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Sexist messages increase

L_Nici
L_Nici
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I hadn't had sexist messages since ages, the last time was over 2 years ago, where I got randomly asked very explicit things. I blocked the guy at that time and never had issues till now.
Since a few days I get a huge increase of sexist texts and not just in whisper even in zonechats.

Just today in Cyrodiil people started to tell me to go back to the kitchen and [Snip] after I helped them killing a ballgroup they fought over 30 minutes in 5 seconds. I really don't get why people start to be like that.

In PvE I had similar instances as well, even getting kicked out of group for being a girl, because girls can't play and such things.
This sudden rise of that kind of messages and people feels very uncomfortable.

[Edited for inappropriate content]
Edited by ZOS_Volpe on May 6, 2020 11:24PM
PC|EU
  • ArchMikem
    ArchMikem
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    Brats aren't in School anymore, and Adult Brats who never grew up.
    CP2,100 Master Explorer - AvA Two Star Warlord - Console Peasant - Khajiiti Aficionado - The Clan
    Quest Objective: OMG Go Talk To That Kitty!
  • Davor
    Davor
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    Sadly it's people being bullies being hidden behind a monitor. Not sure how, but this could be reported for bullying.Those people can be banned since it's against Zenimax's policy. You would have to take screen shots of the chat for proof maybe.

    I doubt it would work, but who knows, maybe it will.
    Not my quote but I love this saying

    "I would pay It for support. But since they choosed we are just numbers and not customers, i dont mind if game and zos goes to oblivion"
  • Mindcr0w
    Mindcr0w
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    It's likely mostly due to Covid.

    More people playing due to quarantine + people being extra frustrated due to quarantine = perfect recipe for *** behavior.

    Keep on blocking the offenders and try to brush it off because it is likely to get worse before it gets better. 🤷‍♂️
    Edited by Mindcr0w on May 6, 2020 8:23PM
  • daim
    daim
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    Disgusting behavior.
    ""I am that which grips the heart in fright, hearkens night and silences the light." It was written on my sword, long…long ago." ―Ajunta Pall
    PC|EU
  • rexagamemnon
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    I’ve always been a beaver cleaver guy myself, but that kind of behavior is wrong. I may have been raised and personally believe in more “traditional” gender roles but thats ridiculas. Just because you are a girl doesn’t mean you cant enjoy some time on a video game if you want. I work, and my wife stays home as a wife and mother. Thats how we do things. But if all my chores and obligations are done then i earned the right to unwind infront of the xbox or tv, and same for my wife.
    I just happen to be lucky in that my wife doesn’t care for video games😂.
    Ive seen lots of girls kickass in pvp and pve, so if you have guys being like that and you havent done anything to provoke them, then im sorry that happened to you.
  • Spacemonkey
    Spacemonkey
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    Mindcr0w wrote: »
    It's likely mostly due to Covid.

    More people playing due to quarantine + people being extra frustrated due to quarantine = perfect recipe for *** behavior.

    Keep on blocking the offenders and try to brush it off because it is likely to get worse before it gets better. 🤷‍♂️

    Was thinking the same thing. It shouldnt be a thing, but it is sadly. :/ Block'em and I hope you find a cool group to play with that you wont' have to worry about.
  • L_Nici
    L_Nici
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    Oh it is not really the traditional gender roles that bother me with those messages, its more the increase of them and the downgrading nature. It is one thing to believe into traditional roles but actively attacking someone with it is not very nice.
    PC|EU
  • Isarii
    Isarii
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    I know a lot of people just turn off zone chat in MMOs these days - granted that's not an ideal solution, especially in Cyrodiil.

    I gotta admit though, when I switch to my chat tab that doesn't have it, I sure don't feel like I'm missing out on anything of value by not being able to see the dumbest people alive talking about politics.
    Edited by Isarii on May 6, 2020 9:18PM
    Isarii Aloroth - PC-NA | Ebonheart Pact | Dunmer | Magicka Nightblade
  • rexagamemnon
    rexagamemnon
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    Isarii wrote: »
    I know a lot of people just turn off zone chat in MMOs these days - granted that's not an ideal solution, especially in Cyrodiil.

