I got sick of reporting people. I'v done it 100s of times but I NEVER get the response I want.

Stupid RNG...

In general I think the world has gone too soft, the "Sticks and Stones" ethos was one I was raised on and it promotes a degree of mental toughness which has served me well in life and despite the schools trying to teach my children otherwise I will promote mental resilience in my offspring.
I am an employer and I have hired a lot of people in my time. My workplace is inclusive and I am proud of that but I see a lot of younger generation people who just can not function in a competitive workplace properly as they have been wrapped in cotton wool their whole lives. Protected from rejection and lacking the social skills to deal with it properly.

Offence can never, ever be given, it can only be taken and if you lack mental toughness you will take a lot of offence and every little thing will impact your quality of life.

With all that said I do not agree with the whole "Sticks and stones" thing in the context of Op`s experience. Words like that deserve to be dealt with and not ignored. Take solace in the fact that whatever waste of human skin typed those words would never have had the backbone to actually say that to someone`s face.

There's always going to be toxic and vile people. What comes out of their mouths says more about them than the victim. Something we need to teach young ones before they are exposed to it. Anyone with a decent level of self worth would see these creeps for what they are and pay no heed to them.

In EVE Online if you tell someone to kill themselves you'll be banned for it (which is why everyone says Pod Yourself). There is a vast difference between telling someone to go die (for real) and just smack talk saying someone sucks at the game or is an idiot.

Report incidents like this to ZOS if you can, it is a serious offence.

Fun fact, someone once cracked a joke about going to kill themselves in a trade hub on EVE and another player saw it and reported it worried it was true. Hours later Interpol knocked on the persons door to make sure they were okay. Turns out CCP contacted them to make sure nothing happened.

Jitterbug wrote: »

I tend to agree. But anyway you cut it that idiom is nothing more than an excuse to act and treat people anyway you please without any regard for other people's feelings. I'm fully aware that there's a whole generation of men that find pride in seeing themselves as the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket, but words do hurt. Not only the ones who hear them, but also the ones who utter them. It does something bad to a man's soul to classify other people in derogatory ways.

I agree with the generation of drill Sergeants comment but I should clarify that is not my generation nor is it my outlook. If my friends called me a foul name that would hurt me, they are the people I care about and I hope care about me and my feelings. If you were to call me the exact same name it would not impact my life in anyway whatsoever, I do not know you, you do not know me and your insult can not harm me.

My point is when people lack the mental toughness to handle noise from people that should not be able to impact their lives and general wellbeing then they are in for a really rough ride through life.
There are clear exceptions and the example Op provided is clearly one of them.

Titansteele wrote: »

Jitterbug wrote: »

I tend to agree. But anyway you cut it that idiom is nothing more than an excuse to act and treat people anyway you please without any regard for other people's feelings. I'm fully aware that there's a whole generation of men that find pride in seeing themselves as the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket, but words do hurt. Not only the ones who hear them, but also the ones who utter them. It does something bad to a man's soul to classify other people in derogatory ways.

I agree with the generation of drill Sergeants comment but I should clarify that is not my generation nor is it my outlook. If my friends called me a foul name that would hurt me, they are the people I care about and I hope care about me and my feelings. If you were to call me the exact same name it would not impact my life in anyway whatsoever, I do not know you, you do not know me and your insult can not harm me.

My point is when people lack the mental toughness to handle noise from people that should not be able to impact their lives and general wellbeing then they are in for a really rough ride through life.
There are clear exceptions and the example Op provided is clearly one of them.

You write insightful things.
I just slightly disagree. I know it would not hurt either of us "on paper" if I called you something awful because to you I'm anonymous. My point is that whatever we put out into the universe either helps cleanse or pollute it. The guy talking about suicide in chat (from the OP's story) is darkening not only his own soul but the people around him with negative vibes. I know this comes off incredibly "flower power"-ish, but try to think of it in scientific terms. If you pour oil into a body of water, or whatever really. Our common discourse is incredibly important to our well being as a social species, and while it may be good advice to say to children not to be bothered by the harsh words of strangers, I truly believe it is actually impossible.

