Another awesome tell. Skreg is such a fun fight to solo...

Part 5 -An Accidental Thievery, Ambiguous Guards -

Hello Diary, tis me once again! After a few productive days, I decided to enjoy a single day of rest and relaxation. I hoped I would get to observe some semblance of modern decorum, but alas yet again the fates were unkind in their mirth of sheer absurdity that was to be my day of rest.

I started the day by leaving my small room at the inn, to go down and enjoy some breakfast. Leaving my arms and armor within my dwelling upon the landing above. I enjoyed the freedom of movement and removed weight after so many days of being constantly girded for battle, which as far as I can tell is the normal state of nearly everyone's every-day state of business. Because (save for the few tavern keepers and merchants) nearly everyone seemed to be battle-ready at all times, even during supposed times of loitering. The most hardened and battle worn General would envy the battle-ready state of the mere average citizen here. How do they not chafe constantly? How is their equipment not spoiled by weather and the foul elements? The only time I had seen anyone remove a weapon, was to clean, sharpen, and repair it. Where it would then go back to battle-ready position. Such was the vigilance of the average person here, One might think we were living under a constant state of siege! But I digress.

I decided to begin my day of relaxation with a bit of reading! I had recently spoken to a guild of mages whom seem to value books most of all, and seem to be looking for a few choice volumes. And it twas here, that my day began to run most afoul of ridiculous vexation. I was in a public place, quite happily blithely ignoring the quite common general strangeness, lost between pages of tales, lore, history, and adventure. I found myself reading my third or possibly my fourth volume, when I was looking around at the quite excellent selection, reaching with a hand to my next tale to enjoy. When a loud and sudden voice thundered through the room, making me spin in place and reflexively come to attention, such was the projection of absolute authority, my mind had instinctively revered to "trainee" mode and had utterly forgotten I was no longer a mere trainee!

"STOP! YOU HAVE COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST SKYRIM AND HER PEOPLE! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY IN YOUR DEFENSE?"

I stood at rigged attention, waiting for whomever criminal the guard was addressing to speak up. After a few moments of silence it dawned on me, that it was ME whom he was addressing! What? No! Impossible! I haven't done anything! I was just reading!

Looking down into my hand, I finally noticed that in my relaxed state, whilst looking at other books, I had mistakenly reached into a cupboard instead of a bookshelf! My hand had barely cleared scant inches of the wooden shelf with a simple cup held, before the guard had leaped to his duty! Apparently, I had "stolen" a cup the moment its porcelain surface cleared the surface of the wood. I was shocked! Surely "this" wasn't thievery? I immediately put it back, but no! The guard was insistent that I somehow was a criminal!

I paid my meagre fine which appeased the guard. My mind still in a complete and utter state of perplexed puzzlement. And my mind went through several thoughts in a few quick moments. First was myself inwardly scolding myself, for not realizing I was removing a cup, not a book. The next thought was how impressive it was that the guard not only detected the (accidental!) "theft" but how quick they were to respond to it. Finally I found myself how they had thievery at all, if the guards and citizens were so apt, attentive, and responsive. How would anyone get away with anything, if even such accidental incidents were so prompt and immediately detected? They must have either the most highly trained guards, or (which I believe is the more likely) the most utterly bored guards in employ out of any kingdom anywhere.

Feeling sheepish and embarrassed, I decided to drown my muddled mid-day with a mug of ale. Walking through Solitude's marketplace, struggling to all but ignore whatever weird or strange sight the fates saw fit to tempt me with in my path, I had the unfortunate luck to come across a loud vocal disagreement underway in the square.

A mage of some sort, Elven by the look of him, all but glowing with mighty magical might was engaged in a heated confrontation with an Orc, whom seemed to be a young and new adventurer much as myself. I did not understand the nature of the agreement, but the intent was clear when the Elf took out a standard from somewhere, and planted it firmly in the ground, back handing the Orc in a clear challenge to a duel.

I being a student of War myself, I could not help but pause to observe. The Orc drew his weapon as the Elf began to weave a sort of spell, seeming to conjure up a skeleton of some ilk to scurry at the Orc, knocking him back a few steps. But then something happened I did not expect, as I heard a familiar authoritative voice bellow out across the air of the open market!

"STOP! YOU HAVE COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST SKYRIM AND HER PEOPLE! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY IN YOUR DEFENSE?"

