Super Chill TES Discord Server - LGBTQ Friendly!

datgladiatah

I have nothing against straight people pls stop victimizing yourself and getting mad that i called out your ignorant inane questioning of something that's been answered in 15 threads and various, very well written articles on LGBT subculture and *** theory, no one has to entertain your desire to answer something you could educate yourself on. Just accept we like being together with each other and move on

omfg i love that argument "I'd be a homophobe if I met you first" I'm just going to let you know you're no ally to your community and every lgbt "friend" you think you have talks behind your back because no one that displays any sincere empathy for us or any victimized class would say that

TheRiversEdge

datgladiatah wrote: »

Anotherone773 wrote: »

datgladiatah wrote: »

Anotherone773 wrote: »

Stefirex wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

And another troll pops their head in. I get this question daily when I advertise an LGBT Friendly guild. We specify it because people in the real world and in the game can be decidedly ANTI-LGBT Friendly. Specifying it makes certain that you know what's expected of you if you join the guild or this server. Doesn't matter how many times you explain this though, people will still ask the same tired question and wonder why you think they're being rude. If you don't like how a guild, game, Discord, TS or other gathering is advertised. DON'T JOIN IT! It's quite simple really.

But this attitude is defeating the purpose. You want understanding and acceptance but call people trolls when they ask a question and are probably trying to understand. Its hard to be accepting when you dont even understand isnt it? Let's see if i can help you understand.

I am a straight person. I dont care about your sex, sexual preference, race, religion, or favorite food. We just play a video game together. I dont see people of " Race X" advertising "Race X friendly guild/chat/etc." I dont see people of " Religion Y" advertising "Religion Y or friends of religion Y" and i dont see straight people advertising "Straight only".

Why dont i see these things but i always see LBGTQ? And furthermore why should anyone care what your preferences are if we are just playing a game? This is what is confusing to straight people. I mean your purpose could just be interpreted as stirring the pot or even baiting people to react. AKA: your just doing it to cause trouble. Its a legit assumption because some people just feel the need to force their beliefs or preferences on everyone, regardless of what that may be in a variety of categories.


And then @MinarasLaure gave an answer the rest of us can understand. As a straight person i see those words as fairly harmless, though extremely childish. And even then it gets on my nerves to listen to someone attempt to use them as insult. And when use against me i usually just say something funny like " Only with you" and laugh it off.

But it does make sense now why LBGTQ players may want an environment in which they dont have to listen to that crap. I even get tired of it as a straight person. I can imagine its far worse for them. See i understand the premise of these "LBGTQ friendly" organizations in games now. I am no longer Q as in questioning.

No insults needed, no defense or justification just an explanation of the logic behind it was enough. That is all.

If you want to erase our existence because it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to join the discussion. You don't get it because you're not a part of what we experience on a daily basis, especially in the gaming community. Other LGBTQ people would rather be with people like them because we 'get' it, we get each other. Straight people, as you demonstrated, simply don't. We'd rather be seen for who we are and be understood because decades of homophobia and trauma makes us seek out similar companionship.

Your post tells me you immediately see all straight people as hostile to you. Read my post again, carefully. Nothing hostile in it. Then read my other post below that one. If i wanted to "erase" your existence, why would i willingly go with my wife to an LBGTQ nightclub?

If you want people to tolerate you, you have to start by tolerating them. That is a two way street. If you treat all straight people with hostility not only do you make them react in a hostile way but you set a bad example and defeat your goal of acceptance. How can i accept someone who is being hostile to me for no apparent reason?

"I am a straight person. I dont care about your sex, sexual preference, race, religion, or favorite food. We just play a video game together. I dont see people of " Race X" advertising "Race X friendly guild/chat/etc." I dont see people of " Religion Y" advertising "Religion Y or friends of religion Y" and i dont see straight people advertising "Straight only"."

