Can someone see when an unfriended player logs in?

SilverBride · July 29

Can someone see when an unfriended player logs in? I ask because the other day an acquaintance who I was not friended with and was not in the same guild with immediately whispered me the second I logged in. This player is a friend of a friend but someone I don't really know. I should have asked him how he knew I'd logged in but I was just a little taken aback.

Is there an add-on or some other way to know this?

Ardriel · July 29

That player might have been trying to whisper to you regularly. Then it just happened to work by chance, right after you logged in.
I've actually experienced something similar myself: shortly after I went online, I was invited to a group by a player who wasn't on my friend list or in any of my guilds. I had been in a random dungeon with this player a few days earlier, and he must have remembered my name.
I don't know if there's an add-on for that. Would something like that even be legal?

Usureki · July 29

Are you using any addons that could check your activity, like BeamMeUp?

Are you in the same guild?

KalevaLaine · July 29

I also think the whisper was just a coincidence. Maybe the player was standing right next to you when you logged in. Or maybe he remembered your name from somewhere else...
I was just looking for some add-ons, but they only work if you're friends.

Gabriel_H · July 29

Is it possible you had them on your friends list at one point? IIRC removal is only one-way.

Edit: And the API for addons on wouldn't allow this. It would have to go through the Guild Membership or Friends List.

heaven13 · July 29

Gabriel_H wrote: »

Is it possible you had them on your friends list at one point? IIRC removal is only one-way.

Edit: And the API for addons on wouldn't allow this. It would have to go through the Guild Membership or Friends List.

Removal is both ways. I have a friend who is perpetually at 100 and constantly has to make room for other people so he does a clean up of inactive players. During one of my breaks, I was removed from his list and, in turn, him from mine.

SilverBride · July 29

To answer these questions:

I don't use BeamMeUp.
We were not in the same guild.
We don't share a discord server.
They couldn't have been next to me when I logged in because I was in my house.

He did know my name because we have a mutual friend. He met me when I was at my friend's house the day before seeing how he was decorating his Rogue's Refuge. We are all housing enthusiasts and it was a housing related whisper he sent.

I'm fine with the fact that he whispered me. I just can't figure out how he knew. It didn't seem like coincidence because he didn't just say hello or anything to see if I was there. He went right into a detailed whisper.

YffresTrill · July 29

The only thing I can think of save for it being a coincidence or someone else telling him is that if you share a Discord server, depending on your settings, he may have seen you come online there.

Frankly any reasonable explanation is somewhat unnerving in my opinion, but if it doesn't bother you then I guess it is fine. But it seems to hint at some sort of stalking behaviour.

Syldras · July 29

SilverBride wrote: »

I don't use BeamMeUp.
We were not in the same guild.
They couldn't have been next to me when I logged in because I was in my house.

I remember a similar, but even stranger situation. I participated on that yearly Christmas gift exchange thread some years ago, and suddenly some random player showed up in my house (unannounced, not on my friends list, no one I knew at all), perhaps even directly next to my character (I didn't notice at first because I was sorting stuff in my inventory), to trade items. Which I didn't mind at all, but I remember I had been very confused how this person was a) able to know I was in game, b) able to know I was at that location. The only addon I had was Master Merchant (if at all, it was years ago), so it can't be that.

SilverBride · July 29

YffresTrill wrote: »

The only thing I can think of save for it being a coincidence or someone else telling him is that if you share a Discord server, depending on your settings, he may have seen you come online there.

Frankly any reasonable explanation is somewhat unnerving in my opinion, but if it doesn't bother you then I guess it is fine. But it seems to hint at some sort of stalking behaviour.

We also don't share a discord server.

I don't think there was any bad intent. I just can't figure out how they knew the second I logged in

DenverRalphy · July 29

Have you tried just asking them?

SilverBride · July 29

I had just met them and they are friends with a good friend of mine. I didn't want them to feel like I thought they had done something wrong.