    I gotta admit though, when I switch to my chat tab that doesn't have it, I sure don't like I'm missing out on anything of value by not being able to see the dumbest people alive talking about politics.

    Definitely not ideal, i mostly go solo because of the “clickyness” its a lot like high school, i cant stand it. Alot of people in pvp can be very “elitist”. I haven’t had many bad experiences myself in pvp. But alot of those same guys are guys who will kick you from a group in pve in a heartbeat if you arent over 50-60k dps.
  • worrallj
    worrallj
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    Personally I never encountered any unsavory characters on ESO. They're all thoughtful and mature people.

    🤪
  • Ratzkifal
    Ratzkifal
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    Not that it would excuse any of their behavior or anything, but I wonder how these people even find out you are a girl?
    Do they just assume you are a girl because you are bad (in their eyes)? That would be even more messed up I feel.

    Or are we only talking about consoles here? I heard they only have voice chat, which would explain why they know...
    On PC the worst behavior I've seen was people hitting on you because your character is attractive, but that happened to me only once in 5 years and there was nothing sexist about that either. It was just ... creepy I guess.
    This Bosmer was tortured to death. There is nothing left to be done.
  • Radiance
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    Hi, again! I get this from time to time when ppl find out I'm a Woman which Is why I don't volunteer the information bc I'm not here to meet romantic interests, it doesn't matter.

    It is well established that the internet is a toxic place and ESO is no exception. PVP and vet content are the worst places for this so be prepared, pick your battles when you hear some sexist stuff bc I hate to break it to you but you are not going to be the one to undo a lifetime of some rando's conditioning toward repulsive behavior.

    And more often than not it is just some little boys way of finding comradery with their Dude-Bros at your expense so don't give them the rise they are looking for...

    There are Guilds many other places with kind and compassionate communities but Vet and PVP content are not among them.

    EDIT:

    Actually, I take that last bit back about vet and PVP! It is all dependent on the people you surround yourself with. If you don't go in with a group of familiar people you never know what you're gonna get.

    Just don't make yourself a focal point and try to separate yourself from the group and expect special treatment bc you're a girl or they will give it to you in the least pleasant way.


    When you do inevitably run into these scenarios don't give them what they want and play victim. When they give you crap, throw it right back.
    Edited by Radiance on May 6, 2020 9:47PM
  • L_Nici
    L_Nici
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    Oh no, propably they see it on my ID, its clearly female. I have a good share of people who assume me to be male as well, even though of the ID. Also I don't keep it secret, if people start calling me he I correct them most of the time. And most people are nice either way, its just an increase of sexist messages lately.
    Edited by L_Nici on May 6, 2020 9:49PM
    PC|EU
  • Ohtimbar
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    I’ve also noticed a marked increase in toxicity. I always report such things whenever possible. Ignoring that sort of behaviour just emboldens the cretins.
    forever stuck in combat
  • Lady_Sleepless
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    Sadly it happens when the kids are out of school. Move on and try to ignore it.
  • xXMeowMeowXx
    xXMeowMeowXx
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    L_Nici wrote: »
    I hadn't had sexist messages since ages, the last time was over 2 years ago, where I got randomly asked very explicit things. I blocked the guy at that time and never had issues till now.
    Since a few days I get a huge increase of sexist texts and not just in whisper even in zonechats.

    Just today in Cyrodiil people started to tell me to go back to the kitchen and [Snip], after I helped them killing a ballgroup they fought over 30 minutes in 5 seconds. I really don't get why people start to be like that.

    In PvE I had similar instances as well, even getting kicked out of group for being a girl, because girls can't play and such things.
    This sudden rise of that kind of messages and people feels very uncomfortable.
    [Edited for inappropriate content]

    Yeapers, got the same thing in PvP from the start. Stalkers are the worst. :s

    At first It got so bad I had to remove all my social accounts and my instagram profile. Even had to set up all new private accounts.