This is the definition of "erasure". We are all varied, different, and unique people. You don't get to remove our identity for your political convenience. This is what i mean by erasing our existence. And you going into a gay club doesn't just make you an ally. For all I know you're harassing all the men that think you're there for them and make the mistake of hitting on you when you're clearly uncomfortable with the idea of us having safe spaces for 'us'. How would I know? It's the internet and you just made a bunch of very ignorant statements and you label it as genuine curiosity. What's that concept called? Pretty sure it's a form of gaslighting because it tricks people into answering a question they're not even interested in.

"Why dont i see these things but i always see LBGTQ? And furthermore why should anyone care what your preferences are if we are just playing a game? This is what is confusing to straight people. I mean your purpose could just be interpreted as stirring the pot or even baiting people to react. AKA: your just doing it to cause trouble. Its a legit assumption because some people just feel the need to force their beliefs or preferences on everyone, regardless of what that may be in a variety of categories."

It's really not up to you to understand because you aren't listening, but I did explain it in my previous post. Now you're complaining about me being hostile. I just don't get it. You ever get death threats, slurs thrown, and your entire life thrown up on a whim in federal legislature? It's something you either get or you don't. We're allowed our LGBT guilds and groups without it being needlessly questioned by straight people who are so overtly upset at us making groups around our community that they derail the entire thread over their mood. It's straight up unnecessary and you don't need to do this.

THANK YOU for saying this. Took the words right out of my mouth tbh... we are not being hostile, we are simply frustrated with the amount of ignorance and bigotry we have to deal with on a daily basis... I absolutely do not hate cis/straight people, but I am more wary around them due to the injustices I have faced and will continue to face. You can't blame us for being cautious.

datgladiatah

You know, I get it, this is a forum and everyone is allowed to say whatever they want, whenever. But there's such a thing as off topic and derailing threads. Why exactly does every thread that has to do with LGBT guilds/characters/quests/etc. always get derailed by straight people demanding we start paying attention to them and their repetitive questions about why we'd want a community just for us? Idk Wallace, why does your country club only allow white guys? Why does your church only talk about the Baptist interpretation of the bible? Because there's such a thing as community and culture and it exists even in gaming subcultures. Mostly by example of conversations unnecessarily started in threads like these

I wasn't planning on joining the Discord because I'm a bit of a flake socially, but you know what? I've been looking for LGBT players to play with anyways because heterosexuals make me super uncomfortable in my other guilds with sexual harassment jokes galore...

Stefirex

Anotherone773 wrote: »

Stefirex wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

And another troll pops their head in. I get this question daily when I advertise an LGBT Friendly guild. We specify it because people in the real world and in the game can be decidedly ANTI-LGBT Friendly. Specifying it makes certain that you know what's expected of you if you join the guild or this server. Doesn't matter how many times you explain this though, people will still ask the same tired question and wonder why you think they're being rude. If you don't like how a guild, game, Discord, TS or other gathering is advertised. DON'T JOIN IT! It's quite simple really.

But this attitude is defeating the purpose. You want understanding and acceptance but call people trolls when they ask a question and are probably trying to understand. Its hard to be accepting when you dont even understand isnt it? Let's see if i can help you understand.

You make a lot of assumptions about what I want there. The problem with the question is simple. What business is it of yours or anyone else's why we advertise ourselves the way we do? You aren't the target audience we're seeking. Move along. Have a nice day. You say my attitude is defeating the purpose of your assumptions of what I want and I say my attitude comes from hearing this same tired excuse from straight people who question my right to be who and what I am and be open about it. You don't get to decide how minorities identify themselves. You get to choose how you identify yourself. Period. End of Story.

TheRiversEdge

ZeroXFF wrote: »

datgladiatah wrote: »

Anotherone773 wrote: »

Stefirex wrote: »

117Dios wrote: »

...can I understand why do you have to point out that it is "LGBTQ friendly"? Like, isn't "friendly" enough? And why is it a central focus of the server identity? Am I missing something? Don't want to sound rude but that wording makes some bells ring

And another troll pops their head in. I get this question daily when I advertise an LGBT Friendly guild. We specify it because people in the real world and in the game can be decidedly ANTI-LGBT Friendly. Specifying it makes certain that you know what's expected of you if you join the guild or this server. Doesn't matter how many times you explain this though, people will still ask the same tired question and wonder why you think they're being rude. If you don't like how a guild, game, Discord, TS or other gathering is advertised. DON'T JOIN IT! It's quite simple really.

