I have watched this thread over the past 24hrs with increasing amounts of dismay!!

Maybe I should have stood up for the OP before but there was way too much argument going on so I watched from a distance....

However now the thread has been moderated and is probably on their radar I would like to share a story!

I am a 59yr old straight female, many, many years ago due to family issues I ended up homeless, the person who stood up for me and took care of me was an openly gay man called Bruce.... he stepped in and helped me when nobody else did!!

At that time he was frequently abused for being "out" BUT he saved me and I will be forever grateful.

He was the first "gay" person I met and whilst "gay" may not be the most accepted term, I loved him so much and continue to love the LGBTQ too this day!!

Stand up and be proud!!

SainguinKrist wrote: »

KalevaLaine wrote: »

I'm sorry that this is happening to you and your beloved, friends, guild mates or call it whatever.

I would totally agree to screenshot it and report this to the costumer service. Hope thy will react and ban this idiot from the game, and if not, they deserve a social ban.

Reminds me on a post that day where the USMC posted a pride month related picture on social media. The comments... Just hell.

That's why Pride matters. We have to be out and open until hate like that ends.

It's happening, it's just gonna take some more time.

I have a legitimate question, as someone who really doesn’t mind whether one is gay or not, but just how far can someone who is “open” about that go? I have been forced to partake in some really disgusting comments about intimate activities in zone text chat, which I cannot turn off on console without missing guild text chat.

I don’t share my bedroom activities so I am not keen to hear about others’ explicit acts.

No judgment here, no hate.

Please don’t moderate me, I am sure others would like to know. It can go the other way, too

SainguinKrist wrote: »

xgoku1 wrote: »

That sounds awful. What platform is this?

The only thing you can do is report them. Try not to engage, take screenshots of the convo.

Hate speech violates ToS and they're gonna get a permaban.

@ZOS_Kevin please look into this?

PC NA.

I know it's common advice not to engage, but I feel like not engaging is leaving these people completely unchallenged and it just emboldens them.

Sometimes you have to stand up to such blatant hate speech.

Engaging them is what enables them. You're giving them what they want, a reaction.

Totally outside where the thread went later in the day, but just a big thank you to the mods.

That was a long, sensitive thread to moderate and you managed to get it done in a way that still preserved the sense of what people had been saying on what is obviously an emotive subject, while removing the abusive bits. It would have been so much easier for you just to delete the thread or to delete messages and replies wholesale and that is not what you did.

Respect.

katanagirl1 wrote: »

SainguinKrist wrote: »

KalevaLaine wrote: »

I'm sorry that this is happening to you and your beloved, friends, guild mates or call it whatever.

I would totally agree to screenshot it and report this to the costumer service. Hope thy will react and ban this idiot from the game, and if not, they deserve a social ban.

Reminds me on a post that day where the USMC posted a pride month related picture on social media. The comments... Just hell.

That's why Pride matters. We have to be out and open until hate like that ends.

It's happening, it's just gonna take some more time.

I have a legitimate question, as someone who really doesn’t mind whether one is gay or not, but just how far can someone who is “open” about that go? I have been forced to partake in some really disgusting comments about intimate activities in zone text chat, which I cannot turn off on console without missing guild text chat.

I don’t share my bedroom activities so I am not keen to hear about others’ explicit acts.

No judgment here, no hate.

Please don’t moderate me, I am sure others would like to know. It can go the other way, too

Sexually explicit content, straight or otherwise, is prohibited by the Code of Conduct we all agreed to.

So if you see something you deem sexually explicit, by all means, report.

However, I've noticed a persistent conflation whereby LGBT+ people talking about being LGBT+ is treated as sexually explicit by people who don't want to hear it, whereas the equivalent conversation by straight folks would not be.

Maybe that's not what you meant at all, but since we've seen some examples of that thought process here on this thread, I figured it was worth clarifying.

