Dear Zennimaxian Staff Members.
My glorious birthday is fast approaching. The day my mother was blessed by my triumphant entry into this world has been an annually celebrated affair since 1982. Since I'm almost an old man now, I also took two days of from work just so I could chill and wonder around inside the beautifully crafted landscape that is ESO. Do some quests for some obviously lazy quest givers, kill some pesky skeevers, you know? Normal imperial peasant stuff.
So if anything is to happen on the 1st and 2nd Hearthfire that would prevent me from adventuring I would be forced to pray to my patron saint, Molag Bal so that justice can righteously be occur. If that doesn’t help, because let’s face it Mr. Molag can sometimes be a proper ***, well then ill resort to my tried and tested ritual the Black Sacrament, but I had a slight falling out with the idiot Speaker who misspelled my last target and now I have to look timothy’s mother in the eyes at temple each Sundas while that *** Breton still walks this earth, sigh… smile and wave boys, smile… and… wave.
I am forwarding a similarly worded warning to my ISP, my family comprising of my dearly loved husband, 4 dogs and 17 cats. Be glad my ultimatum does include you serving me coffee every 2 hours, yeah my husband out of necessity unfortunately drew the short ass stick there, but that's the life he chose.
To summarise.
Took two days Leave. It’s My Birthday the 1st Hearthfire.
You’ve been Warned Sir/Madam.
Yours Sincerely,
Angelus.3701
Templar, Sorc and DK all the way!
"I plan to live forever, or die trying."