Major communication error? Will I be punished for this?

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Aravel
Aravel
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I don't know what just happened. I was on my healer alt, trying to drum up assistance for a world boss so I can get chummy with Sharp-as-Night. When someone volunteered, I warned that I was practicing my healer, and had little experience in this role since 2014 when the game launched. I got laughter and nothing else, so proceeded to the boss site.

Person asked if I was there, and I said yes, but I wanted to drum up some DPS because I feared the fight would be a mess <snip>. I thought it was understood that my healing build did not have much damage to offer. Person said 'good luck' and quit the party. Mystified, I sent a tell asking why, and got "Your attitude", at which point I was blocked.

Was this a language barrier issue? I cannot fathom what else it could have been. I was sincerely being friendly and trying to gather a party, and now I'm afraid I will be banned for simply talking in-game and being utterly mischaracterized by this random person.

I have autism and may be worrying unnecessarily, but with all the senseless bans that have been happening, isn't this a reasonable fear?

<snipped for Cursing and Profanity>
Edited by ZOS_Hadeostry on January 9, 2025 8:37PM
  • spartaxoxo
    spartaxoxo
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    A lot of DPS can solo the world bosses. So, they may have taken it personally when you wanted to get more on top of the language you used.

    I doubt you'd be banned.
  • Aravel
    Aravel
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    Oh. That makes sense, I guess.... 😅 Thank you. I wish more players would make allowances for those who are new. The last Apocrypha WB I did was truly a wreck in which I was struggling to keep several players alive, so here I simply anticipated more of the same.
  • spartaxoxo
    spartaxoxo
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    Aravel wrote: »
    Oh. That makes sense, I guess.... 😅 Thank you. I wish more players would make allowances for those who are new. The last Apocrypha WB I did was truly a wreck in which I was struggling to keep several players alive, so here I simply anticipated more of the same.

    Don't worry about it. You didn't know! FYI, The power gap in this pretty large between those DPS at the top of the power scale and those at the bottom. It's large in many games but this one is really huge. Depending on the players, you can have someone output more damage by themselves than a small group.

    So, a lot of times it's better to just give anyone who helps you a chance to try. If it doesn't work out, you can always find more people.
    Edited by spartaxoxo on January 9, 2025 6:14AM
  • Thysbe
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    nah - you wont get banned for disagreement, even if they report you (what I doubt) - just dont insult people and you´ll be fine

    best tactic is - call for help - give it a try - if it doesn´t work - call for more help :-) It´s fun to work it our together.

    No one can expect any super performance from a random player asking for help in zone. It´s cool to point our you are a healer or new, so they know. I can´t understand why they left the grp, they just could have said, that DPS is fine and no more are needed or just pulled the boss.

    A bit of a drama reaction. So don´t take that too much on yourself.


    Edited by Thysbe on January 9, 2025 6:21AM
  • KekwLord3000
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    Aravel wrote: »
    I don't know what just happened. I was on my healer alt, trying to drum up assistance for a world boss so I can get chummy with Sharp-as-Night. When someone volunteered, I warned that I was practicing my healer, and had little experience in this role since 2014 when the game launched. I got laughter and nothing else, so proceeded to the boss site.

    Person asked if I was there, and I said yes, but I wanted to drum up some DPS because I feared the fight would be a mess (used a different word here). I thought it was understood that my healing build did not have much damage to offer. Person said 'good luck' and quit the party. Mystified, I sent a tell asking why, and got "Your attitude", at which point I was blocked.

    Was this a language barrier issue? I cannot fathom what else it could have been. I was sincerely being friendly and trying to gather a party, and now I'm afraid I will be banned for simply talking in-game and being utterly mischaracterized by this random person.

    I have autism and may be worrying unnecessarily, but with all the senseless bans that have been happening, isn't this a reasonable fear?

