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Thieving - A rant

hope0burns
hope0burns
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So, last night I had spent hours going about from zone to zone thieving. I had upgraded my pickpocket and was doing really well, hardly getting caught. After four hours of doing this I had a fair bit of loot and decided to log off somewhere safe in my last target location.

I log on today, no bounty because the small bounty I had faded over night. Woo! Great, right? I finish off the thieving quest that had spurred this stealing spree in the first place with a bounty of around 1.2k that had eventually faded to like 900 something by the time I got near the sneaky-stealy guild house in Hew's and I'm nearly home free.. then.. a gosh darn lantern guard. Not just any, oh no. This is the freakin' T-1000 of lantern guards.

Naturally I choose to flee. "I'm not letting this guard take my hard earned legitimate money AND my hours of work!" I said to myself. Now, looking back, sure. I realize there's a way into the sneak-stealy guild house from outside the city. I had totally forgotten about that at the time, use one entrance so often you tend to forget any others exist.

Anyway! I start off, they stun me, I break it, they snare me, I blue-betty away! And just keep spamming that, getting heals and insta condition removal all the way.. then she crits me.. for 10k. I keep spamming blue-betty to heal and try to run away but.. then she crits me.. again.. for 10k. And I'm dead. So very... very dead.

I am... taken aback. I just got hit on by and then subsequently killed by the luckiest got dang lantern guard in the world. Like.. this game.. this game waves this cool fun looking content in front of my face. It's all "Heeeey, Hope. Come heeeere. Look at this! You've been avoiding this stuff since you started playing but doesn't it look like fun? What else do you have to do other than become a murderer? Be a thief! You'll have fun. Promise." So I go in, start doing the thing.. and it punches my face in. I get up and am all "What the heck, game?!" And it's just "Oh, sorry. Got a little too into it. Try again. I PROMISE you'll have fun." So I try again, this time being real careful, taking hours to steal a whole bunch of stuff to make up for what I lost before.. And right before I cross the finish line the game decides to crack me in the back of the head, flip me over, and beat my face in with a spiked mace, all the while laughing "YOU BELIEVED ME?! YOU FOOL!"

So I respawn at the nearest waypoint. No use in wasting one of my countless soulgems when I know that all the bounty money AND my loot is just.. gone. POOOF. Sent straight into oblivion's trash hole, never to be seen again. Oh, yes. It takes all the most fun parts of other ES games.. and then makes them terrible. You can't get your loot back, there's no "evidence" chest. You can't get your money back for that same reason, either. No, no. You died, they looted you. That's it, you lose. You big LOSER.

It never doesn't feel dirty and wrong to lose *purely* to luck. To have an npc waylay you just because they got lucky in this one singular encounter. Now, normally, I can enact some petty revenge when this happens and smash the NPC's face in after I respawn and the face of every single one of its respawns for the next hour or two if I'm feeling really REALLY petty.. but not with T-1000 lantern guard over here. NOPE. She's INVINCIBLE. Even pickpocketing her is impossible because she's Lantern Guard! Breaker of stealth, destroyer of faces, and deleter of all precious items!

So, with no other recourse than to just... go out.. and spend hours attempting to recover what I had lost and then spend even more time attempting to actually make a profit after recovering losses or just ragequitting.. I decided to ragequit. Which the game doesn't let you do in the normal way, either. Because.. of course it doesn't. Alt+f4? Oh, no. Not gonna let you do that! So I just freed my mouse cursor and went to my task manager and ended the whole freakin' process tree out of petty spite.

But still, the rage boiled. The sheer audacity of the game to pound my face in in such a manner left me feeling bitter so I had to share it.. I had to get it off my chest. To tell the whole wide world just how upset the whole ordeal had made me. Where once i was having fun, feeling good about a game and investing time into it I was left broken, angry, and feeling betrayed, much like your cat when you sneakily put a cucumber directly behind it while it's otherwise preoccupied.

