May is mental health awareness month

Malyore · May 6

Over the time that I've been active on the forums, I've seen some of what I'd deem as disturbing behavior from a lot of posts. There seems to be so many people that are so affected by ESO to the point that it hurts them. Often times when a discussion starts to go into a serious mental health topic, I will say that such a topic is "beyond the scope of these forums." So while trying to stay within said scope, I wanted to ask people to just do something nice for themselves today if they can, something that'll help to relax.

I can infer that for perhaps a lot of people, this game is very important to them. It's the entirety of their downtime, or it can even be some people's jobs. It can be their escape from the real world (or even themselves), or it can be their only connection with people. Folks log in every day and invest more and more of themselves, their time, their thoughts, even their money. In essence, ESO can become the world people live and express themselves in. A snowball begins to roll downhill with that. It's understandable that folks can get so invested in the game. For a while I was that type of player. But then I felt the stress it was causing me, and it's a similar stress to what I see on the forums. Because people's lives can become surrounded by ESO, any pain points in ESO becomes pain in their lives, not just a videogame. So again, trying to stay within the scope of this forum, I just encourage folks to do something for themselves today that makes them feel relaxed. Even if that means taking a break from ESO, despite how rattling that may sound at first. The game will always be here to approach at your own discretion.

As for the forum moderators, I also just wanted to say thank you for the work you do on here. I don't know what this role looks like in your life, I dunno if this is the entirety of your job or only a portion of it, but it's appreciated what you do here to keep things from getting too awry. I know there are many times when minor uproars will start because of silence from the devs or mods, or because a change done by a ZOS team that you don't even work for has disgruntled players, or whatever else may be the case. And even without having player frustrations directed at you, ya still gotta read through every post and reply. If I had to moderate these forums for years, I'd probably get pretty darn burnt out, to no fault of anyone necessarily. It's just the nature of things. So my encouragement to do something nice for yourself applies to the mods too.

JavaRen · May 6

Our community needs more of this sentiment.

Tenthirty2 · May 6

These are wonderful thoughts, thank you for taking time to share them.

Drammanoth · May 6

A great post OP.

Yeah, as much as some of us can be a pain in the thorax, without the Devs (Kevin, Icy, Hadeostry - the ones I see the most) these forums would be... of significantly worse quality.

I really don't envy them the task of listening to our ideas, however un/grounded they may seem.

Sooooo, thanks for your hard work =]

licenturion · May 6

When I read the title of this post I eyerolled because it sounds like the mails from HR we get at work every week.

But reading it through I changed my mind and think the sentiment and gesture is pretty nice.

Luckily I am one of these type of people that almost never get angry in life and know when it is time to touch some grass or go for a long hike.

spartaxoxo · May 6

There is very little behavior that is described on here that would be really disturbing. And mental illness is also not something that can be diagnosed by the way anyone describes a singular event, even if they allowed themselves to feel unpleasant emotions.

Unpleasant emotions are not signs of mental illness. Everyone will feel them from time to time. And feelings are normal thing to have about things you care about. And yes, you're allowed to care for your hobbies. You are even allowed to put in work for your hobbies from time to time!

Where it starts to cross the line is when it starts to interfere with your real life on a consistent basis and other forms of severe and persistent negative effects. Are you unable to socialize with others, including friends and family? Has playing video games negatively impacted your ability to do well at school, work, household activities, or self-care e.g. showering? If you are unable to play video games, do you regularly feel deep feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, etc? Have you given up other activities you used to enjoy (and are still perfectly capable of) focusing mostly or only on gaming? Are you unable to reduce your gaming time? Do you lie to others about the amount of time you spend gaming?

Those are the beginning of the types of questions you should ask yourself to determine whether or not gaming is a problem for you. It is not categorized by any singular event or incident. It is a pattern of behavior. The person who called out sick one time in 10 years to play ESO's launch does not have a problem. A person who grinded out the anniversary style pages despite not enjoying themselves without neglecting their real life is not behaving in a manner that is disturbed. If they do this regularly or neglected their real life for weeks, that could be a sign of an issue. But disliking the time spent on one event once in 10 years is not signs of a problem. A person who would prefer to be able to spend a holiday to play video games are not ill just because they find themselves mildly annoyed there will be maintenance. Unless they always miss holidays and other important events because they have given up a social life in favor of video games.

It is perfectly okay to experience negative emotions sometimes. Attempting to diagnose people or acting like their behavior is disturbing over a small snapshot of their activity is not appropriate imo. I understand the message is to be kind. That starts with allowing others the space to express negative emotions in a healthy manner.

edit:

And to anyone who is having a bad day today. Just know that it's okay to not be okay. If you're feeling sad or mad, that's okay. And if it's more than just that, if you feel you do need professional help, that's okay too. There are people out there that are able and willing to help you. And there are people out there rooting for you. There's no shame in seeking help. Be good to yourself.