    To be fair you kinda acted weird and rude. Let me explain so you asked for someone to help you with a WB, which is fine then you started telling them your life story when they didn't ask and on top of that you made them wait (as you didn't have a ready build on the boss), cause if someone asks me for a wb assistance I got there, if the person isn't there or isn't ready for a while I just go, I'm doing you a favor to help you with your task you should at least have the common decency to be there and ready to go as soon as I arrive, that's what I'd do if I was the one asking for help. He probably saw you yapping and needing more time to move gear instead of doing it before you called for his help (or the very least giving him a warning that you gonna do it like, Hey let me just grab a set or put some skills one brb 1 min).
    But also it could be that you haven't done anything wrong and the person had a bad a day and didn't want to spend too much time with a stranger.
  • Aravel
    Aravel
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    Huh. I thought I was being thoughtful and polite, the total opposite of rude. I did not offer a life story. Rather, I briefly offered a warning, explaining that I was practicing healing. I stated that as reasoning for wanting more bodies on the field. I did not make the person wait, and was ready and on-site before the other person was ready.
  • KekwLord3000
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    I guess I misread the situation, hard to tell what exactly happened there.
    But don't worry about it too much, if you haven't done anything bad just move on sometimes bad people play the game, or he was in a bad mood.
  • amig186
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    Sounds like an inappropriate reaction from that guy. It's perfectly reasonable to want additional dps players for Apocrypha WBs, they aren't easy to solo. It was probably just a misunderstanding, text chat doesn't always convey intentions well, and some people tend to interpret everything negatively.
    PC EU
  • Shara_Wynn
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    Sounds like the other player was being over sensitive about having their DPS questioned.

    A simple "I can solo it" was all the other player had to say.

    But who knows what kind of day they were having.

    Sometimes it's just not about you <3
  • AnduinTryggva
    AnduinTryggva
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    Aravel wrote: »
    I don't know what just happened. I was on my healer alt, trying to drum up assistance for a world boss so I can get chummy with Sharp-as-Night. When someone volunteered, I warned that I was practicing my healer, and had little experience in this role since 2014 when the game launched. I got laughter and nothing else, so proceeded to the boss site.

    Person asked if I was there, and I said yes, but I wanted to drum up some DPS because I feared the fight would be a mess (used a different word here). I thought it was understood that my healing build did not have much damage to offer. Person said 'good luck' and quit the party. Mystified, I sent a tell asking why, and got "Your attitude", at which point I was blocked.

    Was this a language barrier issue? I cannot fathom what else it could have been. I was sincerely being friendly and trying to gather a party, and now I'm afraid I will be banned for simply talking in-game and being utterly mischaracterized by this random person.

    I have autism and may be worrying unnecessarily, but with all the senseless bans that have been happening, isn't this a reasonable fear?

    Don't worry.

    You did nothing wrong. You maybe just happened to have met a person that takes offence more easily than the average ones.
  • LikiLoki
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    I see that you were friendly and humorous. Don't worry and be more confident in your rightness. With the new automatic algorithms in the game, the number of AI locks has increased. They can be appealed, which will lead to a positive resolution of the issue.
  • Wolfkeks
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    I wouldn't worry about it.

    Problem with written text is that we can't pick up if the person says something in a humourous way or not. So they might have misinterpreted what you said.

    When in doubt I always put a 😊 after my sentence just to be safe ^^
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  • DenverRalphy
    DenverRalphy
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    I'd bet the player probably just wanted a quick share of the WB quest, then get-in/get-out quick as possible with zero interest in taking the extra time to help out a newish player/character. Then just didn't want to fess up as to why they left.

    I'm guessing that since the OP mentioned Sharp's favor that it was a Necrom WB, and those typically aren't so easy to solo like other WB's. Heck, some of them you'd be hard pressed to duo.
    Edited by DenverRalphy on January 9, 2025 12:48PM
  • Orbital78
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    If they weren't a guildmate I wouldn't worry about it. This is part of the reason I don't use zone chat and hide it on a tab where it rarely gets seen. If you don't have a guild, find one or five. I can't speak for others, but I would much rather invest my time with a guild mate that I might actually see again. Who knows we might even do harder content later like arenas or trials.

