Most clueless thing I ever heard an NPC say

SilverBride · February 2023

I was in Craglorn doing a quest in the Serpent's Nest delve. Part of the quest was to release some prisoners being held there. When I released the last one he had this to say: "That's the last time I accept an invitation from a mysterious robed figure."

I should have left him there.

Dragonredux · February 2023

I feel like this is a jab about character getting kidnapped by worm cultists at the beginning of the main quest.

SilverBride · February 2023

I found it rather amusing.

Jaraal · February 2023

Not nearly as clueless as an Argonian in the outlaws refuge talking about drinking poison as a delicacy. I guess he never got the memo that Mr. Lambert revoked his immunity to poison four years ago.

Elsonso · February 2023

Rumor has it that this lady finds that guy totally out of line.

TaSheen · February 2023

I've actually had RL moments like that, where I said nearly the same thing (minus "the mysterious robed figure"). And no, I'm not going to go into detail.

gw2only1b14_ESO · February 2023

Oh that argonian that says "carefull I erect the spine of warning"! in Craglorn always deserves the side eye

Kesstryl · February 2023

Every..single...quest...where the NPC REQUIRES me to ask something along the lines of what are we doing again or explain this again before the dialogue can progress (evil eye at Eveli)

zaria · February 2023

Kesstryl wrote: »

Every..single...quest...where the NPC REQUIRES me to ask something along the lines of what are we doing again or explain this again before the dialogue can progress (evil eye at Eveli)

That tend not an required dialogue option. Its in case people picked up the quest long ago and does not remember that its about.
Always love this Khajiit in Hollow city

https://i.imgur.com/i0oFjzO.png

AcadianPaladin · February 2023

"Would it kill them to just run away? No, I don't suppose it would. Why don't they try that?"
- Mirri Elendis just after we killed a strangler. . . .

Necrotech_Master · February 2023

AcadianPaladin wrote: »

"Would it kill them to just run away? No, I don't suppose it would. Why don't they try that?"
- Mirri Elendis just after we killed a strangler. . . .

or "they made their choices" by bastion after we get done fighting a wild animal lol

VaranisArano · February 2023

*riding away from the Harborage, having just completed a main quest, ready to pat myself on the back and have a celebratory drink at the nearest city*

The Prophet: "Vestige. We must speak. Come to the Harborage at once."

"I was JUST there! Come on, man!"

ArchMikem · February 2023

gw2only1b14_ESO wrote: »

Oh that argonian that says "carefull I erect the spine of warning"! in Craglorn always deserves the side eye

I wonder if the "I erect the spine of..." phrase is a verbalization of Argonian Body Language that's commonplace amongst themselves but completely misunderstood by other Races. Argonians probably think they're doing us a favor.

Carcamongus · February 2023

"That's a slaughter Dagon would envy." (Mirri, moments after we slaughtered several of Dagon's minions. To be fair, I love this one)

"Lucky fetcher. All I ever manage to find are musty grains and spuds." (Mirri, right after I find something worthless in a heavy sack)

"I taught you how to play." (Brahgas, referring to that "impeccable" tutorial)

Beilin_Balreis_Colcan · February 2023

"The divines were in a good mood when they made this place" by Bastian certainly qualifies, when he uses this in the most inappropriate places, e.g. Coldharbour.

Treselegant · February 2023

Fennorian telling a vampire Vestige they should go into Kilkreath temple without him during the Greymoor main quest because "Meridia doesn't approve of my kind".
tumblr_pjhkwg0pbH1swpz1z_250.gifv

Kesstryl · February 2023

zaria wrote: »

Kesstryl wrote: »

Every..single...quest...where the NPC REQUIRES me to ask something along the lines of what are we doing again or explain this again before the dialogue can progress (evil eye at Eveli)

That tend not an required dialogue option. Its in case people picked up the quest long ago and does not remember that its about.

Should not be required then, but optional. There are quests where it is required before progressing, and I'm left with making up my own dialogue in my head to get around why my character has the attention span of a dog in a squirrel yard.

Beilin_Balreis_Colcan · February 2023

vsrs_au wrote: »

"The divines were in a good mood when they made this place" by Bastian certainly qualifies, when he uses this in the most inappropriate places, e.g. Coldharbour.

Again from Bastian: "Sheathe your weapons, the battle is won!", umm... no it isn't, Bastian, the dragon still has 10 million health to lose.

cyclonus11 · February 2023

Necrotech_Master wrote: »

or "they made their choices" by bastion after we get done fighting a wild animal lol

This one always makes me laugh since we're the ones who attacked them.

Necrotech_Master · February 2023

vsrs_au wrote: »

vsrs_au wrote: »

"The divines were in a good mood when they made this place" by Bastian certainly qualifies, when he uses this in the most inappropriate places, e.g. Coldharbour.

Again from Bastian: "Sheathe your weapons, the battle is won!", umm... no it isn't, Bastian, the dragon still has 10 million health to lose.

i think this is all the companions lol, as soon as the dragon flies up they think the battle is over as the dragon proceeds to breathe fire over them lol

Tenthirty2 · February 2023

Going back through zones to finish up odd bits I've missed, currently in Wrothgar.
I ride up to the Unfinished Dolmen where a bunch of cultists are fussing about.
One of them in a determined voice "We will finish this dolmen!"

For some reason that is still cracking me up

SilverBride · February 2023

gw2only1b14_ESO wrote: »

Oh that argonian that says "carefull I erect the spine of warning"! in Craglorn always deserves the side eye

I just ran into that guy in Craglorn!

Deter1UK · February 2023

SilverBride wrote: »

I was in Craglorn doing a quest in the Serpent's Nest delve. Part of the quest was to release some prisoners being held there. When I released the last one he had this to say: "That's the last time I accept an invitation from a mysterious robed figure."

I should have left him there.

That's the sort of thing that's always makes me laugh. I love it when this game self-references in out-of-the-way encounters.

Hapexamendios · February 2023

Any dead NPC in the middle of shouting "I need healing." I feel like quoting Kenshiro.

tomofhyrule · February 2023

As much as I love any of the companions' "wow, this striking locale is amazing!" lines when we're passing some enemy-infested ruin like Gaudet's Farm, my favorite is still some of the drunks in Windhelm.

Them: "Ugh, you smell like an Orc."
Me:

*sidenote: For the first time in 3.5 years of playing, I just randomly tried on a new hairstyle and my world was shaken. I think this is better than what he had before... but can I really change my main after all this time?*

On a less funny note, I think Eveli in the Blackwood line could redefine 'clueless,' and I'm still salty that for story reasons, my character needed to be dumber than her.

theacefes · February 2023

The lady outside the blacksmith in Mournhold has been sweeping those steps for nearly 10 years and she's complained the entire time. Also that other Dark Elf who couldn't get into Shad Astula...again, might want to possibly consider another university or maybe just bribe the admissions board.