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The three little noobs - a Zenimax Online Studios bedtime story
Husan
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Once upon a time there were three little noobs. One noob rolled a stamina templar and built a straw house while the second noob rolled magicka templar and built a wooden house. They built their houses very quickly and then started to sing and dance because they were lazy. The third little noob worked hard all day, rolled a dragon knight and built a house of bricks.
A big bad sorc saw the two little templars while they were singing and dancing and thought, “What juicy tender alliance points they will make!” He chased the two templars and they ran and hid in their houses. The big bad sorc went to the first house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in seconds. The frightened little stamplar ran to the second house that was made by a magicka templar. The big bad sorc now came to this house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in minutes. Now, the two little noobs were terrified and ran to the third noobs house that has rolled a dragon knight.
The big bad sorc tried to huff and puff and blow the house down, but he could not. He kept trying for hours but the house was very strong and the little noobs were safe inside. He tried to use overload but the third little noob kept dragon fire scales up. The sorc got his overload reflected and died.
The two little noobs now felt sorry for having rolled a templar. They too rolled dragon knights and lived happily ever after.
Disclaimer: with all the talk about the "templar house" since @Wrobel mentioned it on the ESO Live, I just couldn't help myself but to do this. This is another attempt to make light of the current status of templars, and not to be taken (too) seriously. Here is the previous one if you missed it: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245623/zenileaks-a-zenimax-employees-thoughts-on-the-new-templar-changes-caught-on-tape). Also plugging in my real thoughts about the templar class balance: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245184/official-feedback-thread-for-templars/p7 (reply #207).
A big bad sorc saw the two little templars while they were singing and dancing and thought, “What juicy tender alliance points they will make!” He chased the two templars and they ran and hid in their houses. The big bad sorc went to the first house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in seconds. The frightened little stamplar ran to the second house that was made by a magicka templar. The big bad sorc now came to this house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in minutes. Now, the two little noobs were terrified and ran to the third noobs house that has rolled a dragon knight.
The big bad sorc tried to huff and puff and blow the house down, but he could not. He kept trying for hours but the house was very strong and the little noobs were safe inside. He tried to use overload but the third little noob kept dragon fire scales up. The sorc got his overload reflected and died.
The two little noobs now felt sorry for having rolled a templar. They too rolled dragon knights and lived happily ever after.
Disclaimer: with all the talk about the "templar house" since @Wrobel mentioned it on the ESO Live, I just couldn't help myself but to do this. This is another attempt to make light of the current status of templars, and not to be taken (too) seriously. Here is the previous one if you missed it: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245623/zenileaks-a-zenimax-employees-thoughts-on-the-new-templar-changes-caught-on-tape). Also plugging in my real thoughts about the templar class balance: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245184/official-feedback-thread-for-templars/p7 (reply #207).
16
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eventide03b14a_ESO✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭Once upon a time there were three little noobs. One noob rolled a stamina templar and built a straw house while the second noob rolled magicka templar and built a wooden house. They built their houses very quickly and then started to sing and dance because they were lazy. The third little noob worked hard all day, rolled a dragon knight and built a house of bricks.
A big bad sorc saw the two little templars while they were singing and dancing and thought, “What juicy tender alliance points they will make!” He chased the two templars and they ran and hid in their houses. The big bad sorc went to the first house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in seconds. The frightened little stamplar ran to the second house that was made by a magicka templar. The big bad sorc now came to this house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in minutes. Now, the two little noobs were terrified and ran to the third noobs house that has rolled a dragon knight.
The big bad sorc tried to huff and puff and blow the house down, but he could not. He kept trying for hours but the house was very strong and the little noobs were safe inside. He tried to use overload but the third little noob kept dragon fire scales up. The sorc got his overload reflected and died.
The two little noobs now felt sorry for having rolled a templar. They too rolled dragon knights and lived happily ever after.
Disclaimer: with all the talk about the "templar house" since @Wrobel mentioned it on the ESO Live, I just couldn't help myself but to do this. This is another attempt to make light of the current status of templars, and not to be taken (too) seriously. Here is the previous one if you missed it: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245623/zenileaks-a-zenimax-employees-thoughts-on-the-new-templar-changes-caught-on-tape). Also plugging in my real thoughts about the templar class balance: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245184/official-feedback-thread-for-templars/p7 (reply #207).
No good sorc is going to throw overload light attacks at a DK with his shields up, and even if they did it accidently, there is no way a single overload light attack is going to kill said sorc. The actual way this story would have ended is that the big bad sorc would have hit the DK with magicka detonation, velocious curse, and mage's wrath, and poof no more DK.:trollin:2 -
Alucardo✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭The sorc could stand in mines while hurling non-reflectable meteors, curse, dets, lightning staff heavy attacks, streak through them and basically blow everyone up.3 -
Wollust✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭eventide03b14a_ESO wrote: »Once upon a time there were three little noobs. One noob rolled a stamina templar and built a straw house while the second noob rolled magicka templar and built a wooden house. They built their houses very quickly and then started to sing and dance because they were lazy. The third little noob worked hard all day, rolled a dragon knight and built a house of bricks.
A big bad sorc saw the two little templars while they were singing and dancing and thought, “What juicy tender alliance points they will make!” He chased the two templars and they ran and hid in their houses. The big bad sorc went to the first house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in seconds. The frightened little stamplar ran to the second house that was made by a magicka templar. The big bad sorc now came to this house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in minutes. Now, the two little noobs were terrified and ran to the third noobs house that has rolled a dragon knight.