ArchMikem · May 6

What happens here, is just a symptom of a much, MUCH, larger problem that encompasses an entire Era of Human Civilization. Our access to instant global communication. Social Media.

Humans are social creatures. Before technology, we satiated this desire with meeting face to face, either individually or in public gathering places. It forced us to learn mannerisms, restraint, what was appropriate and what wasn't because consequences of what we said and did were immediate and very real.

Now? The Anonymity of a screen gives us safety and courage to lose our inhibitions. We've always had impulsive thoughts and the urge for malice. Our past society helped keep it in check, but with our relatively new ability to interact with others from privacy and security, it's all been thrown out the window. We no longer need to watch ourselves, we're shown there's no consequence to how we conduct ourselves in the digital space unless our transgressions are so grievous it attracts the attention of Big Brother. And the worst part? All of this is being exposed and taught to generations just starting life. I wasn't introduced to the Internet until my mid to late Teens. These days the Internet is deeply ingrained into the lives of Children who still have years until Puberty hits. Instead of interacting with peers on the playground, it's a cacophony of squeakers in a CoD Lobby trying to one up each other about what they did to the other's Mother. (I hope that example doesn't get me in trouble with Mods)

You think it's really bad on this Forum? A Majority of ESO's playerbase are Adults with even a sizable population of Seniors. Very few kids have the interest or attention span to invest into a Role Playing Game. It'll only get worse as the years continue to go by and all those exposed kids I mentioned, grow up and discover this game, bringing their Internet Social Skills with them.

As a disclaimer, I am not trying to generalize ALL youth with my statements. But at the same time, I really do fear for Civilization's next 20 to 40 years.

ikzaa · May 7

Well, I don't understand why people are offended by a stranger's comments, why does it affect you so much? i don't understand.

Most of the people i have met or read in the chat are adult, educated people.

Go play WoT, if you don't receive death or illness wishes after a battle, it means that you are not a good player, i have been told everything, i have never reported anyone, it doesn't offend me, it makes me laugh.

ZOS_Hadeostry · May 7

Greetings,

After removing some unnecessary back and forth from this thread, we would like everyone to keep posts on the subject at hand, civil, and constructive.

If there may be any questions in regards to the rules, please feel free to review them here

Malyore · May 7

spartaxoxo wrote: »

There is very little behavior that is described on here that would be really disturbing. And mental illness is also not something that can be diagnosed by the way anyone describes a singular event, even if they allowed themselves to feel unpleasant emotions.

...
It is perfectly okay to experience negative emotions sometimes. Attempting to diagnose people or acting like their behavior is disturbing over a small snapshot of their activity is not appropriate imo. I understand the message is to be kind. That starts with allowing others the space to express negative emotions in a healthy manner.

(For anyone who hasn't seen the full quote, I encourage you look, as there are some very nice points in their reply. I shortened the quote to just be related to my response) @spartaxoxo To clarify, the things I described are not what disturb me. I said those things as a reminder that what ESO is for one person can be very different for another. Sometimes I forget that. I didn't mean for it to come off as accusatory, I meant for it to be considerate of others' circumstances.

I believe we are thinking of different scenarios.
I don't wanna give a detailed list of what I have observed on here, but in essence

some of the genuine, real-life hatred and agony that can develop from a virtual world is something I consider to be disturbed/disturbing. Some of the expressions on here on not in a healthy or appropriate manner either. Some are even to the level of getting taken down by moderators.

There's no attempt to diagnose here. Once a conversation starts to delve into the realm of diagnoses or a dire behavior, that is when I believe those conversations are "beyond the scope of the forums".

Sakiri · May 7

Yeah I feel that sometimes, people take the game WAAAAAAAAAY too seriously. Way too seriously.

Everything from the nail biting anxiety when the server is down, to the raging about how they're entitled to this or that because they pay for it, despite the terms of service clearly stating otherwise. Not on this forum, but others, including reddit, I've seen some downright nasty threats and comments made by people because of a change made to their game. And it doesn't seem like any culture if spared. Even the Japanese community, which has a history of being more polite than others, got up in arms at Square Enix about something related to Final Fantasy 14 to the point of making self harm wishes and other nasty stuff in Twitter commentary. It was awful.