VaranisArano wrote: »

katanagirl1 wrote: »

SainguinKrist wrote: »

KalevaLaine wrote: »

I'm sorry that this is happening to you and your beloved, friends, guild mates or call it whatever.

I would totally agree to screenshot it and report this to the costumer service. Hope thy will react and ban this idiot from the game, and if not, they deserve a social ban.

Reminds me on a post that day where the USMC posted a pride month related picture on social media. The comments... Just hell.

That's why Pride matters. We have to be out and open until hate like that ends.

It's happening, it's just gonna take some more time.

I have a legitimate question, as someone who really doesn’t mind whether one is gay or not, but just how far can someone who is “open” about that go? I have been forced to partake in some really disgusting comments about intimate activities in zone text chat, which I cannot turn off on console without missing guild text chat.

I don’t share my bedroom activities so I am not keen to hear about others’ explicit acts.

No judgment here, no hate.

Please don’t moderate me, I am sure others would like to know. It can go the other way, too

Sexually explicit content, straight or otherwise, is prohibited by the Code of Conduct we all agreed to.

So if you see something you deem sexually explicit, by all means, report.

However, I've noticed a persistent conflation whereby LGBT+ people talking about being LGBT+ is treated as sexually explicit by people who don't want to hear it, whereas the equivalent conversation by straight folks would not be.

Maybe that's not what you meant at all, but since we've seen some examples of that thought process here on this thread, I figured it was worth clarifying.

Again, agreed.

[snip]

We don't know what triggered hate on the zone chat. I don't see where they said they were discussing their sexuality to strangers?

You know, it's probably not like OP went around saying "guys look at me, it's great being gay, you should try it".

I assume what happened is they advertised their guild in zone chat, which said its LGBT friendly and they received hate. It's not like it takes much to trigger bigots, this thread is living proof

[edited to remove quote]

VaranisArano wrote: »

katanagirl1 wrote: »

SainguinKrist wrote: »

KalevaLaine wrote: »

I'm sorry that this is happening to you and your beloved, friends, guild mates or call it whatever.

I would totally agree to screenshot it and report this to the costumer service. Hope thy will react and ban this idiot from the game, and if not, they deserve a social ban.

Reminds me on a post that day where the USMC posted a pride month related picture on social media. The comments... Just hell.

That's why Pride matters. We have to be out and open until hate like that ends.

It's happening, it's just gonna take some more time.

I have a legitimate question, as someone who really doesn’t mind whether one is gay or not, but just how far can someone who is “open” about that go? I have been forced to partake in some really disgusting comments about intimate activities in zone text chat, which I cannot turn off on console without missing guild text chat.

I don’t share my bedroom activities so I am not keen to hear about others’ explicit acts.

No judgment here, no hate.

Please don’t moderate me, I am sure others would like to know. It can go the other way, too

Sexually explicit content, straight or otherwise, is prohibited by the Code of Conduct we all agreed to.

So if you see something you deem sexually explicit, by all means, report.

However, I've noticed a persistent conflation whereby LGBT+ people talking about being LGBT+ is treated as sexually explicit by people who don't want to hear it, whereas the equivalent conversation by straight folks would not be.

Maybe that's not what you meant at all, but since we've seen some examples of that thought process here on this thread, I figured it was worth clarifying.

No that’s not it at all. While suggestive comments from NPCs are often funny, hearing real life people’s explicit, personal, detailed comments, regardless of their orientation, I feel are not appropriate. I don’t think anyone reports this stuff in zone chat, though. I mean, it’s either going nowhere or it could backfire on you.

Like many others, I am there to play the game. I really don’t understand why I get such detailed info about people whom I don’t even know their real life names. This is such a heated issue, both sides feel justified to say whatever they want and there is no adult supervision. It’s almost like talking religion or politics in zone chat.

TaSheen wrote: »

Deter1UK wrote: »

Iselin wrote: »

This month specifically I expect and welcome members of the community to identify their preference in chat, with pride.