Jitterbug wrote: »

Titansteele wrote: »

Jitterbug wrote: »

I tend to agree. But anyway you cut it that idiom is nothing more than an excuse to act and treat people anyway you please without any regard for other people's feelings. I'm fully aware that there's a whole generation of men that find pride in seeing themselves as the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket, but words do hurt. Not only the ones who hear them, but also the ones who utter them. It does something bad to a man's soul to classify other people in derogatory ways.

I agree with the generation of drill Sergeants comment but I should clarify that is not my generation nor is it my outlook. If my friends called me a foul name that would hurt me, they are the people I care about and I hope care about me and my feelings. If you were to call me the exact same name it would not impact my life in anyway whatsoever, I do not know you, you do not know me and your insult can not harm me.

My point is when people lack the mental toughness to handle noise from people that should not be able to impact their lives and general wellbeing then they are in for a really rough ride through life.
There are clear exceptions and the example Op provided is clearly one of them.

You write insightful things.
I just slightly disagree. I know it would not hurt either of us "on paper" if I called you something awful because to you I'm anonymous. My point is that whatever we put out into the universe either helps cleanse or pollute it. The guy talking about suicide in chat (from the OP's story) is darkening not only his own soul but the people around him with negative vibes. I know this comes off incredibly "flower power"-ish, but try to think of it in scientific terms. If you pour oil into a body of water, or whatever really. Our common discourse is incredibly important to our well being as a social species, and while it may be good advice to say to children not to be bothered by the harsh words of strangers, I truly believe it is actually impossible.

I think you may be more intuitive than I and I certainly not discount your views or way of thinking about this but I think the realist in me would say that you would be hoping for a utopia, an unattainable vision of humanity and society.
Look back in our history and it shows you what people are truly capable of. Some people will always choose to pour oil into that metaphoric body of water, I can not prevent that from happening as much as I would like to be able too. What I can do is choose how that will impact me and my life. It is not about ignoring the oil that pollutes the water either, it is about not allowing the oil to consume me. That is where the mental toughness becomes a benefit and that is why I think stripping that out of the skillset of my children puts them at a disadvantage.

Always some idiots online, saying offensive, idiotic stuff.

Just ignore them.

Titansteele wrote: »

Jitterbug wrote: »

Titansteele wrote: »

Jitterbug wrote: »

I tend to agree. But anyway you cut it that idiom is nothing more than an excuse to act and treat people anyway you please without any regard for other people's feelings. I'm fully aware that there's a whole generation of men that find pride in seeing themselves as the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket, but words do hurt. Not only the ones who hear them, but also the ones who utter them. It does something bad to a man's soul to classify other people in derogatory ways.

I agree with the generation of drill Sergeants comment but I should clarify that is not my generation nor is it my outlook. If my friends called me a foul name that would hurt me, they are the people I care about and I hope care about me and my feelings. If you were to call me the exact same name it would not impact my life in anyway whatsoever, I do not know you, you do not know me and your insult can not harm me.

My point is when people lack the mental toughness to handle noise from people that should not be able to impact their lives and general wellbeing then they are in for a really rough ride through life.
There are clear exceptions and the example Op provided is clearly one of them.

You write insightful things.
I just slightly disagree. I know it would not hurt either of us "on paper" if I called you something awful because to you I'm anonymous. My point is that whatever we put out into the universe either helps cleanse or pollute it. The guy talking about suicide in chat (from the OP's story) is darkening not only his own soul but the people around him with negative vibes. I know this comes off incredibly "flower power"-ish, but try to think of it in scientific terms. If you pour oil into a body of water, or whatever really. Our common discourse is incredibly important to our well being as a social species, and while it may be good advice to say to children not to be bothered by the harsh words of strangers, I truly believe it is actually impossible.