The Elf's eyes grew as large as dinner plates, and the Orc openly grinned tusk-to-tusk. Then the Elf turned tail, and ran headlong as fast as he could. Hitching up his long hemmed robes, he set off at such speed it was truly impressive for one that supposedly was given to more scholarly pursuits! The orc set after him with his oversized sword raised overhead. He was quickly joined by a few guards in perusing the Necromancer to the city gates!

After a few heartbeats, the market returned to normal, no one else acting as if anything strange just occurred in their midst. To fully understand what just happened, I sought out a (different) guard and asked. He said in a tone that brooked no argument "Necromancy is a criminal act." I stood there rooted to the spot, just staring at the man. I took one look, openly and pointedly scanning the square. Within plain and open view of that 30 yards of ground were more magical weapons than the eye could quickly count, some people openly casting magic. I even spotted some sort of imp-like creature and its master, as it hunched on a bench and enjoyed what seemed to be a cooked chicken where they seemed to be playing a game of chess. A warrior then rode by, his mount looking suspiciously undead-like. But the crowning moment was when a young slip of a girl jogged past, with (I solemnly swear) a small obviously undead dragon-like companion flapping and flying after her.

I could only point, my mouth opening and closing several times without forming words, as if dumbstruck. To his credit, the guard didn't even bat an eyelash or twitch, even as the tiny undead dragon and its keeper flew so close I could have reached out and grabbed it with my hands! By what logic or context are these laws applied?!? I just pointed at obvious hazards to the public, fully expecting even the undead NECROMANTIC dragon-like pet to at least elect SOME sort of reaction from the guard. But nay! He stood-statue like, just looking at me for a few moments, before continuing on his way. Going even so far as to march right past the girl and her undead pet, not even sparing it a glance or pausing his stride.

At this point, I have had quite enough. I continued to the tavern, all but shielding my gaze from whatever else nonsense might assault my sense of logic and order, making a straight path to the tavern. Where I requested not a mere mug of Honey Mead but an entire Pitcher to take up to my room, where I spent the rest of my afternoon drinking and staring out my window in utter complete drunken bafflement, solemnly determining to never run afoul of what is quite obviously a most liberal application of the laws.

To be continued....

This is absolutely wonderful!!

Thank you so much for posting!

Part 6 - Unexpected fame, Waiting Games -

Hello once again!

Tis another day, tis another adventure! My own began strangely, which is by now, somewhat a normal state of being. It began with having to bed overnight in another city, due to the length of time required in my current task. So I awoke, checked on my valiant steed Molasses, and decided to have a look about this new locale. Where apparently I am already known! Or seem to have a reputation of some ilk which was more surprising to myself than any other.

Whilst setting out in my exploratory fashion I heard my name called out by what seemed to be a messenger. And then another. Followed by another. Apparently they all had been looking for me for "some time". I did not believe I was difficult to find, having been in only a single region up and until this point. Moreover, given my usual pace of action, I am not particularly hurried nor embarked on any great business of import typically. But apparently, I am a difficult person to locate. (I should take steps to remedy this in the future.)

I took a moment to read through the messages, which were indeed addressed to me in person, penned by people whom I have not once met or indeed, even heard of until that very moment. But they certainly seemed to know of me! Which I found both flattering and worrisome. (Perhaps I should NOT remedy that in the future.) Each message seemed to have a request, some vague while others penned using language which I could only describe as overly dramatic. But even they were to be outdone, as I continued onward through the commons with head bowed, reading my messages when I bumped headlong into yet a 4th messenger who quite literally stepped forward from nothing with even another message. This magical mailman said something about a "Benefactor" and promptly vanished with another flourish. (Given the state of her delivery as well as excessively dramatic appearance and retreat, I promptly moved her request to the very bottom of the stack of requests.)

I pressed on with my day exploring this place called "Elseweyr", something of an amusing name. But not as base as some others I have encountered in my journeys. It was turning into a most pleasant day, the sun was shining, the weather warm, not too humid nor overly dry. Even Molasses seemed to be in the rare good mood! I thought that I have had enough of mysteries for the day, and decided to press on about my business. I decided to proceed with my daily dungeon exploration, closing my eyes in preparation for the magical teleportation. This time however, it was unlike the others I have experienced thus far!

