 years it’s the casual homophobia that gets me, won’t say anything to your face, but would just treat and speak to you differently, very typical “you can’t sit with us” play school stuff.

Hence why a lot of gay people seek out other gay people or like minded people so they don’t have to deal with peoples problems. Even some comments on this thread back that up. Lol

Let people be and let them be happy.

Jaraal

SilverBride wrote: »

Jaraal wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

But I still don't understand how anyone would even know what your preference is unless you make a point of announcing it. And why would anyone feel the need to do that?

Most mmo gamers know someone or several someones who have met and formed real life relationships with someone they met in game. Also, most people prefer to associate with like-minded individuals, and will do what is necessary to surround themselves with welcoming people.

Obviously, not everyone is looking to make relationships..... but why would you not want to hang out with people who think the same way as you do?

Are you saying straight people can't be like minded with LGBTQ people? I have more than one friend from that community because our friendships are based on having similar values and interests... not what our sexual preferences are.

Sexuality is an important part of human nature. Why pretend that it doesn't exist?

I'm a "straight people," but I have no interest in stereotyping how individuals should or shouldn't think, or placing guidelines on what constitutes an acceptable friendship.

Pauwer

Because personally, i don't care what peoples sexual identity or preferance is. All are equal wankers to me and i've never seen any homophopic or stuff like in game chat actually and i don't think majority of people really care about this stuff. I'd hate to think anyone of any minority feels like they have to hide away in this game or in the world and only hang in some own crowd. Join all guilds that you like, they will have all kinds of people in them.

Massacre_Wurm

Grandchamp1989 wrote: »

Massacre_Wurm wrote: »

Grandchamp1989 wrote: »

My experience with the internet is a bit different. I have lost people to deadly diseases and when people casually say that the game or experience is pure 'Insert disease' it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

Mee too and i couldnt care less because i understand concept of metaphor. And the whole "you cant joke about X" or "casually talk about X" is just absurd. Should i be a drama queen each time people around me "casually" talking about drinking because my grandfather was alcoholic and died at 56 ? I will never understand this.

You don't always choose what affect you, friend. Maybe your experience didn't affect you as much? Maybe you're better at coping? Maybe you're ignoring it? Maybe you don't read more into it? Maybe a lot of things... Who knows?

People don't have your life or your experiences and you don't have theirs. Traumatic experiences hits us differently. One soldier might get PTSD from one tour in Iraq while another Soldier withstand a full career 50+ years in the army and still be fully functioning. Same with first responders, police etc.

For me I think it's a tasteless methaphor as you call it. That's my values and I try to avoid conversations when people speak in that manner. That's my choice and my right. Do you have to agree? You absolutely don't have to. But recognizing life experiences affect us differently I think is a good start.

Or maybe i just understand that its not a random people's responsibility to cater to my "values" and "expiriences" ? You can expect it from your family and friends who know you.
Sure you can have your values and avoid conversations but dont make it look like those people are guilty of something.
"Tasteless" metaphor ? Whats so "tasteless" about it ? Its not rude or offensive or inappropriate. Its used all the time. For example "Cancer of corruption" speech , "hatred is like a cancer" ( MLK said something like that) and many more.

VelimOrthic

Gays were smashed down into the closet at best for literally 99.999% of history.

If they want their own clubhouse in the recent age of electricity and the even more recent age of computer games, they get it. You give it to them. And you don't bother them about double *** standards.

Pauwer

I might add that i only see sometimes a bit off comments towards female players in the game. I mainly pvp. Like the other night someone made some comment in the zone chat, other player asks "are u gay", they say "yes", other player says "cool".

But sometimes i like see group leaders talk about how many girls they have in group and how other groups can't have them. Also the level of hotness of female players can be discussed in the zone chat. But i don't go join girls only guilds still lol. I mean i wish they would not discuss these things, but they do sometimes and you can just try to ignore. Like it is just convo in a game and f 'em. Im above stuff like that.

Jayroo

maybe people wanna flirt without being judged? or they (even people not apart of the community) dont feel comfortable being themselves and lgbtq+ community is generally more accepting and they like that?

bottom line is who cares what the reason is. debating how people like to play a game is ignorant.

Astrid

Orion_89 wrote: »

Waits_Behind_Walls wrote: »

Orion_89 wrote: »

Is it so important to you? I doubt that someone cares about your preferences as long as you are not disturbing them as gamers. Good luck searching!

The fact that it's so important to many gamers should suggest that maybe your guess is not correct. People know what they can expect and they'd rather avoid it.