I think you may be more intuitive than I and I certainly not discount your views or way of thinking about this but I think the realist in me would say that you would be hoping for a utopia, an unattainable vision of humanity and society.
Look back in our history and it shows you what people are truly capable of. Some people will always choose to pour oil into that metaphoric body of water, I can not prevent that from happening as much as I would like to be able too. What I can do is choose how that will impact me and my life. It is not about ignoring the oil that pollutes the water either, it is about not allowing the oil to consume me. That is where the mental toughness becomes a benefit and that is why I think stripping that out of the skillset of my children puts them at a disadvantage.

I hear you, I do. I just feel that ignoring it is a dangerous path that may lead to disregard. We need to educate ourselves to be better, not to ignore the evil, but to fight it. I don't wish to put myself on a pedestal as I'm in no way enlightened enough to live by this credo, and I will say the same to my children as you say to yours when they encounter this evil. Simply looking back at history, as you suggest, will tell me more about the need to stand up than the need to ignore.
I dream I can teach my children to embrace "bad" people, love them, and teach them a better way.

"I dream I can teach my children to embrace "bad" people, love them, and teach them a better way. "

Oh god...

Coakknows wrote: »

"I dream I can teach my children to embrace "bad" people, love them, and teach them a better way. "

Oh god...

To each their own. You are free to raise your children any way you see fit ;-)

Edit: and yes I'm fully aware how touchy feely it comes off. I just find the debate really interesting. Also, I apologize if my rl values make you uncomfortable.

The internet there be trolls. Put your troll armor on. Only thing worse than a troll is a righteously indignant do-goody who thinks their fix is the only one truly perfect way which always leads to legislation, restrictions, and so many rules you can't take a shyit. We'll all end up with lobotomies if either troll or the holygraily gets their way. Just ignore them. Don't feed them. Stop being shocked by them. Trolls win when you react and restrict everyone's freedom. Wake up. You are being used.

Mavloc wrote: »

When I was growing up my parent's taught me this valuable lesson:
"Stick and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you"

Apparently a nursery rhyme no longer taught in this day and age.

That was more so name-calling and insults little kids would say to each other. Telling someone to kill thenselves and hope their heartbroken mother has to put her beloved child into the ground is way more serious than that.

FrostFallFox wrote: »

Honest question, to everybody defending the "sticks and stones" idea, do you think it's okay to tell someone to end their life?

It's obviously not and that's why these things should be reported. This isn't just about "err muh gerd triggered!" it might just be the thing that pushes people with existing mental illnesses to kill them self.

The whole "stick and stones" idea isn't about encouraging people to say offensive things. It's about people not busting into tears over words. It's about people being able to respond (or ignore). Especially when we're talking about grown up person and a parent hearing mean things from underage kids in a videogame.
Sure thing, you can very well report it. There is a way: click at player's name, select "Report a player", select categories that are fitting the case best and click "Submit". Done.
Forums aren't the place to do it. And the most important thing: no name or screenshot was providen either so mods will not be even able to take action. Henceforth it is called whining, not reporting.

CMFan1966 wrote: »

I don't normally pay much attention to chat, but I was glancing at it while I was passing the time waiting for a Dolmen to start up. I don't have the full name of the person who made these comments and if I did, I'm still not sure how I would report it. This person was telling someone that they should commit suicide and that they would like to see the person's mother have to watch as her child was put into the ground.

As a mother and as a widow, this disturbed me on so many levels. I wasn't going to say anything about it at all, but I couldn't get it off of my mind. I thought that sharing it might ease my mind some. I'm not trolling and I'm not trying to start trouble. I know better than to think that everyone is always going to get along, but everybody deserves more respect than that. I appreciate the opportunity to be able to unload.

If you see anything like that again, simply right click (assuming you're on PC) on their name in zone chat and add them to your ignore list. You can then go to your ignore list and see what their @ will be. You can then use that information to report them along with a screenshot of their comments and send it to ZOS. There's a good chance they'll just get a warning or at most a 3 day suspension, but then they'll be back and hopefully more wary of being idiots in zone.