But this attitude is defeating the purpose. You want understanding and acceptance but call people trolls when they ask a question and are probably trying to understand. Its hard to be accepting when you dont even understand isnt it? Let's see if i can help you understand.

I am a straight person. I dont care about your sex, sexual preference, race, religion, or favorite food. We just play a video game together. I dont see people of " Race X" advertising "Race X friendly guild/chat/etc." I dont see people of " Religion Y" advertising "Religion Y or friends of religion Y" and i dont see straight people advertising "Straight only".

Why dont i see these things but i always see LBGTQ? And furthermore why should anyone care what your preferences are if we are just playing a game? This is what is confusing to straight people. I mean your purpose could just be interpreted as stirring the pot or even baiting people to react. AKA: your just doing it to cause trouble. Its a legit assumption because some people just feel the need to force their beliefs or preferences on everyone, regardless of what that may be in a variety of categories.


And then @MinarasLaure gave an answer the rest of us can understand. As a straight person i see those words as fairly harmless, though extremely childish. And even then it gets on my nerves to listen to someone attempt to use them as insult. And when use against me i usually just say something funny like " Only with you" and laugh it off.

But it does make sense now why LBGTQ players may want an environment in which they dont have to listen to that crap. I even get tired of it as a straight person. I can imagine its far worse for them. See i understand the premise of these "LBGTQ friendly" organizations in games now. I am no longer Q as in questioning.

No insults needed, no defense or justification just an explanation of the logic behind it was enough. That is all.

If you want to erase our existence because it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to join the discussion. You don't get it because you're not a part of what we experience on a daily basis, especially in the gaming community. Other LGBTQ people would rather be with people like them because we 'get' it, we get each other. Straight people, as you demonstrated, simply don't. We'd rather be seen for who we are and be understood because decades of homophobia and trauma makes us seek out similar companionship.

You do realize that YOUR attitude is the reason people are uncomfortable. Nobody is calling for a genocide, so you can rest safely in the knowledge that your existence won't be erased (you couldn't be any more hyperbolic, could you?). And unless you live in a country dominated by a certain religion I can't mention as to not be banned due to flagging by your own allies who care oh so much about LGBTQ issues, homophobia is not causing any more of a trauma than nerdophobia or dorkophobia (because everything has to be a phobia nowadays, it seems). Many of us have experienced bullying and exclusion because of who or what we like to spend our time with. You're not any more special than anyone else, and you do not deserve any more of a special consideration just because you categorized and named the group you perceive as having been victimized.

@TheRiversEdge As for the actual matter at hand, there is such a thing as freedom of association. Every community (and individual) should have the option to accept or reject whoever they want on whatever criteria they want. If you don't want to play with the rest of us, it's your right, and in some cases being an exclusive community is actually beneficial. But judging by what kind of people would be attracted to things that are advertised as LGBTQ, I would be surprised if you were to have a single person join who doesn't belong to the victimhood cult that is always sucking every bit of fun out of everything it touches. But I hope I'm wrong, and I wish you all the best.

You've pretty much missed the entire point of the purpose of my server and what the other user was trying to explain to you. Nowhere have I suggested anyone is excluded from my server, aside from bigots, trolls, and creeps. And also, your comment about homophobia "not causing any more of a trauma than nerdophobia" or whatever, shows me how truly ignorant you are about LGBT issues. As much as I would love to educate you on the matter, Google does a much better job of that. It's far more than just getting bullied sometimes and has 0 to do with being "special". Also yes, you are essentially erasing our identities for your own comfort. It's the equivalent of people who say they "don't see color." You don't get to ignore a significant aspect of a person's identity for your own convenience.

