Kicked from guild I was a member of for almost 4 years because of this

SilverBride · July 25

I was just kicked from a guild I was a member of for almost 4 years because I told the GM of one of our three sister guilds that I thought it was inappropriate that one of the GMs was linking a GoFundMe page asking for money in our Discord again. She didn't like that and instead of talking about it just kicked me.

I was one of the top sellers and never had any issues the entire time I was in the guild. In fact I was pretty quiet in guild chat and mostly only chatted if someone was asking for help with something.

If anyone was in this guild with me just know what can happen if you express an opinion.

SilverBride · July 25

I would never return after this, but just wanted my fellow members to know why I was no longer a member.

hiyde · July 25

As long as:

a) they are not violating ESO's TOS

and

b) they are not violating Discord's TOS

It's their guild, they can link to whatever they want. You have every right to feel however you want to feel about it and let them know. If they decide they don't want you in the guild any longer, it's their right to remove you. None of us know (or need to know) if anything else factored into their decision.

Unless you create and run your own guild, you are at the mercy of the decisions of the person(s) who do own it. I think anyone in a guild is aware of that.

I think most guilds strive to be fair in situations like this, but not all do and that's the beautiful thing about choice. You're free to find a guild that better fits your behavioral standards.

SilverBride · July 25

I realize this but I think my fellow guildies should know that this could happen to them too if they express an opinion that this one GM doesn't like. Without any discussion.

I went to them to see what they thought about it and if the link could be removed but was not given a chance to say anything else and discuss it.

It was a move made out of anger and that is not how a GM should handle any situation.

SilverBride · July 25

I am not sure though how Discord feels about linking GoFundMe pages. Does anyone have any information on that?

hiyde · July 25

SilverBride wrote: »

I am not sure though how Discord feels about linking GoFundMe pages. Does anyone have any information on that?

Per google:

" it is generally okay to link to GoFundMe pages on Discord, but it depends entirely on the specific rules of the server you are in. Discord does not have a global ban on crowdfunding links, but individual server owners and moderators dictate their own policies."

SilverBride · July 25

Ok maybe they would have just said "We find this fine and there is no rule against it." and left it at that. What they did was a major overreaction.

SilverBride · July 25

Honestly I hadn't been participating in contests and things like I used to for awhile now, mostly because it seemed members of the same clique seemed to win a lot, even if they didn't meet the challenge. And it was this same GM that was running these contests.

So it was probably time for a new guild and a new atmosphere anyway.

It was just how it was done that I find unacceptable.

BardokRedSnow · July 25

Why is this a thread, take it to your friends/ex guild mates on discord.

SilverBride · July 25

BardokRedSnow wrote: »

Why is this a thread, take it to your friends/ex guild mates on discord.

I was kicked from our discord and I didn't have a lot of my guildmates that I spoke with on my friend's list because we saw each other in guild chat anyway. I know several members read the forums and hopefully would see my message.

LPapirius · July 25

SilverBride wrote: »

I was just kicked from a guild I was a member of for almost 4 years because I told the GM of one of our three sister guilds that I thought it was inappropriate that one of the GMs was linking a GoFundMe page asking for money in our Discord again. She didn't like that and instead of talking about it just kicked me.

I was one of the top sellers and never had any issues the entire time I was in the guild. In fact I was pretty quiet in guild chat and mostly only chatted if someone was asking for help with something.

If anyone was in this guild with me just know what can happen if you express an opinion.

If they didn't tell you that was the reason for being kicked how can you know for sure that was the reason?

SilverBride · July 25

LPapirius wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

I was just kicked from a guild I was a member of for almost 4 years because I told the GM of one of our three sister guilds that I thought it was inappropriate that one of the GMs was linking a GoFundMe page asking for money in our Discord again. She didn't like that and instead of talking about it just kicked me.

I was one of the top sellers and never had any issues the entire time I was in the guild. In fact I was pretty quiet in guild chat and mostly only chatted if someone was asking for help with something.

If anyone was in this guild with me just know what can happen if you express an opinion.

If they didn't tell you that was the reason for being kicked how can you know for sure that was the reason?

Oh but they did. They went off on me about how they were his friend then didn't give me a chance to reply or make any attempt to discuss it. Just kick, kick.