So.. I feel a little better now. It was nice to share, I NEEDED to share and NEEDED to do so to people who would actually understand what in the high heavens I was feeling and what I had done. Yes, it's true. As I had touched on earlier. If I had just gone in the sneaky-stealy backdoor instead of trying to go through the whole stupid city this would never have happened in the first got dang place. I suppose I learned a valuable lesson, to remember that shortcuts are real things and the waypoint is placed conveniently outside the city walls for a good reason.

Never in my life have I been so punished by an MMO for engaging in a whole part of said MMO that I had to pay for just to access. I can't remember the last time a MMO illicited any sort of real emotion out of me. I'd have preferred it not be total and complete silent rage, but, hey. At least it was something?

Anyway. Not looking for sympathy or to get anything back or the like. Just really needed to share my thoughts and feelings, to vent and get this off my chest and do so to people that'd actually understand what it was I had done and gone through, even if they, themselves, had never been so dumb as to go through a similar thing. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading! I doubt it was easy and you probably have already called me an idiot multiple times at this point but, hey. We all have one of "those" moments, amirite? ;p
  • Jeremy
    Jeremy
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    hope0burns wrote: »
    So, last night I had spent hours going about from zone to zone thieving. I had upgraded my pickpocket and was doing really well, hardly getting caught. After four hours of doing this I had a fair bit of loot and decided to log off somewhere safe in my last target location.

    I log on today, no bounty because the small bounty I had faded over night. Woo! Great, right? I finish off the thieving quest that had spurred this stealing spree in the first place with a bounty of around 1.2k that had eventually faded to like 900 something by the time I got near the sneaky-stealy guild house in Hew's and I'm nearly home free.. then.. a gosh darn lantern guard. Not just any, oh no. This is the freakin' T-1000 of lantern guards.

    Naturally I choose to flee. "I'm not letting this guard take my hard earned legitimate money AND my hours of work!" I said to myself. Now, looking back, sure. I realize there's a way into the sneak-stealy guild house from outside the city. I had totally forgotten about that at the time, use one entrance so often you tend to forget any others exist.

    Anyway! I start off, they stun me, I break it, they snare me, I blue-betty away! And just keep spamming that, getting heals and insta condition removal all the way.. then she crits me.. for 10k. I keep spamming blue-betty to heal and try to run away but.. then she crits me.. again.. for 10k. And I'm dead. So very... very dead.

    I am... taken aback. I just got hit on by and then subsequently killed by the luckiest got dang lantern guard in the world. Like.. this game.. this game waves this cool fun looking content in front of my face. It's all "Heeeey, Hope. Come heeeere. Look at this! You've been avoiding this stuff since you started playing but doesn't it look like fun? What else do you have to do other than become a murderer? Be a thief! You'll have fun. Promise." So I go in, start doing the thing.. and it punches my face in. I get up and am all "What the heck, game?!" And it's just "Oh, sorry. Got a little too into it. Try again. I PROMISE you'll have fun." So I try again, this time being real careful, taking hours to steal a whole bunch of stuff to make up for what I lost before.. And right before I cross the finish line the game decides to crack me in the back of the head, flip me over, and beat my face in with a spiked mace, all the while laughing "YOU BELIEVED ME?! YOU FOOL!"

    So I respawn at the nearest waypoint. No use in wasting one of my countless soulgems when I know that all the bounty money AND my loot is just.. gone. POOOF. Sent straight into oblivion's trash hole, never to be seen again. Oh, yes. It takes all the most fun parts of other ES games.. and then makes them terrible. You can't get your loot back, there's no "evidence" chest. You can't get your money back for that same reason, either. No, no. You died, they looted you. That's it, you lose. You big LOSER.

    It never doesn't feel dirty and wrong to lose *purely* to luck. To have an npc waylay you just because they got lucky in this one singular encounter. Now, normally, I can enact some petty revenge when this happens and smash the NPC's face in after I respawn and the face of every single one of its respawns for the next hour or two if I'm feeling really REALLY petty.. but not with T-1000 lantern guard over here. NOPE. She's INVINCIBLE. Even pickpocketing her is impossible because she's Lantern Guard! Breaker of stealth, destroyer of faces, and deleter of all precious items!