Well, not sure how you know that this is important to "many gamers", but if it is — so be it. What I was trying to say, that ESO comunity mostly friendly and there are many good people! (Except dps-daddies maybe)

Completely unrelated but “dps daddies” gave me such a chuckle. Next character name inbound

ZaroktheImmortal

Not sure on ones that are specifically LGBT but I've seen a few that have in their description being LGBT friendly

Grandchamp1989

Massacre_Wurm wrote: »

Grandchamp1989 wrote: »

Massacre_Wurm wrote: »

Grandchamp1989 wrote: »

My experience with the internet is a bit different. I have lost people to deadly diseases and when people casually say that the game or experience is pure 'Insert disease' it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

Mee too and i couldnt care less because i understand concept of metaphor. And the whole "you cant joke about X" or "casually talk about X" is just absurd. Should i be a drama queen each time people around me "casually" talking about drinking because my grandfather was alcoholic and died at 56 ? I will never understand this.

You don't always choose what affect you, friend. Maybe your experience didn't affect you as much? Maybe you're better at coping? Maybe you're ignoring it? Maybe you don't read more into it? Maybe a lot of things... Who knows?

People don't have your life or your experiences and you don't have theirs. Traumatic experiences hits us differently. One soldier might get PTSD from one tour in Iraq while another Soldier withstand a full career 50+ years in the army and still be fully functioning. Same with first responders, police etc.

For me I think it's a tasteless methaphor as you call it. That's my values and I try to avoid conversations when people speak in that manner. That's my choice and my right. Do you have to agree? You absolutely don't have to. But recognizing life experiences affect us differently I think is a good start.

Or maybe i just understand that its not a random people's responsibility to cater to my "values" and "expiriences" ? You can expect it from your family and friends who know you.
Sure you can have your values and avoid conversations but dont make it look like those people are guilty of something.
"Tasteless" metaphor ? Whats so "tasteless" about it ? Its not rude or offensive or inappropriate. Its used all the time. For example "Cancer of corruption" speech , "hatred is like a cancer" ( MLK said something like that) and many more.

I never said it's other people's responsibility to cater to my values, friend.

I fully support free speech, but remember free speech goes both ways.

You got the right to an opinion and I got the right to say that I disagree.
You got the right to engage is a conversation and I got the right to disengage from a conversation I don't want to be a part of.

If I'm not infringing on your right to your opinion I find it odd you take offense on my right to leave a conversation I don't want to be a part of? You should respect when people say they don't want to be part of a conversation. Forcing someone or shaming someone for withdrawing from a conversation is toxic.

People talk about free speech like it's your right to say the most obnoxious things that comes to mind.
You got that right sure - but once it's out other people got the same right, as you, to disagree with you or have nothing to do with said topics if it makes them uncomfortable.

You can say whatever you like, friend. Your values are your own and I respect that. But I choose what topics I want to be a part of and which I don't, based on my values. Respect is not a one-way street.

geonsocal

interesting discussion...I appreciate folks being patient and understanding with one another...

I don't know - enjoyment for the game of eso is a good reason to join guilds, joining a guild with folks from a similar community also seems like a pretty good resson to guild up...

not sure it's really right to judge folks for wanting to find what they feel may be a safe space for them...hard to judge others without really knowing their whole story...

I think it's good to get in where you fit in...much better than being or feeling all alone...

irony there being that i myself actually prefer being alone...

Germakochi

Y'all are OBLIVIOUS, like you have actually no idea. Most of the people do homophobic jokes all the time and it effects us mentally. You could never imagine the amount of "jokes" we have to endure because otherwise we are "too sensitive" or a snowflake. They just asked for a guild and you feel the unstoppable need to dump all your ideas about how LGBTQIA+ people should behave and how they should feel. Can't you see?
Also have you ever thought they might want to talk about topics related to LGBTQIA+ because it's literally a sub-culture at this point or they want to connect with other people in that way? It is not rocket science and we don't need to be berated by other people on what we should look for, how we should behave and how we should percieve the world.

[snip]

[Edited to remove Offensive Content and Profanity]

Sephyr

Minyassa wrote: »

FangOfTheTwoMoons wrote: »

sarahthes wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

How would anyone in any guild even know what your sexual preference is? I guess I just don't understand the need to label people.

It's not that people need to know that, but there's an awful lot of casual homophobia out there - typically stuff that most people wouldn't even report, but which is still pretty gross and unwelcoming. Joining a guild that advertises as LGBTQ-friendly reduces the likelihood of being exposed to those kinds of microaggressions.