Hippie4927

You know, it's really sad that this thread will probably be locked because of the arguing and negative comments. Anyone who had no interest in joining the OP's community, should have stayed out of the thread. There's plenty of other threads to comment in.

Kreshja

There are French guilds, German guilds, Russian guilds, even French Canadian guilds specifically for French Canadians, also guild advertisements in chats using non-English languages in NA server, why rarely has anyone made a fuss about that or claim that such e.g. French guild is anti-non-French? There are roleplay guilds too and they advertise that they are roleplay guilds, why rarely has anyone made a fuss about that and claim that it is against non-roleplay players? There is a NA server, EU server and Japan server for the game, so each server labeled as such would be against people not from that region? “LGBT friendly” is just an adjective phrase in “LGBT friendly guild”, so if you are ok with any other adjective+noun combination, be it “French guild”, “lover of khajit” or “white straight cis man”, why would you want to waste your energy on “LGBT friendly” unless you are not LGBT friendly?

Sinolai

Maybe it is just becouse I live in a place where being gay is not a big deal but I also find the term "LGBTQ friendly" a bit odd. Shouldn't it be a general expection that what ever you do, race, religion sexual preferences or any other personal charadteristics doesnt matter? The "LGBTQ friendly" term kind of makes the expectation other way around nothing being friendly to something unless specifically labelled as such....
I see the point of having guilds for gay people as a form of support group and usually straight people are also welcome there but if the guild is specifically labelled gay, the discussion is usually also related to the guilds interest ( so people are talking often about their gay life and not everyone is interested to hear that every day). This guild info however says it is a normal gamer guild for game related topics and doesnt discriminate against sexual minorities... or gives some special protection to them that is not given to other minority groups.

Or maybe it is just that OP is from a country / trying to reach countries where sexual discrimination is still a big problem even though racial and religions discrimination is almost non-excistant? (well usually they go hand to hand but still maybe it is possible?) In that case LGBTQ friendly label would tell people they dont have to hide their preferences.... though I bringing them up in a game related topic will be hard to do even if you try

Anyways, I think I pass this guild even though I am gay. I actually like to make gay jokes and tell people how gay it is to do something (so does that actually mean I am not LGBTQ friendly? )

TheRiversEdge

Im gonna be completely honest, I did NOT expect this thread to blow up like it did. All I wanted was to let people know that the server is 100% free of bigotry. Which is a big deal for me personally as someone who happens to be LGBT. Is it exclusive to LGBT members? Absolutely not. But as someone who is part of that community, I wanted to openly keep them in mind.

Carbonised

TheRiversEdge wrote: »

Im gonna be completely honest, I did NOT expect this thread to blow up like it did. All I wanted was to let people know that the server is 100% free of bigotry. Which is a big deal for me personally as someone who happens to be LGBT. Is it exclusive to LGBT members? Absolutely not. But as someone who is part of that community, I wanted to openly keep them in mind.

It's a pity that threads like these always go down in this way.

Someone makes a post that mentions they're inclusive to qu*er people, and immediately it's flooded by bu*thurt people who wants to bait, troll, flame, pose passive aggressive comments disguised as "questions", or just quibs designed to be provocative.

The ESO forum rules /specifically/ state that if you have nothing significant to contribute in a thread, you are free to not comment on it and simply leave it be.

The reactions in this thread is /exactly/ why some people advertise their guilds or channels as que*r friendly or inclusive, exactly as to not having to deal with this BS all the friggin time.

TheRiversEdge

@Carbonised Completely agree!! Like this is honestly ridiculous and completely unnecessary. A lot of people in this thread have shown themselves to be great examples for the types of people I DONT want in my server.

red_emu

I love how everyone jumps to OPs throat. As a member of LGBT community myself I find ESO very friendly and never ever had any problems. Most players have fantastic sense of humour and don't tend to offend anyone. Please keep in mind though, there is a lot of young people out there who aren't able to 'come out' in the real world, so I salute OP for creating a safe space for them where they can also enjoy being a part of the ESO community. Not everyone will get offended by being called homophobic names but some people have experienced so much hatered in real life that they actively seek out a safe space community. I for one will join myself too, even if it's just to talk to people who feel the need to talk about their problems .