    So, with no other recourse than to just... go out.. and spend hours attempting to recover what I had lost and then spend even more time attempting to actually make a profit after recovering losses or just ragequitting.. I decided to ragequit. Which the game doesn't let you do in the normal way, either. Because.. of course it doesn't. Alt+f4? Oh, no. Not gonna let you do that! So I just freed my mouse cursor and went to my task manager and ended the whole freakin' process tree out of petty spite.

    But still, the rage boiled. The sheer audacity of the game to pound my face in in such a manner left me feeling bitter so I had to share it.. I had to get it off my chest. To tell the whole wide world just how upset the whole ordeal had made me. Where once i was having fun, feeling good about a game and investing time into it I was left broken, angry, and feeling betrayed, much like your cat when you sneakily put a cucumber directly behind it while it's otherwise preoccupied.

    So.. I feel a little better now. It was nice to share, I NEEDED to share and NEEDED to do so to people who would actually understand what in the high heavens I was feeling and what I had done. Yes, it's true. As I had touched on earlier. If I had just gone in the sneaky-stealy backdoor instead of trying to go through the whole stupid city this would never have happened in the first got dang place. I suppose I learned a valuable lesson, to remember that shortcuts are real things and the waypoint is placed conveniently outside the city walls for a good reason.

    Never in my life have I been so punished by an MMO for engaging in a whole part of said MMO that I had to pay for just to access. I can't remember the last time a MMO illicited any sort of real emotion out of me. I'd have preferred it not be total and complete silent rage, but, hey. At least it was something?

    Anyway. Not looking for sympathy or to get anything back or the like. Just really needed to share my thoughts and feelings, to vent and get this off my chest and do so to people that'd actually understand what it was I had done and gone through, even if they, themselves, had never been so dumb as to go through a similar thing. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading! I doubt it was easy and you probably have already called me an idiot multiple times at this point but, hey. We all have one of "those" moments, amirite? ;p

    I generally find that it's a bad idea to sneak around towns with a bounty so I only do thieving while I'm bounty free. It's a lot easier to get into position to steal something that way.

    Sucks what happened to you. That would have likely annoyed me as well. But as you say - at least you learned a valuable lesson. So it wasn't a total loss. There are no lessons learned like those learned the hard way.
    Edited by Jeremy on March 12, 2019 5:06PM
  • Ogou
    Ogou
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    The fact that you were so emotionally invested is an amazing thing to me.
    You can't really have those moments of great joy when you escape if there wasn't at least some chances that things would go south.
  • VaranisArano
    VaranisArano
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    That sucks.

    Of course, unlike in all the other TES games, the loot you can steal also respawns in 5 to 10 minutes. Sure, you won't get the same stuff, but you can quickly accumulate new hordes of loot while dealing with the risk-reward of thieving.
  • mazeikeen
    mazeikeen
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    I actually enjoy the unpredictable nature of stealing in this game. Like, you think you're gonna break into that strongbox while the blacksmith's back is turned? Okay, just be careful, because Mr. Random NPC could turn the corner at any moment and call the guard.

    Thievery is a high-risk profession. Even a cautious thief can take a wrong turn and come face to face with a guard. Know your routes and stick to the shadows. And when that fails, pop an expedition potion :p
    XBOX-NA / PC-NA
    Covenant at heart.
  • Bouldercleave
    Bouldercleave
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    hope0burns wrote: »

    I log on today, no bounty because the small bounty I had faded over night. Woo! Great, right? I finish off the thieving quest that had spurred this stealing spree in the first place with a bounty of around 1.2k that had eventually faded to like 900 something by the time I got near the sneaky-stealy guild house in Hew's and I'm nearly home free.. then.. a gosh darn lantern guard. Not just any, oh no. This is the freakin' T-1000 of lantern guards.

    This part makes no sense.