    Basic trash talk in Cyro is fine.

    Lots of my friends are great fun in PvP and it is much better now after years of playing. Except for the performance xD

    Sadly, I probably got use to the crude things.

    Just separate your irl info or pics that people can see. So they can’t contact you or find you through your social media. Make sure your close friends know not to give out anything if someone asks. We have a code word for our protection and a small all girls only PvP guild.

    Sorry you’re going through this crap too @L_Nici





    Edited by ZOS_Volpe on May 6, 2020 11:26PM
  • Sleep724
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    Not saying you but at least on console I’ve noticed many women make it a point to tell everyone either in their gamer tag and their character that they are a woman. While there’s nothing wrong with that obviously and it should be encouraged, it’s just something to be aware of if one doesn’t want to be noticed.
  • idk
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    Davor wrote: »
    Sadly it's people being bullies being hidden behind a monitor. Not sure how, but this could be reported for bullying.Those people can be banned since it's against Zenimax's policy. You would have to take screen shots of the chat for proof maybe.

    I doubt it would work, but who knows, maybe it will.

    Pretty much this. If it hits a certain threshold Zos would likely take action. Though each of us have different thoughts of where that threshold should be.

    Take SS every time you report them just to make sure you have evidence though Zos should be able to see chat history.

    Also, do not reply. Do not reply at all when people say stupid things. They are ignorant kids leading pathetic lives if they get their jollies treating people like this.
  • Klad
    Klad
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    The CSM's could of cared less when folks were getting death threats for the major sin of riding a radiant Apex mount.

    No reason to think they will do anything about this. Personally I get raked over the coals daily about everything from my perceived age to my perceived race and Gender


    Nice to know we finally have equality huh?
  • L_Nici
    L_Nici
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    @xXMeowMeowXx They can't really find me on other platforms, with that I was always very careful, I know that some people can connect my Forum Account to my ID, but besides that there are really no connection points.

    I sadly never really got connections to all girl guilds or code words or stuff like that.
    Edited by L_Nici on May 6, 2020 10:08PM
    PC|EU
  • lucky_Sage
    lucky_Sage
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    I use to play with this girl and she’d would have people ask for pictures of her feet
    DC PC NA
    Magdk - main
    Stamcro - alt

    AD PS4 NA -retired (PC runs way better to play on console)
    magdk
    magblade
    stamplar
    magden
    magsorc

  • Ackwalan
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    Often times in zone chat, it is not out of the blue. One person starts something, then another escalates it, then the first takes it even farther. Sooner or later the talk gets really rude and somebody gets a black eye.
  • L_Nici
    L_Nici
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    @Sleep724 I don't want to hide it in the end, I am me afterall, to hide myself feels like accepting defeat.
    PC|EU
  • ku5h
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    In 6 years playing this game, I have never seen this kind of talk in zone chats.
    If you took screenshots of those messages and you report them providing said messages, I'm 99% sure those accounts would be banned.
    I got multiple temp bans on forum for barely offensive posts, so if they follow the same rules in game, yea I'm sure they'll get the kick.
  • Isarii
    Isarii
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    That's gonna be a yikes from me.
    Isarii Aloroth - PC-NA | Ebonheart Pact | Dunmer | Magicka Nightblade
  • L_Nici
    L_Nici
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    @ZeroXFF Believe me, I can hold my own. I can run Dungeons solo (as long as I stay normal) if I want to, I don't need anyone to carry me and absolutely not because of my gender. The reason I gave no context is simple, I recall multiple instances from several days now and not just one specific event. And as mentioned earlier my ID clearly states a gender.