And I say this as an old hetero male.

This old hetro male seconds that sentiment!

All the Guilds I am in are LGB++ friendly - I would not be in one that was not (PC EU)

As an older hetero female, I also agree with the sentiment. Happy Pride all!

Same here, I have no tolerance for intolerance (excuse the pun). People should be allowed to be themselves.

ArchMikem wrote: »

SainguinKrist wrote: »

xgoku1 wrote: »

That sounds awful. What platform is this?

The only thing you can do is report them. Try not to engage, take screenshots of the convo.

Hate speech violates ToS and they're gonna get a permaban.

@ZOS_Kevin please look into this?

PC NA.

I know it's common advice not to engage, but I feel like not engaging is leaving these people completely unchallenged and it just emboldens them.

Sometimes you have to stand up to such blatant hate speech.

Engaging them is what enables them. You're giving them what they want, a reaction.

I'm no psychologist, but perhaps the best reaction we can give them is a simple, "You've been reported. Have a nice day."

Happy Pride Month, I love you all, and I wish you all a safe and authentic life.

Remember that the Gods of Tamerial have no quarrel with the LGBT+ community.

Mara is the goddess of love and doesn't care what form it takes.

As for the Trans community, there is a soul and body duality in Tamerialic metaphysics, and transformation of the body is common not exactly accepted unless you are an argonian (lizards into trees and vice versa) but common. The idea that the soul exists separate from the body and that perhaps a mismatch of body and soul could cause issues is not unknown to the sages of tamerial.

katanagirl1 wrote: »

I have a legitimate question, as someone who really doesn’t mind whether one is gay or not, but just how far can someone who is “open” about that go? I have been forced to partake in some really disgusting comments about intimate activities in zone text chat, which I cannot turn off on console without missing guild text chat.

I don’t share my bedroom activities so I am not keen to hear about others’ explicit acts.

No judgment here, no hate.

Please don’t moderate me, I am sure others would like to know. It can go the other way, too

It depends. To a toxic, hearing someone has a husband and is male is enough to "trigger" them.

But in general, I'm confused as to why this comment came up in a "stop being hateful towards a group who is already suffering" thread.

Because, well, I'm not seeing where you're getting the idea that "orientation" = "explicit and disgusting comments involving boinking."

Often, but not always, the worst offenders of "having to listen to disgusting and intimate details" that I run into are straight dudes of any age. Spend 5 minutes in a discord chat, and there'll be jokes about private parts, brags about "conquests" and it can get worse in PvP and end-game raiding. I don't know why this happens; it just does.

Yet, questions of their orientation don't seem to come up.

This "dudebro" mindset is so prevalent that some discords have mentions in their TOS, reminding dudes that the guild, discord, etc. is not a dating service. Some have womens-only chat where it's considered a safer area to be.

Do you know what these womens-only chats contain?

Supporting one another from dealing with harassment.

So your question, and any others' concerns about "explicit" activity, are probably misplaced in this thread which is about avoiding harassment.

I agree with you 100% that you should be able to say that if you so choose. A good portion of people online look to anger people saying and doing the most insensitive things they can to get you angry. Sitting behind a monitor makes a lot of people braver than they would be normally. Its one of the drawbacks to online gaming and I have seen it time and again. Point is to not let it get you upset because the moment you do they get what they want.

TES lore is full of LGBTQ friendly themes. It's probably the most allied fantasy franchise out there without being overtly explicit or full of tokenism, or forced socio-political references. ESO does it organically, and it's a natural part of the universe that queerness is kind of baked into it; pretty much the example of how to do it right. It absolutely boggles the mind that people who are perfectly fine with the history of Vivec and the variety of in-game stories, depth of lore that touch upon these same themes, can be so publicly bigoted in game chat. I mean, what even is that? cognitive dissonance? It's just a strange and somewhat contradictory stance to assume.