    1. Did you have a bounty or not? You start your statement with I log in, no bounty. Then in the next sentance , you have a bounty of 900. What am I missing?
    2. Why were you sneaking around Hew's Bane with a bounty? Always run from the wayshrine to the outside entrance of the thieve's guild. Those lantern guards are rough.
  • VaranisArano
    VaranisArano
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    hope0burns wrote: »

    I log on today, no bounty because the small bounty I had faded over night. Woo! Great, right? I finish off the thieving quest that had spurred this stealing spree in the first place with a bounty of around 1.2k that had eventually faded to like 900 something by the time I got near the sneaky-stealy guild house in Hew's and I'm nearly home free.. then.. a gosh darn lantern guard. Not just any, oh no. This is the freakin' T-1000 of lantern guards.

    This part makes no sense.

    1. Did you have a bounty or not? You start your statement with I log in, no bounty. Then in the next sentance , you have a bounty of 900. What am I missing?
    2. Why were you sneaking around Hew's Bane with a bounty? Always run from the wayshrine to the outside entrance of the thieve's guild. Those lantern guards are rough.

    1. "I log on today, no bounty because the small bounty I had faded over night. Woo! Great, right? I finish off the thieving quest that had spurred this stealing spree in the first place with a bounty of around 1.2k that had eventually faded to like 900 something by the time I got near the sneaky-stealy guild house...

    2. "Now, looking back, sure. I realize there's a way into the sneak-stealy guild house from outside the city. I had totally forgotten about that at the time, use one entrance so often you tend to forget any others exist."
    Edited by VaranisArano on March 12, 2019 5:24PM
  • Bouldercleave
    Bouldercleave
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    hope0burns wrote: »

    I log on today, no bounty because the small bounty I had faded over night. Woo! Great, right? I finish off the thieving quest that had spurred this stealing spree in the first place with a bounty of around 1.2k that had eventually faded to like 900 something by the time I got near the sneaky-stealy guild house in Hew's and I'm nearly home free.. then.. a gosh darn lantern guard. Not just any, oh no. This is the freakin' T-1000 of lantern guards.

    This part makes no sense.

    1. Did you have a bounty or not? You start your statement with I log in, no bounty. Then in the next sentance , you have a bounty of 900. What am I missing?
    2. Why were you sneaking around Hew's Bane with a bounty? Always run from the wayshrine to the outside entrance of the thieve's guild. Those lantern guards are rough.

    1. "I log on today, no bounty because the small bounty I had faded over night. Woo! Great, right? I finish off the thieving quest that had spurred this stealing spree in the first place with a bounty of around 1.2k that had eventually faded to like 900 something by the time I got near the sneaky-stealy guild house...

    2. "Now, looking back, sure. I realize there's a way into the sneak-stealy guild house from outside the city. I had totally forgotten about that at the time, use one entrance so often you tend to forget any others exist."

    I get it now. I didn't realize that he/she collected more bounty finishing the quest. I read that differently.

    Makes much more sense now.


    Edited by Bouldercleave on March 12, 2019 5:27PM
  • jircris11
    jircris11
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    hope0burns wrote: »
    So, last night I had spent hours going about from zone to zone thieving. I had upgraded my pickpocket and was doing really well, hardly getting caught. After four hours of doing this I had a fair bit of loot and decided to log off somewhere safe in my last target location.

    I log on today, no bounty because the small bounty I had faded over night. Woo! Great, right? I finish off the thieving quest that had spurred this stealing spree in the first place with a bounty of around 1.2k that had eventually faded to like 900 something by the time I got near the sneaky-stealy guild house in Hew's and I'm nearly home free.. then.. a gosh darn lantern guard. Not just any, oh no. This is the freakin' T-1000 of lantern guards.

    Naturally I choose to flee. "I'm not letting this guard take my hard earned legitimate money AND my hours of work!" I said to myself. Now, looking back, sure. I realize there's a way into the sneak-stealy guild house from outside the city. I had totally forgotten about that at the time, use one entrance so often you tend to forget any others exist.

    Anyway! I start off, they stun me, I break it, they snare me, I blue-betty away! And just keep spamming that, getting heals and insta condition removal all the way.. then she crits me.. for 10k. I keep spamming blue-betty to heal and try to run away but.. then she crits me.. again.. for 10k. And I'm dead. So very... very dead.

