What Would Be Your Rebuttal To Insulting NPCs If You Could Speak?
Ethromelb14_ESO
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Every once in awhile you come across that NPC that says something in passing to you, that was just messed up. What would you say to get them back? This is for fun, but try to keep it somewhat decent in accordance to forum rules.
Mine are:
NPC: If you'd like to lose 10 lbs of ugly fat, I'd be happy to chop off your head.
Reply: But then your mother would have to kiss my a** instead.
NPC: My temper is short and my blade is long.
Reply: Then I guess you're really gonna feel it when you shove it.
NPC: Surprise me ... say something intelligent.
Reply: Surprise me. Talk with my ______ in your throat.
Edited by Ethromelb14_ESO on August 24, 2016 5:48PM Mine are:
NPC: If you'd like to lose 10 lbs of ugly fat, I'd be happy to chop off your head.
Reply: But then your mother would have to kiss my a** instead.
NPC: My temper is short and my blade is long.
Reply: Then I guess you're really gonna feel it when you shove it.
NPC: Surprise me ... say something intelligent.
Reply: Surprise me. Talk with my ______ in your throat.
Motto: Make deceivers believers.
Strength of character is not a physical thing. -E
I keep forgetting to remember to get a photographic memory.
Strength of character is not a physical thing. -E
Walking a mile in someone else's shoes, has nothing to do with the path taken. -E
An accusation of elitism, is an indirect recognition of one's own inferiority. -E
The best way to prove someone wrong, is to do better yourself. -E
An accusation of elitism, is an indirect recognition of one's own inferiority. -E
The best way to prove someone wrong, is to do better yourself. -E
I keep forgetting to remember to get a photographic memory.
5
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Nestor✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭What do mean if I could speak? I speak all the time when playing RPGs.
Enjoy the game, life is what you really want to be worried about.
PakKat "Everything was going well, until I died"
Gary Gravestink "I am glad you died, I needed the help"3 -
Ethromelb14_ESO✭✭✭✭✭What do mean if I could speak? I speak all the time when playing RPGs.
Like if you could really talk back to them.Motto: Make deceivers believers.
Strength of character is not a physical thing. -EWalking a mile in someone else's shoes, has nothing to do with the path taken. -E
An accusation of elitism, is an indirect recognition of one's own inferiority. -E
The best way to prove someone wrong, is to do better yourself. -E
I keep forgetting to remember to get a photographic memory.0 -
vyndral13preub18_ESO✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭Why would I talk to them at all? Although it maybe why my bounty is so high...3 -
Ethromelb14_ESO✭✭✭✭✭vyndral13preub18_ESO wrote: »Why would I talk to them at all? Although it maybe why my bounty is so high...
Very true. There is that.Motto: Make deceivers believers.
Strength of character is not a physical thing. -EWalking a mile in someone else's shoes, has nothing to do with the path taken. -E
An accusation of elitism, is an indirect recognition of one's own inferiority. -E
The best way to prove someone wrong, is to do better yourself. -E
I keep forgetting to remember to get a photographic memory.0 -
NordSwordnBoard✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭Hail, as I casually hardcast a purple rock to your face.
NPCs that thank you for good deeds should argue with the ones that insult you and defend you.
Imagine an endgame quest where you have to clear your reputation that starts randomly with a smartazz NPC.Fear is the Mindkiller1 -
Necrelios✭✭✭✭✭I would say, 00047EA.disable to the NPC.Terms & Conditions ["We revoke permission to fictional legal constructs or private/public persons for selling of any private data, censorship, surveillance, personage or conversion as a trespass of law. We prohibit the practice of "procedural law" or corporate statues in place of divine law."]2 -
Abeille✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭No u.Just so that everyone knows, my Altmer still can't have black hair. About a dozen of Altmer NPCs in the game have black hair. Just saying.
Meet my characters:Command: Do the thing.
Zadarri, Khajiit Fist of Thalmor: The thing was done, as commanded.
Durza gra-Maghul, Orc blacksmith: The thing was done perfectly, in the most efficient way.
