Fake lore thread. post interesting fake lore here

Aliyavana

This is the thread to post fake lore that sounds like it could be true but is interesting either way.

Female bosmer use their cuteness to lure in outsiders into their village and then the unsuspecting outsider is then knocked out and then may wake to see himself being consumed by a horde of adorable lil bosmers. When a bosmer eat their first victim then they grow antlers and antler size is dependent on how many victims they have eaten.

MythicEmperor

The Argonians were plotting a takeover of Tamriel in hopes of bringing civilized culture to chaos. That was until House Telvanni scryers discovered the plot, and they nobly defended themselves against the savages. Too kind to slaughter them, they took the anarchists in as prisoners, feeding them and giving them shelter in exchange for small responsibilities.

Nothing better could happen to an Argonian than enslavement.

Ankael07

Talos is a god

DocFrost72

Elves can ingest the flesh of the living or deceased to gain memories of the individual they consume. They cannot choose this memory, rather it is entirely based on the amount of the individual consumed and relevance to the consumer.

TheNuminous1

nords mate with animals.

oh wait you said fake lore.

ArcVelarian

Behold as the Scrolls have foretold,
That when deep knowledge begets God's brass and Demon's wrath,
When doom assails the sunset and eight become nine,
When the keening of sundered Heart is silenced,
When the blood of the old world shrouds the moons in darkness thrice,
When the dragon of the north comes forth and the first-born is devoured beyond the grave,
The eternal prisoner awakens, no longer bound.

KeiruNicrom

Khajiit are the product of an experiment by aldmer that wanted to communicate with animals more easily by becoming part animal themselves. The first success was with a cat and was reproduced multiple times. This soon became a fetish and the once temporary change became permanent causing them to be exiled. The cat aldmer soon discovered moon sugar and their origins became lost to time as the originals overdosed on skooma

Ajaxandriel

Ankael07 wrote: »

Talos is a god

Whaoh...! Level of fakeness : divinity
You broke the game already

PrinceShroob

All Telvanni are really two goblins in a wizard robe.

Aliyavana

MythicEmperor wrote: »

The Argonians were plotting a takeover of Tamriel in hopes of bringing civilized culture to chaos. That was until House Telvanni scryers discovered the plot, and they nobly defended themselves against the savages. Too kind to slaughter them, they took the anarchists in as prisoners, feeding them and giving them shelter in exchange for small responsibilities.

Nothing better could happen to an Argonian than enslavement.

"Nothing better could happen to an Argonian than enslavement"
That's real lore tho

Bladerunner1

Bosmer are secretly plotting the most diabolical scheme ever constructed in Tamriel. All the diplomats, leaders and almost all the chefs of Tamriel are really Bosmer wearing stilts inside man and mer mechanical suits. They took years of voice acting and cultural lessons beneath the bowels of their great tree to prepare for their biggest moment.

Little by little they've been adding green pact friendly ingredients to everyone's food. All the basic food groups like flitter flies, crawleys, wigglers, honey and dairy alongside other things that had never been considered meat by other cultures. At night they crawl out of their man suits and sneak into bedrooms among the sleepers to sing lullabies about the great and powerful Y'ffre and the terrifying ouze.

Soon the fruits of the tiny elf labor will be ripened and the great transition will begin. As Y'ffre's influence grows, so too will her massive forest. When the Green hits critical mass, the thick mass of trees that is the Valenwood will spread across the entirety of Tamriel all in one night. The great Boichification is nigh.

Cadbury

John Cena created Nirn

eso_nya

The dwemer never vanished. Tamriel/nirn is their version of the clockwork city, where they trapped everyone else.

Yuls

There's a secret hidden dog race, currently preparing for a bloody endless war with the cat folk...




(Don't blame me, a certain well-known khajiit came up with introducing a dog race. She will be sooooo happy to read this here. )

Vhozek

Khajiit make terrible pie and nobody (not even Daedra) like Khajiit pie.
Even people who don't know about The Elder Scrolls don't like Khajiit pie. It's been a hot topic all over the internet these past few weeks.

Vhozek

Yuls wrote: »

There's a secret hidden dog race, currently preparing for a bloody endless war with the cat folk...




(Don't blame me, a certain well-known khajiit came up with introducing a dog race. She will be sooooo happy to read this here. )

There is already a dog race, but they're ancient and/or extremely rare.

Ajaxandriel

eso_nya wrote: »

The dwemer never vanished. Tamriel/nirn is their version of the clockwork city, where they trapped everyone else.