Syldras · July 29

Is there some kind of "port to player" command that can be used through the chat box just by using a player's name/tag? I know there's some command to port to every house if one knows the house id.

Arunei · July 29

Was your mutual friend on at the time you got on? How long did it take the other person to actually message you? Could it be possible your mutual friend knew that person had something they wanted to message you about and let them know when you'd logged on?

SilverBride · July 29

Arunei wrote: »

Was your mutual friend on at the time you got on? How long did it take the other person to actually message you? Could it be possible your mutual friend knew that person had something they wanted to message you about and let them know when you'd logged on?

My mutual friend wasn't on, nor was he in discord at the time. The whisper was almost immediate.

SeaGtGruff · July 29

SilverBride wrote: »

Arunei wrote: »

Was your mutual friend on at the time you got on? How long did it take the other person to actually message you? Could it be possible your mutual friend knew that person had something they wanted to message you about and let them know when you'd logged on?

My mutual friend wasn't on, nor was he in discord at the time. The whisper was almost immediate.

I was going to suggest that he may have been standing beside you when you logged in, recognized you, and decided to send you a whisper, but you say you were in your house, so I guess that's out.

I was then going to suggest that your mutual friend may have seen you log in and mentioned it to him, but you say that your mutual friend wasn't logged in, so I guess that might be out, too-- unless your mutual friend was indeed logged in but was in offline mode at the time.

The only other possibility I can think to suggest is that maybe he knows someone else who's either on your friends list or in one of the guilds you're in, and they were online at the time and mentioned to him that you'd just logged in.

SilverBride · July 29

I really don't know. But if I find out I will let everyone know!

baratron · July 31

SilverBride wrote: »

To answer these questions:

I don't use BeamMeUp.
We were not in the same guild.
We don't share a discord server.
They couldn't have been next to me when I logged in because I was in my house.

He did know my name because we have a mutual friend. He met me when I was at my friend's house the day before seeing how he was decorating his Rogue's Refuge. We are all housing enthusiasts and it was a housing related whisper he sent.

I'm fine with the fact that he whispered me. I just can't figure out how he knew. It didn't seem like coincidence because he didn't just say hello or anything to see if I was there. He went right into a detailed whisper.

Have you ever spoken to each other on Discord?

I get a pop-up on the screen when I'm running ESO and a friend (defined here as anyone I've ever PMed) logs in while "visible".

SilverBride · July 31

baratron wrote: »

Have you ever spoken to each other on Discord?

I get a pop-up on the screen when I'm running ESO and a friend (defined here as anyone I've ever PMed) logs in while "visible".

I only know who he is through my friend. We never spoke through discord.

Reginald_leBlem · July 31

Was the whisper actually for you or what is for someone with a similar name? I've accidentally whispered the wrong person, both from clicking the wrong name on my friends or guild list, and from manually typing a name incorrectly.

If not, literally just ask him how he knew you were online.

SilverBride · July 31

I had just met the guy and didn't want to be like "HOW did you know I was online?!"

BardokRedSnow · July 31

SilverBride wrote: »

I had just met them and they are friends with a good friend of mine. I didn't want them to feel like I thought they had done something wrong.

With the amount of threads you make about your personal interactions with players I wouldn't be surprised if they stumble on these threads. That would definitely make them feel they did something wrong lol.

SilverBride · July 31

BardokRedSnow wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

I had just met them and they are friends with a good friend of mine. I didn't want them to feel like I thought they had done something wrong.

With the amount of threads you make about your personal interactions with players I wouldn't be surprised if they stumble on these threads. That would definitely make them feel they did something wrong lol.

Just how many threads have I made about my personal interactions with players? I did discuss my recent guild issue, although I didn't mention the name of the guild or the player involved. And that's the only one I remember. So the answer is one.

This thread isn't about the player, or what we talked about, or how we interacted. It's about how it was possible for an unfriended player to know the second I logged in. I thought there may be an add-on or something that does this and that is what I am asking about.