    I am... taken aback. I just got hit on by and then subsequently killed by the luckiest got dang lantern guard in the world. Like.. this game.. this game waves this cool fun looking content in front of my face. It's all "Heeeey, Hope. Come heeeere. Look at this! You've been avoiding this stuff since you started playing but doesn't it look like fun? What else do you have to do other than become a murderer? Be a thief! You'll have fun. Promise." So I go in, start doing the thing.. and it punches my face in. I get up and am all "What the heck, game?!" And it's just "Oh, sorry. Got a little too into it. Try again. I PROMISE you'll have fun." So I try again, this time being real careful, taking hours to steal a whole bunch of stuff to make up for what I lost before.. And right before I cross the finish line the game decides to crack me in the back of the head, flip me over, and beat my face in with a spiked mace, all the while laughing "YOU BELIEVED ME?! YOU FOOL!"

    So I respawn at the nearest waypoint. No use in wasting one of my countless soulgems when I know that all the bounty money AND my loot is just.. gone. POOOF. Sent straight into oblivion's trash hole, never to be seen again. Oh, yes. It takes all the most fun parts of other ES games.. and then makes them terrible. You can't get your loot back, there's no "evidence" chest. You can't get your money back for that same reason, either. No, no. You died, they looted you. That's it, you lose. You big LOSER.

    It never doesn't feel dirty and wrong to lose *purely* to luck. To have an npc waylay you just because they got lucky in this one singular encounter. Now, normally, I can enact some petty revenge when this happens and smash the NPC's face in after I respawn and the face of every single one of its respawns for the next hour or two if I'm feeling really REALLY petty.. but not with T-1000 lantern guard over here. NOPE. She's INVINCIBLE. Even pickpocketing her is impossible because she's Lantern Guard! Breaker of stealth, destroyer of faces, and deleter of all precious items!

    So, with no other recourse than to just... go out.. and spend hours attempting to recover what I had lost and then spend even more time attempting to actually make a profit after recovering losses or just ragequitting.. I decided to ragequit. Which the game doesn't let you do in the normal way, either. Because.. of course it doesn't. Alt+f4? Oh, no. Not gonna let you do that! So I just freed my mouse cursor and went to my task manager and ended the whole freakin' process tree out of petty spite.

    But still, the rage boiled. The sheer audacity of the game to pound my face in in such a manner left me feeling bitter so I had to share it.. I had to get it off my chest. To tell the whole wide world just how upset the whole ordeal had made me. Where once i was having fun, feeling good about a game and investing time into it I was left broken, angry, and feeling betrayed, much like your cat when you sneakily put a cucumber directly behind it while it's otherwise preoccupied.

    So.. I feel a little better now. It was nice to share, I NEEDED to share and NEEDED to do so to people who would actually understand what in the high heavens I was feeling and what I had done. Yes, it's true. As I had touched on earlier. If I had just gone in the sneaky-stealy backdoor instead of trying to go through the whole stupid city this would never have happened in the first got dang place. I suppose I learned a valuable lesson, to remember that shortcuts are real things and the waypoint is placed conveniently outside the city walls for a good reason.

    Never in my life have I been so punished by an MMO for engaging in a whole part of said MMO that I had to pay for just to access. I can't remember the last time a MMO illicited any sort of real emotion out of me. I'd have preferred it not be total and complete silent rage, but, hey. At least it was something?

    Anyway. Not looking for sympathy or to get anything back or the like. Just really needed to share my thoughts and feelings, to vent and get this off my chest and do so to people that'd actually understand what it was I had done and gone through, even if they, themselves, had never been so dumb as to go through a similar thing. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading! I doubt it was easy and you probably have already called me an idiot multiple times at this point but, hey. We all have one of "those" moments, amirite? ;p

    Guards actually have a one shot kill skill they use I thi k after 30 seconds
    IGN: Ki'rah
    Khajiit/Vampire
    DC/AD faction/NA server.
    RPer
  • Mrsinister2
    Mrsinister2
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    Running and spamming blue Betty is not a good tactic to get away from any gaurds.