I love this one haha

In classical lore a race called Et'Ada performed this, after all ...
Who knows how much stages of inception have been performed ...
Are Oblivion Planes, the Elder Scrolls "Limbo" ?

Yuls

Vhozek wrote: »

Yuls wrote: »

There's a secret hidden dog race, currently preparing for a bloody endless war with the cat folk...




(Don't blame me, a certain well-known khajiit came up with introducing a dog race. She will be sooooo happy to read this here. )

There is already a dog race, but they're ancient and/or extremely rare.

Aren't they fox-like? I don't think fox-like will be enough to annoy make that khajiit happy...

UmbilicalSyllables

All of Nirn's lore is fake, because dragon breaks.

Whenever a dragon break occurs, a new Elder Scroll appears. However, no one ever sees it because it is subsequently eaten by Akatosh, who goes berserk and causes another dragon break, which may not actually exist until many centuries later. Unfortunately, this is beyond the assumed omnipotence of the true god of Nirn. No one knows his or her identity, but it is said that 1) he occupies a solitary room and decides the fate of Nirn while staring into a rectangular, projected image of it, and 2) it's most likely an Imperial, Nord, or Redguard.

MythicEmperor

aliyavana wrote: »

MythicEmperor wrote: »

The Argonians were plotting a takeover of Tamriel in hopes of bringing civilized culture to chaos. That was until House Telvanni scryers discovered the plot, and they nobly defended themselves against the savages. Too kind to slaughter them, they took the anarchists in as prisoners, feeding them and giving them shelter in exchange for small responsibilities.

Nothing better could happen to an Argonian than enslavement.

"Nothing better could happen to an Argonian than enslavement"
That's real lore tho

One must weave fact and fiction together to make a story believable.

Ajaxandriel

UmbilicalSyllables wrote: »

No one knows his or her identity, but it is said that 1) he occupies a solitary room and decides the fate of Nirn while staring into a rectangular, projected image of it, and 2) it's most likely an Imperial, Nord, or Redguard.

You know too much!
I must zero-sum you by revealing the secret code that explains the whole Aurbis:

Anu = 0 ; Padomay = 1

Shardan4968

Ankael07 wrote: »

Talos is a god

Just to clarify, If Talos wasn't a god/divinity, Martim Septim wouldn't open the portal to Mankar Camoran's Paradise (he needed blood (artefact) of the divine which was Tiber's cuirass) and Champion of Cyrodiil wouldn't travel to Coloured Rooms (using Talos blessing) in order to defeat Umaril the Unfeathered. Fake lore is Altmer's ideology and mentality.

Vanthras79

Did you hear ze Dunmer wear bright yellow robes for zhere ceremonies? (See Rigurt the Brash)

Vanthras79

Windhelm has the best Corn-loon-licker ever!

gepe87

eso_nya wrote: »

The dwemer never vanished. Tamriel/nirn is their version of the clockwork city, where they trapped everyone else.

What a plot twist!

Nightfall12

You can tell the age of Khajiit by counting the spots on its stomach

Ajaxandriel

Shardan4968 wrote: »

Ankael07 wrote: »

Talos is a god

Just to clarify, If Talos wasn't a god/divinity, Martim Septim wouldn't open the portal to Mankar Camoran's Paradise (he needed blood (artefact) of the divine which was Tiber's cuirass) and Champion of Cyrodiil wouldn't travel to Coloured Rooms (using Talos blessing) in order to defeat Umaril the Unfeathered. Fake lore is Altmer's ideology and mentality.

The Altmer who understand the Old Ways know how far your statement is biased.

ArchMikem

aliyavana wrote: »

This is the thread to post fake lore that sounds like it could be true but is interesting either way.

Female bosmer use their cuteness to lure in outsiders into their village

You certainly do have an obsession of the Bosmer. But that's okay, I kinda obsess over the Khajiit myself.

Here's my own thread that relates to this.

https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/382856/head-canon-fanon-snow-khajiit

Aliyavana

ArchMikem wrote: »

aliyavana wrote: »

This is the thread to post fake lore that sounds like it could be true but is interesting either way.

Female bosmer use their cuteness to lure in outsiders into their village

You certainly do have an obsession of the Bosmer. But that's okay, I kinda obsess over the Khajiit myself.

Here's my own thread that relates to this.

https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/382856/head-canon-fanon-snow-khajiit

you can never have too many bosmer!

ArcVelarian

Jacen_Veron

C0DA.