Aislinna · July 26

Dear Diary, Today I told my side of the story to my forum.

SilverBride · July 26

I just wanted the members I was unable to reach in game to know what happened.

AScarlato · July 26

None of us know what relationships exist between your guild members. Some smaller guilds are tight-knit and family-like and maybe this wouldn't be weird for them.

I personally would find a GoFundMe in a larger guild off-putting, especially if it is to raise money for the GM and if that was the culture I'd probably leave on my own. But just like I can leave on my own, they are free to view your messages as problematic and possibly a source of drama in the guild and take it upon themselves to remove you to minimize that.

SilverBride · July 26

It wasn't a small intimite guild. This was one of 3 sister guilds with a lot of members, all 3 using the same discord. I was only in the one, though. I've never created any drama in this guild. In fact I was thanked for diffusing situations in guild chat a couple of times in the past.

Like I previously mentioned, I rarely talk in gchat except to offer help. Also, I never ever discuss forum issues in game.

If this GM didn't find this GoFundMe link problematic all they had to do was say so and I would have dropped it. But instead they went overboard not even considering all I have contributed over the years.

SilverBride · July 26

Just to add, they weren't the GM of the particular guild I was in. They were just an officer there.

AlienatedGoat · July 26

I'd consider it a bullet dodged and move on.

SilverBride · July 26

AlienatedGoat wrote: »

I'd consider it a bullet dodged and move on.

That is a very good way to look at it.

Elvenheart · July 26

I am in the same guild, and I am so sorry to hear about what happened. I wish you been given the opportunity to explain your views better and the response you immediately received had been more impartial and less sudden and emotional. I know me and some others are going to miss you, and thank you for all the times you helped me. 😢

AScarlato · July 26

Going to have to agree sounds like a bullet dodged. It's just unfortunate when leadership makes what I view as terrible decisions with it's membership.

I'm only assuming if someone posted a GoFundMe then something bad had happened and they may be very emotional and not receptive to further criticism for it. Not saying I agree with even posting it to begin with in an MMO guild unless you are friends with all the members but just guessing.

Does feel bad to lose a guild after 4 years over what must feel like a weird power trip and lack of communication though.

SilverBride · July 26

Elvenheart wrote: »

I am in the same guild, and I am so sorry to hear about what happened. I wish you been given the opportunity to explain your views better and the response you immediately received had been more impartial and less sudden and emotional. I know me and some others are going to miss you, and thank you for all the times you helped me. 😢

Thanks for your support. It's greatly appreciated and there were some good times we were able to share over the years.

I wasn't given the chance to even reply and accept that they were ok with the link. It was just immediate anger that I found it inappropriate. All the years of trading and donating and helping where I could meant nothing just because I thought asking the members for money wasn't appropriate.

I reached out to several members because I think they need to know what happened.

Luneca · July 26

I am glad I don't join guilds. If I do, it's hard to resist breaking them from the inside out. You're a kind person. If it had ben me, I would have prepared a long and protracted mind game for them.

SilverBride · July 26

AScarlato wrote: »

Going to have to agree sounds like a bullet dodged. It's just unfortunate when leadership makes what I view as terrible decisions with it's membership.

I'm only assuming if someone posted a GoFundMe then something bad had happened and they may be very emotional and not receptive to further criticism for it. Not saying I agree with even posting it to begin with in an MMO guild unless you are friends with all the members but just guessing.

Does feel bad to lose a guild after 4 years over what must feel like a weird power trip and lack of communication though.

I was stunned to put it mildly. I gave my opinion and said I didn't know what they thought or what I expected them to do about it, which I expected to lead to a conversation that could have resolved the issue in short order. I had no intention to argue or demand it be removed or anything. It just made me uncomfortable that this same GM asked for money from us twice that I know of just because we play the same game in the same guild.

AScarlato · July 26

SilverBride wrote: »

AScarlato wrote: »

Going to have to agree sounds like a bullet dodged. It's just unfortunate when leadership makes what I view as terrible decisions with it's membership.

I'm only assuming if someone posted a GoFundMe then something bad had happened and they may be very emotional and not receptive to further criticism for it. Not saying I agree with even posting it to begin with in an MMO guild unless you are friends with all the members but just guessing.