    To get a context on the recent one (which btw is even quoted by you) I killed of a Ballgroup in 5 seconds which the alliance fought over half an hour and asked in chat, why they took so long with that, the reply was already go back to the kitchen. There is not more to it, just straight up. I haven't mentioned my gender or anything else.
    Edited by L_Nici on May 6, 2020 10:18PM
    PC|EU
  • Ackwalan
    Ackwalan
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    L_Nici wrote: »
    @ZeroXFF Believe me, I can hold my own. I can run Dungeons solo (as long as I stay normal) if I want to, I don't need anyone to carry me and absolutely not because of my gender. The reason I gave no context is simple, I recall multiple instances from several days now and not just one specific event.

    To get a context on the recent one: I killed of a Ballgroup in 5 seconds which the alliance fought over half an hour and asked in chat, why they took so long with that, the reply was already go back to the kitchen. There is not more to it, just straight up. I haven't mentioned my gender or anything else.

    I'm calling bull on that. No single player is going to kill a ball group in 5 seconds when another group has been fighting them for an hour. You may have used an alt 5 seconds before they died, but you didn't kill the group. 2nd, you started the trash talk, if you don't want to be subject to trash talk, don't start it. Let me guess, your comment was along the lines of "a girl had to save you" or something like that.
  • L_Nici
    L_Nici
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    @Ackwalan I never said I have done it alone, and no I haven't said anything like that.
    PC|EU
  • BackStabeth
    BackStabeth
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    L_Nici wrote: »
    I hadn't had sexist messages since ages, the last time was over 2 years ago, where I got randomly asked very explicit things. I blocked the guy at that time and never had issues till now.
    Since a few days I get a huge increase of sexist texts and not just in whisper even in zonechats.

    Just today in Cyrodiil people started to tell me to go back to the kitchen and suck their balls, after I helped them killing a ballgroup they fought over 30 minutes in 5 seconds. I really don't get why people start to be like that.

    In PvE I had similar instances as well, even getting kicked out of group for being a girl, because girls can't play and such things.
    This sudden rise of that kind of messages and people feels very uncomfortable.

    As a male I can tell you I also feel the same, I am concerned over the sexist comments by females, it was old and tired a long time ago and just seem to be getting a lot worse lately. I am also concerned by the overly sexually aggressive comments made in zone chat, specially people looking for sexual attention and using suggestive names, and saying things in zone chat to get that negative sexually related attention they seem to be craving so badly.

    Many times people present the worst possible version of themselves because they are afforded a certain level of anonymity in online zone chat. These same people are not a different person in real life, they are just behaving differently. When people are held accountable for what they do or say, most of the time they behave in a civilized way. When there is no accountability, they many times with express how they truly think and feel without reservation.

    But do not worry, there is a very easy way to hold these people accountable. Take screen shots of what they say, and turn them over to ZoS. Eventually, if everyone does their part, these people will be held accountable and no longer will affect anyone in any negative way. But that's the key, you have got to report these people every single time they behave in an inappropriate way, or else they will just simply continue.

    It has nothing to do with anyone's political or religious belief, it has nothing to do with anyone's gender or sexual identity or race or skin color or what language they speak. It simply has to do with people behaving in a civilized manor and treating their fellow human being with respect and dignity. If you cannot simply do those things, you should be fired. Just like in Europe in past history, when someone behaved inappropriately, the villagers burned their house down and chased them off, out of their community. That was called "being fired". We need to practice that in this game, when someone behaves in a way that is not appropriate, chase them off by reporting them. Set fire to them by reporting them. Let them know there is no room for bad behavior.

    I doubt people will actually do anything, mostly it seems that people join in instead, and harp on people who would report bad behavior.

    Only other option is to disable zone chat totally... Then you won't be subjected to any of the garbage, ever. Or just simply stop playing the game...
  • Vea
    Vea
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    I got some too in the past. Take a screenshot and report them, then block and never come back.
    At the beginning the nickname was not visible under character name and i was stupid enough to use my real one :| .
    Don't feel offended by small , frustrated people. They are a minority. However i feel sorry that these things still can happen.

    Edited by Vea on May 6, 2020 10:47PM
This discussion has been closed.