This is actually the best explanation I've read. Some people just don't like hearing certain things and that should be fine.

Whenever I saw a LGBTQ+ guild advertisement I use to think to myself "well why would anyone need to advertise that specifically?" But then I realized not everyone is a normal human being and can function without being totally obnoxious or straight up homophobic, so it makes perfect sense that some people would like to surround themselves around other like minded individuals and avoid potentially toxic individuals.

That is exactly it. There is nothing quite like joining a guild you're excited about working with because they do content in a way you're looking forward to trying, they have a lovely guild hall, they're really enthusiastic and friendly and then someone just casually throws a homophobic or transphobic remark out and other people laugh or run with it and you suddenly realize that they are snakes in the grass and then you have to make some excuse to drop out so they won't all pile on you viciously for daring to not feel comfortable around that.

Quoting this again because people are missing the entire point about why us LGBTQers search for guilds and some of the responses in this thread hits this point even more.

Pauwer

I just think that you can hear some comments or jokes that might make you feel uncomfortable no matter what you are yourself. Like, everyone can experience that, everyone. And i think, personally, that the best way to deal with it is not to divide and box and seperate different kind of folks to own crowds. But of course anyone can join any specific guild they like, but like, i don't think you should feel like you can't other guilds too in this game. Like, most people are welcoming of all players, imho.

Sephyr

Germakochi wrote: »

Y'all are OBLIVIOUS, like you have actually no idea. Most of the people do homophobic jokes all the time and it effects us mentally. You could never imagine the amount of "jokes" we have to endure because otherwise we are "too sensitive" or a snowflake. They just asked for a guild and you feel the unstoppable need to dump all your ideas about how LGBTQIA+ people should behave and how they should feel. Can't you see?
Also have you ever thought they might want to talk about topics related to LGBTQIA+ because it's literally a sub-culture at this point or they want to connect with other people in that way? It is not rocket science and we don't need to be berated by other people on what we should look for, how we should behave and how we should percieve the world.

It really isn't rocket science and people who don't understand don't need to, nor is it any of their business. The OP asked for an LGBTQ+ guild and people feel the need to say it's dividing the community somehow and it's eugh. I've been looking for a decent match on PC-NA for a while now and having been through some of the big ones, I chose to look for something smaller. People can go "Oh it's dividing the community" all they want. No one said that LGBTQ+ joins ONLY those guilds. However for people who want to run content with likeminded individuals - it's hard. You've got transfolk who aren't comfortable with their speaking voice. You've got various speech markers and other idiosyncrasies (like passing comments about having to go talk to their same-sex partner/spouse) that comes up more frequently than people realize. To make matters worse, people use that as a determining factor on whether or not we're 'worth running' in progression content. Having been there myself? It sucks.

Iccotak

I don't have a problem with the request - I get it, OP wants a space where they are not going to deal with discrimination. Makes sense. Women had to do the same thing when getting into gaming, and many still do.

What I disagree with is the concept of Microaggression and Trigger Warnings.

[snip]

This is not specific to LGBTQ+. I have seen this happen in guilds over even the simplest of miscommunication or interpretation of one's tone of voice. [snip] IMO those spaces become really unhealthy and render useless peoples ability to be co-operative.

(I speak from experience - it is incredibly difficult to work with people who do not communicate and expect other people to somehow know better before inadvertently offending them)

Yes, be compassionate and understanding BUT that does not mean you have to cater to a point that everyone is walking on eggshells in fear of accidently provoking any kind of reaction.

Example: the very idea that somehow an individual saying they need to talk to their partner (whether opposite or same sex) is somehow triggering for others is completely ridiculous. Nonsense.

To be clear, totally get where the OP is coming from in seeking out a space that is LGBTQ+ friendly and can agree on that position. What I do not support are space that have 'microaggressions' or 'trigger warnings'.

[Edited to remove Baiting]

Vanya

Nyladreas wrote: »

As a rightful member of the LGBTQ+ community myself I've never honestly understood this utterly asinine and hypocritical need of a younger generation to be labeled, treated and viewed different at all costs while also aggressively implying they're not different at all. Yes we are different, yes we should be proud of it and deserve to be open with it. AND WE TOTALLY CAN. I ASSURE YOU 95% OF PEOPLE DON'T CARE. You make it out to be something else though!

TBH I feel crap like this is actually creating a whole lot more artificial hostility towards us than there ever was or actually would be.

