Mutual respect

AlienatedGoat · May 2017

Alhatariel wrote: »

The `F-word` is giving a clear sign of disrecpect to all of us woman.

How is the F-word even...

No, just no.

Magdalina · May 2017

KochDerDamonen wrote: »

@Magdalina Not using 'f' as a filler word to 'look cool'. What's cool about spacing one's speach with filler words. Using 'umm' makes one look a bit slow. 'like' puts one in the 'stuck-in-teens' category. Dead air '...' confuses people into wondering whether the sentence/thought ended. Not spacing at all makes one sound like an off-the-rails train (read: new york speech). And 'f' might put one on the bad side of folks who dont-take-kindly-to-cussin'.

Don't assume people want to be 'edgy' when they have some ingrained filler language. I have long since moved on from the part of my life where I thought people that didn't like 'cursewords' were spineless adult-children. Yet those same people do not often return the favor of giving up the useless offense over minor differences in speech, that we may just speak. You say 'umm', I say 'f-in'.

...but if these are words routinely make up some of your speech all the time in general, what do you do when you wanna vent?

Marabornwingrion · May 2017

Alhatariel wrote: »

Also the use of the `F-word`, a real sign of cultural degradation, can be found almost everywhere in Eso and thats for me the reason that I never use TS, so Ill be spared of hearing it. The `F-word` is giving a clear sign of disrecpect to all of us woman.

What? I'm a woman and I don't feel disrespected.

Saturnana · May 2017

HatchetHaro wrote: »

Alhatariel wrote: »

Also the use of the `F-word`, a real sign of cultural degradation, can be found almost everywhere in Eso and thats for me the reason that I never use TS, so Ill be spared of hearing it. The `F-word` is giving a clear sign of disrecpect to all of us woman.

You're here complaining about people using vulgar language in a forum dedicated to a video game because you're a woman?

Lady, you're no special snowflake. The "f-word" is a gender-neutral verb. It f***s us equally.

^ As a lady, so much this.

Also, I think the problem may not be the use of profanity itself, but the way people react when they're called out on it. For instance, profanity does not become a problem when; person A says something that offends person B, person B tells person A they're offended by what they said, person A reevaluates what they said. Or when person A hears something offensive but chooses to ignore it.

Since profanity is in part based on cultural background and personal frame of reference, we can't expect people to not say or do certain things that may or may not be totally normal to them. We can, however, expect them to react respectfully when someone else lets them know that whatever they're doing is in fact offensive. In my opinion, the problems don't start until above communication goes less than planned and people fall back into the good ol' "you're wrong", "no you're wrong!" discussions.

Runschei · May 2017

Astrid_V wrote: »

Alhatariel wrote: »

Also the use of the `F-word`, a real sign of cultural degradation, can be found almost everywhere in Eso and thats for me the reason that I never use TS, so Ill be spared of hearing it. The `F-word` is giving a clear sign of disrecpect to all of us woman.

What? I'm a woman and I don't feel disrespected.

Heck I agree with you. I use the f-word probably too often myself but I'm ok with it.

KochDerDamonen · May 2017

Magdalina wrote: »

KochDerDamonen wrote: »

@Magdalina Not using 'f' as a filler word to 'look cool'. What's cool about spacing one's speach with filler words. Using 'umm' makes one look a bit slow. 'like' puts one in the 'stuck-in-teens' category. Dead air '...' confuses people into wondering whether the sentence/thought ended. Not spacing at all makes one sound like an off-the-rails train (read: new york speech). And 'f' might put one on the bad side of folks who dont-take-kindly-to-cussin'.

Don't assume people want to be 'edgy' when they have some ingrained filler language. I have long since moved on from the part of my life where I thought people that didn't like 'cursewords' were spineless adult-children. Yet those same people do not often return the favor of giving up the useless offense over minor differences in speech, that we may just speak. You say 'umm', I say 'f-in'.

...but if these are words routinely make up some of your speech all the time in general, what do you do when you wanna vent?

@Magdalina I'm more of a stew-er than a vent-er. My venting is hoping on a game and playing totally recklessly. Fight that too-large pack of mobs and hope your ult generates in time to survive, play some aggresive characters in dota2 and blink face-first into the enemy, good ol' naked-man-with-large-hammer gameplay in dark souls. I've never felt any better yelling at someone (or into the wind) with any words, rather not use my speech like that at all ^^

Enslaved · May 2017

F-word? What about R-word? Also, I noticed that F-word among Orsimer became T-word.