I appeared, alone. Which was most unexpected. I had expected a group to appear with me. In front of me was a strange blue gate, which echoing through I could hear the sounds of battle. I double-timed through the portal, acting with a gut instinct, and sure enough it proved to be correct. I appeared next to the remains of my group. Two of which were in signs of distress, looking to be out of combat for the moment. The third of my companions I caught running in a circle, being chased steadfastly by some sort of beast, larger than as typical. I could see reams and ribbons of her tattered garb swaying from its teeth!

I interposed myself between the distressed woman, and the slavering, nearly waddling creature. And outstretched my shield arm in a "shield punch" in what could only be described as a "lazy" fashion, letting the beasts own inertia do most of the work. With a most satisfying loud ringing sound, I heard that familar sound of meat being slammed with steel. Risking a glance behind myself, the woman had double hopped back and began to weave her spells, looking quite relieved. Looking back forward, the two of us began to battle the beast.

The remaining fight did not last overly long, as the beast looked quite winded from the physical activity. I doubt it was the sort to have to chase its meal, resembling something crocodilian. Large and strong to be sure, but hardly the species noted for speed or endurance. As expected, the beast was slain with little difficulty, its cold reptilian eyes rolling back and glazing over as death clamed it.

The beast dispatched, the woman saw to her other two companions. The three of them seemed to know one another. She was an elf, dressed in a style I can only describe as scandalous. Then was a Nord, who was dressed as described as overcompensating. Lastly was one of the Khajiit, whom was barely dressed at all. (but they had a feline pet companion, which made things most expectedly awkward.) They said they were part of "The Undaunted" and were here on some sort of task. Their previously armored defense expert, (or "tank" as is the common term) seemed unsuited to the task and had left most unexpectedly and at the worst opportune time. I however was familiar with this particular sewer, and confirmed I was acquainted with what was expected of me.

And so we continued onward, working quite well as a team. Foe after foe was dispatched, the trio proving to be most capable and much to my pleasant surprise, logical! (Despite the odd situation of battling alongside someone in their smallclothes, species notwithstanding. It would be odd no matter what race it was.) Eventually we came to a final small flooded area, standing up to our ankles in foul fetid water. There the rumored leader of these vagabonds were, some sort of pirate woman. She turned out to be the excessively flashy sort in battle, spinning, kicking, backflipping. Showy to be sure, but in most situations hardly effective. Suddenly she disappeared to summon some sort of flying phantoms in her place. But I was ready for this. Whipping out my rarely used Staff of Magical Ice, I slammed it onto the ground to both protect my allies as well as gain their attention.

Three times this occurred. However on the third time, the flipping show-boating captain did not reappear. The 4 of us stood on guard, ready for anything. And we waited. And waited, Waited some more. And waited again. We paused to refresh our magical defenses as I slowly scanned the area. First seconds ticked by. And then Minutes. And still, she did not reappear. Feeling quite awkward, I slowly let my shield drop, as if to bait her. And still, nothing. Looking to my squad, they looked as confused and perplexed as myself. We slowly explored the entire flooded cavern, finding nothing. We kept waiting. We began to make small talk amongst ourselves. The Khajiit actually found a fishing spot and started to fish. (While I pondered where they hid a fishing pole on their person.) And still, nothing.

I was nearing the end of my patience. The company was pleasant enough, but surely our foe had fled entirely by now. Then most suddenly, she reappeared! In the exact spot we last saw her, covered entirely in some sort of black shadow. I can only surmise she was using some sort of shadow magic of some ilk and had managed to mess it up somehow, having reappear in exactly the same spot, in the same pose, indeed, even in the same wounded condition as before! I took advantage of her situation by taking a running charge. Over her shoulder I made eye contact with our overcompensating Nord, and we grinned to one another, each of us having exactly the same idea. With a most satisfying titanic crashing, the heavily armored Nord and Myself crashed into one another, my bulwark shield and armor against his breastplate and shield, with our dishonorable ill trained shadow magic using assassin captain trapped between our combined force and bulk. She didn't even have time to let out a whimper before nearly exploding in a red mist, effectively chumming the water. I say it was well earned Karma on her part.

The trio and I then said our farewells and departed, as I mentally paused to reflect that despite the oddities, that was one of the most enjoyable and smoothly flowing groups I had been a part of. I do hope to encounter them again in my travels.

To be continued....

thank you so much for taking the time to write down your thoughts, your words are much appreciated