    Unless you said something that breaks ToS, followed the person around doing so, etc, I don't think you have anything to worry about. There are a lot of weirdos online, just let it slide. Healing is nice, but not really needed for WB unsure why the person didn't just solo it for you, as I wasn't there I can't get both sides to the story.

    It is harder to do a lower CP, but I like to run at least a hybrid dps setup on all my supports. The armory station helps with that, it may take longer but you will eventually be able to solo most if not all dlc WB with enough practice. Sadly companions are next to worthless with the DLC ones from my experience.
  • Soraka
    Soraka
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    Communication error yes. Punished no. Usually takes something pretty bad for someone to go through the effort of reporting. Sounds like you two just didn't mix well.
  • Danikat
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    I don't think you did anything wrong and certainly nothing you could be banned for.

    I agree with the people saying they probably took it as an insult when you said you wanted more help, especially given the way you worded it. As other people in this thread have said many players can solo world bosses, so when they agreed to help then you said you wanted more help because you expected it to go badly they could have taken that as you saying you didn't trust them or think they were good enough.

    In future a good way to handle situations like this is to tell the other person what you want to do and what you can offer and then let them decide if they will need help with their part of the bargin, instead of telling them they will.
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  • Aravel
    Aravel
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    Orbital78 wrote: »
    If they weren't a guildmate I wouldn't worry about it. This is part of the reason I don't use zone chat and hide it on a tab where it rarely gets seen. If you don't have a guild, find one or five. I can't speak for others, but I would much rather invest my time with a guild mate that I might actually see again. Who knows we might even do harder content later like arenas or trials.

    Unless you said something that breaks ToS, followed the person around doing so, etc, I don't think you have anything to worry about. There are a lot of weirdos online, just let it slide. Healing is nice, but not really needed for WB unsure why the person didn't just solo it for you, as I wasn't there I can't get both sides to the story.

    It is harder to do a lower CP, but I like to run at least a hybrid dps setup on all my supports. The armory station helps with that, it may take longer but you will eventually be able to solo most if not all dlc WB with enough practice. Sadly companions are next to worthless with the DLC ones from my experience.

    Oh, this brief conversation happened in party chat. I only used zone to advertise for the WB quest. It was Apocrypha, by the way, which is why I was trying to be a little more cautious. I can solo most overworld content on any class with a companion to help, but having dipped my toes in that zone, the bosses seem rather tougher than usual. A fight I was in recently there was pretty intense.

    I sincerely think the person just misinterpreted my caution for, idk, judgment of ability. But all I was doing was saying my contribution wouldn't be good. Just wanted more players so the encounter wouldn't be 100% sweaty. 🤓
  • MidniteOwl1913
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    THe Apocrypha WB's some are pretty darn hard, lots of adds. I sometimes express that we might need more people for some things and nobody so far has ever taken offense. SOmetimes we just go ahead anyway and it's ok, sometimes it's a mess and I just leave. Sometimes more people show up and it's fine. None of these outcomes is cause for offense...

    And many full-build healers don't have much DPS... I too might have mentioned that just to set expectations. I wouldn't worry about it.
    PS5/NA
  • Aravel
    Aravel
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    Danikat wrote: »
    In future a good way to handle situations like this is to tell the other person what you want to do and what you can offer and then let them decide if they will need help with their part of the bargin, instead of telling them they will.

    I thought I was telling the other player what I could do and offering a chance to buckle down or bail out. That is precisely what my warning was for. I just phrased it in a flippantly self-deprecating manner that was woefully misunderstood.

    It was very routine and blasé until the thing I described happened. I suspect this player just wanted the quest and didn't care how I fared, so was aggravated by the delay of gathering a party. I was trying to make sure we both did well and didn't have to be sweaty about it.

    Having autism and various comorbidities of that, all I want is to communicate with exceptional clarity. Misunderstandings hurt and send me spiraling.

    Whatever, though, because I wound up soloing the boss with Isobel. The offended player could have just said it was easy, but meh. Over it.
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