The big bad sorc tried to huff and puff and blow the house down, but he could not. He kept trying for hours but the house was very strong and the little noobs were safe inside. He tried to use overload but the third little noob kept dragon fire scales up. The sorc got his overload reflected and died.
The two little noobs now felt sorry for having rolled a templar. They too rolled dragon knights and lived happily ever after.
Disclaimer: with all the talk about the "templar house" since @Wrobel mentioned it on the ESO Live, I just couldn't help myself but to do this. This is another attempt to make light of the current status of templars, and not to be taken (too) seriously. Here is the previous one if you missed it: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245623/zenileaks-a-zenimax-employees-thoughts-on-the-new-templar-changes-caught-on-tape). Also plugging in my real thoughts about the templar class balance: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245184/official-feedback-thread-for-templars/p7 (reply #207).
No good sorc is going to throw overload light attacks at a DK with his shields up, and even if they did it accidently, there is no way a single overload light attack is going to kill said sorc. The actual way this story would have ended is that the big bad sorc would have hit the DK with magicka detonation, velocious curse, and mage's wrath, and poof no more DK.
And no good dk is gonna die to the det/curse/wrath combo.Susano'o
Zerg Squad2 -
Husan✭✭✭✭✭Relax guys, it's a fairy tale. It's not supposed to be completely realistic. Focus on the moral of the story instead :P.4
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lolo_01b16_ESO✭✭✭✭✭
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... But suddenly they all dropped dead one after the other and you could hear the sound of dark cloak being used in the area.Once upon a time there were three little noobs. One noob rolled a stamina templar and built a straw house while the second noob rolled magicka templar and built a wooden house. They built their houses very quickly and then started to sing and dance because they were lazy. The third little noob worked hard all day, rolled a dragon knight and built a house of bricks.
A big bad sorc saw the two little templars while they were singing and dancing and thought, “What juicy tender alliance points they will make!” He chased the two templars and they ran and hid in their houses. The big bad sorc went to the first house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in seconds. The frightened little stamplar ran to the second house that was made by a magicka templar. The big bad sorc now came to this house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in minutes. Now, the two little noobs were terrified and ran to the third noobs house that has rolled a dragon knight.
The big bad sorc tried to huff and puff and blow the house down, but he could not. He kept trying for hours but the house was very strong and the little noobs were safe inside. He tried to use overload but the third little noob kept dragon fire scales up. The sorc got his overload reflected and died.
The two little noobs now felt sorry for having rolled a templar. They too rolled dragon knights and lived happily ever after.
Edited by lolo_01b16_ESO on February 15, 2016 4:09PM2 -
eventide03b14a_ESO✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭eventide03b14a_ESO wrote: »Once upon a time there were three little noobs. One noob rolled a stamina templar and built a straw house while the second noob rolled magicka templar and built a wooden house. They built their houses very quickly and then started to sing and dance because they were lazy. The third little noob worked hard all day, rolled a dragon knight and built a house of bricks.
A big bad sorc saw the two little templars while they were singing and dancing and thought, “What juicy tender alliance points they will make!” He chased the two templars and they ran and hid in their houses. The big bad sorc went to the first house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in seconds. The frightened little stamplar ran to the second house that was made by a magicka templar. The big bad sorc now came to this house and huffed and puffed and blew the house down in minutes. Now, the two little noobs were terrified and ran to the third noobs house that has rolled a dragon knight.
The big bad sorc tried to huff and puff and blow the house down, but he could not. He kept trying for hours but the house was very strong and the little noobs were safe inside. He tried to use overload but the third little noob kept dragon fire scales up. The sorc got his overload reflected and died.
The two little noobs now felt sorry for having rolled a templar. They too rolled dragon knights and lived happily ever after.
Disclaimer: with all the talk about the "templar house" since @Wrobel mentioned it on the ESO Live, I just couldn't help myself but to do this. This is another attempt to make light of the current status of templars, and not to be taken (too) seriously. Here is the previous one if you missed it: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245623/zenileaks-a-zenimax-employees-thoughts-on-the-new-templar-changes-caught-on-tape). Also plugging in my real thoughts about the templar class balance: http://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/245184/official-feedback-thread-for-templars/p7 (reply #207).
No good sorc is going to throw overload light attacks at a DK with his shields up, and even if they did it accidently, there is no way a single overload light attack is going to kill said sorc. The actual way this story would have ended is that the big bad sorc would have hit the DK with magicka detonation, velocious curse, and mage's wrath, and poof no more DK.
And no good dk is gonna die to the det/curse/wrath combo.
Must be a lot of really bad DK's then...:trollin:0 -
AriBoh✭✭✭✭✭eventide03b14a_ESO wrote: »
No good sorc is going to throw overload light attacks at a DK with his shields up, and even if they did it accidently, there is no way a single overload light attack is going to kill said sorc. The actual way this story would have ended is that the big bad sorc would have hit the DK with magicka detonation, velocious curse, and mage's wrath, and poof no more DK.
Awww you missed it.Edited by AriBoh on February 15, 2016 4:29PMkhele23eb17
Agreed. Whoever came up with the design should be shot in the foot and only admitted to hospital when he manages to find 3 other people willing to maim themselves the same way in order to accompany him.
ZOS_AmeliaR admin
Ultimately, any method of entering an enemy keep without breaking down the door is considered an exploit. Thanks for checking!
tinythinker
"I used to be a healer once, but then I took a Wrobel to the knee"5 -
Acrolas✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Why didn't the stamplar throw caltrops?
They make lovely lawn ornaments.
I like the ones with numbers on them so I can teach bad guys how to count to dead.
signing off0