[Snip]? I've dealt with extreme hatred and homophobia in my life, but jokes and harmless banter? That just makes me laugh ffs. You know what real homophobia is? I've actually been beaten up, had rocks and bricks threwn at me, received death threats, had my home sprayed over, someone started a fire in my backyard. What you folks are afraid of theses days absolutely blows my mind. Somebody makes a joke and ERMAHGERD. What is it these days? Especially since LGBTQ+ has become 20x more accepted than it ever was?

Seriously, we (you) are creating this ourselves in part because we (you) constantly feel the need to tell everyone how different we are. AND WE ARE BUT WHY SHOULD WE AVOID OTHER POEPLE THAT ARE FINE WITH US?! For the sake of the few *** idiots who even the cis/hetero people can't stand and would instantly ban/remove from their life!? WTF MAN!

I will never understand this new fad. If you were here to ERP or look for a good time or specifically friends in LGBTQ+ i would understand that. But since most people justify it here with comments that we see... Just ... What????

People are here to play a fantasy game, to enjoy a story (in a world where being homosexual is completely fine and natural btw). If you're here for something else than that then please stop using excuses and admit it. I'm sick and tired of people who know nothing of real homophobia constantly throwing that around because Somebody made a harmless (and If you really think about it) often actually funny joke.

People create "safe havens" where there need to be NONE these days. Just be a genuine good person.

PS: I've played MMOs since the old glory days of Ultima Online. Never EVER have I been a subject to direct or hostile homophobia in MMOs once in my life.

Hold on there, just because you were exposed by extreme hatred implying truth of your words does not mean people should just accept sick sense of "humor" and really twisted jokes that are hurting them. You never understood because you either never cared to fully explore it or I will give you a simple answer. People are different, if someone is more sensitive does not she/he have to accept "vague response" get thick skin or ignore ,etc not all can ignore,far from a long-term solution.People have a heart and feelings, [Snip] There always will be a conflict and entirely different life perspective ,LGBT in current is not an exceptionn. If you experienced these things it is obvious that you may consider some abuse lesser,but you are triggered a lot and speaking harshly. That "harmless joke is point of debate. Written messages can be misunderstood in many other forms. You see again you are speaking strictly from your point view blindly. There are plenty who were been exposed. Ultimately I get the point here Also its quite clear how many people come to socialize too than just playing story. For someone apparently so "experienced" You do not have broader view and quite limited borderline selfish way Sorry to say,forming an opinion based on what was stated originally.

[Edited for removed content]

DUTCH_REAPER

The fact that some of you are giving a difficult time to someone looking for an LGBT guild is sad. I have seen advertisements for PVP guilds, Christian guilds, Veteran Military guilds, PVE guilds, 18 and below guilds, 40 and over guilds, LGBT guilds, Women only guilds and the list goes on and on.

If you don't want to join the guild it doesn't mean you need to comment and voice your opinion. Let people find like minded people to game with regardless what their common factor(s) is/are and just mind your own business.

highkingnm

A lot of people not seeing the point in expressly LGBT+ inclusive guilds, but I ran raids with a number of trans people who got constantly misgendered even after making clear they were not "my guy/my gal", and after people said "but you're voice is too deep/high-pitched". Same running content with gay people who had to find a polite way to drop out when the raid leader starts talking about how "gay" things are as a negative. These people weren't actively hostile and probably didn't mean ill, but it can easily wear people down.

In a world where hostility is still very prevalent against LGBT+ people, especially in online spaces, I can't blame people who want to spend their free time somewhere they can avoid both the accidentally insensitive and intentionally hostile. A lot of people play games like ESO to escape and unwind, that can include wanting to escape homophobia or transphobia.

OP, I'm not in any expressly LGBT+ inclusive guilds, but I have seen some before on guild finder and you may have luck looking through that.

highkingnm

DUTCH_REAPER wrote: »

The fact that some of you are giving a difficult time to someone looking for an LGBT guild is sad. I have seen advertisements for PVP guilds, Christian guilds, Veteran Military guilds, PVE guilds, 18 and below guilds, 40 and over guilds, LGBT guilds, Women only guilds and the list goes on and on.

If you don't want to join the guild it doesn't mean you need to comment and voice your opinion. Let people find like minded people to game with regardless what their common factor(s) is/are and just mind your own business.

It's telling that people are in here claiming that an LGBTQ guild would 'tear the community apart' and getting quite hostile (in a "I honestly don't care, really...BUT" way), then wondering why people may want an expressly LGBTQ, or LGBTQ-inclusive, guild because "casual homophobia and transphobia, or hostility to LGBTQ peoplem doesn't happen on ESO".