Not all of it says anything specific about mental illness, but addiction is an illness, and it's one with symptoms seen by myself and others in people that post on forums and other social media about this game and others. It's no different than gambling or certain drugs or other behavioral addictions. The dopamine hit is the same, and it's very, very addicting. I'm prone to gaming addiction, it takes a lot for me to go hey, it's just a game, it'll be fine. I also do have diagnoses for mental illnesses that are unrelated to gaming or addiction. I think I'm doing well with ESO, and while I play every day for extended periods, I'm not as upset when the servers are down, game changes don't make me rage, etc. Sure, I think some changes are dumb, or I'll get annoyed that the server is still down when I try to log in right when it's supposed to be ending, but I take it better than I used to.

I think more people need to do that. Sit back, breathe, relax, and remember it's just a game, and that it doesn't affect anything outside the game that your class ability just got nerfed, or they took away a set bonus you liked that was imbalanced somehow, or that the server has to go down for a while. That it's okay if the devs screw up and make mistakes.

Just let the month be a reminder that you should do as the Panadaren in World of Warcraft say, and "Slow down..."

Ilumia · May 7

I agree with your observations about what eso is to some people, because I am one of the people you describe. I struggle with ptsd, and it got worse after my house burned down and I lost all my things and my home. Eso however remained and I could log in and still have my things and carry on and be distracted, and it provided comfort. At that point in my life having a place to go when the frustration of dealing with insurance, and the lack of understanding from my education (yep, when I asked for a deadline to be postponed they said my house burning wasn't a good enough reason, it'd have to be something "unpredictable, like an eathquake" to qualify me) - was really good for me, and I could relax for a while before returning to the harsh reality and dealing with stuff. It kept me from becoming nore depressed in that time.

I work in healthcare with young people, and distracting with things people "want" to do is also a valid strategy in suicide prevention, so gaming, including games like eso, for some people will become a coping mechanism, just like it has for me.
This is ok for a while, but in games like eso, with a lot of fomo mechanics, it can take over too much. And mechanisms like that are described as predatory for a reason. The increase seen in young people with unhealthy realtionships to different things is just going up. The more predatory, the more people will get hooked and interact more with it than they actually wish, or to a point where it deteriorates other aspects of their lives.
When you feel that this: "The game will always be here to approach at your own discretion" is not true, but you log in because of fomo, then that's probably not healthy for you - and yep I feel that fomo too. I still enjoy plenty of parts of the game, so it's hard to stop and say 'no more eso for me', because I feel there's so much great and entertaining content too.

So in light of that and mental health awareness month, I'd like to appeal to everyone, especially zos, in thinking about how to make the game better on everyone's mental health and in taking the responsibility for their part.
As a player and forum reader/writer, just make a welcoming and understanding environment where nuance and acceptance of people's differences have space in the debate and game too.

And for zos: Everything can be abused, but some things more than others, don't try to profit of that so hard.

furiouslog · May 7

ikzaa wrote: »

Well, I don't understand why people are offended by a stranger's comments, why does it affect you so much? i don't understand.

Most of the people i have met or read in the chat are adult, educated people.

Go play WoT, if you don't receive death or illness wishes after a battle, it means that you are not a good player, i have been told everything, i have never reported anyone, it doesn't offend me, it makes me laugh.

You don't understand why someone would be offended by a stranger's comment? Do you really not understand that concept? I'm asking seriously here, because I will explain it to you comprehensively, if that's truly the case.

whitecrow · May 7

I am painfully aware of my mental health all year long.

ikzaa · May 7

furiouslog wrote: »

ikzaa wrote: »

Well, I don't understand why people are offended by a stranger's comments, why does it affect you so much? i don't understand.

Most of the people i have met or read in the chat are adult, educated people.

Go play WoT, if you don't receive death or illness wishes after a battle, it means that you are not a good player, i have been told everything, i have never reported anyone, it doesn't offend me, it makes me laugh.

You don't understand why someone would be offended by a stranger's comment? Do you really not understand that concept? I'm asking seriously here, because I will explain it to you comprehensively, if that's truly the case.

No, i honestly don't understand, i don't get offended by those types of comments, why should i be offended?

Desiato · May 7

There's an emerging view by many respected health professionals and researchers that the mental health crisis in western society has less to do with underlying psychological factors, and more to do with physical health (including brain health) and lifestyle factors.

Lifestyle factors include obvious things like diet, exercise and drugs/alcohol but also include social media and games. Over-stimulation is a major problem.

An unhealthy body pretty much means an unhealthy brain and an unhealthy brain is less able to process, cope and respond to challenges and setbacks productively.

I've learned the past few years that a good diet and exercise don't just help improve mental health, they are practically a requirement for a healthy brain.