117Dios

I just asked in the first page why LGBT friendly and not just friendly since every person has value for me, and I get called a homophobe, white cis whatever and get told that I threaten your safespace.

I'm sorry, I made my opinion on the kind of people that should join this social group, and I want nothing to do with it.
You people don't even know my sexual preferences lol

MrGraves

Oakmontowls_ESO wrote: »

Honestly after reading this thread, you all need thicker skin. As evidenced by the rules of your discord, you do not want people of differing opinions as that would cause discourse. That leads to echo chambers and less understanding of different views. This is why I disagree with people who want their community to only be positive. Without conflict we can not adapt our opinions and views.

The idea is that we want a place that for once we DON'T have to have discourse. We get plenty of it else where and we're on here, ESO, to have fun. It's not that we don't like people who like different things and have different interests, We just want a place with minimal conflict. There's not much reason for us to be welcoming to others bullying us so we can "learn from their opinion" we literally just don't want people to be discriminating on our server and to be nice. In my opinion, why people say "LGBT" friendly is because the LGBT people do get discriminated against. There's also rules to not be racist or sexist as well.

But usually people are wanting to say insensitive things to us and when told that it is kind of offensive they are wholly unapologetic, and sometimes there's a point you really don't want to deal with that. Because it's the kind of conflict where that person doing things like that is not trying to see your side or understand you, they don't care, they want to be mean because it entertains them. Why should anyone have to put up with those kinds of abusive people? in a space meant to be, well, Chill, the idea is to have people who WANT to get along and want to be accepting of others, not attacking them.

Wrubius_Coronaria

@TheRiversEdge your guild / community is only present on pc NA?

Nevermind, I just noticed it's only a discord, not guild.

Shardan4968

It never cease to amaze how many people think that they know everything, yet they don't know ***.

DieAlteHexe

I likely won't be alive to see it but have hope that someday, this sort of thing just won't bloody matter or at least those who have issues with others who don't think/look/act/feel exactly as they do become the only minority.

Kuum-bah-bleedin'-ya.

Ocean_Charlie9

I'll join, that's for sure! I want to meet more trans (and other lgtbiq members too, ofc) in this game

JD2013

I mix with everyone and feel no need to isolate myself to just an "LGBTQ friendly place. "

The few times I have delved into such places, I have received more judgement from said groups as opposed to when I mix with my RL friends, in RL places etc etc.

Great places in theory.

Edit: Although it would be good to keep the discussion respectful and on topic

Vanya

Hey guys By Ysmir! Chill it down xD Or it shall end with eventual the Thread Lock {It leads to it{ L,B,G or T? Why does it matter as long as one behaves and its high spirited with a vigour and love for ESO?! Leave it. It's not worth of energy

Join and tell us about your travels or Who is your favourite Deadric prince , or what have eaten for dinner! Save the hate for Dremora! People have different needs, desires and sex orientation! I have my views , but I am wise enough not to worry or bother with it,Especially not drain my energy on arguing with people I'll never even meet in my rlife xD I care not what do you do outside of the game, Keep your attitude in check and we are fine.

The Original Poster was direct and honest. The rules are clear, Join and accept them or simply leave, It does not give you right to abuse or harass certain individuals, The problem isn't in OP, nor he is a troll. The issue lies in the hate , envy of particular players being annoyed or obviously incredibly upset by "LGBTQ Friendly! add on" That is the flame one shall receive for being friendly and honest.

Worry not,Ignore and move on. You shall always find someone who is interested!

Stay positive.

ZOS_Ragnar

We have removed several posts that were inappropriate and causing disruption. Please avoid turning a thread about a discord community into a debate and discussion on real-word issues. The forum is meant to be a friendly and welcoming atmosphere for all people. Please take a moment before you post to consider if what you are about to say will add any value. If what you are going to say is going to cause unnecessarily conflict, it is best if you don't post it at all.