Tegwen, Bosmer troublemaker: You can't prove I didn't do the thing.
Sings-Many-Songs, Argonian fisher: Sure, I'll do the thing... Eventually. Maybe.
Aerindel, Altmer stormcaller: After extensive research, I've come to the conclusion that doing the thing would be a waste of resources.
Liliel, Dunmer pyromancer: Aerindel said I shouldn't do the thing. Something about "resources".
Gyda Snowcaller, Nord cryomancer: I will find a way to do it that won't waste resources and make Aerindel proud of me.
Beatrice Leoriane, Breton vampire: I persuaded someone else into doing the thing. You are welcome, dear.
Sahima, Redguard performer: Doing the thing sounds awfully unpleasant and really not my problem.
Ellaria Valerius, Imperial priestess: I'll pray to the Eight for the thing to be done, if it is Their will.1 -
ADarklore✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭xilfxlegion wrote: »speak ? i just blade of woe them.
Sadly, majority of the time the insults come from the IMMORTAL guards.CP: 2078 ** ESO+ 2025 Content Pass ** ~~ ***** Strictly a solo PvE quester *****
~~Started Playing: May 2015 | Stopped Playing: July 2025~~1 -
Robbmrp✭✭✭✭✭
✭Actions speak louder than words..... Too bad this game doesn't have some of the features that AoC had....
[img][/img]
NA Server - Kildair0 -
iam117✭✭✭"*** yo couch"
[edited for profanity masking]Edited by ZOS_CoriJ on August 31, 2016 4:55PM<Liv3mind><PC/NA - Legion Of The Bloodworks>Snowflake Patrol0 -
JD2013✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭So's your face.Sweetrolls for all!
Christophe Mottierre - Breton Templar with his own whole darn estate! Templar Houses are so 2015. EU DC
PC Beta Tester January 2014
Elder of The Black
Order of Sithis
The Runners
@TamrielTraverse - For Tamriel related Twitter shenanigans!
https://tamrieltraveller.wordpress.com/
Crafting bag OP! ZOS nerf pls!0 -
WldKarde✭✭✭✭✭Can't really share what I usually say according to forum rules
Let's just say that "Is that YOU I smell?" for some reason really hits my grumpy button.
I realize I stink as a player...but do they really need to call me out on it
All in all though I think the NPC insults are a nice touch on ZOS's part.PC NACharacters formally known as Veteran 16:
Wldkarde, Sir WldKarde , Lil-Miss WldKarde,
Dame WldKarde Stamplar "Master Angler" "Main" ,
Shady WldKarde, WldKarde"s Bacon, Jaded WldKarde,
River Wldkarde18 Master Anglers so far"Dames and Sirs, take my advice, pull down your pants...and slide on the ice!" Slightly adjusted quote of Dr. Sidney Friedman from M*A*S*H0 -
phairdon✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭Love the random insults, always make me chuckle. Often the best answer is to say nothing at all.Your immersion is breaking my entitlement. Buff Sorc's. Darkshroud the cremator Death by furRubeus BlackFluffy knight BladesThe Fat PantherPsijic Fungal SausageFlesheater the VileCaspian Rafferty FernsbyArchfiend Warlock PiersThe Black BishopEvil Wizard Lizard (EU)Neberra Vestige Fajeon (EU)Salanis Deathstick (EU)Blood Mage Alchemist (EU)0 -
Avenias✭✭✭✭Ethromelb14_ESO wrote: »Every once in awhile you come across that NPC that says something in passing to you, that was just messed up. What would you say to get them back? This is for fun, but try to keep it somewhat decent in accordance to forum rules.
Mine are:
NPC: If you'd like to lose 10 lbs of ugly fat, I'd be happy to chop off your head.
Reply: But then your mother would have to kiss my a** instead.
NPC: My temper is short and my blade is long.
Reply: Then I guess you're really gonna feel it when you shove it.
NPC: Surprise me ... say something intelligent.
Reply: Surprise me. Talk with my ______ in your throat.