Does feel bad to lose a guild after 4 years over what must feel like a weird power trip and lack of communication though.

I was stunned to put it mildly. I gave my opinion and said I didn't know what they thought or what I expected them to do about it, which I expected to lead to a conversation that could have resolved the issue in short order. I had no intention to argue or demand it be removed or anything. It just made me uncomfortable that this same GM asked for money from us twice that I know of just because we play the same game in the same guild.

I gave you an "Awesome" as there isn't really a good option to respond in support, but I find Go Fund Mes as an officer in a large group of players you barely know is something I'd be uncomfortable with too.

I don't think you should lose a guild slot you've been in for 4 years over without the courtesy of a conversation. But I learned sometimes officers and GMs can be really weird people and if people like that are in power, you are better off in another guild since you can't control weird personalities having power.

I was once removed from a guild by an officer because they thought I was privileged because I said people should give professional notice when quitting jobs. Was floored that was the reason. A couple members told me that the entire guild of hundreds of people imploded and completely disbanded a month later due to the officers and I did get a smile out of that.

SilverBride · July 26

AScarlato wrote: »

I gave you an "Awesome" as there isn't really a good option to respond in support, but I find Go Fund Mes as an officer in a large group of players you barely know is something I'd be uncomfortable with too.

I don't think you should lose a guild slot you've been in for 4 years over without the courtesy of a conversation. But I learned sometimes officers and GMs can be really weird people and if people like that are in power, you are better off in another guild since you can't control weird personalities having power.

I was once removed from a guild by an officer because they thought I was privileged because I said people should give professional notice when quitting jobs. Was floored that was the reason. A couple members told me that the entire guild of hundreds of people imploded and completely disbanded a month later due to the officers and I did get a smile out of that.

I am glad someone else understands where I am coming from. What disturbs me most is I wasn't even being argumentive. I was just stating how it made me feel and starting a conversation to resolve the issue.

NoticeMeArkay · July 26

SilverBride wrote: »

I would never return after this, but just wanted my fellow members to know why I was no longer a member.

You could have just whispered them.
Or send an ingame mail.
Or used discord.

SilverBride wrote: »

I just wanted the members I was unable to reach in game to know what happened.

Should they by chance stumble over a forum post that doesn't link them to assure visiblity. Sure.

SilverBride · July 26

NoticeMeArkay wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

I would never return after this, but just wanted my fellow members to know why I was no longer a member.

You could have just whispered them.
Or send an ingame mail.
Or used discord.

I did whisper some.
I did send some in-game mail.
I couldn't use discord because my access was removed.

NoticeMeArkay wrote: »

SilverBride wrote: »

I just wanted the members I was unable to reach in game to know what happened.

Should they by chance stumble over a forum post that doesn't link them to assure visiblity. Sure.

Members have seen my posts and mentioned them so I'm sure some will.

Barto92 · July 26

This is a private guild dispute, not a game issue. The official forums aren't the appropriate place to air personal conflicts that the community cannot verify or resolve.

The author explicitly states that one of the purposes of this thread is to reach guild members who may read the official forums after losing access to the guild's Discord. That makes this thread a means of continuing a private guild dispute through the official forums, rather than discussing the game itself.

Weesacs · July 26

OP, unfortunately there are people with very poor social and communication skills who end up in positions of authority, and some of them abuse that authority. The more mature approach would have been to speak to you about the issue instead of simply kicking you. But for people like that, ignoring difficult conversations is the easier option.

I've been in a very similar situation myself. As others have already said, the best thing you can do is forget about it and move on. If that's the kind of "mature" leadership running the guild, you're probably better off without them.

One other thing: don't expect your guild "friends" to stand up for you. When something similar happened to me, I received plenty of private messages saying people agreed with me, but nobody was willing to speak up publicly. Most people don't want to risk getting kicked themselves.

Move on, find a better guild, and don't give it any more of your time.

hiyde · July 26

Weesacs wrote: »

OP, unfortunately there are people with very poor social and communication skills who end up in positions of authority, and some of them abuse that authority.

Anyone, literally anyone can have that "position of authority" by clicking the "Create Guild" button in the game.

OP was happily in this guild for 4+ years with, I assume, up to 499 other people (plus 2 sister guilds). It must have gotten *something* right.