Totalitarian wrote: »

I have social issues. They used to be a lot worse than they currently are. Two things helped me:

1. ESO. My first MMO, so the social aspect helped me become more social.
2. Women. There was a girl I liked, and she liked me. We became good friends, and nothing progressed past that, but still, she really helped me to talk.

1. ESO is my first MMO also.
2. No offense. I tend to be even more shy towards woman. Just don't know why. I also not trying to offend anyone. Sorry if I did. I am really glad that you made and have a good friend I am glad she helped you talk more.

Thank you for this advice

danielpatrickkeaneub17_ESO wrote: »

Seriously, the only way you can be less shy is to be less shy. Say some stuff. I know it's hard for some people but sometimes you just gotta say F it.

I also don't make good conversations. Just don't know how to. But I see waht you mean also? Thank you

BomblePants wrote: »

Being shy is really hard... and the worst thing is, the only way to make headway is to practice which requires constantly putting yourself outside your comfort zone.

I'm very shy too but I feel encouraged by this thread that I'm not the only one

It sure is really hard. I agree with your statement. I to also feel encourage by this thread to. Glad I not onlyone also

SadieJoan wrote: »

Once you get text chat, voice chat will probably become much easier, because you can get to know people a bit before you talk to them. When my friends and I first joined ts together, it was great and really comfortable, no awkwardness whatsoever, it was like we had known one another for ages, because in some ways, we kind of had through text chat

I can't wait for text chat. I feel you may be right. By using both. Will become easier for me over time. Thank you

I'm pretty quiet on comms myself- but if you just make a little joke here or there people won't mind you. In fact, if you are funny and cool they'll want to be your friend. However if you talk nonstop you'll get booted... Find the right mix of talking and quiet and you'll make friends.

Vigarr wrote: »

You're not talking to people...that's what you're doing wrong
It seems like PUGs or area chat within public dungeons/delves would be a good start as there's usually not the random crap you hear in town.

I'm not shy irl but I somewhat understand you as it's awkward talking to random people in area chat or even in guild chat. I don't know these people and don't really care to try to make friends I can't see (don't do social stuff online beyond this forum).

I also never add people that try to friend me on Xbox as I prefer to keep my list small and only include the couple of people I personally know who play games. I ran across someone cool that my friend and I helped out one night, he asked if it's ok that he friend us and then I never spoke to him again.

I agree. I need to talk to people more.

Kalifas wrote: »

Serjustwhy wrote:

I am so shy. What am I doing wrong?
Was wondering what am I doing wrong? How can I move forward and enjoy talking and be more comfortable doing soon?

Wondering is what you are doing wrong. Wondering means you are thinking about what to talk about, will people be nice, does my voice sound bad, will they think I'm cool, will I offend somebody,etc,etc.

When you think about past, present, or future, you become nervous, anxious, scared, hesitant, or excited. You can even get nervous about getting too excited.

It boils down to whatever you think, you can never know until you do something. And the more you think, the less straight forward and honest you are equal people not considering you a trust worthy or grounded person even if you are.

Speak first, with truth being the primary goal. Because regardless of how an outcome is or how you want it to be. It will turn out the way it does, regardless of what you think.

The simple and short answer to becoming comfortable at doing something. Is do it often.

You didn't master riding a bicycle or car or learning how to speak in a few tries. You became comfortable by exposing yourself to new things. What you fear, you resist. What you resist holds you back in this life. What holds you back in this life, holds you back from living a boundless, free, and wholesome life. What holds you back from living a boundless, free, and wholesome life, leaves you dying with regret when the day you die comes tomorrow or fifty years from now.

Live now, for now is all that is real. And tomorrow might never come.

I really enjoyed this post. What you says is true. I will keep this in mind. I like your quote to. Thank you.

Don't worry I think a good portion of gamers are also shy. I am included in this list.

I rarely talk and when I do it's because I knew the person for a good year and became comfortable. I always make sure I let my guild mates or leader know I have social anxiety before hand so they know I'm not avoiding chat on purpose. Most people on the game understand and let you warm up to everyone. With everyone knowing, my anxiety gets less severe because if I come out as awkward at first well they'll know why and won't judge.

I remember one time on a different mmo, I mic'ed up to push myself out there to my guild mates. And I don't know why but sometimes when I swallow a second or two later my throat makes this loud frog noise and I swear it's only when I am on the mic it happens. So there I am swallowing nervously, all is quiet in chat. Here comes the dreaded frog noise which prompted one of my guild mates to ask "did someone just fart?" You guys, I had to hold in my laughter until I could discreetly unplug my mic I was so embarrassed and I never tried to talk again.

And you gotta love the boyfriend who actually farts right next to you and loudly exclaims you did it while you are in group chat! I make him swear to me he wont try to embarrass me in any way when my mic is turned on.

This is why I welcome text chat.

1. Grab a bottle of whiskey (assuming you are over 18. If not no alcohol for u).
2. Take a nice big swig or 2. Or 3 if you are reallllly shy.
3. Enjoy game with friends while laughing/giggling about on voice chat.
4. win.

Vangy wrote: »

1. Grab a bottle of whiskey (assuming you are over 18. If not no alcohol for u).
2. Take a nice big swig or 2. Or 3 if you are reallllly shy.
3. Enjoy game with friends while laughing/giggling about on voice chat.
4. win.

I've had the most awesome conversations in zone chat whilst half drunk (don't have voice chat), makes me more social

The most difficult thing to do - with many things in life - is to make a start.

You have to understand that engaging a conversation is the hardest part, since you are the one that has to break the ice. Once you've become aware of the fact that people do not mind you contributing to conversations (at all), you will have a much easier time in the future.

People are often friendlier and more helpful than you'd think, and I say this since I reckon that you play 'worst case scenarios' in your head over and over - just like I used to do.

Just wing it and start talking, and if they are being rude or disapproving; it's not your fault and you'll have the moral high-ground. As soon as you realise this - really realise it - you won't suffer from shyness even half as much.

Why be shy on the Internet, its just your voice!!!!

You could be the ugliest, weakest, limp wristed, Geekiest Nerd Virgin ever known to the human race. But Online you can become the Alpha Elitist male noob Dominator.

If you do actually sound like a girl though on voice chat sod it just say you are and get free stuff and profit

Vangy wrote: »

1. Grab a bottle of whiskey (assuming you are over 18. If not no alcohol for u).
2. Take a nice big swig or 2. Or 3 if you are reallllly shy.
3. Enjoy game with friends while laughing/giggling about on voice chat.
4. win.

Nope he to young and il just have to kick his butt if I find out he been getting drunk lol