    I've been caught with a ton of loot before to when I first started thieving so I do feel your pain.
  • Hallothiel
    Hallothiel
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    NEVER try and get back through a town to a thieves guild. Just not worth it.

    Either work out route that avoids guards (port to abah’s landing wayshrine or have a house such as Sweet Creek that enables you to exit to guild entrance easily). Or jump in water to escape.

    It may be fecking annoying but hey, don’t steal if you don’t understand the risk (or don’t get caught 😉)
  • commodore64
    commodore64
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    'got dang' you were unlucky
  • Bekkael
    Bekkael
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    Really nice rant. 10/10

    Wanna know something that boils my kettle? After you finish the tedious, god-awful, loooooong TG questline, complete with all those painful chores like you described, you get the Fence Assistant. Something that I was really excited about, as it would be such a time saver. Instead of going through all those loading screens in and out of Outlaw Refuges, I could just summon the fence to sell my items to. Brilliant!

    Except that she charges a 35% cut into your profits! :o So, all that time and effort, just for me to be able to summon a greedy witch of a cat, who wants to take a ridiculous amount of my ill-gotten gold. If that's not a slap in the face and a 'screw you' for going to all the effort and tedium of completing Thieves Guild, then I don't know what is. I did those quests on one character, and now that I know the payoff isn't worth it, I won't do it on any others. Just....lame. If it was a 15% cut, okay, I could stomach it, but 35%?!

    giphy.gif


    EDIT to add: And she doesn't launder either. Only fence.
    Edited by Bekkael on March 12, 2019 6:43PM
    ~~ Lady Gamer ~~ ♥ ~~ Xbox NA ~~
  • Zathras
    Zathras
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    hope0burns wrote: »
    If I had just gone in the sneaky-stealy backdoor instead of trying to go through the whole stupid city this would never have happened in the first got dang place. I suppose I learned a valuable lesson, to remember that shortcuts are real things and the waypoint is placed conveniently outside the city walls for a good reason.

    Been there, done that. It's not a fun lesson to learn. Eventually, I just bought a Snugpod. A free teleport, then a hop, skip, and a jump to a Thieve's Den.
    For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. - Douglas Adams

    It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too. - Douglas Adams
  • Neoealth
    Neoealth
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    That does sound rage inducing. I had a similar experience when I first started to steal items in the game.

    Now I tend to keep some invisibility potions on me, they are a life saver! If you get into a sticky situation with a guard and you feel you might end up dying, swig a invisibility potion and it's a easy get away. Well worth the herbs to make them!

  • NoTimeToWait
    NoTimeToWait
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    Happened to me as well. Though I was holding stolen goods amounting to 70k gold at that time (mainly style pages). Got critted and one-shotted by a lantern guard. Since at that time it was around 10% of my total balance, I was quite livid too. That was a good lesson. Which means: don't start doing freaking quests in Hew's bane while holding stuff, that you forgot to vendor, or better yet do not mess with Hew's bane guard on the ground, planks above are for a reason.

    Well, the main problem is that Lantern guards are unproportionally stronger than usual guards. It is especially bad when you enter Hew's bane after some usual zone, where you could spin guards the way you liked
    Ogou wrote: »
    The fact that you were so emotionally invested is an amazing thing to me.
    You can't really have those moments of great joy when you escape if there wasn't at least some chances that things would go south.

    Totally agree. There should be a risk involved. Otherwise it is boring.

    Edited by NoTimeToWait on March 12, 2019 10:09PM
  • Starlock
    Starlock
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    Get best in slot for professional lifetime thievery, and you can sneak around anywhere in the game with a permanent bounty on your character. The guards will never catch you. Ever. The only times my professional theif dies to guards is due to lag/disconnects. You too can learn. Question is, do you want to?
  • Wildberryjack
    Wildberryjack
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    When you have a ton of stolen items and get a bounty in the middle of a city and you don't have any pardons on you, hearth out to one of your homes then go to the nearest refuge to sell your stuff and clear the bounty, then go back. Never risk losing your haul.
    The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. ~Pablo Picasso
  • sevomd69
    sevomd69
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    Just go o the Sentinel Wayshrine in the Desert and go to the Den there...No guards between shrine and door...also in Rawlka if you hug the entrance gate on your left then no guard should see you when going to the thieve's den...