U cant cos ur reply will be filtered. Pc police with their censorship bs at their best. Npc can curse but u cant!1 -
WhiteCoatSyndrome✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭For all those NPCs in distress who, when I ask them if they need help/are all right/etc, snap back with a sarcastic 'I'm fine, I did this to myself on purpose', I dearly would like to take them at their word and tell them 'Okay, have fun!' and skip merrily off, but sadly you can't completely those quests that way.
Any variation of 'I don't have time for this' from the guards makes me want to respond back with 'then why are you taking time to snark at me when I never spoke to you in the first place?'
When I hear ''You're not staring at me, are you?' (usually when I'm facing a completely different direction) I generally jibe back with 'no, you're not good looking enough to stare at.'
This is why I grabbed the 'silence is golden' mod for Skyrim.
#proud2BAStarObsessedLoony
PAWS (Positively Against Wrip-off Stuff) - Say No to Crown Crates!
A useful explanation for how RNG works
How to turn off the sustainability features (screen dimming, fps cap) on PC
Merry Christmas and Happy New Life!0 -
carljokl✭✭✭Maybe lean in close and whisper: "Nobody loves you..."
I could also just get really upset and start sobbing and see if I can invoke any guilt. Though guys who throw unprovoked random insults would probably just laugh at me all the more.
You want to chop off my head? Let me see your sword. Impressive, anyone would think you were compensating for something.
My Characters
Xargothius: Breton - JOAT / Magsorc | Orchid the Fair: Orismer - Crafter / Heavy Tank | Voneri Vox: Dunmer - Magplar Healer | Rexorgiana: Imperial - Temptress / Magblade
Phirkius: Altmer - MagSorc | Rexorigus: Imperial - Med Tank / StamKnight | Sven Svedishchef: Nord - Provisioner / Stamplar | Finds-All-Fungi: Argonian - Alchemist/ Stamblade
Emerald-Wild-Guard: Bosmer - Wyrd / StamSorc | Nates Datum Festi: Imperial - Light Tank / StamKnight | Magnolia Desert-Blossom: Redguard - 2 Handed Stamplar | Shadow-Softpaw: Khajiit - StamBlade
Sorcerer | Dragon Knight | Templar | Night Blade1 -
AlienSlof✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭NPC: Surprise me ... say something intelligent.
Me: Something intelligent.RIP Atherton, my beautiful little gentle friend. I will miss you forever. Without you I am a hollow shell.1 -
UltimaJoe777✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭Depending on my mood it's either something witty and/or sarcastic or the Blade of Woe
For Guards though, some good ol' fashioned pickpocketing and if they catch me I'll *** slap them
Edited by UltimaJoe777 on August 31, 2016 4:53PMGuildmaster of Power With Numbers in PS4 NA Server's Aldmeri Dominion.
Proud Founder of the Yaysay cult! DOWN WITH THE NAYSAY CULT!! #ToxicRemedy0 -
Iselin✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭I'd report them for harassment, put in a ticket if the NPC is not removed from the game and then post a thread here about the lack of action on my ticket
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Sharee✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭"Surprise me, say something intelligent" - you wouldn't understand it.
"I don't have time for idle chatter" - look who's talking. 0 -
BlackguardBob✭✭✭NPC: "...please you have to help me!"
Me: "The only thing I have to do is die!"
NPC:"*&*$£")*&^%$"
Me: "Silence! I get it already. You want me to enter that dangerous dungeon to save your brother and you cannot do it because you arm hurts so much. When I get in there he will be dead and then I will have to lie to you so as to not hurt your feelings about his demise. You will then reward me by promising me a pat on the back to be delivered later."
NPC: "Nice weapon there but do you know how to use it?"
Me: "Make my day, punk!"
NPC: "You let that woman kill the wizard in revenge. Shame on you!"
Me: "Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?"0 -
Autolycus✭✭✭✭✭
✭NPC: "Surprise me. Say something intelligent."
Me: "If I had a septim for every premature guard death that I orchestrated, I'd have purchased and resold your family a dozen times already."0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAy4zULKFDU
https://youtu.be/T-5wC5U51jw