Sephyr

highkingnm wrote: »

DUTCH_REAPER wrote: »

The fact that some of you are giving a difficult time to someone looking for an LGBT guild is sad. I have seen advertisements for PVP guilds, Christian guilds, Veteran Military guilds, PVE guilds, 18 and below guilds, 40 and over guilds, LGBT guilds, Women only guilds and the list goes on and on.

If you don't want to join the guild it doesn't mean you need to comment and voice your opinion. Let people find like minded people to game with regardless what their common factor(s) is/are and just mind your own business.

It's telling that people are in here claiming that an LGBTQ guild would 'tear the community apart' and getting quite hostile (in a "I honestly don't care, really...BUT" way), then wondering why people may want an expressly LGBTQ, or LGBTQ-inclusive, guild because "casual homophobia and transphobia, or hostility to LGBTQ peoplem doesn't happen on ESO".

Or telling us what we should and shouldn't be offended by despite all the stuff we go through on the daily.

DUTCH_REAPER

PEOPLE cmon!

We are playing this game because we like it, we enjoy it (except lag, fix it ZOS)!

I am a Retired Navy pilot who loves pvp AND pve, Im over 40 (holy crap when did that happen??) and a Christian who lives in the South.

If I created a thread asking for a Veteran guild or over 40 guild or a Christian guild I seriously doubt I would catch flak. Yet LGBT? this topic is cause for flak ?? Its 2021 cmon lets game and allow people to find like minded individuals. It makes the game more enjoyable for people to play with people they have the same outlook/experiences with things in real life.

Serenez

The entire premise of any objections to someone wishing to avoid discriminatory and offensive behavior is absolutely nonsensical. It further reinforces the desire of the OP to seek a guild that actually understands their wishes to avoid such behavior.

To indicate an example where one has played video games for X amount of years and has not experienced such offensive behavior and therefore offer this as a reason to object to the need for the OP to avoid such behavior is completely illogical. This merely indicates that the poster has not experienced this level of toxic behavior and it should not negate the wishes of another that chooses to avoid such behavior, Yes this toxicity does still occur in gaming and although there are many guilds out there that are welcoming of all people, they are not immune to toxic behavior. Having a guild advertise they have zero tolerance policies in place to toxic behavior just offers an addition layer of protection to those that wish to avoid it.

Jokes, statements and phrases that were once just 'socially acceptable" or ignorantly believed to be so, society is now finding out they are and have been hurtful to others. Just because phrases or statements do not bother one person does not mean it isn't hurtful to another. To disregard this is further reinforcing the need for public awareness that this is still going on in our society and in gaming.

If a gamer wishes to belong to a guild that has a zero tolerance of discrimination, I do not see why this is a debate or is even questioned for that matter.

To the OP - PM me as I do have an PC EU account and although I usually play on PC NA, I will log in later today and see if the guild I am aware of has openings.

ThorianB

Maybe i can help explain why this is asked from LBGTQ+ people as a straight male.

I have been in groups, guilds, alliances, etc in video games in which slurs are used frequently and casually by a hetero. The last really rememberable one of these was a couple years ago in Eve in which one of the alliance fleet commanders would frequently use such slurs on voice during ops. He used them in a derogatory manner casually against everyone. It would have been like using the derogatory N word, as a white person, for everyone.

I think he, and many others that use such slurs, think its ok because they are using them for the general population. So to them, it is ok because they are treating everyone equally. But it doesn't make it ok because it normalizes derogatory use of it and it can still be hurtful to people it isn't directed at.

Being in a social guild that would let something like this slide would not be a pleasant experience for people who that derogatory remark would normally be applied to. While some might think you don't need LBGTQ+ friendly if you don't discuss your intimate preferences, the reality is you do because some people are just horrible immature humans and think its ok to do things like i described.

It shouldn't be needed to posted anywhere as LBGTQ+ friendly no more than it needs to be posted that it is human friendly, but it does, not because of that community but because of intolerant immature people outside of the community. So we should be looking at those hostile people as the ones separating people, not a group trying to protect themselves from verbal, mental, emotional abuse.

Serenez

ThorianB wrote: »

Maybe i can help explain why this is asked from LBGTQ+ people as a straight male.

I have been in groups, guilds, alliances, etc in video games in which slurs are used frequently and casually by a hetero. The last really rememberable one of these was a couple years ago in Eve in which one of the alliance fleet commanders would frequently use such slurs on voice during ops. He used them in a derogatory manner casually against everyone. It would have been like using the derogatory N word, as a white person, for everyone.