CaptainBeerDude · May 2017

My apologies, dear Madam.

And to be fair, I'm probably the apex of uncouth persons around Deshaan and the Rift...

Back on topic, all of you are getting up in arms about her specifying dropping of an F-bomb. I thought the post was more about general rudeness.
I, too, have been known to express myself with bombs that start with many varied and colourful letters that give pause and bring the sanguine of shame to the cheeks of experienced maritime explorers.
I have still heard children saying *** that makes me cringe though. Good thing I can put them on ignore.

Sharee · May 2017

CaptainBeerDude wrote: »

Back on topic, all of you are getting up in arms about her specifying dropping of an F-bomb. I thought the post was more about general rudeness.

QFT.

Rayya_Blackheart · May 2017

Shardan4968 · May 2017

I think that author understand her mistake and there's no need to post more stupid memes and humiliate her. She wrote stupid thing, now let this thread die. Don't act like stupid kids.

FoulSnowpaw · May 2017

The problem is probably more about rudeness. Virtual messaging inhibits presence of individuality, thus withdrawing respect for what or whom can be their undoing if said in reality otherwise. TESO reaches out to various people around the world with different outlooks and norms, so it is not surprising to find people with character that may seem unpleasant. And to comprehend personal matters beyond the screen is inconceivable. But I personally believe that a commonwealth behavior is obtainable, but not adopted by all. It is doable, but not incentivized. Despite irksome behavior by some players ZOS does a fine job keeping things ethical.

This statement is cool. You know it's cool.

There is an ignore option. Problem solved!

Tasear · May 2017

CaptainBeerDude wrote: »

My apologies, dear Madam.

And to be fair, I'm probably the apex of uncouth persons around Deshaan and the Rift...

Back on topic, all of you are getting up in arms about her specifying dropping of an F-bomb. I thought the post was more about general rudeness.
I, too, have been known to express myself with bombs that start with many varied and colourful letters that give pause and bring the sanguine of shame to the cheeks of experienced maritime explorers.
I have still heard children saying *** that makes me cringe though. Good thing I can put them on ignore.

Fun fact, I believe Elden root is separated into two instances. So if you are truly looking for somewhere peace elden root is the place to be at least on the 2nd & 3rd floor (only crafters and questers up there). Humblemud is probably a good house to buy if you want crafting stations and peace of mind.

But if you are truly adventurouss visit the main capital cities and stay awhile you will notice a difference of tone from the population. My biased joke isn't without some truth.

P.S OP it's a culture difference not harm nor disrespect is attended. Moderation does a good job on this for the most part tamerial is a smuggly community... just don't go to cydrolli... there be blood bath there

pattyLtd · May 2017

I'm also a woman that doesn't feel offended or disrespected by the f-word lol, i am curious to why you post this to be honest.

Obviously mutual respect is important but it's best to not take everything some stranger says in a game all to serious or personal.

Lexynide · May 2017

Alhatariel wrote: »

After i have been on the internet in almost 25 years now I am still sometimes in shock about what people can say here in the forums, both towards Zos or other players.

Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door. Club Penguin is two blocks down.

Vandarix · May 2017

Alhatariel wrote: »

Also the use of the `F-word`, a real sign of cultural degradation, can be found almost everywhere in Eso and thats for me the reason that I never use TS, so Ill be spared of hearing it. The `F-word` is giving a clear sign of disrecpect to all of us woman.

And there we are again: mutual respect...

So, F-word is disrespectful to women? You should hop on the vent with the Aussie I'm sure they'll trigger your SJW status with a special C word every other sentence. They use it as a term for Endearment; just like we do for the F-word.

Tasear · May 2017

Maybe OP lives in a different country or speaks a different language. Of course maybe this meant something else in a different era, but dear OP it's not a deeming statement towards woman. It's more " why did this happen" or "I hate you" or " I am late to work", or " the boss saw me on eso forums!!!"