    Also.. escaping a guard is pretty easy...roll dodge his fossilize and find a body of water if you can or just run away...

    Also...if you're intent on thieving a lot... putting a skill point into clemency passive is a good idea...it'll save you when you have a brain flatulence moment and you're holding on to a lot of booty...
  • MartiniDaniels
    MartiniDaniels
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    Btw, bounty is not going anywhere when you are dead, it is taken from your gold. If you have zero gold in inventory bounty will remain. So all those persons who advice to "be simply killed by guard to get rid of bounty", I L-O-L from them.
  • Grandma
    Grandma
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    if thieving was easier what would be the point? the risk and frustration and victory is what makes it rewarding imo
    GH / 3/04/2021 / Elemental Catalyst Necromancer
  • DarcyMardin
    DarcyMardin
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    Best rant of the day. Have an /awesome!
  • jpo
    jpo
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    Dude...you're just a bad thief.

    You let people witness your crimes and then you get caught by guards.

    I'm petitioning the guild to get you tossed.
  • MasterSpatula
    MasterSpatula
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    Starlock wrote: »
    Get best in slot for professional lifetime thievery, and you can sneak around anywhere in the game with a permanent bounty on your character. The guards will never catch you. Ever. The only times my professional theif dies to guards is due to lag/disconnects. You too can learn. Question is, do you want to?

    Lantern Guards break stealth. Try actually reading the OP's post before you break out the judgy-judgy.

    OP, truth is, there's a couple of things going on here. 1. It's undeniable that you made some unwise choices. If you take actually selling your loot seriously, you can't let too much of it pile up in this game. 2. There are many decisions in the design of ESO that can only be described as outright cruel, and I honestly think you encountered at least one of those.
    "A probable impossibility is preferable to an improbable possibility." - Aristotle
  • Sylvermynx
    Sylvermynx
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    The first thing I learned when I found a trove with a really nice item was to scope out where I could go to launder it. So I spent a lot of time on maps.... and then I spent a lot of time getting wayshrines.

    Easiest thing: shrine to Hew's Bane, run to the Outlaw backdoor. Make SURE you don't run past Quen! There's a guard just a bit past her. You WILL get "caught" by that one.

    Not so bad: in Auridon, from the wayshrine at Phaer, run to the backdoor near the Eastshore Islets crafting pod. If you don't have that wayshrine already, and you're AD, just shrine to the Harborage, then head for the backdoor.

    Those are my two go-to options. Ultimately, the important thing is to get all the wayshrines you can ASAP....

    Oh, I should note that those machinations happened before I realized that the guards don't pay any attention to the stuff you take out of Thieves Troves. Which is really weird....
    Edited by Sylvermynx on March 13, 2019 12:26AM
  • Jaraal
    Jaraal
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    Starlock wrote: »
    Get best in slot for professional lifetime thievery, and you can sneak around anywhere in the game with a permanent bounty on your character. The guards will never catch you. Ever. The only times my professional theif dies to guards is due to lag/disconnects. You too can learn. Question is, do you want to?

    This is true. I have five characters with Black Market Mogul many times over, and haven't died to a guard's damage in well over 18 months. Granted, it's gotten a bit more challenging since they removed the root breaking component of Rapid Maneuvers, but you can still roll dodge out of any chains or root. And I NEVER steal inside a room with a door and a guard, lol. It's possible to stun them and cloak, but it's too risky.

    The last time I lost my loot was running from a guard when Summerset first came out and I didn't know my way around Alinor very well and ran off a cliff and died (with a 600k stolen purple plan in my inventory!) So self inflicted death still counts if you have aggro from a guard..... even if he/she never even touches you.
  • Sylvermynx
    Sylvermynx
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    Jaraal wrote: »
    Starlock wrote: »
    Get best in slot for professional lifetime thievery, and you can sneak around anywhere in the game with a permanent bounty on your character. The guards will never catch you. Ever. The only times my professional theif dies to guards is due to lag/disconnects. You too can learn. Question is, do you want to?