I think he, and many others that use such slurs, think its ok because they are using them for the general population. So to them, it is ok because they are treating everyone equally. But it doesn't make it ok because it normalizes derogatory use of it and it can still be hurtful to people it isn't directed at.

Being in a social guild that would let something like this slide would not be a pleasant experience for people who that derogatory remark would normally be applied to. While some might think you don't need LBGTQ+ friendly if you don't discuss your intimate preferences, the reality is you do because some people are just horrible immature humans and think its ok to do things like i described.

It shouldn't be needed to posted anywhere as LBGTQ+ friendly no more than it needs to be posted that it is human friendly, but it does, not because of that community but because of intolerant immature people outside of the community. So we should be looking at those hostile people as the ones separating people, not a group trying to protect themselves from verbal, mental, emotional abuse.

Exactly this ^.

I wasn't going to mention it in my previous post however to stand with the poster I am quoting I will declare I am a straight female. Should it theoretically matter ? - No. I do wish to let the community know however that there is support and understanding out there even if we are often in the shadows. We do need to step out into the light and let ourselves be known that we are against such toxic behavior.

Do I specially know what is it like to be on the other end of these specific types of slur?. No. Have I heard them ? - yes. I have seen how these slurs have impacted my friends and others. Are we so lost as a society that people still lack compassion and understanding of others? I do not believe this to be the case. To stand up for another human being and offer compassion really needs to become more normalized in our society in my opinion.

Guilds that advertise they are friendly to groups that have been subjected to these unimaginable, disgraceful, hurtful slurs only offers them a safe haven as much as possible to further avoid this behavior.

One day I imagine a world where we do not have to advertise a guild to be 'friendly' to specific groups. That people are more aware that words have consequences. Will we ever get to such a place? I certainly have hope that we will, however until such a time in the world this occurs, these guilds do offer a save haven for individuals looking for a peaceful and accepting place to play a game they love.

SilverBride

Serenez wrote: »

One day I imagine a world where we do not have to advertise a guild to be 'friendly' to specific groups. That people are more aware that words have consequences. Will we ever get to such a place? I certainly have hope that we will, however until such a time in the world this occurs, these guilds do offer a save haven for individuals looking for a peaceful and accepting place to play a game they love.

[snip] As has been pointed out by others, most guilds don't tolerate toxic behavior from their members and will remove violators. If you find yourself in a rare guild that allows it, then leave.

If someone makes an offhand comment that hurts or offends you, tell them. A lot of comments are made without the person even realizing how hurtful it could be. Educate them about it instead of running away and hiding from it.

[Edited to remove Baiting]

NotaDaedraWorshipper

Three of the guilds I'm in have a lot of LGBTQ+ people in the leadership, but none of the guilds advertise themselves as LGBTQ+ friendly in the recruitment, but very much are. Likely because that should be standard and not be needed to be stated.

Serenez

Unfortunately we are not quite there yet as it the problem still occurs. Yes others may not have experienced this behavior and they are truly blessed to be in guilds that do not tolerate it. It does not however exclude the fact there are guilds out there that do tolerate and accept this vile toxicity. Yes there is an option for people to leave the guild/report/ etc and they should do just that.

Ignoring this issue only diminishes how people feel when they are on the receiving end of this behavior as others do not see that it is still an issue. It clearly still is even though the world is getting better at being intolerant of it.

I mentioned in my post that I personally have not been on the receiving end of these specific slurs as I am a straight female. I have however seen how the continued toxic behavior impacts people. Yes you can simply leave a guild and or report but the hurt has already happened. It cannot be un done to those that it impacts the most.

I do agree with your comment with respect to educating people and why I am making my support of others known.

SilverBride wrote: »

Serenez wrote: »

One day I imagine a world where we do not have to advertise a guild to be 'friendly' to specific groups. That people are more aware that words have consequences. Will we ever get to such a place? I certainly have hope that we will, however until such a time in the world this occurs, these guilds do offer a save haven for individuals looking for a peaceful and accepting place to play a game they love.

We are at that place now. As has been pointed out by others, most guilds don't tolerate toxic behavior from their members and will remove violators. If you find yourself in a rare guild that allows it, then leave.

If someone makes an offhand comment that hurts or offends you, tell them. A lot of comments are made without the person even realizing how hurtful it could be. Educate them about it instead of running away and hiding from it.