Im right there with you. Xbox1 platform but seem's like allbthe players i cone across are just partying it up by the wyshire and never want to actually go kill something

You can try looking for a guild here on the forums in the Guild Recruitment section for your platform.

This is the main forum link:
https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/

Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page, and select guild recruitment for whichever platform/server you are on. There are all kinds of guilds, so look through them to find the kind that does activities that you want to do. Not all guilds are active, even if they are advertising, so you may have to try several guilds out before you find one that suits your needs. You can be in 5 guilds at the same time, so join some and see if you find one you like. If not, leave those guilds and look for more.

Also, there will occasionally be guilds recruiting in zone chat. They usually write a little bit about themselves in their ad, so if you see one that sounds interesting to you, join up and see how it goes.

Once you start doing group activities, such as 4 player dungeons with people who will show you the ropes, you will start to gain confidence and maybe start using the group tool or zone chat to make your own groups for those kinds of activities. I have met MANY nice people from forming groups in zone chat and from the grouping tool. In game, you have a "friend's list". When you come across some of these nice people, right click their name in chat or in your party window and select "add to friends list". Once on your list, you can right click their name from within that list and set a note (that only you can read). I like to put in what role they play and where I met them. Later on, if I want to do some activity, I can check my friend's list and see who is on, then ask if they want to group up. If you keep up with this list, and keep only people who like to participate regularly, you will have a nice resource to use when you need help.