Moorcrofts · May 2017

How could someone have spent 25 years on the internet and not at least become familiarized with some of the common language and culture. Unless, of course, they haven't actually been on the internet in the broader sense for that long. We didn't all spend time in usenet groups or on 4chan in its early days to learn how to grow a thicker skin. Just playing any number of MMOs over the years would have done that. Heck, participate in the comment section on youtube and you'll wish for asbestos underoos. I've been online since about 91 myself and I don't see how it's possible for someone to actually be active for that long and still be that clueless.

I think the much more likely answer is as has already been pointed out several times, the perceived personal insult.

gary.mcleodeb17_ESO · May 2017

I was interested by this subject and want to express some thoughts.
Surely, there is always a time, and a place to swear, in real life, in gaming, with peers etc. Experience and respect of others dictates if, when and where you can express in that manner, if you feel like it.
Slang finds it's way into language, and can make a statement in all manner of different ways, good, bad and ugly. Language is fascinating! As a native speaker of English teaching in Poland, I was surprised to hear some Polish friends (and on the odd and rare occasion, a student) use the f word speaking to me in English. Clearly the impact of using a swear word in English seemed to be lost to them or they thought it was acceptable to use. It still surprised me, but in all cases I wasn't offended, but pointed out to my students that some people would be shocked to hear that word being used and to exercise restraint and caution. A word like F**k must seem almost funny to a non native English speaker.
On the subject of using slang and cross culture/languages etc. There is a word in Polish I'd hear frequently usually in public places by 'tough' guys and girls. K***a. To me as a British native speaker of English, this word really does sound and looks funny to be truthful, but I rapidly discovered as in English, (or any language I guess) there is a time and a place to use it and preferably according to many of my friends never at all. Though I did hear some friends use it rarely and as an extreme expression, (e.g. dropping something and breaking it, burning themselves on a hot stove etc) I did learn another expression, which used in the right context can be appropriate and funny, Ja p******e!
I just wanted to share some thoughts.
Bottom line should be, think about where and who you are with, and would you risk offending them. If you are offended, make it known you'd prefer people in your group, guild etc or even community, not to use such language, though it might not have the desired outcome. Best to use the profanity filter as has been already and often suggested.
Have a great game all.

rootimus · May 2017

Is this thread a trap designed to get women members to out themselves, or just an elaborate troll? 7/10 if it's the latter.

klowdy1 · May 2017

What f word are you talking about, because the 4 letter one I'm thinking of has nothing to do with gender. It is actually one of the most versatile words out there. It can be a noun, verb, adjective, and just a general nice word to yell when you are upset. You seem to be a person that takes offense too easily.

Get used to having more interactions than people used to have 50 years ago, and don't be so sensitive to words, that most of the time, are there for color. And yes, I would say this to your face, anonymity has nothing to do with it.

Muramasa89 · May 2017

In my time on the internet, I have learnt that many so-called "adults" are really really just children in adult bodies. The sorts that insist on getting offended by nothing. Why is it so hard to just be well adjusted?

Kay1 · May 2017

You mean ***?

I really don't care to be honest, be respectful and people will be respectful, *** is not degrading womens is just an expression and is not even considered an insult is like "***" in French or "Joder" in Spanish, don't overreact and take it easy because after all is just a game.

F7sus4 · May 2017

Alhatariel wrote: »

It is an interesting phenomena that some, when they enjoy the relativele anonymous presence in the internet, act in a different way as they should do in real life.

Rather than phenomena it's basic psychological truism that feeling anonymous (especially in bigger crowd) provokes more outward attitude and boasting behavior. This was observed as a way of social communication in basically all intelligent species (ironically) and not just ***mo sapiens. I know it won't help but knowing that this will happen (and why) might be useful thought to grasp upon.

Distillateur · May 2017

If I were in the "shop," I'd likely point out your grammar is f***ed. But luckily I'm knee-deep in the beautiful degradation that is an online game. Anonymity intact.

pod88kk · May 2017

I work in a restaurant and I can tell you that everyone uses that word, hangry customers, staff & of course kids(no respect for anything these days). One thing that puzzles me more though is how people can be so hostile, rude & insulting to someone who has access to something you're about to eat. I've been tempted to but I never would because I'd hate to think someone would do it to me but I'm sure it happens.

ZOS_Bill · May 2017

We are closing this thread since the discussion has went off-topic and is starting to have less relevance to ESO. Keep in mind that General Discussion is meant for discussions related to the game.