    This is true. I have five characters with Black Market Mogul many times over, and haven't died to a guard's damage in well over 18 months. Granted, it's gotten a bit more challenging since they removed the root breaking component of Rapid Maneuvers, but you can still roll dodge out of any chains or root. And I NEVER steal inside a room with a door and a guard, lol. It's possible to stun them and cloak, but it's too risky.

    The last time I lost my loot was running from a guard when Summerset first came out and I didn't know my way around Alinor very well and ran off a cliff and died (with a 600k stolen purple plan in my inventory!) So self inflicted death still counts if you have aggro from a guard..... even if he/she never even touches you.

    Oboy. THAT is painful.
  • Jaraal
    Jaraal
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    Sylvermynx wrote: »
    Jaraal wrote: »
    Starlock wrote: »
    Get best in slot for professional lifetime thievery, and you can sneak around anywhere in the game with a permanent bounty on your character. The guards will never catch you. Ever. The only times my professional theif dies to guards is due to lag/disconnects. You too can learn. Question is, do you want to?

    This is true. I have five characters with Black Market Mogul many times over, and haven't died to a guard's damage in well over 18 months. Granted, it's gotten a bit more challenging since they removed the root breaking component of Rapid Maneuvers, but you can still roll dodge out of any chains or root. And I NEVER steal inside a room with a door and a guard, lol. It's possible to stun them and cloak, but it's too risky.

    The last time I lost my loot was running from a guard when Summerset first came out and I didn't know my way around Alinor very well and ran off a cliff and died (with a 600k stolen purple plan in my inventory!) So self inflicted death still counts if you have aggro from a guard..... even if he/she never even touches you.

    Oboy. THAT is painful.

    I can top that.

    Before they put the Morrowind plans on the writ voucher lottery, I accidentally sold a Telvanni Organic Throne plan (of which I had sold another previously for 750k)... to a fence. And of course, you can't buy back from fences.

    I was not pleased! :)
  • morrowjen
    morrowjen
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    OP I loved reading this! You should consider writing creatively because your descriptions are hilarious and spot on. For most sneaky/thief style players we've all had this one happen (or something similar) to us at one point or another. It still amazes me how ridiculous those lantern guards are. I've gotten to the point tho that if there's something I stole that I want to keep, I travel instantly to a refuge and launder it. If it's a recipe/motif I do the same or if the toon I'm playing needs it I 'consume' it immediately.
  • Sylvermynx
    Sylvermynx
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    Jaraal wrote: »
    Sylvermynx wrote: »
    Jaraal wrote: »
    Starlock wrote: »
    Get best in slot for professional lifetime thievery, and you can sneak around anywhere in the game with a permanent bounty on your character. The guards will never catch you. Ever. The only times my professional theif dies to guards is due to lag/disconnects. You too can learn. Question is, do you want to?

    This is true. I have five characters with Black Market Mogul many times over, and haven't died to a guard's damage in well over 18 months. Granted, it's gotten a bit more challenging since they removed the root breaking component of Rapid Maneuvers, but you can still roll dodge out of any chains or root. And I NEVER steal inside a room with a door and a guard, lol. It's possible to stun them and cloak, but it's too risky.

    The last time I lost my loot was running from a guard when Summerset first came out and I didn't know my way around Alinor very well and ran off a cliff and died (with a 600k stolen purple plan in my inventory!) So self inflicted death still counts if you have aggro from a guard..... even if he/she never even touches you.

    Oboy. THAT is painful.

    I can top that.

    Before they put the Morrowind plans on the writ voucher lottery, I accidentally sold a Telvanni Organic Throne plan (of which I had sold another previously for 750k)... to a fence. And of course, you can't buy back from fences.

    I was not pleased! :)

    Holy crap @Jaraal . That's - like birthing quintuplets the old fashioned way. I'd have run screaming into the night. I might never have come back....
  • FuriousStar
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    When in doubt, find water. Guards stop chasing as soon as you start floating. For your future endeavors.
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