Peekachu99

It’s pretty bizarre that people here need someone to explain to them that LGBTQ2 people are currently and historically marginalized and might want a place—not a meme “safe space”—where they can simply be themselves, with likeminded cis/ straight/ ***/ questioning people, and not be worried about homophobic, sexist or bigoted attacks.

Anyway, great Discord channel. Will join later.

greylox

Sounds cool, I'm asexual (does that fall into a group? Doesn't matter really tho ) but everyone needs a safe space etc. I found ESO people to be generally adult about stuff, the leader of our guild is gay and his boyfriend plays too which is great, always like playing with couples.

Jade1986

TheRiversEdge wrote: »

Im gonna be completely honest, I did NOT expect this thread to blow up like it did. All I wanted was to let people know that the server is 100% free of bigotry. Which is a big deal for me personally as someone who happens to be LGBT. Is it exclusive to LGBT members? Absolutely not. But as someone who is part of that community, I wanted to openly keep them in mind.

Always happens, bigots see something they dont like, come in, make a big deal out of it, and then play victim after people blow up on them.

Also, can you send me the discord address so I can add it with the app?

Wrubius_Coronaria

@Jade1986

The discord address is in the first post of this thread.

Jade1986

Caitsith wrote: »

@Jade1986

The discord address is in the first post of this thread.

You know what smarty pants!? xD I didnt even think about that . xD.

: hides :

Drachenfier

I think more people should be like me, and just not care.

Feanor

Jade1986 wrote: »

TheRiversEdge wrote: »

Im gonna be completely honest, I did NOT expect this thread to blow up like it did. All I wanted was to let people know that the server is 100% free of bigotry. Which is a big deal for me personally as someone who happens to be LGBT. Is it exclusive to LGBT members? Absolutely not. But as someone who is part of that community, I wanted to openly keep them in mind.

Always happens, bigots see something they dont like, come in, make a big deal out of it, and then play victim after people blow up on them.

Also, can you send me the discord address so I can add it with the app?

Frankly that works for the other way round too. You don’t have to be a bigot to just not want to read about other people’s preferences. But if you state that you are being called a bigot or something worse. Freedom and tolerance isn’t a one-way street.

I wish the super-chill Discord great success and all my best. But I can understand if someone doesn’t like that sort of advertising in a gaming forum.

Jade1986

Feanor wrote: »

Jade1986 wrote: »

TheRiversEdge wrote: »

Im gonna be completely honest, I did NOT expect this thread to blow up like it did. All I wanted was to let people know that the server is 100% free of bigotry. Which is a big deal for me personally as someone who happens to be LGBT. Is it exclusive to LGBT members? Absolutely not. But as someone who is part of that community, I wanted to openly keep them in mind.

Always happens, bigots see something they dont like, come in, make a big deal out of it, and then play victim after people blow up on them.

Also, can you send me the discord address so I can add it with the app?

Frankly that works for the other way round too. You don’t have to be a bigot to just not want to read about other people’s preferences. But if you state that you are being called a bigot or something worse. Freedom and tolerance isn’t a one-way street.

I wish the super-chill Discord great success and all my best. But I can understand if someone doesn’t like that sort of advertising in a gaming forum.

Bigotry is defined as the UNREASONABLE intolerance of others views. Being intolerant of someone who is getting on people for just living is not bigotry. It is one hundred percent reasoanble. If you dont want to read about it, dont open the post. If you opened the post, clearly, you wanted to read about it.

Ackwalan

ZOS_RyanM wrote: »

We have removed several posts that were inappropriate and causing disruption. Please avoid turning a thread about a discord community into a debate and discussion on real-word issues. The forum is meant to be a friendly and welcoming atmosphere for all people. Please take a moment before you post to consider if what you are about to say will add any value. If what you are going to say is going to cause unnecessarily conflict, it is best if you don't post it at all.

What a perfect example demonstrating the problems of saying a guild is LGBT friendly. Anything less then praise, is considered inappropriate. Thus creating a hostile environment.